What do you think NFL players are up to in the offseason? (poll 6091611)

What do you think NFL players are up to in the offseason?

Peyton Manning: Rubbing aborted fetuses all over his neck and shoulder every chance he gets

Sean Payton: Paying some guy in the Taco Bell parking lot a C-note to "take out" whoever's holding up the drive-thru

Jacksonville Jaguars: Flying to Los Angeles to scope out, um, Disneyland

Mark Sanchez: Repainting the "Vadgie Van" as "Jesus Outreach Youth Ministries"

New England Patriots: Practicing only five days a week instead of six

Tony Gonzalez: Legally changing his name to Tony Eighty-Eight

Carolina Panthers: Preparing to secede from the NFL and form the Confederate White Killball League

Eli Manning: Trying to keep his ball out of that grumpy Old Man Belichick's yard

Michael Vick: Working with a secret team of doctors to become better than he was before. Better. Stronger. Faster

Tim Tebow: Nervously pacing up and down the Hudson River

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