How will Americans deal with the skyrocketing price of a gallon of gas?
High-speed rail service from your house to the Dollar General on the corner
A new chemical process that removes poor people from public transportation
Dustin Hoffman and Robert DeNiro orchestrate a sudden, unprovoked terrorist act by Iran, also starring Anne Heche
Tell Fartbama to get off his ass and pull a gun on The Oil Man
Controls that fix the price of a gallon of gas at one-thousandth of what an ExxonMobil executive pays for dinner at LeCirque
Just pretend it's the '70s again and take our limos to Studio 54, you jive turkey
Hybrid pickup truck powered by hateful thoughts about blacks, Mexicans, and women
President dresses in a tux like James Bond, plays one hand of baccarat against King Abdullah for Saudi Arabia's oil reserves
The new Chevy Seamus, which runs on terrified shit coming from the dog built into the roof
Three words: tweaker hamster wheels
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