Would you turn Richard's first page? Be tough. Comments help the writer.

1 Comment

  • Robert - 14 years ago

    If you're as sick as the protagonist, and you're waking up, you won't notice anything at all but your own feelings of sickness at first. I know from experience, and I have real trouble describing this one. She'll notice the vomit etc as she becomes more alert, but it takes a while. Keep editing, and you'll get there!

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