Which of the following is the ACTUAL Phil Ligget quote? (poll 1813157)

...knocking at the door of pain, only to find the owner's off to the South of France on holiday...

...but he's ticking over those pedals now like the wind-up car in a box of Crackerjacks...

...ripping fresh scabs from the road-rash of defeat...

...he's prancing and mincing on those pedals in a most unseemly manner...

...unscrewing the top from the jam-jar of courage...

...dumpster-diving deep into his grab-bag of tricks...

...cracking at the seams like an overripe haggis...

...looks between his legs and sees.....nobody there!

...reaching deep for the churchkey to open up his baked-bean tin of vengance...

..and in this wind, Paul, the peloton is strung out all along the road like Glasgow junkies on Methadone day...

...and here comes the the maillot jaune of the Tour De France looking fresh and unspoiled as Lance Armstrong's in-competition test results...

...inexplicably finds himself riding... sideways...

By attacking so rashly, he's now humping the very leg that kicked him earler...

...clawing back up through the bunch like a spawning salmon...

...but he's coming down the Champs-Élysées now like a wolverine with nipple clamps!

Which of the following is the ACTUAL Phil Ligget quote?