What should one do if his wife is stolen?

• Wait out the rainy season, then maybe look for her.

• Rescue her, but then shun her on the chance she might've been raped.

• Rescue her, take her home, then banish her once you knock her up.

• Have your magical monkey companion jump over the ocean to find her, but then have him leave her there so you can rescue her the long way.

• Don't chase the bejeweled deer, stupid!