Yes, kids will be kids, and parents have a right to dine out. But, I also have the right to a nice, relaxing meal as well. So, we will usually ask to sit in the bar/lounge area (if there is one) or, if not, then as far from the kids as possible. That way we can try to coexist for such a short time.
Spike5 - 14 years ago
I am a parent of two children and now a grandparent of one. I took my children to restaurants from the time they were infants, but I always chose ones that were appropriate settings for their age and ability to behave properly. I brought emergency snacks in case service was slow, asked for crackers as soon as we sat down (hungry children aren't at their best), always carried small toys, books, and crayons (quiet activities), and took the child outside if necessary (rarely). And any time my child wasn't acting properly in a setting where other people might be disturbed--restaurants, stores, whatever--we left immediately, regardless of the inconvenience, if we couldn't get the unacceptable behavior under control.
We all have a right to expect a pleasant dining experience when we are in restaurants, and regardless of the child's special needs, the parents do not have the right to expect the rest of us to pay the price.
I've been on airplanes with screaming restless children, and I find that most of us are very tolerant when it's obvious that the parents are trying very hard to cope. But I've also been on flights were the parents seemed to ignore their child's behavior, letting them kick the seats, run around, and get sticky fingers on nearby people., and that's not acceptable anywhere.
Lance - 14 years ago
There are places that are loud kid friendly places. Parents should just go to those places that best suit their child when taking him/her out to dinner. Save the quiet adult spots for a babysitter night. Having said that, I've rarely had the sort of experience of child disrupting the environment or service in an eatery. See it more often at the grocery store or even department stores. Too often at the latter, parents seem to think that the sales people also have "babysitting" in their job description. What is far more annoying during a dinner out, is the adult at the next table talking loudly on a cell phone.
Al - 14 years ago
I work in the field of human services and find that the majority of parents and individuals (when they are old enough) want to be treated as others and accepted as a valued member of our society. With that said, the question is what would you expect of a parent of a "typically" developing child? I think all would agree that you would either step out with your child until s/he calms or leave the restaurant with doggy bag in hand. Acceptance and respect is a two way street that all parties should abide by.
Steve - 14 years ago
Kids don't bother me at all, Kids are going to scream, it could be because they are happy, or sad, it could be a medical condition, or it could be a kid just being a kid, if this does bother you, go check in to a suit and tie place for adults only. But then I am sure you will have to tolerate the texting and cell phone calls from the adults hahahahaha.
AKchic - 14 years ago
My two oldest boys are ADHD, one with severe emotional problems. I take all four of my boys out to restaurants, but they have rules. They are allowed to bring a book or a toy with them, and they may play quietly until the food arrives. They are to use their table manners while eating. They are not allowed to interrupt the adults while the adults are ordering their food (I have left drive-thrus when my kids try to talk over me during the ordering process), they are not allowed to jump around or play during the actual meal, and they are to use their quiet indoor voices at all times.
It was hard at first, but each child was introduced to restaurant settings at a young age and taught appropriate behavior (we started out at fast food restaurants, then worked our way up).
The kids know my expectations, and they know the consequences of their actions. If they don't behave, depending on what has happened/is happening, we either leave right away (fighting, loudness, not listening and acting up), or they lose out on a movie for the night, or, at one point when the kids wouldn't stop needling each other and sent my emotional one into a melt-down, banning them from future restaurant visits for a specific period of time (we went 6 months on that incident).
We don't go out often, but when we do, my kids are well-behaved. They know that they can control themselves, and must.
Snurfles - 14 years ago
My niece was not a special needs child, she was a normal toddler when we started taking her to restaurants. She misbehaved on one occasion that I can remember. She was removed from the restaurant and disciplined quietly outside for her behavior. There was never a repeat of that behavior. In fact, she became a joy to have with us when we went out. She has blossomed into a wonderful, moral, and caring young woman who is studying to be a doctor. I don't think children should ever be banned from a restaurant, but if the parents of screaming/disruptive children refuse to take action to correct the situation, then I think the restaurant owner has every right to ask the PARENTS not to return (after fair warning, of course). I would expect to do the same with any adult in the restaurant who was being rude or disruptive as well. Emotional and mental disabilities certainly should be considered but bad behavior is bad behavior and should never be tolerated in a restaurant of any kind.
April S - 14 years ago
lets not assume that all children who scream suffer from a disability, unless you consider bad manners a disability. Many parents ignore their children's behavior as if the wait staff is there to be the baby sitter as well as bring the food. There are some restaurants that cater to families with small children - parents with uncontrollable children should frequent those restaurants. The rest will go to the other restaurants. I applaud the owner, now I know where to go next time I am in that city.
Brian from NC - 14 years ago
I'm sure that the majority of voters in this poll don't have children. Why else would so many vote in the negative. Anyone with children understands that children scream sometimes. It is also a parenting issue if someone doesn't take their child who starts screaming, more than is acceptable, outside until they calm down. Some people have said "I'm sorry that they feel mother nature, or god, gave them a bad deal ...", talking about autistic or screaming children. To me they are being just as evil as people who used to put up signs saying "No Colored people allowed", "Whites only", and "No Jews allowed" because "Mother Nature, or God, gave them a bad deal" being born the way the are doesn't mean you can exclude them from your establishment. I will never eat at any eatery that restricts the type of people who can eat there with the exception of "No shirt, no shoes, no service."
Debbie - 14 years ago
I only eat out occasionally, because it is too expensive. Eating in a restaurant is a rare treat for me and my teenage daughter. It is not fair that we should be stressed out by screaming kids, even if it is due to some health disorder. I'd never go back to that restaurant again.
MA - 14 years ago
To Rachel. I have an autistic person in my family AND I voted with the majority. The store owner is talking about ALL kids, regardless of condition. And I agree. A disability is no excuse to the rule. Parents decided to be parents, so they must deal with the consequenses: good, bad, or ugly.
What is the line - 14 years ago
So there are so many factors regarding this issue; type of restaurant, innate child disorder, parents, etc. Why not ban adults as well? Loud cell phone users, drunken behavior, rude adults, even the occasional birthday party when they sing happy birthday to a table. I think what really gets to people is that the word BAN is used when what really should be done is, give the screaming child's parents a polite warning that their kid is being too loud. That is, if the parents haven't already taken measures into their own hands. Banning a screaming child is extreme and in my opinion wrong, but there is nothing wrong with the establishment asking them to do something about a loud or misbehaving child if they are disturbing customers and possibly asking them to leave after given warnings.
tony - 14 years ago
When my son (who has issues) was little and started into a tantrum I took him out of the restaurant and left the others in my party to finish their meals in peace. He and I would walk around and wait for the others to finish. People who do not remove their screaming children from restaurants are simply rude. The fact that the child has issues is no reason to subject others to share in the parents' misery of not being able to enjoy a peaceful meal at a restaurant.
Iris - 14 years ago
When our daughter (no special issues there) was small, if we couldn't quiet her, we wound up with one of us outside with her, and one inside eating, and then switching places so the other could eat. The most infamous of these occasions occurred out-of-town on my birthday, when she was perfectly happy until the food came. It was rainy, and I took her to the car. The restaurant kept my food warm until my husband finished his and came to sit with her in the car.
Part of the issue revolves around the type of restaurant. In McDonald's or Wendy's - as a rule people don't linger that long, though there could be a group having agreed to meet there. If it is a more expensive restaurant, and especially if we were planning a leisurely dinner with friends, I'd be less tolerant. If you're seated next to a table of 12 clearly celebrating an occasion - the screamer needs to be removed, whatever the reason for the screaming.
Sandi k's post demostrates the right mix of care for both child and other patrons.
Sea Witch - 14 years ago
Oh please, this is not discrimination. It is the enjoyment of a meal with family, friends or solo. No one signed up to hear any child or adult behaving inappropriatly...that goes for people talking loudly into their cell phones. People go to restaurants (not fast food joints) to enjoy the dining experience which includes atmosphere, menu and the company you have with you...even if you solo. A little good manners and proper behavior goes a long way when in a public venue. IF you have failed to teach your children good manners in public places, then don't bring them until they have learned to behave properly. If your child begins to act up, quietly have your meal wrapped up, pay your bill and leave...that is what I did when my sons misbehaved and I'll tell you...I only had to leave a restaurant once for them to get the message. Never had a problem with childish bad behavior after that.
JakeF - 14 years ago
Oops, I meant I DO have empathy for others who have family members that need additional guidance or help. (bad editing on my part)
JakeF - 14 years ago
Your fellow restaurant diners are paying for more than a meal. They are paying for the experience of dining at their favorite restaurant. This includes the ambience, the service, the mood, the setting, and of course, the food.
There are more than screaming children that affect the quality of the experience of the meal people spend their hard earned money. The reason for the children screaming is not the issue, the child is affecting the quality of experience for other diners and it negatively impacts the bottom line.
For myself, I've left earlier than I wanted on a few occasions due to distractions (what they were is not important) when dining out. So, instead of having that dessert, cappuccino and perhaps a nice port wine, we've left and not spent as much money, taking it away from the bottom line of the establishment.
This is not just an issue of misbehaved kids. It's one of having respect for others, especially when you're well aware of any issues a member of your party may potentially have. It's not fair to expect others to share your responsibility unless they've given their full and implicit approval. Do I have empathy for those who have family members that need additional guidance or help? Of course not.
Mother of three has a great idea when dining out. In addition to her idea, there are days and times that restaurants aren't as busy. Call ahead and ask what times are best to come in. Let your favorite place know. You'd be surprised on how much they can accommodate when notified in advance. But, please, don't expect your fellow diners to shoulder your responsibilities. They have enough of their own.
My first son was adhd. When we took him out we planned ahead, we'd call a local restaurant, order like we would for take out but told them we'd be eating in. We'd arrive, our meal would be served and there would be no time for our son to get bored and misbehave. I would never inflict my child's bad behavior on other diners. My wants have always been secondary (I do not need to eat out)to other diners. My child is my responsibility. I would not inflict my child inability to control himself on others - its just rude. The parents who pack up their child and leave when misbehavior occurs taking appropriate responsibility for their child and as a diner I'd like to thank them.
sandi k - 14 years ago
We raised a noisy difficult autistic child who loved to eat out (still does--we took her out today) and was capable of behaving appropriately on a good day or hitting neighboring diners on a horrible day. Which day it was going to be was often not predictable beforehand. If things started heading south we would walk in love to our daughter and our fellow diners and exit--sometimes one parent stayed behind to collect food boxes and pay bill and the other headed to the door. Yes we needed a night out but there would be another time. It was not about mom and dad's need--everyone has to be considered. We did not wish to inflict our child's bad day on innocent bystanders. We were not willing to keep our child in a situation she at that moment could not handle. Letting her stay would have taught her that failure to control herself was an option--when she lost control she had to leave.
Karen - 14 years ago
I have a child, tho not a special needs one. When our daugter was small, we NEVER went anywhere but family-friendly restaurants. And even then, if she started to act up, we LEFT. We taught her how to act in restaurants, that they are NOT for crying, yelling, acting out. She did it, she got takken out and spanked, and then we left. I refuse to inflict my child on people in the same manner that I EXPECT them NOT to inflict ill-trained, ill-mannered and unsocialized kids on ME and others. While I empthaize with special needs kids who act out, they absolutely have NO BUSINESS being in an upscale restaurant or anything thing like it if they cannot keep still and quiet.
If a child is not a special needs, there is something WRONG WITH THE PARENTS and they absolutely should be banned from a restaurant.
Dana - 14 years ago
Why do so many parents, especially those of special needs children, have a chip on their shoulder? This woman has probably never been in the restaurant.
I wish more places would take this attitude. They would definitely get my business.
Dan - 14 years ago
I had an 8 year-old foster brother who was emotionally impaired. When he misbehaved in a restaurant he was taken outside, usually screaming at the top of his lungs. My family will try to quiet any of our children if possible but take them outside if needed. It is important for for everyone to have social contact and a social life.
On the other hand, I have been in restaurants where the parents are talking while the children are running around out of control, screaming and yelling, running into chairs, tables, waitstaff, and other patrons. The parents of these children should be asked to leave by the management. If you are ignoring your children while they create an unpleasant atmosphere for the other diners, out you go.
Verbal Kint - 14 years ago
@bob in NY - buddy you're not at f'n La Bernadine or the French Laundry. You're at a freaking cafe in BF Egypt. No its not you're responsability to accomodate a special needs kid. However, pehaps a little empathy with the parent and for the kid might indicate a little common decency on your part. Oh BTW, you don't have a RIGHT to have a quiet meal - or did I miss that clause in the Constitution?
bob in NY - 14 years ago
The children should stay home. As a paying customer, it's not my responsibility to accomodate special needs children. While I have sympathy for their issues and their parents, I have a right to a quiet meal.
I deal with screaming, out of control, misbehaving kids and their clueless parents on my flights. There is no reason I have to tolerate it at any restaurant.
To the majority vote: If you know a kid will scream, no matter the reason, you should stay home.
If you've ever spent any time with these children and families, you would understand that they have needs and desires just like your children and family, and like other families, there are times when dinner at home isn't possible, times like traveling, or after very difficult days. No parent goes into a restaurant expecting their child to scream and make a scene, even parents of autistic children, but these things do happen. Our society in so many ways is about tolerance and acceptance, and those same things should be applied to special needs children and families. Their numbers are growing. These are the times we as a society should show compassion. You never know. The next child to be diagnosed might be yours.
Yes, kids will be kids, and parents have a right to dine out. But, I also have the right to a nice, relaxing meal as well. So, we will usually ask to sit in the bar/lounge area (if there is one) or, if not, then as far from the kids as possible. That way we can try to coexist for such a short time.
I am a parent of two children and now a grandparent of one. I took my children to restaurants from the time they were infants, but I always chose ones that were appropriate settings for their age and ability to behave properly. I brought emergency snacks in case service was slow, asked for crackers as soon as we sat down (hungry children aren't at their best), always carried small toys, books, and crayons (quiet activities), and took the child outside if necessary (rarely). And any time my child wasn't acting properly in a setting where other people might be disturbed--restaurants, stores, whatever--we left immediately, regardless of the inconvenience, if we couldn't get the unacceptable behavior under control.
We all have a right to expect a pleasant dining experience when we are in restaurants, and regardless of the child's special needs, the parents do not have the right to expect the rest of us to pay the price.
I've been on airplanes with screaming restless children, and I find that most of us are very tolerant when it's obvious that the parents are trying very hard to cope. But I've also been on flights were the parents seemed to ignore their child's behavior, letting them kick the seats, run around, and get sticky fingers on nearby people., and that's not acceptable anywhere.
There are places that are loud kid friendly places. Parents should just go to those places that best suit their child when taking him/her out to dinner. Save the quiet adult spots for a babysitter night. Having said that, I've rarely had the sort of experience of child disrupting the environment or service in an eatery. See it more often at the grocery store or even department stores. Too often at the latter, parents seem to think that the sales people also have "babysitting" in their job description. What is far more annoying during a dinner out, is the adult at the next table talking loudly on a cell phone.
I work in the field of human services and find that the majority of parents and individuals (when they are old enough) want to be treated as others and accepted as a valued member of our society. With that said, the question is what would you expect of a parent of a "typically" developing child? I think all would agree that you would either step out with your child until s/he calms or leave the restaurant with doggy bag in hand. Acceptance and respect is a two way street that all parties should abide by.
Kids don't bother me at all, Kids are going to scream, it could be because they are happy, or sad, it could be a medical condition, or it could be a kid just being a kid, if this does bother you, go check in to a suit and tie place for adults only. But then I am sure you will have to tolerate the texting and cell phone calls from the adults hahahahaha.
My two oldest boys are ADHD, one with severe emotional problems. I take all four of my boys out to restaurants, but they have rules. They are allowed to bring a book or a toy with them, and they may play quietly until the food arrives. They are to use their table manners while eating. They are not allowed to interrupt the adults while the adults are ordering their food (I have left drive-thrus when my kids try to talk over me during the ordering process), they are not allowed to jump around or play during the actual meal, and they are to use their quiet indoor voices at all times.
It was hard at first, but each child was introduced to restaurant settings at a young age and taught appropriate behavior (we started out at fast food restaurants, then worked our way up).
The kids know my expectations, and they know the consequences of their actions. If they don't behave, depending on what has happened/is happening, we either leave right away (fighting, loudness, not listening and acting up), or they lose out on a movie for the night, or, at one point when the kids wouldn't stop needling each other and sent my emotional one into a melt-down, banning them from future restaurant visits for a specific period of time (we went 6 months on that incident).
We don't go out often, but when we do, my kids are well-behaved. They know that they can control themselves, and must.
My niece was not a special needs child, she was a normal toddler when we started taking her to restaurants. She misbehaved on one occasion that I can remember. She was removed from the restaurant and disciplined quietly outside for her behavior. There was never a repeat of that behavior. In fact, she became a joy to have with us when we went out. She has blossomed into a wonderful, moral, and caring young woman who is studying to be a doctor. I don't think children should ever be banned from a restaurant, but if the parents of screaming/disruptive children refuse to take action to correct the situation, then I think the restaurant owner has every right to ask the PARENTS not to return (after fair warning, of course). I would expect to do the same with any adult in the restaurant who was being rude or disruptive as well. Emotional and mental disabilities certainly should be considered but bad behavior is bad behavior and should never be tolerated in a restaurant of any kind.
lets not assume that all children who scream suffer from a disability, unless you consider bad manners a disability. Many parents ignore their children's behavior as if the wait staff is there to be the baby sitter as well as bring the food. There are some restaurants that cater to families with small children - parents with uncontrollable children should frequent those restaurants. The rest will go to the other restaurants. I applaud the owner, now I know where to go next time I am in that city.
I'm sure that the majority of voters in this poll don't have children. Why else would so many vote in the negative. Anyone with children understands that children scream sometimes. It is also a parenting issue if someone doesn't take their child who starts screaming, more than is acceptable, outside until they calm down. Some people have said "I'm sorry that they feel mother nature, or god, gave them a bad deal ...", talking about autistic or screaming children. To me they are being just as evil as people who used to put up signs saying "No Colored people allowed", "Whites only", and "No Jews allowed" because "Mother Nature, or God, gave them a bad deal" being born the way the are doesn't mean you can exclude them from your establishment. I will never eat at any eatery that restricts the type of people who can eat there with the exception of "No shirt, no shoes, no service."
I only eat out occasionally, because it is too expensive. Eating in a restaurant is a rare treat for me and my teenage daughter. It is not fair that we should be stressed out by screaming kids, even if it is due to some health disorder. I'd never go back to that restaurant again.
To Rachel. I have an autistic person in my family AND I voted with the majority. The store owner is talking about ALL kids, regardless of condition. And I agree. A disability is no excuse to the rule. Parents decided to be parents, so they must deal with the consequenses: good, bad, or ugly.
So there are so many factors regarding this issue; type of restaurant, innate child disorder, parents, etc. Why not ban adults as well? Loud cell phone users, drunken behavior, rude adults, even the occasional birthday party when they sing happy birthday to a table. I think what really gets to people is that the word BAN is used when what really should be done is, give the screaming child's parents a polite warning that their kid is being too loud. That is, if the parents haven't already taken measures into their own hands. Banning a screaming child is extreme and in my opinion wrong, but there is nothing wrong with the establishment asking them to do something about a loud or misbehaving child if they are disturbing customers and possibly asking them to leave after given warnings.
When my son (who has issues) was little and started into a tantrum I took him out of the restaurant and left the others in my party to finish their meals in peace. He and I would walk around and wait for the others to finish. People who do not remove their screaming children from restaurants are simply rude. The fact that the child has issues is no reason to subject others to share in the parents' misery of not being able to enjoy a peaceful meal at a restaurant.
When our daughter (no special issues there) was small, if we couldn't quiet her, we wound up with one of us outside with her, and one inside eating, and then switching places so the other could eat. The most infamous of these occasions occurred out-of-town on my birthday, when she was perfectly happy until the food came. It was rainy, and I took her to the car. The restaurant kept my food warm until my husband finished his and came to sit with her in the car.
Part of the issue revolves around the type of restaurant. In McDonald's or Wendy's - as a rule people don't linger that long, though there could be a group having agreed to meet there. If it is a more expensive restaurant, and especially if we were planning a leisurely dinner with friends, I'd be less tolerant. If you're seated next to a table of 12 clearly celebrating an occasion - the screamer needs to be removed, whatever the reason for the screaming.
Sandi k's post demostrates the right mix of care for both child and other patrons.
Oh please, this is not discrimination. It is the enjoyment of a meal with family, friends or solo. No one signed up to hear any child or adult behaving inappropriatly...that goes for people talking loudly into their cell phones. People go to restaurants (not fast food joints) to enjoy the dining experience which includes atmosphere, menu and the company you have with you...even if you solo. A little good manners and proper behavior goes a long way when in a public venue. IF you have failed to teach your children good manners in public places, then don't bring them until they have learned to behave properly. If your child begins to act up, quietly have your meal wrapped up, pay your bill and leave...that is what I did when my sons misbehaved and I'll tell you...I only had to leave a restaurant once for them to get the message. Never had a problem with childish bad behavior after that.
Oops, I meant I DO have empathy for others who have family members that need additional guidance or help. (bad editing on my part)
Your fellow restaurant diners are paying for more than a meal. They are paying for the experience of dining at their favorite restaurant. This includes the ambience, the service, the mood, the setting, and of course, the food.
There are more than screaming children that affect the quality of the experience of the meal people spend their hard earned money. The reason for the children screaming is not the issue, the child is affecting the quality of experience for other diners and it negatively impacts the bottom line.
For myself, I've left earlier than I wanted on a few occasions due to distractions (what they were is not important) when dining out. So, instead of having that dessert, cappuccino and perhaps a nice port wine, we've left and not spent as much money, taking it away from the bottom line of the establishment.
This is not just an issue of misbehaved kids. It's one of having respect for others, especially when you're well aware of any issues a member of your party may potentially have. It's not fair to expect others to share your responsibility unless they've given their full and implicit approval. Do I have empathy for those who have family members that need additional guidance or help? Of course not.
Mother of three has a great idea when dining out. In addition to her idea, there are days and times that restaurants aren't as busy. Call ahead and ask what times are best to come in. Let your favorite place know. You'd be surprised on how much they can accommodate when notified in advance. But, please, don't expect your fellow diners to shoulder your responsibilities. They have enough of their own.
My first son was adhd. When we took him out we planned ahead, we'd call a local restaurant, order like we would for take out but told them we'd be eating in. We'd arrive, our meal would be served and there would be no time for our son to get bored and misbehave. I would never inflict my child's bad behavior on other diners. My wants have always been secondary (I do not need to eat out)to other diners. My child is my responsibility. I would not inflict my child inability to control himself on others - its just rude. The parents who pack up their child and leave when misbehavior occurs taking appropriate responsibility for their child and as a diner I'd like to thank them.
We raised a noisy difficult autistic child who loved to eat out (still does--we took her out today) and was capable of behaving appropriately on a good day or hitting neighboring diners on a horrible day. Which day it was going to be was often not predictable beforehand. If things started heading south we would walk in love to our daughter and our fellow diners and exit--sometimes one parent stayed behind to collect food boxes and pay bill and the other headed to the door. Yes we needed a night out but there would be another time. It was not about mom and dad's need--everyone has to be considered. We did not wish to inflict our child's bad day on innocent bystanders. We were not willing to keep our child in a situation she at that moment could not handle. Letting her stay would have taught her that failure to control herself was an option--when she lost control she had to leave.
I have a child, tho not a special needs one. When our daugter was small, we NEVER went anywhere but family-friendly restaurants. And even then, if she started to act up, we LEFT. We taught her how to act in restaurants, that they are NOT for crying, yelling, acting out. She did it, she got takken out and spanked, and then we left. I refuse to inflict my child on people in the same manner that I EXPECT them NOT to inflict ill-trained, ill-mannered and unsocialized kids on ME and others. While I empthaize with special needs kids who act out, they absolutely have NO BUSINESS being in an upscale restaurant or anything thing like it if they cannot keep still and quiet.
If a child is not a special needs, there is something WRONG WITH THE PARENTS and they absolutely should be banned from a restaurant.
Why do so many parents, especially those of special needs children, have a chip on their shoulder? This woman has probably never been in the restaurant.
I wish more places would take this attitude. They would definitely get my business.
I had an 8 year-old foster brother who was emotionally impaired. When he misbehaved in a restaurant he was taken outside, usually screaming at the top of his lungs. My family will try to quiet any of our children if possible but take them outside if needed. It is important for for everyone to have social contact and a social life.
On the other hand, I have been in restaurants where the parents are talking while the children are running around out of control, screaming and yelling, running into chairs, tables, waitstaff, and other patrons. The parents of these children should be asked to leave by the management. If you are ignoring your children while they create an unpleasant atmosphere for the other diners, out you go.
@bob in NY - buddy you're not at f'n La Bernadine or the French Laundry. You're at a freaking cafe in BF Egypt. No its not you're responsability to accomodate a special needs kid. However, pehaps a little empathy with the parent and for the kid might indicate a little common decency on your part. Oh BTW, you don't have a RIGHT to have a quiet meal - or did I miss that clause in the Constitution?
The children should stay home. As a paying customer, it's not my responsibility to accomodate special needs children. While I have sympathy for their issues and their parents, I have a right to a quiet meal.
I deal with screaming, out of control, misbehaving kids and their clueless parents on my flights. There is no reason I have to tolerate it at any restaurant.
To the majority vote: If you know a kid will scream, no matter the reason, you should stay home.
If you've ever spent any time with these children and families, you would understand that they have needs and desires just like your children and family, and like other families, there are times when dinner at home isn't possible, times like traveling, or after very difficult days. No parent goes into a restaurant expecting their child to scream and make a scene, even parents of autistic children, but these things do happen. Our society in so many ways is about tolerance and acceptance, and those same things should be applied to special needs children and families. Their numbers are growing. These are the times we as a society should show compassion. You never know. The next child to be diagnosed might be yours.