If you were a D&D class in real life, what would you be?

• Fighter: I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum.

• Cleric: If I like you, I will heal you. If I don't, I will allow you the honor of bleeding to death all over my shoes. Thanks be to God.

• Rogue: If I can't see you, you can't see me. Really.

• Mage: You've underestimated my ability to pwn you, noob. Now leave me to my books.

• Barbarian: ARRRGH! HULK SMASH! Mmmm...meat is good.

• Paladin: Help the ones you can help, smite the ones you can't.

• Monk: I know 1,042 ways to kill you with my pinky, but I'd rather contemplate my existence if it's all the same to you.

• Bard: Has anyone seen my Ritalin? I lost it in the last bar fight. Oh well, off to welding class.

• Druid: Defile the earth and I will roast you alive. Recycle and we're cool, bro.