Have you ever gotten sexual pleasure from an animal?
YES - I am in love with an inflatable sheep named Eunice.
YES - I let my dog lick up any syrup and frosting I happen to spill on my genitals.
YES - I put a live gerbil in my butthole once. My name is Richard Gere.
YES - My barnyard friends and I have grown quite close. I'm like the Dr. Doolittle of animal raping.
YES - Have you ever seen that video of a man being fucked by a horse? Hot.
NO - Unless wool socks, leather jackets, and goose-down pillows count.
NO - Non-consensual sex is wrong, unless its with an inanimate object... like my boyfriend.
NO - I love my pet, but I'm not IN love with pets (anally speaking).
NO - But only because I cannot figure out the best way to flirt with my German Shepherd.
NO - The only animals I like are men and I barely like them as it is.
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