The Winner of the 2015 Nobel Prize for Literature will be...
Anne Carson
Dick Cheney, for his meta-critique of imperialism and modern conflict
Thomas Pynchon
Kevin McCarthy's masterful, postmodern take on the absence of meaning in contemporary speech
Brian Williams
Bei Dao
Haruki Murakami
Donald Trump's tweets
Ursula K. LeGuin
The person who is secretly replacing Jeb! Bush's well thought out notes with the racist, insensitive gibberish he accidentally spouts.
Bill O'Reilly to win for his work on such fictions as "Killing Jesus," his television show and everything he says. He will accept his award on behalf of Ronald Reagan, but keep the prize money.
Adonis
Philip Roth
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