I am drawn in by the mystery of the Hayyim writing. Why were they writing it? What is it written about?
But I am hesitant to continue reading. The sentences are confusing at times i.e., "In a land of dreams and dead men, shook atop a wooden wall guarding the entrance to his town."
It doesn't flow. It should begin, "The land of dreams and dead men shook..." But since you don't know which way the author meant the sentence to go you are stuck reading it over to try and figure it out. For me this meant the whole story was going to be a grinding process.
Some of the imagery doesn't seem congruent to me either. For instance, "...on a dismal day when there were few clouds in the sky..." It seems as if the author is attempting to equate the weather with the day's mood but I don't equate partly cludy with dismal. So that left me confused and wondering why was it dismal?
I liked the tension created by him being chased. What hisses and pants? I want to know.
It seems like there is a story in there somewhere it just needs clarity and streamlining.
I am drawn in by the mystery of the Hayyim writing. Why were they writing it? What is it written about?
But I am hesitant to continue reading. The sentences are confusing at times i.e., "In a land of dreams and dead men, shook atop a wooden wall guarding the entrance to his town."
It doesn't flow. It should begin, "The land of dreams and dead men shook..." But since you don't know which way the author meant the sentence to go you are stuck reading it over to try and figure it out. For me this meant the whole story was going to be a grinding process.
Some of the imagery doesn't seem congruent to me either. For instance, "...on a dismal day when there were few clouds in the sky..." It seems as if the author is attempting to equate the weather with the day's mood but I don't equate partly cludy with dismal. So that left me confused and wondering why was it dismal?
I liked the tension created by him being chased. What hisses and pants? I want to know.
It seems like there is a story in there somewhere it just needs clarity and streamlining.