As the youngest of 9, I was sometimes spanked for misbehaving. My mother was the disciplinarian, and a spanking was never done in anger. Mostly it was the fear of displeasing my parents than the possibility of punishment that kepe in line. With my own three kids, I didn't find spanking very useful. But I do feel it has it's place.
Raised two kids who really only were physically spanked a couple of times. But they were often picked up so they could be looked at eyeball to eyeball and told they would never do that again. Respect must be taught (and fear doesn’t replace it). But you have to get their attention. I never slapped my kids and disdained people who did— but they never swore at me either. That would tempt me (especially on an airplane)
Debbie - 6 years ago
As with Martha, no room to comment above, but I agree with her. I was raised with the fear of a swat on the rear if I really messed up. I have even given the two granddaughters one or two swats, however, I do question the final outcome of doing so. Grandpa absolutely needed to call this kid out, and perhaps his dad as well, on what respect and appropriate behaviors mean. I do question though what the swat to the rear is teaching a child, if anything, or is it simply a release of anger on the adults part? Having tried discipline both ways I can honestly say that, while apparently effective at the time for getting the child's attention, they will typically still show the behavior over and over again. The swat does nothing to teach the child so we just step up the time out, take away a toy, remove privileges, all that sort of stuff. If the consequences are consistent, they eventually get it, when they are old enough to put it all together. Unfortunately most of the time grandma is ready to sell them to the highest bidder by the time they "get" those concepts! :)
I didn’t have room for “other.” I agree that grandpa was spot on, but shouldn’t be physical in son’s home no matter how much he wanted to swat him. One swat won’t cure that problem.
As the youngest of 9, I was sometimes spanked for misbehaving. My mother was the disciplinarian, and a spanking was never done in anger. Mostly it was the fear of displeasing my parents than the possibility of punishment that kepe in line. With my own three kids, I didn't find spanking very useful. But I do feel it has it's place.
Raised two kids who really only were physically spanked a couple of times. But they were often picked up so they could be looked at eyeball to eyeball and told they would never do that again. Respect must be taught (and fear doesn’t replace it). But you have to get their attention. I never slapped my kids and disdained people who did— but they never swore at me either. That would tempt me (especially on an airplane)
As with Martha, no room to comment above, but I agree with her. I was raised with the fear of a swat on the rear if I really messed up. I have even given the two granddaughters one or two swats, however, I do question the final outcome of doing so. Grandpa absolutely needed to call this kid out, and perhaps his dad as well, on what respect and appropriate behaviors mean. I do question though what the swat to the rear is teaching a child, if anything, or is it simply a release of anger on the adults part? Having tried discipline both ways I can honestly say that, while apparently effective at the time for getting the child's attention, they will typically still show the behavior over and over again. The swat does nothing to teach the child so we just step up the time out, take away a toy, remove privileges, all that sort of stuff. If the consequences are consistent, they eventually get it, when they are old enough to put it all together. Unfortunately most of the time grandma is ready to sell them to the highest bidder by the time they "get" those concepts! :)
I didn’t have room for “other.” I agree that grandpa was spot on, but shouldn’t be physical in son’s home no matter how much he wanted to swat him. One swat won’t cure that problem.