I found the blurb a bit confusing. What organization is she with or did she just form a team with friends? You describe what her vampire partner looks like but I'd also like to know what the demon's appearance is, rather than his food preferences since a Shamat demon is your specific creation. When the result of the altercation is a headless vampire, I'd hope it wasn't her pirate's head on the floor but you don't specify. You mention supernatural messes left behind-behind what? Not just angel/demon smackdowns I'd guess. Perhaps you could mention why Kylie and Co's cleanup was not effective. If she can erase memories, were half a dozen witness too many to handle? I'd also like to know a bit more about the apocalytic ripple effect: be more specific about the threat. It sounds like an interesting premise and your opening line is pretty good. Sorry if I sound hypercritical but I've been working on pitches for my own stuff so I'm trying to chase perfection!
Helen - 10 years ago
Great blurb. On to the presses! Want an autographed copy!
Lara - 10 years ago
A.E - I think your blurb is sharp, funny and intriguing, which is the perfect snapshot to the book. Where can I sign up for my early copy!?
I found the blurb a bit confusing. What organization is she with or did she just form a team with friends? You describe what her vampire partner looks like but I'd also like to know what the demon's appearance is, rather than his food preferences since a Shamat demon is your specific creation. When the result of the altercation is a headless vampire, I'd hope it wasn't her pirate's head on the floor but you don't specify. You mention supernatural messes left behind-behind what? Not just angel/demon smackdowns I'd guess. Perhaps you could mention why Kylie and Co's cleanup was not effective. If she can erase memories, were half a dozen witness too many to handle? I'd also like to know a bit more about the apocalytic ripple effect: be more specific about the threat. It sounds like an interesting premise and your opening line is pretty good. Sorry if I sound hypercritical but I've been working on pitches for my own stuff so I'm trying to chase perfection!
Great blurb. On to the presses! Want an autographed copy!
A.E - I think your blurb is sharp, funny and intriguing, which is the perfect snapshot to the book. Where can I sign up for my early copy!?