Where the hell is the pressure going?
The pressure tank is shot in a special feedback loop that only affects the cold water line. (Which makes no sense to me.)
The pipe is blocked by something that won't melt. Possibly uranium.
The water softener has become sentient and is rebelling.
Don't be stupid there is OBVIOUSLY a leak. Go back into the basement, subfloor, attic, closet and don't come back until you find it.
Aliens.
Other:
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