What is the best way to sign the autograph book of a giant stranger who asks it of you?
Oblige his request to "write something motherly, like 'Follow your dreams'"
Write the name of your dog, Liquorice
"Go [insert name of team that autograph-seeker does not play for]!"
"To Bartholomew, from a True New Yorker," all the while unaware of the fact that, by masquerading as "Bartholomew," the autograph-seeker is, in fact, a fake New Yorker
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