I would definitely like to read more... this felt like the opening chapter of a novel and left me wanting to know more!
Jill - 12 years ago
Very Good! I would love to see this story expanded! Put me on the "will read" list if you decide to turn it into a novel!
Jeffrey Carr - 12 years ago
Nice story.
I agree that the protagonist was a bit hard to sympathize with. Of course that could be taken advantage as the beginning of a character transformation for a novel based story. Could work it like Clint Eastwood's "Grand Torino" On the other hand, it does provide motivation for the character to cause change in something that has gone too far. All things in moderation, eh?
While I am not a physicist, the car battery concept to power his time travel machine jolted my suspension of disbelief needed for the story. I'm sure it didn't help that I'd recently watched a Stephen Hawking episode on Netflix on the very topic of Time Travel. I would expect something with more oomph to power his device to keep me from questioning this bit.
I do enjoy Michael's works so far. Undecided if I would read a novelized version. I'm not a big fan of Time Travel. Rare occasional episodes I've found appealing, but few and far between. Something irks me about it, but that's my own personality flaw.
In the end, do what feels right. If you like the story write it. Write a good story and your readers will come. They might not be the same readers as you have for the "Riyria" but a good story will bring readers to it.
Nonetheless, keep on writing!
Tej Dyal - 12 years ago
This was a great short. Loved it. Very thought provoking and well written in a way that readers can relate or disagree with some or all different trains of thoughts from the protoganist and the world he time travels to.
Id be in favour of a novel covering the concepts and expanding on it. I suspect the protagonist in this short was unlikeable for most readers though. Perfect protagonist for this short but not for a novel, you might like to consider more than one main protagonist for contrasting characters and relayionships, and being a novel you would obviously introduce some kind of adventure/thriller element.
More short stories from you would pique my interest, I like your writing style.
I have to agree with some of the previous commenters: I don't like Dan. As a short, this works for me. But as a longer novel, he's either got to change his attitude or this short would be more like a prologue and we get to follow along with the future humans instead, and learn of their troubles (surely, they have some, right?).
Good luck with what ever you decide. :)
Katie - 12 years ago
The short was ok. I had a hard time connecting with the main character. FYI I am not much of a scifi fan so that potentially clouds my viewpoint. If you decide to write a full novel I'll probably still read it bc it's you however the selfish me would rather have another fantasy novel.
Katie - 12 years ago
The short was ok. I had a hard time connecting with the main character. FYI I am not much of a scifi fan so that potentially clouds my viewpoint. If you decide to write a full novel I'll probably still read it bc it's you however the selfish me would rather have another fantasy novel.
Vince - 12 years ago
I have loved everything you have written and consider the Riyria series some of the best and very deserving of the six spots they occupy in my bookcase. Greener Grass SHOULD be right next to them; a place of reverence. Your words are powerfully done, don't change. You are climbing the ladder to a great place. Yes, please write the novel.
Fayley - 12 years ago
I need to like the main character to enjoy a story, so I couldn't enjoy this. A man who reads "scientist" magazine with enough scientific understanding to build a time machine, yet he says "so-called global warming"? Ever met a far right anti socialist bible bashing patriotic SCIENTIST? A short story. Ant have any holes. Good idea though. I could read more of your short stories or full novels but I would need you to exert as much care in character as you put into Royce and Hadrian. Your short stories are good - how about a set of short stories set in different times and places in the Riyria universe?
Zeus - 12 years ago
Dan is a bit of an anachronism in our present let alone the future painted in Greener Grass. As the story unfolded, I found myself disliking him more and more (which is not a good sign for a longer work featuring him as the protagonist). In the end, I was torn between the handful of positives Dan pined for (vs the majority of negatives that define his character) and the bland, sterile future world of Ban and Hex. If I had to choose between the two, I'd probably choose their Future over Dan's ideas but knowing myself, I'd never settle for either as the only options.
Filip - 12 years ago
I liked it a lot, but I didn't think about the novel version, although after few hours a new thought appeared, it would be fun to read about Dan meeting fellow time-travellers form different eras, maybe it would look a bit like Hadrian & Royce's first ecounter with Esrahaddon ;).
Riki - 12 years ago
Would love more stories within this setting--novels, shorts, or otherwise.
I feel like we only got a glimpse into a really fantastic world, and I'm curious to see how else the future world is different from us. The story really made me think about how different we are compared to, say, an Egyptian culture at their height of power some two or three thousand years ago. It's pretty crazy to think that your vision of the future is actually plausible to me.
The present-day side would also be interesting to read. I mean, a guy managed to make a time machine, so I'd like to hear more about this "urban sci-fi" world as well.
lucinda - 12 years ago
Too short!! I love this idea...but I am still hoping for more Ryria adventures.
This story reminds me of when I stumbled upon "Wool". The initial short story createda world of possibility that I wanted to explore further.
Write away Mr. Sullivan - you haven't disappointed me yet. Thank you!
I would definitely like to read more... this felt like the opening chapter of a novel and left me wanting to know more!
Very Good! I would love to see this story expanded! Put me on the "will read" list if you decide to turn it into a novel!
Nice story.
I agree that the protagonist was a bit hard to sympathize with. Of course that could be taken advantage as the beginning of a character transformation for a novel based story. Could work it like Clint Eastwood's "Grand Torino" On the other hand, it does provide motivation for the character to cause change in something that has gone too far. All things in moderation, eh?
While I am not a physicist, the car battery concept to power his time travel machine jolted my suspension of disbelief needed for the story. I'm sure it didn't help that I'd recently watched a Stephen Hawking episode on Netflix on the very topic of Time Travel. I would expect something with more oomph to power his device to keep me from questioning this bit.
I do enjoy Michael's works so far. Undecided if I would read a novelized version. I'm not a big fan of Time Travel. Rare occasional episodes I've found appealing, but few and far between. Something irks me about it, but that's my own personality flaw.
In the end, do what feels right. If you like the story write it. Write a good story and your readers will come. They might not be the same readers as you have for the "Riyria" but a good story will bring readers to it.
Nonetheless, keep on writing!
This was a great short. Loved it. Very thought provoking and well written in a way that readers can relate or disagree with some or all different trains of thoughts from the protoganist and the world he time travels to.
Id be in favour of a novel covering the concepts and expanding on it. I suspect the protagonist in this short was unlikeable for most readers though. Perfect protagonist for this short but not for a novel, you might like to consider more than one main protagonist for contrasting characters and relayionships, and being a novel you would obviously introduce some kind of adventure/thriller element.
More short stories from you would pique my interest, I like your writing style.
I have to agree with some of the previous commenters: I don't like Dan. As a short, this works for me. But as a longer novel, he's either got to change his attitude or this short would be more like a prologue and we get to follow along with the future humans instead, and learn of their troubles (surely, they have some, right?).
Good luck with what ever you decide. :)
The short was ok. I had a hard time connecting with the main character. FYI I am not much of a scifi fan so that potentially clouds my viewpoint. If you decide to write a full novel I'll probably still read it bc it's you however the selfish me would rather have another fantasy novel.
The short was ok. I had a hard time connecting with the main character. FYI I am not much of a scifi fan so that potentially clouds my viewpoint. If you decide to write a full novel I'll probably still read it bc it's you however the selfish me would rather have another fantasy novel.
I have loved everything you have written and consider the Riyria series some of the best and very deserving of the six spots they occupy in my bookcase. Greener Grass SHOULD be right next to them; a place of reverence. Your words are powerfully done, don't change. You are climbing the ladder to a great place. Yes, please write the novel.
I need to like the main character to enjoy a story, so I couldn't enjoy this. A man who reads "scientist" magazine with enough scientific understanding to build a time machine, yet he says "so-called global warming"? Ever met a far right anti socialist bible bashing patriotic SCIENTIST? A short story. Ant have any holes. Good idea though. I could read more of your short stories or full novels but I would need you to exert as much care in character as you put into Royce and Hadrian. Your short stories are good - how about a set of short stories set in different times and places in the Riyria universe?
Dan is a bit of an anachronism in our present let alone the future painted in Greener Grass. As the story unfolded, I found myself disliking him more and more (which is not a good sign for a longer work featuring him as the protagonist). In the end, I was torn between the handful of positives Dan pined for (vs the majority of negatives that define his character) and the bland, sterile future world of Ban and Hex. If I had to choose between the two, I'd probably choose their Future over Dan's ideas but knowing myself, I'd never settle for either as the only options.
I liked it a lot, but I didn't think about the novel version, although after few hours a new thought appeared, it would be fun to read about Dan meeting fellow time-travellers form different eras, maybe it would look a bit like Hadrian & Royce's first ecounter with Esrahaddon ;).
Would love more stories within this setting--novels, shorts, or otherwise.
I feel like we only got a glimpse into a really fantastic world, and I'm curious to see how else the future world is different from us. The story really made me think about how different we are compared to, say, an Egyptian culture at their height of power some two or three thousand years ago. It's pretty crazy to think that your vision of the future is actually plausible to me.
The present-day side would also be interesting to read. I mean, a guy managed to make a time machine, so I'd like to hear more about this "urban sci-fi" world as well.
Too short!! I love this idea...but I am still hoping for more Ryria adventures.
This story reminds me of when I stumbled upon "Wool". The initial short story createda world of possibility that I wanted to explore further.
Write away Mr. Sullivan - you haven't disappointed me yet. Thank you!