Dare I presume that participants at IATEFL Glasgow would want to attend a session called the Tao (of) Te(a)Ching?

• Good god, yes! This is what the world of ELT has been waiting for. And you're the one for me, fatty.

• Are you out of your mind, man? Who on God's green earth wants to listen to you oiling your ego with crap jokes and half-arsed tree hugging mysticism?

• Is this the queue for the toilet?