What would America's "founding fathers" say if they returned today? (poll 6154215)

What would America's "founding fathers" say if they returned today?

"Madam, I did not fight in the Revolution only to wait half a fortnight for cop-killing bullets."

"Why art everyone stout?"

"Clearly, the addition of the Ferguson woman has destroyed the Black Eyed Peas' unique minstrelsy."

"Identification is required for ale? Why, this goes against everything I and my fellow Masons stand for."

"President Biden's manservant is rather uppity, I must say."

"It seems unusually humid here in the future, even for late April."

"Regis! You old bastard! How's it hanging?"

"The internet is a wondrous and mighty invention for gazing upon whores at play."

"The Spaniards have invaded and are building fortifications! They have massed outside some sort of depot."

"What? Literally? GENESIS?"

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