Take the Mormon Santa/Church of Perpetual Xmastime Opinion Survey!
Q.1
The most important issue facing the country today is...
Illegal immigration
The war in Iraq
Healthcare coverage
The mortgage crisis
Same-sex marriage
The growing military threat posed by Brangelina
Q.2
It is most important that our next president has...
Experience in handling national/international affairs
An ability to promise "change"
Non-magical boxers or briefs
Q.3
A president's religious beliefs should be...
Christian
A personal matter that is secondary to their political views and policies
"I'm sure some of us will be Raptured up annnnnny momento now" bat-shit crazy Christian
Q.4
Marijuana should be...
Illegal
Made available for medical usage
A chewing gum flavor
Q.5
Huge international corporations should...
Be fully deregulated
Make better-tasting energy drinks
Monitor the people taking this poll
Q.6
I feel my present job...
Is secure
Could be outsourced to a foreign country at any time
Is barely keeping my children in lattes
Q.7
Our public education system...
Should be privatized
Should teach intelligent design alongside the theory of evolution
Would benefit from a surge in troops
Q.8
"Global warming" is...
A hoax
A grim reality requiring urgent action
A fun safe-sex act you can perform using the warming personal lubricants
Q.9
Of all the alternative fuel sources...
Hydrogen holds the most promise
Ethanol holds the most promise
Meth puts the greatest number of bicycles on the highways
Q.10
When I vote this year...
I will be using a conventional paper ballot
I will be using a secure electronic voting machine
I hope to win an iPod
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