I said no and it's because everything is so passive. How many was's and had's and were's are in these few lines? There's no action, really. And the whole mother nature paragraph was overwritten and a break from the scene at hand (which was inside).
Clearly, the writer can write well but the voice here is passive and uninteresting. It's as if Alistair Cooke was setting up a scene for Masterpiece theater. Unless the narrator has a compelling, unique voice, they can't be so intrusive to the story and keep interest (at least mine). This narrator sounded antiquated but not even in a charming way. More school marmish.
And the most compelling part of this (potential murder) is told over and over. There's no surprise. And no specificity for the would-be murderer. I guess that means it's a mystery. Meh.
I said no and it's because everything is so passive. How many was's and had's and were's are in these few lines? There's no action, really. And the whole mother nature paragraph was overwritten and a break from the scene at hand (which was inside).
Clearly, the writer can write well but the voice here is passive and uninteresting. It's as if Alistair Cooke was setting up a scene for Masterpiece theater. Unless the narrator has a compelling, unique voice, they can't be so intrusive to the story and keep interest (at least mine). This narrator sounded antiquated but not even in a charming way. More school marmish.
And the most compelling part of this (potential murder) is told over and over. There's no surprise. And no specificity for the would-be murderer. I guess that means it's a mystery. Meh.