Best bumper sticker philosophy

• God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the Andes and I had to eat him.

• In case of Rapture... can I have your car?

• The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

• Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run (he hates that).

• I found Jesus! He was under the couch cushions the whole time.

• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

• Sorry I'm late! I was at Satchels!

• My kid can beat up your honor student.

• I break for........................OH SHIT NO BRAKES!

• Very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes.

• I like grapes.

• Other: