What should I do to gain publicity for my blog and get 30 000 views in fifteen days? (poll 7297765)

What should I do to gain publicity for my blog and get 30 000 views in fifteen days?

Send four pounds of icing sugar and a dassie skull to Obama in a stainless steel box.

Carry on visiting the radio station, but start wearing a ski-mask on account of the cold weather.

Get into the Guiness Book of Records for growing the world's longest nose hair. I'll have to work fast, but middle age has given me a head start.

Start a beef with Jay Z by recording a song in which I refer to him as "piffling".

Spelunk. Spelunk like no-one has ever spelunked before. Become the world's first spelunking superstar.

Other:

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