"That's why the water is salty. From the f**king whale sperm."

"Old people lose their sex life. And that's not a fun time. That's why people get divorced."

“I will f*cking attack you like a squirrel monkey.”

"I’m not trashy, unless I drink too much."

"White's in in Miami, isn't it? But what if you get your period? It's ruined."

"Guys are d-bags and I hate them all. They don't know how to deal with women, and I feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country."

"If it's, like, a smush, you gotta put lotion on your butt."

Other: