Why in the world would you have allowed the gorilla to escape from our zoo!?!

• He tricked me. He told me that if I opened his cage, he would give me a big hug, and I like hugs.

• I lost a bet. If the Dolphins beat the Jets, he would stop complaining about food quality. If the Jets won, I would let him free.

• I was drunk. Sorry about that.

• Pre-emptive revenge. I heard that you were going to fire me anyway, so I acted while I still could.

• He gave me the sad eyes and I couldn't resist.