Who's Gonna Call Joe Buck a Cocksucker.com Connoisseur Next?

• Mark Cuban: 5-2 (Mavs millionaire owner is loose cannon; the pick)

• Jerry Jones: 4-1 (if Cuban is Wile E. Coyote, Jones is Yosemite Sam; strong contender)

• Dan Marino: 8-1 (years of pent-up rage stemming from Isotoner endorsement lousy call; looms as possible upset)

• John Elway: 25-1 (rumored to be mulling possible political career as Republican candidate; stranger things have happened)

• Curt Schilling: 50-1 (see Elway; odds doubled in light of off-putting Christian fervor)

• Joe Namath: 10,000-1 (consummate ladies' man; possessed only of smoove '70s bedroom vocab, Broadway Joe would never, no matter how stoked on scotch, say "cocksucker.com")