Where's The Best Place To Have Sex?
ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION - “This plane/boat/car could crash at any moments. Don’t you want the final minutes of your life to be special?”
IN PUBLIC SPACES - What fun is sex unless it can result in criminal charges for indecent exposure and public lewdness?
AT WORK - Technically, it’s only a fireable offense if you get caught… by your boss… and he’s not the one you’re sleeping with.
IN THE BATHROOM - It provides easy clean-ups in case of any spills, and if anyone gets suspicious about the moaning, you can just say you’ve eaten lots of fiber.
OUTDOORS - Just like in all those lumberjack and cowboy porno films… except with more uncomfortable rocks, sunburn and bugs.
IN WATER - Lubrication be damned! I want to make out like that straight couple in “From Here To Eternity”… or in a hot tub — that’ll work too.
IN ABANDONED DWELLINGS - I prefer to fuck inside of empty homes and haunted castles, that way the stray cats and ghosts can watch!
IN ACTUAL BEDROOMS - It’s hella comfortable. And while it may sound boring, the way I do it, it’s not boring in the least — sex so dirty you’ll need to burn the sheets.
ONLINE - I prefer cyber sex and randy chat, because you don’t have to clean up for your trick or worry about viruses… unless you mean computer viruses.
OTHER - Sex is a hell of a lot more fun when you’re humping on a camel, tricking on a trapeze or getting man-fucked at a massage parlor.
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