Why Is Four Named "Four"?
It's the number of cats he has.
It's the number of friends he has.
It's his favorite season of Friends.
It's the number of times he's read Fifty Shades of Grey.
It's the most beers he's ever had to drink in a single night.
It's his favorite Star Trek movie.
It's the number of some inherently unquantifiable things that pertain to him as determined by a system that doesn't even work or make sense.
It's the number of times he's had sex.
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