I see no reason why it shouldn't be tax deductible. My husband and I are raising our two young girls (6 years old and 8 years old); both of us have full time jobs and we take care of both of my parents. My father is in assisted living, he has Alzheimers...mid-stage at this point. My mother, who won't leave their home, and is far worse to deal with. She also has "memory issues"...even after all these years she still refuses to admit my father has Alzheimers. She is also an alcoholic. So, I handle all of my father's doctors/dentist appointment. Bring him to our house so he can get out of the "asylum" as he refers to it. Buy groceries for my mom, try to keep the house clean, pick up medicine; do errands...on top of all that make it to school functions, help with homework, birthday parties, and everything else to try to keep the girls lives as normal as possible. All this without missing work or meeting customers out of town, arranging my out of town work with my husbands schedule to make sure someone is home 100% of the time; trade shows. So yeah...it should be deductible--it sure does deduct from my life and from the lives of my children!!! Not trying to sound bitter, but I don't have any help, and after six years straight--I'm just plain worn out.
Trish - 11 years ago
I was forced to retire early which left me less than if I had waited 3 yrs more. :'-(
N Downes - 11 years ago
I willingly closed my small business and gave up my own social life to care for my mom when she was 83 and diagnosed with Alzhiemers. I have never regretted it. Of course there have been difficult times and frustrations for both of us, but the emotional rewards those moments of laughter, and the occasional lucid moments when she acknowledges what I mean to her and her security, are worth it to me. The hardest part of our journey has been my three siblings. They argue in front of mom which upsets her greatly. She may not understand exactly what they are saying but, like any young child, she reacts to facial expressions and tone of voice. As the disease progresses they refuse to visit because she won't "know" them or simply won't remember the conversation. I know from being with her 24/7 that she in deed does remember visits and craves the social interactions, even if the who or what are forgotten. If her conversations are onesided ramblings, it makes her feel acknowledged as a person and socially functional again, even when she is complaining about how hard it is to live with me. :) She gets confused about who is the mother and who is the daughter now but the important thing is she knows I love and care for her. We try to live on her fixed income and I worry about the rising cost of her insurance premiums, perscriptions, and medical needs. Because she and dad both worked hard all they're lives I was able to sell their home (daddy passed years ago) and set up a small trust fund for her lifetime, but we are repeatedly finacially penalized for having it. With pressure from all of us (and the number continues to grow) who are care givers, maybe someday the government will acknowledge our worth in some monetary way. Until then we can't help but continue to love and care for those who loved and cared for us, or any of those we have been blessed enough to be able to care for. More professional care for mom is probably in our future. At that point it will not be only if she wants to move to a facility more capable of caring for her, or even if we can afford it, but if I am ready to let go of her myself. As we all know and say; One day at a time.
Kathryn - 11 years ago
Let us not forget the stress that accompanies caregiving and, therefore, the health of the caregiver. We manage medications and, therefore, trips to the pharmacy, grocery shopping, meal planning and preparation, plus clean up, finances, income tax returns, insurance needs, doctor appointments, care and replacement of medical equipment, bathing, hair and nail care, sometimes home health care visits, clothing, entertainment, transportation, arrangements for final expenses and what seems like an endless need for our time. Everything we do for ourselves, we must do twice. There is not even the pleasure of sitting down for a relaxing cup of coffee or tea without pouring another. Add looking after safety measures in the home, perhaps Sundowner's syndrome, wet beds, spilled milk and sometimes reasoning with dementia and there's simply no time left to care for our own needs. Our health suffers, even with the peace that comes from keeping our loved one out of a nursing home. What we do is worth even more than what a nursing home charges, so an income tax deduction would be a beginning. However, a national awareness program promoting caregiving might help family members and acquaintances understand that every caregiver needs all the help they can get and that dealing with a caregiver is not at all the same as dealing with a person who has time on their hands for their own needs.
WL Fava - 11 years ago
I have been the caregiver for my elderly mother who is now 84 for 23 years. In the last two years, her health has deteriorated significantly due to several strokes and the growth of a benign brain tumor. She lived with me until February of 2012. I spent thousands of dollars on private home health aides to watch her while I was at work. Eventually she ended up in the hospital due to new onset seizures. It became apparent I would no longer be able to manage her at home, so when she left the hospital and went to rehab, I found myself in a desperate search to finding longterm care for her. I was quite shocked when I tried to place my mother in one of the top rated skilled nursing facilities in Maryland and they declined to accept her because she was too medically needy. I had a very little time to place her because the rehab facility scheduled her discharge without notifying me and I had two days for find a facility for my mother. Initially I found a 120 bed assisted living facility to accept her. They charged $5,000 per month and that did not include incontinence supplies or medication fees. The facility itself was very clean and well maintained, but the care was a nightmare and my mother was the victim of medication errors and many falls while she was there. On top of the monthy charges, I was paying for a private aide to stay with my mom for 8 hours a day Monday through Friday to help keep her clean and safe. I took care of my mom every evening after work and on the weekends. I contacted A Place for Mom and they helped me place her in a smaller residential community home which is definitely a better environment for my mother, but it has not made it any easier for me. On top of the base fee of $5,500 per month, I have to pay for all of her incontinence supplies, transportation costs for medical appointments, medications, and a private aide for 4 hours a day to make sure she can get out of bed for a few hours, sit safely without falling, and get fed slowly since she has difficulty swallowing. I spend all of my free time with my mom helping to care for her after work each day and on the weekends. The staff at the assisted living facility where my mother stays is very kind and compassionate, but they just don't have medical skills to manage her safely. I have prevented a number of medication errors since she arrived in September of 2012, which makes me wonder what happens when I am not there. Even yesterday when I went to see her after work, one of the aides was giving my mother a breathing treatment with a nebulizer. She was standing at my mother's bedside holding the mask over my mother's mouth and nose, but never noticed that no steam was being generated so no medication was being delivered to my mother. When I pointed that out to her she said she would tell the nurse that the machine was not working, but before she could leave I discovered the tubing had gotten disconnected from the machine. I reconnected the tubing and I held the mask to give my mother her breathing treatment myself. It would be a welcomed relief to me if the government would allow me to claim my mother as a dependent considering all of the time and money I devote to caring for her. I hope stories like mine will help bring much needed change.
WL Fava - 11 years ago
I have been the caregiver for my elderly mother who is now 84 for 23 years. In the last two years, her health has deteriorated significantly due to several strokes and the growth of a benign brain tumor. She lived with me until February of 2013. I spent thousands of dollars on private home health aides to watch her while I was at work. Eventually she ended up in the hospital due to new onset seizures. It became apparent I would no longer be able to manage her at home, so when she left the hospital and went to rehab, I found myself in a desperate search to finding longterm care for her. I was quite shocked when I tried to place my mother in one of the top rated skilled nursing facilities in Maryland and they declined to accept her because she was too medically needy. I had a very little time to place her because the rehab facility scheduled her discharge without notifying me and I had two days for find a facility for my mother. Initially I found a 120 bed assisted living facility to accept her. They charged $5,000 per month and that did not include incontinence supplies or medication fees. The facility itself was very clean and well maintained, but the care was a nightmare and my mother was the victim of medication errors and many falls while she was there. On top of the monthy charges, I was paying for a private aide to stay with my mom for 8 hours a day Monday through Friday to help keep her clean and safe. I took care of my mom every evening after work and on the weekends. I contacted A Place for Mom and they helped me place her in a smaller residential community home which is definitely a better environment for my mother, but it has not made it any easier for me. On top of the base fee of $5,500 per month, I have to pay for all of her incontinence supplies, transportation costs for medical appointments, medications, and a private aide for 4 hours a day to make sure she can get out of bed for a few hours, sit safely without falling, and get fed slowly since she has difficulty swallowing. I spend all of my free time with my mom helping to care for her after work each day and on the weekends. The staff at the assisted living facility where my mother stays is very kind and compassionate, but they just don't have medical skills to manage her safely. I have prevented a number of medication errors since she arrived in September of 2012, which makes me wonder what happens when I am not there. Even yesterday when I went to see her after work, one of the aides was giving my mother a breathing treatment with a nebulizer. She was standing at my mother's bedside holding the mask over my mother's mouth and nose, but never noticed that no steam was being generated so no medication was being delivered to my mother. When I pointed that out to her she said she would tell the nurse that the machine was not working, but before she could leave I discovered the tubing had gotten disconnected from the machine. I reconnected the tubing and I held the mask to give my mother her breathing treatment myself. It would be a welcomed relief to me if the government would allow me to claim my mother as a dependent considering all of the time and money I devote to caring for her. I hope stories like mine will help bring much needed change.
I have totally devoted my time an efforts to my 90 year old (totally handicap) mother; who, insist on remaining in her senior citizen apartment. Nevertheless, this has really been a hassle juggling time between her needs and the needs of a husband, and three children. My family has suffered, financially due to this full time obligaion which I do not get paid for: Also, they have suffered physically (husband), domestically, and the children with their education.
Ofcourse, you do not expect to get paid fully for the love and time that you dedicate to your mom or dad, but when it causes you to suffer in your home, there should be some sort of payment or tax break. Especially, when you are alleviating financial burden from the government. And, especially, when your love one's insurance company (that they have money deducted from their pension every month) gets away with not helping with the payments by saying, "oh, that condition is not medically condusive in the terms in which we compensate for payment." Evidently, the person must be near death. Bathing, treating bed sores, lifting, changing diapers, cooking, grocery shopping, purchasing things for personal hygine, administrating medication, paying bills, handling bank accounts, making and taking one to his/her doctor appointments, advocating with doctors, and insurance companies, and most of all trying to exercise the mind, soul, and body of your love one to make them feel socially needed, acceptable, and wanated is not worth a dime. "We may as well throw them in a nursing home to die early. Put the full bill on the government. Right!"
This is a very exhausting and struggling situation that we continue to get up and do "one day at a time." We just pray for strength. The government has it backwards. People who try to keep their love ones off of the system should be compensated with a small salary so their house hould will not suffer. Instead of giving all of the "astronomical monies" that go into "low rated" nursing facilities that do not love or really feed into the "soul and emotional needs of a love one." Oh, not to mention on a yearly basis the law sues that are submitted towards these flawed nursing facilities.
But that is another flaw into our "non-functional government system." Until "you and I change it." Good luck!
I see no reason why it shouldn't be tax deductible. My husband and I are raising our two young girls (6 years old and 8 years old); both of us have full time jobs and we take care of both of my parents. My father is in assisted living, he has Alzheimers...mid-stage at this point. My mother, who won't leave their home, and is far worse to deal with. She also has "memory issues"...even after all these years she still refuses to admit my father has Alzheimers. She is also an alcoholic. So, I handle all of my father's doctors/dentist appointment. Bring him to our house so he can get out of the "asylum" as he refers to it. Buy groceries for my mom, try to keep the house clean, pick up medicine; do errands...on top of all that make it to school functions, help with homework, birthday parties, and everything else to try to keep the girls lives as normal as possible. All this without missing work or meeting customers out of town, arranging my out of town work with my husbands schedule to make sure someone is home 100% of the time; trade shows. So yeah...it should be deductible--it sure does deduct from my life and from the lives of my children!!! Not trying to sound bitter, but I don't have any help, and after six years straight--I'm just plain worn out.
I was forced to retire early which left me less than if I had waited 3 yrs more. :'-(
I willingly closed my small business and gave up my own social life to care for my mom when she was 83 and diagnosed with Alzhiemers. I have never regretted it. Of course there have been difficult times and frustrations for both of us, but the emotional rewards those moments of laughter, and the occasional lucid moments when she acknowledges what I mean to her and her security, are worth it to me. The hardest part of our journey has been my three siblings. They argue in front of mom which upsets her greatly. She may not understand exactly what they are saying but, like any young child, she reacts to facial expressions and tone of voice. As the disease progresses they refuse to visit because she won't "know" them or simply won't remember the conversation. I know from being with her 24/7 that she in deed does remember visits and craves the social interactions, even if the who or what are forgotten. If her conversations are onesided ramblings, it makes her feel acknowledged as a person and socially functional again, even when she is complaining about how hard it is to live with me. :) She gets confused about who is the mother and who is the daughter now but the important thing is she knows I love and care for her. We try to live on her fixed income and I worry about the rising cost of her insurance premiums, perscriptions, and medical needs. Because she and dad both worked hard all they're lives I was able to sell their home (daddy passed years ago) and set up a small trust fund for her lifetime, but we are repeatedly finacially penalized for having it. With pressure from all of us (and the number continues to grow) who are care givers, maybe someday the government will acknowledge our worth in some monetary way. Until then we can't help but continue to love and care for those who loved and cared for us, or any of those we have been blessed enough to be able to care for. More professional care for mom is probably in our future. At that point it will not be only if she wants to move to a facility more capable of caring for her, or even if we can afford it, but if I am ready to let go of her myself. As we all know and say; One day at a time.
Let us not forget the stress that accompanies caregiving and, therefore, the health of the caregiver. We manage medications and, therefore, trips to the pharmacy, grocery shopping, meal planning and preparation, plus clean up, finances, income tax returns, insurance needs, doctor appointments, care and replacement of medical equipment, bathing, hair and nail care, sometimes home health care visits, clothing, entertainment, transportation, arrangements for final expenses and what seems like an endless need for our time. Everything we do for ourselves, we must do twice. There is not even the pleasure of sitting down for a relaxing cup of coffee or tea without pouring another. Add looking after safety measures in the home, perhaps Sundowner's syndrome, wet beds, spilled milk and sometimes reasoning with dementia and there's simply no time left to care for our own needs. Our health suffers, even with the peace that comes from keeping our loved one out of a nursing home. What we do is worth even more than what a nursing home charges, so an income tax deduction would be a beginning. However, a national awareness program promoting caregiving might help family members and acquaintances understand that every caregiver needs all the help they can get and that dealing with a caregiver is not at all the same as dealing with a person who has time on their hands for their own needs.
I have been the caregiver for my elderly mother who is now 84 for 23 years. In the last two years, her health has deteriorated significantly due to several strokes and the growth of a benign brain tumor. She lived with me until February of 2012. I spent thousands of dollars on private home health aides to watch her while I was at work. Eventually she ended up in the hospital due to new onset seizures. It became apparent I would no longer be able to manage her at home, so when she left the hospital and went to rehab, I found myself in a desperate search to finding longterm care for her. I was quite shocked when I tried to place my mother in one of the top rated skilled nursing facilities in Maryland and they declined to accept her because she was too medically needy. I had a very little time to place her because the rehab facility scheduled her discharge without notifying me and I had two days for find a facility for my mother. Initially I found a 120 bed assisted living facility to accept her. They charged $5,000 per month and that did not include incontinence supplies or medication fees. The facility itself was very clean and well maintained, but the care was a nightmare and my mother was the victim of medication errors and many falls while she was there. On top of the monthy charges, I was paying for a private aide to stay with my mom for 8 hours a day Monday through Friday to help keep her clean and safe. I took care of my mom every evening after work and on the weekends. I contacted A Place for Mom and they helped me place her in a smaller residential community home which is definitely a better environment for my mother, but it has not made it any easier for me. On top of the base fee of $5,500 per month, I have to pay for all of her incontinence supplies, transportation costs for medical appointments, medications, and a private aide for 4 hours a day to make sure she can get out of bed for a few hours, sit safely without falling, and get fed slowly since she has difficulty swallowing. I spend all of my free time with my mom helping to care for her after work each day and on the weekends. The staff at the assisted living facility where my mother stays is very kind and compassionate, but they just don't have medical skills to manage her safely. I have prevented a number of medication errors since she arrived in September of 2012, which makes me wonder what happens when I am not there. Even yesterday when I went to see her after work, one of the aides was giving my mother a breathing treatment with a nebulizer. She was standing at my mother's bedside holding the mask over my mother's mouth and nose, but never noticed that no steam was being generated so no medication was being delivered to my mother. When I pointed that out to her she said she would tell the nurse that the machine was not working, but before she could leave I discovered the tubing had gotten disconnected from the machine. I reconnected the tubing and I held the mask to give my mother her breathing treatment myself. It would be a welcomed relief to me if the government would allow me to claim my mother as a dependent considering all of the time and money I devote to caring for her. I hope stories like mine will help bring much needed change.
I have been the caregiver for my elderly mother who is now 84 for 23 years. In the last two years, her health has deteriorated significantly due to several strokes and the growth of a benign brain tumor. She lived with me until February of 2013. I spent thousands of dollars on private home health aides to watch her while I was at work. Eventually she ended up in the hospital due to new onset seizures. It became apparent I would no longer be able to manage her at home, so when she left the hospital and went to rehab, I found myself in a desperate search to finding longterm care for her. I was quite shocked when I tried to place my mother in one of the top rated skilled nursing facilities in Maryland and they declined to accept her because she was too medically needy. I had a very little time to place her because the rehab facility scheduled her discharge without notifying me and I had two days for find a facility for my mother. Initially I found a 120 bed assisted living facility to accept her. They charged $5,000 per month and that did not include incontinence supplies or medication fees. The facility itself was very clean and well maintained, but the care was a nightmare and my mother was the victim of medication errors and many falls while she was there. On top of the monthy charges, I was paying for a private aide to stay with my mom for 8 hours a day Monday through Friday to help keep her clean and safe. I took care of my mom every evening after work and on the weekends. I contacted A Place for Mom and they helped me place her in a smaller residential community home which is definitely a better environment for my mother, but it has not made it any easier for me. On top of the base fee of $5,500 per month, I have to pay for all of her incontinence supplies, transportation costs for medical appointments, medications, and a private aide for 4 hours a day to make sure she can get out of bed for a few hours, sit safely without falling, and get fed slowly since she has difficulty swallowing. I spend all of my free time with my mom helping to care for her after work each day and on the weekends. The staff at the assisted living facility where my mother stays is very kind and compassionate, but they just don't have medical skills to manage her safely. I have prevented a number of medication errors since she arrived in September of 2012, which makes me wonder what happens when I am not there. Even yesterday when I went to see her after work, one of the aides was giving my mother a breathing treatment with a nebulizer. She was standing at my mother's bedside holding the mask over my mother's mouth and nose, but never noticed that no steam was being generated so no medication was being delivered to my mother. When I pointed that out to her she said she would tell the nurse that the machine was not working, but before she could leave I discovered the tubing had gotten disconnected from the machine. I reconnected the tubing and I held the mask to give my mother her breathing treatment myself. It would be a welcomed relief to me if the government would allow me to claim my mother as a dependent considering all of the time and money I devote to caring for her. I hope stories like mine will help bring much needed change.
I have totally devoted my time an efforts to my 90 year old (totally handicap) mother; who, insist on remaining in her senior citizen apartment. Nevertheless, this has really been a hassle juggling time between her needs and the needs of a husband, and three children. My family has suffered, financially due to this full time obligaion which I do not get paid for: Also, they have suffered physically (husband), domestically, and the children with their education.
Ofcourse, you do not expect to get paid fully for the love and time that you dedicate to your mom or dad, but when it causes you to suffer in your home, there should be some sort of payment or tax break. Especially, when you are alleviating financial burden from the government. And, especially, when your love one's insurance company (that they have money deducted from their pension every month) gets away with not helping with the payments by saying, "oh, that condition is not medically condusive in the terms in which we compensate for payment." Evidently, the person must be near death. Bathing, treating bed sores, lifting, changing diapers, cooking, grocery shopping, purchasing things for personal hygine, administrating medication, paying bills, handling bank accounts, making and taking one to his/her doctor appointments, advocating with doctors, and insurance companies, and most of all trying to exercise the mind, soul, and body of your love one to make them feel socially needed, acceptable, and wanated is not worth a dime. "We may as well throw them in a nursing home to die early. Put the full bill on the government. Right!"
This is a very exhausting and struggling situation that we continue to get up and do "one day at a time." We just pray for strength. The government has it backwards. People who try to keep their love ones off of the system should be compensated with a small salary so their house hould will not suffer. Instead of giving all of the "astronomical monies" that go into "low rated" nursing facilities that do not love or really feed into the "soul and emotional needs of a love one." Oh, not to mention on a yearly basis the law sues that are submitted towards these flawed nursing facilities.
But that is another flaw into our "non-functional government system." Until "you and I change it." Good luck!