Favorite mortal quote:

• Are you under the impression that family is supposed to make you feel GOOD? Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable, that's why they're family!

• Well look at this: The suite life of Zack and Cass. It's a... never mind.

• Really, at the same time? That sounds... moist.

• I'll take 20 girls for the whole night....Lady, sometimes you gotta live like there's no tomorrow...

• ‘You're not in this story!’ ‘Yeah, well, we're making it up as we go.’