Why should Americans vote Mitt Romney for President?
No more of that insane, trees growing out of control shit in the jungles of Washington DC
Before this decade is out, we will send an experimental animal to Mars, strapped to the top of a rocket
To defeat smug East Coast Ivy League moderates, you have to be a smug East Coast Ivy League moderate
Romney's skin tone is very much like that of every boss who's ever fired you, making him good for the economy
Proof that the sons of Detroit auto executives can still make something of themselves in this country
Will create jobs all across America by bringing every major city the Fatass Olympics
For a native of Michigan, he's remarkably well-spoken
We can fool him into thinking he should cut the minimum wage back to only $100 an hour
That mild-mannered Boy Scout demeanor is just a clever disguise; he's actually been sent from Krypton to fight the never-ending battle for Citigroup's financial interests
If he has to, he can provide a certificate proving he was actually born
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