What did Felix Baumgartner learn from his record-breaking skydive from the edge of space?
Drinking that free promotional case of Red Bull right before the jump might not have been the move
Next time, convert to kilometers BEFORE signing the contract
Yeager really serious about piggybacking him on the way down
Can no longer perform sexually unless he leaps off the roof naked
When you hit the speed of sound there's a time rip that allows you to enjoy The Simpsons again
Fuck that David Bowie song, okay
The Mars cover tweets some nasty shit when it thinks it's about to get upstaged
Groupies who ask if you're falling for them not all that charming
Somehow a fat Asian Boy Scout snuck into the capsule
In retrospect those handrails seem kind of stupid
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