Tweet of the Week survey (multiple selections allowed)
Bat 1: Do you ever think God made us blind so that we may see the world for what it truly is? Bat 2: (startled) who said that? …@_ElvishPresley_
Him: Nice to meet you. Me: Give it time … @thetigersez
The best part about having the guys over to watch football, is skipping the game and talking about our feelings …@ComedicBust
Trump has surrounded himself with racists and is empowering nazis, but phew, we avoided that scary lady who didn't follow email protocol …@Elizasoul80
Why is my yard flooded? You know full well …@SkinnerSteven
Toyota Prius: Ranked #1 in Customer Self-Satisfaction …@yonewt
Some days you're the unsuspecting archeologist, some days you're the ancient evil …@Manglewood
The most bad ass event of my childhood was when my grandma sliced my other grandma's head off with a katana and said "there can be only one" …@Mike_Bianchi
I'd like to meet my soulmate, but till that happens, I'd be content having sex with someone else's soulmate …@Marcmywords2
Mike Pence somehow managed to be the least popular vice-president at a musical about a vice-president who kills the hero of that musical …@jwPencilAndPad
"Would you like to make a donation at the register or are you a horrible person?" …@Swishergirl24
*throws down banjo* No YOU'RE ruining the birth of our child … @BuckyIsotope
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