How do you want to solve the white asparagus shortage?

• Locate the faulty gene and inject green aliens with a retrovirus which will turn them albino. Call it the "White Plague."

• Stop lying to vegetarians and cease mutilating aliens with their consent.

• Switch entirely to mock asparagus and let the albinos suffer through trip-fall hazards

• Experiment on the albinos until they can regrow their lost appendages

• Don't just take a few off, take them all and silence the victims.