Rate the scene
Swords? Really? Like, are you planning to describe sword fights and stuff? Do you even own a sword?
There's no sex in this. Also, no swearing. I'm outta here.
Sorry, I was looking for a restroom and took a wrong turn.
Should have stuck with the Western idea. We've not had a good Western tale in years. Not that you could write it, but still . . .
Meh . . . sounds like a mishmash of trite cliches. Can't you come up with something original? Stupid question; of course not, given this is what you wrote.
YA? You're gonna write YA? What are you, like 70 years old? Do you even remember your 30s, let alone your teens? Get real and write something closer to your age group. Something about achy joints and poor hearing.
It all sounds a bit generic for my tastes. There's not enough of a hook in any of this. You should stick with SF.
What a bunch of crock! You should spend more time doing something that is not writing. Polishing shoes on street corners might be more your speed.
I like swords and knives . . . well, more knives. I'm a chef. Well, more of a cook.
The key is characters. Take good characters and decent plot and you can plop them in whatever world you fancy. Let me know when you have either.
Oh, you poor delusional man, you. Being literate is not the same as being able to write. Case in point, the above.
Wow, this was amazing! You done fleshed out enough of a world to set the mind reeling with possibilities. Bravo!
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