As a caterer I have dealt with these issues from time to time. First of all, this is just one meal in a person's entire life. Nobody is going to drop dead because they went an entire six hours without meat, dairy, or whatever. People with severe food allergies (nuts, etc.) have to be aware of their surroundings and ask the staff questions about the menu anytime they eat outside their own home, so that issue does not apply to this debate in my opinion. So, as for the issue specifically of veganism, I counsel my clients that it is important to have tasty food that people will enjoy and not make it too off the wall, otherwise you will scare away friends and family that may simply not understand your lifestyle choice. Do you have to make an advance political/social statement that "this will be a vegan event" or can you simply serve a buffet of great appetizers, salads etc that do not include any animal products, followed by a rice or pasta dish and fabulous grilled portobello mushrooms with caramelized onions?
PS - I am a dedicated carnivore and also the executive chef of a vegan restaurant. My job is to cook tasty food to please my customers and I don't particularly care what is in my market basket at the beginning as long as I can be proud of the product that goes on the plate at the end.
Kat - 12 years ago
I'd attend, but I'd have to request that they give me and my husband extra rolls and risotto, due to the fact that I am allergic to peanuts. (If my husband eats peanuts, he cannot kiss me, it could kill me.) I hope they considered food allergies when planning their menu!
sp - 12 years ago
A public event, even one that is being paid for by you/ your parents/ in-laws/ significant other is not the time to push your [insert whatever dietary choice: vegan, all meat, vegetarian, gluten free, high fat, whatever] agenda over on all of your guests. There should at least be an option for the guests who aren't vegan. Just as the couple doesn't eat meat, everyone else at the wedding doesn't eat vegan/ gluten free food. Just because the couple likes it/ thinks it is delicious and wants everyone to try it doesn't mean they need to FORCE the guests to eat it at the reception by not having any alternatives. The food will be wasted because the guests will just pick over it or not try it at all. That is wasting the bride/groom's money big time and also will make the guests feel rude for not eating it and having so much left over. Some might like it but it's really insensitive to the majority of the U.S. population who are omnivorous. Choices are always better or else people feel as if they're being treated like children. Dinner parties always have choices as well as restaurants, even weddings where meat is being served usually have a vegetarian dish for those who don't eat meat. Why choose a wedding to force the vegan agenda? Incredibly insensitive in my opinion. I believe everyone will end up eating before/ after the reception but it won't stop them from coming and celebrating what's really important, THE LOVE AND WONDERFUL COUPLE!! CONGRATULATIONS AND HAVE A LOVELY LIFE!!
Leah - 12 years ago
I hope "Honey-Melon" is a type of melon and not honey AND melon... Honey is not vegan.
nas - 12 years ago
if you go to a wedding only for the food, shame on you - I've been to weddings with only cake, nuts, mints & punch & it was great
sarah beth - 12 years ago
I'm vegan and I don't go to meat-centric events expecting my diet to be catered to. Last weekend my friend had a bbq to celebrate his graduation. I brought my own food. I have been to countless weddings where there was nothing for me to eat. I enjoyed celebrating with the happy couple and then ate somewhere else. Suck it up.
Audrey - 12 years ago
This really depends on a person's empathy. If a guest can empathize with the bride and groom, they would be fine with whatever dish offered--and just grab something elsewhere, like suggested in the above comments. If a guest cannot empathize with the bride & groom and doesn't like the dish options given, then they would consider it rude. On that note, a good bride & groom would be empathetic enough themselves to offer choices to their guests. Hopefully the couple described in the article had at least 2 vegan dishes.
S. Garland - 12 years ago
It is their wedding, their money, and their event. If they want to have different food than you are accustomed then eat before or after or bring a snack or candy bar and wait until after. If they do not want their reception to be a time of drunken revelry then no alcohol is fine. Getting smashed is passe and disrespectful at a wedding. You and your dietary restrictions is not what the bride and groom should be worried about anyway. You are one person among many so don't impose your peculiarities on everyone. It is all about them not about you. Unless you are a narcissist?
Fellip Montag - 12 years ago
So the way I see it, if they changed it up and instead of refusing to serve meat, they refused to serve booze, it would be a short wedding (although I wouldn't say a thing about it). If the food sucks, it sucks, whether we are talking about vegan, over-cooked, dry, etc. Drink a ton, duck out to McDonalds, return satisfied, then drink more. The point, enjoy it and act like a guest. You should be honored to be invited and if you have any idea that you have a say in what is served is narcissistic.
pohakulua - 12 years ago
I would attend the wedding and Opt to eat somewhere else if the food was not to my liking.
Just because it is vegan does not mean it is terrible tasting I might even like it but no promises.
Amm - 12 years ago
I find that having ONLY vegetarian/vegan/gluten free options to be incredibly insensitive, because my mother has an extreme soy/nut allergy and has anemia. Imposing such dietary restrictions on her seriously cuts down the amount of food she can eat without dying, and will still mess with her health because she can't get protein/iron from the food there.
Couples should request that all guests inform them of any allergies, or religious/belief based dietary restrictions prior to picking the food. Then they should work to accommodate that. I would never serve an all-meat meal to a vegan, and I would HOPE that the vegan would have the same curtsy to work with my mother's dietary restrictions.
TL - 12 years ago
I am gluten free and we went to a wedding where there was nothing I could eat.
We had a great time and stopped at a diner on the way home
S - 12 years ago
My matron of honor would have checked the "terribly rude" option here. She tried to browbeat me into having meat at my wedding -- if not for everyone, then special-order one chicken dish for her "meat-and-potatoes" husband.
Funny, I think it's "terribly rude" to criticize the bride and groom's choice of food they serve at their own event that they are paying for. You can live a few hours without meat.
Steve Lane - 12 years ago
The food sounds good - hopefully they're o.k. with alcohol! Just kidding. I would try their food, eat what I liked, pick at the stuff I didn't, then ask the wife if we could stop for a double cheese and bacon burger and heifer supplied milk shake on the way home.
Cassie Sweeney - 12 years ago
I agree with Jenny. If you have an issue with what is served don't eat it and eat before or later. They are the ones dishing out the money to pay for the food, not you. If they want to have nothing but taco bell... heck let them. It's their day and can do what ever they please.
jenny cooper - 12 years ago
I'm not vegan, but I don't think you really get to have an opinion about what other people serve at their wedding. As long as you're not allergic, just shut up and eat it or go hungry. It would be selfish to ask them to serve something that they can't eat, or especially that goes against their beliefs.
As a caterer I have dealt with these issues from time to time. First of all, this is just one meal in a person's entire life. Nobody is going to drop dead because they went an entire six hours without meat, dairy, or whatever. People with severe food allergies (nuts, etc.) have to be aware of their surroundings and ask the staff questions about the menu anytime they eat outside their own home, so that issue does not apply to this debate in my opinion. So, as for the issue specifically of veganism, I counsel my clients that it is important to have tasty food that people will enjoy and not make it too off the wall, otherwise you will scare away friends and family that may simply not understand your lifestyle choice. Do you have to make an advance political/social statement that "this will be a vegan event" or can you simply serve a buffet of great appetizers, salads etc that do not include any animal products, followed by a rice or pasta dish and fabulous grilled portobello mushrooms with caramelized onions?
PS - I am a dedicated carnivore and also the executive chef of a vegan restaurant. My job is to cook tasty food to please my customers and I don't particularly care what is in my market basket at the beginning as long as I can be proud of the product that goes on the plate at the end.
I'd attend, but I'd have to request that they give me and my husband extra rolls and risotto, due to the fact that I am allergic to peanuts. (If my husband eats peanuts, he cannot kiss me, it could kill me.) I hope they considered food allergies when planning their menu!
A public event, even one that is being paid for by you/ your parents/ in-laws/ significant other is not the time to push your [insert whatever dietary choice: vegan, all meat, vegetarian, gluten free, high fat, whatever] agenda over on all of your guests. There should at least be an option for the guests who aren't vegan. Just as the couple doesn't eat meat, everyone else at the wedding doesn't eat vegan/ gluten free food. Just because the couple likes it/ thinks it is delicious and wants everyone to try it doesn't mean they need to FORCE the guests to eat it at the reception by not having any alternatives. The food will be wasted because the guests will just pick over it or not try it at all. That is wasting the bride/groom's money big time and also will make the guests feel rude for not eating it and having so much left over. Some might like it but it's really insensitive to the majority of the U.S. population who are omnivorous. Choices are always better or else people feel as if they're being treated like children. Dinner parties always have choices as well as restaurants, even weddings where meat is being served usually have a vegetarian dish for those who don't eat meat. Why choose a wedding to force the vegan agenda? Incredibly insensitive in my opinion. I believe everyone will end up eating before/ after the reception but it won't stop them from coming and celebrating what's really important, THE LOVE AND WONDERFUL COUPLE!! CONGRATULATIONS AND HAVE A LOVELY LIFE!!
I hope "Honey-Melon" is a type of melon and not honey AND melon... Honey is not vegan.
if you go to a wedding only for the food, shame on you - I've been to weddings with only cake, nuts, mints & punch & it was great
I'm vegan and I don't go to meat-centric events expecting my diet to be catered to. Last weekend my friend had a bbq to celebrate his graduation. I brought my own food. I have been to countless weddings where there was nothing for me to eat. I enjoyed celebrating with the happy couple and then ate somewhere else. Suck it up.
This really depends on a person's empathy. If a guest can empathize with the bride and groom, they would be fine with whatever dish offered--and just grab something elsewhere, like suggested in the above comments. If a guest cannot empathize with the bride & groom and doesn't like the dish options given, then they would consider it rude. On that note, a good bride & groom would be empathetic enough themselves to offer choices to their guests. Hopefully the couple described in the article had at least 2 vegan dishes.
It is their wedding, their money, and their event. If they want to have different food than you are accustomed then eat before or after or bring a snack or candy bar and wait until after. If they do not want their reception to be a time of drunken revelry then no alcohol is fine. Getting smashed is passe and disrespectful at a wedding. You and your dietary restrictions is not what the bride and groom should be worried about anyway. You are one person among many so don't impose your peculiarities on everyone. It is all about them not about you. Unless you are a narcissist?
So the way I see it, if they changed it up and instead of refusing to serve meat, they refused to serve booze, it would be a short wedding (although I wouldn't say a thing about it). If the food sucks, it sucks, whether we are talking about vegan, over-cooked, dry, etc. Drink a ton, duck out to McDonalds, return satisfied, then drink more. The point, enjoy it and act like a guest. You should be honored to be invited and if you have any idea that you have a say in what is served is narcissistic.
I would attend the wedding and Opt to eat somewhere else if the food was not to my liking.
Just because it is vegan does not mean it is terrible tasting I might even like it but no promises.
I find that having ONLY vegetarian/vegan/gluten free options to be incredibly insensitive, because my mother has an extreme soy/nut allergy and has anemia. Imposing such dietary restrictions on her seriously cuts down the amount of food she can eat without dying, and will still mess with her health because she can't get protein/iron from the food there.
Couples should request that all guests inform them of any allergies, or religious/belief based dietary restrictions prior to picking the food. Then they should work to accommodate that. I would never serve an all-meat meal to a vegan, and I would HOPE that the vegan would have the same curtsy to work with my mother's dietary restrictions.
I am gluten free and we went to a wedding where there was nothing I could eat.
We had a great time and stopped at a diner on the way home
My matron of honor would have checked the "terribly rude" option here. She tried to browbeat me into having meat at my wedding -- if not for everyone, then special-order one chicken dish for her "meat-and-potatoes" husband.
Funny, I think it's "terribly rude" to criticize the bride and groom's choice of food they serve at their own event that they are paying for. You can live a few hours without meat.
The food sounds good - hopefully they're o.k. with alcohol! Just kidding. I would try their food, eat what I liked, pick at the stuff I didn't, then ask the wife if we could stop for a double cheese and bacon burger and heifer supplied milk shake on the way home.
I agree with Jenny. If you have an issue with what is served don't eat it and eat before or later. They are the ones dishing out the money to pay for the food, not you. If they want to have nothing but taco bell... heck let them. It's their day and can do what ever they please.
I'm not vegan, but I don't think you really get to have an opinion about what other people serve at their wedding. As long as you're not allergic, just shut up and eat it or go hungry. It would be selfish to ask them to serve something that they can't eat, or especially that goes against their beliefs.