Will You Go Shopping On Thanksgiving Day?
I already paid a homeless man to save my place in line outside Target.
Yes. It's my best excuse to leave the room when my mother-in-law starts talking.
Yes. But only at home in the company of my iPad and some hot spiked cider.
No. Marketers have ruined what should be a beautiful family holiday.
No, because all my friends on Snapchat like Black Friday and Cyber Monday better. (Wait, was that a crotch shot?)
No, because I'll already be too drunk.
Bah f*cking humbug.
Other:
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