I was let down when I found out it was a dream. I'm not one of those who thinks dream sequences have no place starting a novel it was just I really liked the story as it was unfolding and the dream kind of made me say, "awww." I think there is a bit of overwriting in the description. I think you have room to shave a few words and still maintain pace and mood; you know keep the heebie-jeebies going. Otherwise, I think you are on the right track. Having read your comment I would love to read more to see where this is going.
John Phoenix
Rachel - 11 years ago
Now I can introduce myself (because someone voted yes ;) ) This may be the most rewritten first chapter in the history of writing, and I am only exaggerating a little. :) Hands in the air, I'm a bit weird, and the story is a bit weird, but I am sure (on a good day with the wind behind me) that it is a really good story. I've finished the book, that was the easy bit. Rewriting it is driving me insane(er).
I kept the dream deliberately vague, and there is a load of stuff in there that makes sense later. Perhaps I am trying to be too clever, I'm not intending to confuse, I guess I wanted people to wonder what on earth... Her dreams run though the first third of the book, and I think they are an important piece of the story.
I may need to find another way to do it, but I want to introduce the "creature" (no spoilers from me) early on, because it is central to the story, as is its connection to Mya.
Hello Rachel,
I was let down when I found out it was a dream. I'm not one of those who thinks dream sequences have no place starting a novel it was just I really liked the story as it was unfolding and the dream kind of made me say, "awww." I think there is a bit of overwriting in the description. I think you have room to shave a few words and still maintain pace and mood; you know keep the heebie-jeebies going. Otherwise, I think you are on the right track. Having read your comment I would love to read more to see where this is going.
John Phoenix
Now I can introduce myself (because someone voted yes ;) ) This may be the most rewritten first chapter in the history of writing, and I am only exaggerating a little. :) Hands in the air, I'm a bit weird, and the story is a bit weird, but I am sure (on a good day with the wind behind me) that it is a really good story. I've finished the book, that was the easy bit. Rewriting it is driving me insane(er).
I kept the dream deliberately vague, and there is a load of stuff in there that makes sense later. Perhaps I am trying to be too clever, I'm not intending to confuse, I guess I wanted people to wonder what on earth... Her dreams run though the first third of the book, and I think they are an important piece of the story.
I may need to find another way to do it, but I want to introduce the "creature" (no spoilers from me) early on, because it is central to the story, as is its connection to Mya.
Any comments gratefully received and pondered :)