Please have an editor edit for grammatical errors before publishing. Your journalism focuses on useful and informative topics. However; poor grammar, weak grammatical construction, and a lack of editing tends to undermine professional credibility.
Consider the opening lines of the article:
"Remember the phrase “Internet Tsunami” circa 1998? I read a newspaper article read a few weeks ago that looked back at the dot com bubble and examined at how we have evolved with the internet and technology over the last 10 years. "
Pretty weak hook, I'd say:
1. Delete the second use of 'read'.
2. Incorrect use of preposition in 'examined at'. Colloquial option could be 'looked at'. Grammatical option would be simply 'examined how we have evolved...'
3. Incorrect use of preposition in 'demographics in'. Grammatical option would be 'demographics of'
4. If hype is by definition inflated expectation, wouldn't inflated hype be, er uh... "more better"...ridiculous
I like the publication, but I also like the English language. Please consider the potential marketing advantages of literate journalism. Given the fact that the industry now demands perfection and absolute precision in the operation, administration, financing, and financial reporting of senior housing, it seems a small concession to request that those who editorialize about our industry should respect the language and their readers. Thanks and keep up the [improving] work.
Please have an editor edit for grammatical errors before publishing. Your journalism focuses on useful and informative topics. However; poor grammar, weak grammatical construction, and a lack of editing tends to undermine professional credibility.
Consider the opening lines of the article:
"Remember the phrase “Internet Tsunami” circa 1998? I read a newspaper article read a few weeks ago that looked back at the dot com bubble and examined at how we have evolved with the internet and technology over the last 10 years. "
Pretty weak hook, I'd say:
1. Delete the second use of 'read'.
2. Incorrect use of preposition in 'examined at'. Colloquial option could be 'looked at'. Grammatical option would be simply 'examined how we have evolved...'
3. Incorrect use of preposition in 'demographics in'. Grammatical option would be 'demographics of'
4. If hype is by definition inflated expectation, wouldn't inflated hype be, er uh... "more better"...ridiculous
I like the publication, but I also like the English language. Please consider the potential marketing advantages of literate journalism. Given the fact that the industry now demands perfection and absolute precision in the operation, administration, financing, and financial reporting of senior housing, it seems a small concession to request that those who editorialize about our industry should respect the language and their readers. Thanks and keep up the [improving] work.