I think this letter is purely about financial gain. This young lady was asked personally on the show to share her feelings, she said it was too late and she wanted no parts of it. She is 26, talk to ur mom, she's partly to blame also. U see, there is another sibling that has set up a fund to raise money on GoFundMe.com. We don't owe these 34 ppl child support, he does. Go take several seats Amina!!! and I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.
lin - 10 years ago
Dear Amina, I wish that I could meet you and speak with you for just a while. I have a 27-year-old son and I have nieces and nephews with whom I believe in open and true communication. You need some of this now, and regularly. I do not wish to offend you or your family, but you are not thinking about this correctly. As well, you Mother has more to do with this than even your Father. Ralph Waldo Emerson, said, "Men are what their Mothers made them". I only know that you know this is true, for if you look at your "own self" you too are what your Mother has made you. That being said, we each have to know when to acknowledge total truth and how to forgive those who have put lies upon us for years - then understand and forgive ourselves for what we have allowed others to do influence us to become, especially those things of dishonor and of no integrity - that we hide inside or ignorantly display. My name is Lin and my email is lpsouth11@gmail.com. If you feel, please email me. The CREATOR will lead you as to whether you should reach out to me and I humbly respect what happens. I hope that you can feel and understand what I am saying or let's talk together and I pray the CREATOR will allow healing and growth for you and for me also. Even our overall experience in America cannot be the total blame (or even most) of why some find themselves in "situations" such as this. I do hope to speak with you, but mostly, I wish you, love, peace and happiness. May I say to you - Aloha, Namaste and Hotep. I love you - it will be alright - it really can. always, ms lin.
KFC - 10 years ago
It seems this young lady didn't come to the show with apprehension she may have came looking for a long sought after validation and a "change" in her father. After reading her post, It seems she might be the one with the false sense of reality. What did she expect the show to do for her father .? Her eyes were not fully open to see that this show although inspiring to some, and encouraging to others CANNOT bring about any changes to any one's life unless they want it to. She seems to be a young lady in turmoil , but again , that's not something this show or anything else can ever fix . for her or her father.. unless she wants to. Her peace has to come from within and be her own choice.: by either accepting who her father is and keeping it moving to become the best HER she can be despite it all.
Taz - 10 years ago
This young lady needs to learn that no one can fix her father, the family or 33 other children, the purpose for the show was to undercover why he has chosen to have 34 children by 17 women an for him to discover how much hurt he has bottled up in him to turn around an misuse these women in his life, including the children.
I thought it was a great show. It caught allot of people attention, especially the fathers. For the duration of the show, I felt that they all realized that having multiple sex partners did not heal them of what was really missing in their lives. I am not trying to judge those brothers, but time will tell how sincere they are about changing. The first step has been made... Ask for the kids forgiveness and be a part of their lives from this day forward. We cannot change the past, but we can control the future. God Bless
Boisy - 10 years ago
It s going to take more than a few shows counseling and hard work and years to overcome the problems he has
RS - 10 years ago
I think this show gave insight to. A very touchy subject. Be it one fatherless child or 34, those who hurt in the end are the kids.
Bernadette - 10 years ago
I think the children should be the focus of more help and counseling, if they want it, on or off of t.v. I think the show has started conversation about a very serious problem. Dialogue my be helpful to bring awareness to some young men who think of this sort of thing as a badge of manhood. Just like some young men think they have to go to prison to be respected in their'hood'. People need to be shown that the whole woeld doesn't share their values, or the values of their circle of friends.
D. smith - 10 years ago
We all know what Iyanla shoe is about...fixing someone life. Her intent was to help the man with the 34 kids mentally and spiritually. She talked nothing about the worldly aspect of fixing him. Are the children asking for the same attention of having their lives fixed or are they asking for child support. I feel it is the mothers responsibility financially knowing you slept with him when he was broken and produced broken children. Yes he had a responsibility as a man but where he was he could not be reached until he addressed the things that was bottled inside. I don't understand what the children are asking for...how can 1 person give themselves to 34 people? The best thing to take from this experience is that the father is making amends for what he has done, attempt to give a piece of himself to each child and continue with building his mind and spirit. The only thing to take from his is his growth because he can not give all that you want him to give. So Iyanla did her best and always do. What more did she want from her?
Anita watkins - 10 years ago
I really think they should have a show with just the children. The small part they had in the show was not enough. They really needed time to talk. The dad had time to talk and the mom's did also. Children have feeling also . I am really asking Iyanla to bring the kids back because there is a lot of pain in these children and they're doomed to make the same mistakes. They really need someone to talk to
Debra Haggan Eberhart - 10 years ago
You can't' be mad at her she did her part on that it's up to your dad to do rhe rest he the only one that know what to do to fix this
Cynthia Greene - 10 years ago
At the end of the day you quite like your father toy had a choice and you made the decision to participate. So go cry a river somewhere else grow up and get over it. Your dad is just a man, a sad case if a man but non the less a self indulging hu-man. Aside the mistakes in this post you get the message, you got his
Felice - 10 years ago
This can only be fixed through the help of GOD! No 1 hour long show, no 1 hour long session can fix anyone's problems! Talk shows need drama to keep existing, I don't agree with such T. V. shows such as this! Dr. Phil, Wendy Williams, and none of the rest is really meant to help people's situations, especially when the problem has existed for years! Healing can come but the hurt has to come first! Much bitterness will come out, but without the bitterness healing can not take place! Each individual has to be mature enough to face the problem, they must be willing to hear one another and be honest with one another and respect the fact that this is how we all feel, and definitely not make excuses! Anything broken can be fixed, but with willing minds! Stay off these shows and turn to JESUS, HE'S our answer to any problem!
Felice - 10 years ago
This can only be fixed through the help of GOD! No 1 hour long show, no 1 hour long session can fix anyone's problems! Talk shows need drama to keep existing, I don't agree with such T. V. shows such as this! Dr. Phil, Wendy Williams, and none of the rest is really meant to help people's situations, especially when the problem has existed for years! Healing can come but the hurt has to come first! Much bitterness will come out, but without the bitterness healing can not take place! Each individual has to be mature enough to face the problem, they must be willing to hear one another and be honest with one another and respect the fact that this is how we all feel, and definitely not make excuses! Anything broken can be fixed, but with willing minds! Stay off these shows and turn to JESUS, HE'S our answer to any problem!
Yvonne Holloway - 10 years ago
The way I see it is the damage has already been done. Even if her father changes it too much for one man. She just want u to heal.. and if there's any money to get she still has to split it 34 ways..
MiMi - 10 years ago
The only people who can hold him accountable are the women and children and Iyanla repeatedly practically begged them to do so. Only the son was interested in addressing his father about his behavior and absence in his life. Sounds like the girls want their share of the spotlight now that their father is "a household name" albeit for very horrible reasons.
Kennedy - 10 years ago
On the show the young lady was very nonchalant when she had the chance to confront her dad. Iyanna asked if there was anything that she wanted to say, she casually mentioned that it was too late and she does not wanted anything to do wth her dad. They all agreed on the couch and iyannna confirmed before asking him if he loves them enough to leave them alone, he hesitated and finally agreed. She never objected!
pierre - 10 years ago
Fixing this man would be better in castrating him ! To be honest hes a horrible representation of a human. and further Anyone who agrees to allow TV to fix their problems truly don't deserve to have their issues resolved. to believe there owed a solution through this venue is ridiculous. Sad truly sad!
Well it's called fix my life. These people have these shows and they. Get paid due to their ratings. I Think the best therapy is to sit down with your parents, each party should commit to being honest and they should work it out. It shouldn't be on tv I the firstplace and these talk shoe host probably have more garbage than all of us. I don't believe
James harris - 10 years ago
As an Lovechild myself,...Not seeing my father for the first 18 yrs, Now 56. and he died in 2001
I forgave him,.hurt, yes but not hateful. I gave him a chance to be a grandfather to his only child's children. He did good. And Im glad I forgave him. In Time all wounds will heal,..the pain will stop. But the scar serves only as a reminder. It will take time ,.hes been confronted, hes admitted,.then he'll change..and so will the children if they forgive.
JustPondering - 10 years ago
of course the show is about exploiting the "participants" for ratings otherwise it wouldn't be on TV. If she truly cared she would do the same thing without the "network" and just do it to help.
Everyone who has a show on TV no matter what the moniker is about the money, fame and glory.
The show is called ilyanla fix my life now people and when your dealing with kids you have to accommodate them on their level, if you tell them that you are going to do something then, you have to do the damn thang...
TJay - 10 years ago
I feel like the show is a fraud! All they're doing is making money off of people's life problems. Why haven't they aired their dirty laundry. I don't condone what the fater is doing, no more than Iyliana. She pretends to be a life coach when truth is all of us have issues. People kill me always trying to fix others. Fix your damn self!!!!!!!!!!!!!
c - 10 years ago
The father aint nothing but a hoe having all that unprotected. Sex and the baby mama are just as stupid believing his lies n dreams when clearly. He was just using them for they goodies...... He doesn't. Deserve. No sympathy, i hate that. The kids have to suffer. Because of his stupidity. N the women.stupidity, he probably have vd n everything else in his blood stream... Just horrible n sad, iyana is trying to educate him, n show him how the fatherless kids are feeling, n the women. That give they body to a man, believing. In him n those lies, n in turn they have to raise the children. That they carried for 9 months, gave birth. To destroying they body being cut on n have to be sowed back together... Like a doll.... While the man don't. Go through none of that shit, just his dick hard nut n fet the fuck on to the next... Just stupid n. Stupid,,, he got a special place in hell.waiting on him....
LILLIE STEPHENS - 10 years ago
IT IS UP TO YOUR PARENT TO FIX YOUR FAMILY. YOUR PARENTS MADE THE CHOICE TO BRING YOU INTO THE WORLD. THE SHOW IS ONLY TAKEN, THE BLINDERS OF PEOPLE'S EYE TO THE CHOICES THEY ARE MAKING,WHEN IT COMES TO FATHERING CHILDREN. ONE SHOULD NOT HAVE 34 KIDS, IF YOU CAN'T PROVIDE FOR THEM OR GIVE THEM THE ATTENTION, THE CHILD NEEDS. THE SHOW IS TRYING TO OPEN THE EYES TO BLACK MEN, WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND WHY THEY CONTINUE TO DO THIS TO THERE CHILDREN. HISTORY DOES NOT HAVE TO BE REPEATED, BUT IF YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR HISTORY, YOU WILL REPEAT EVERY MISTAKE YOUR FORE FATHERS MADE. MEN NEED TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE TO WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO THERE, CHILDREN. WE HAVE A LOT OF ANGRY CHILDREN IN THIS WORLD AND THAT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE FATHER'S INVOLVED IN THERE LIFE. THESE MEN ARE SO WRONG AND IT IS GETTING WORSE. HOW SELFISH CAN A PERSON BE, SAD......THE SAME GOES TO WOMEN WHO DO THE SAME THING .
Day - 10 years ago
At 26 one should be able to understand that no human can be "fixed". We can only be enlightened to our choices- and understand the consequences that were brought before us- do to our own actions (or inactions). You and your 33 siblings were the consequences-and it's unfortunate. But what we do now with that is we move forward, in life as I can imagine you've had to. Forget the ideal that he will be changed into this loving, attentive father figure and grow to know the signs of dealing with people like him. Learn to take a step back and know a man who can deal with commitment. Someone dedicated to partnership and fatherhood. There are so many absentee dads! Its so sad but you can be one who dwells and learns to place blame(as being done to Iyanla) or you can become stronger in knowing that he is who is and dont let it affect you.
dixiedrifter - 10 years ago
these stupid shows make money for the networks and are not intended to fix broken families issues .
Atlgurl - 10 years ago
Why doesn't she feel her mother is partially responsible? Some women we are quick to blame men when they don't stick around, but you knew he had other children he wasn't caring for. This is the perfect example. This man couldn't have this many children by himself. These women chose to keep having children with this man and now the kids are hurt. As women we need to be more thoughtful of who we lay down with and mot just think it feels good. We need to take into consideration that other lives depend on our decisions!
Carol Jackson - 10 years ago
I truly believe Jay and his 34 kids need counseling because he don't know them. We have to pray for this family and allow God to heal them because they are all broken. True facts they have been in this issue for so long. Jay has to learn how to heal with his parents before and can truly be a father to his kids. We as women has to take responsibility for our actions as well.
Rashad - 10 years ago
I think this young lady needs to soon her cannons elsewhere. I don't know if she thought this show was supposed to change everything but I know it's a start. I can't imagine what her and her siblings have been through but Iyanla is helping to expose these brothers ask are doing this BS around the country. If nothing else it's a start and a counter to all this other nonsense in TV involving black men. I'd rather see this than "Maury".
Kei - 10 years ago
At the end of the day, someone requested her help. She asked people to participate. You had a choice as to whether you wanted to do it or not. She tried he best to get to the root of his issue. In order for anyone to change, he or she must be willing to receive, understand, and accept the truth. From what I watched, many were reluctant to do either and it seemed that pride played a huge role with some. If one can't or refuse to forgive, then they will continue to live the same way. A lot of people are hurting in this whole scenario, but one thing's for sure, everyone wants healing but some aren't willing to put their pride and past aside in order to receive it. This is all my opinion, and you'll either agree or disagree. I pray that you all receive the peace and healing that your hearts desire.
Camille M. - 10 years ago
Surely a woman in her twenties knows a formatted television show cannot literally "fix" anyone. Iyanla did a wonderful job sharing this story, helping Jay discover and begin healing old wounds and providing an outlet where those who are directly affected by the decisions made by this man can express themselves honestly without constraints. If Iyanla's attempt to set a family on their path toward forgiveness and reconciliation didn't go over well for Amina, maybe it's because she wasn't/isn't ready to move in that direction. The 'Jay Williams' story has transcended beyond Oprah's network sparking honest dialogue in living rooms (and bedrooms) across America. Kudos to Iyanla for sharing this story. As time goes on may even Amina will receive the healing, resolution and outcome she seeks.
Camille M. - 10 years ago
Surely a woman in her twenties knows a formatted television cannot literally "fix" anyone. Iyanla did a wonderful job sharing this story, helping Jay discover and begin healing old wounds and providing an outlet where those who are directly affected by the decisions made by this man can express themselves honestly without constraints. If Iyanla's attempt to set a family on their path toward forgiveness and reconciliation didn't go over well for Amina, may it's because she wasn't/isn't ready to move in that direction. The 'Jay Williams' story has transcended beyond Oprah's network sparking honest dialogue in living rooms (and bedrooms) across America. Kudos to Iyanla for sharing this story. As time goes on may even Amina will receive the healing, resolution and outcome she needs.
Kk - 10 years ago
Iyanla only visits and airs people and situations that request her. They cannot expect Iyanla or anyone else to solve all of their problems. There are thousands of children that aren't raised with a father. There's is no different but at least they know who their father is.
Jacqui - 10 years ago
I pray that his daughter learns from her parents decisions and let's their livelihoods not be hers. She should be determined to make wise decisions when chosing a husband or a man to father her children. She should not feel that it is her fault that she is one of his 33 or 34 children. She has numerous brothers and sisters to embrace and love. She also has a loving grandmother who was also broken. Ayala had them on her show but I have seen Jay on another show about a year ago. She is a beautiful young lady. Live your life girl. Don't cry over spilled milk. Forgive your father for not being there for you and thank the adults that were. I hope and pray that you and Jay establish a relationship. He may be a piece of work but he is still your father. Get to know him for yourself.
ant - 10 years ago
Every home has it's own foundation and must support it self through all types of weather some good some bad but stand.some last year's some go on for decades. Just like some are dad's and some are father's. Father's stay around for a lifetime and dad's are around for a season. Just learn dad's mistakes and you'll Last a lifetime
MEME - 10 years ago
I am a daughter of a man with over 10 children. I was told my dad has 15 or more children. I have no idea but I do know the oldest is 51 and I am the third and I am 42. My point is I was angry at my dad for so many years not understanding why he had so many children and did absolutely NOTHING for me from the age of 12 or 13 until my late 20's and didn't do much for my other's siblings either except the two he had by his wife. I could never understand why he made the choices that he did. But after watching Iyanla I wish someone could have spoken to my father like she did with Jay and the other men. The fact is Iyanla cannot FIX a man nor his children but whatever help she extended to them (man & children) they should use it to help get to the next phase in life. I'm sure it's not easy for Jay's children. I'm sure they think their father is being a new found celebrity but the fact is this is MUCH bigger than Jay and so many men are hurting from their mistakes and constantly keep making the same mistakes but to face their mistakes and pain is AWESOME!! That's the start of CHANGE. I'm glad Jay wrote Iyanla and asked for help because he was the cause of SO MANY men admitting their problems and seeking help from issues they have been dealing with for a lifetime. I'm not a man but I am a daughter of the same situation. I live in NY and I learned that I had a sister in Florida about 5 or 6 years ago. We are 12 years apart. I'm the oldest and my sister and I talk nearly everyday. We have been following every episode and we have cried along with the men from our pain in the situation. The solution to this problem is finding inner healing within yourself. Don't look for your parent for healing. Pray, seek God for a forgiving heart and watch things change. That's what worked for me and now I have a GREAT relationship with my dad. At the end of the day being bitter will only hurt ourselves. Pray for your dad, love him and move on. My life did not end because of my dad's mistakes. And neither did theirs. Also remember anytime someone signs up for reality show. Things get real. You have to be ready for what comes just know what you're getting into. The fact was the show was meant to help us all especially Jay's family. Trust God everything will be alright.
Julia - 10 years ago
The only person that can fix people is God. We can not change people, places or things. Go to GOD.
Shevonda - 10 years ago
In my opinion Amina isnot right to be upset with a Iyanla and her show. The fact of the matter is I think Iyanla intentions we're good however, at the end of the day her father is a grown man and he and his parents are to blame for all of his shortcomings. I think Amina should definitely rethink blaming the show. God Bless Amina and all of her siblings it's unfortunate we can't choose our parents.
lightskin Lori - 10 years ago
You have to be willing to fix yourself. No one else can do that for you. Others can help to guide and direct you. But it's the individual them self that straightens up and decide to fly right.
BJ - 10 years ago
The behavior has been going on for years,it's has taken Iyanla and Jay and thorough God to bring it out in the open to be addressed so that healing and repairing can start for men and women and children situation like this....I believe that was no exploitation, just self-realization...acceptation ...
laurie Jeffries - 10 years ago
She didn't search him out. Someone came to her.he was to help him then he help himself and he help the kids. But to help the kids ...that's another show. Good luck to you all and please find all your siblings.
James - 10 years ago
I have to agree with the daughter. I am a deadbeat dad to my 1 and only daughter. I made a mistake and put my hand on my daughters Mom. I went to sleep that night and when i woke the next morning they were gone. I was told my family that she would come to see my Grandmother. When my daughter was 7yrs. old i made the trip to my home time and my daughters Mom had a conversation with my wife and when she saw me she took my daughter and left the state. I never saw her again till we found each other on facebook. I don't have but 1 child but sometimes i think she hates the fact that i left her but to this day I never told her this. I didn't want her to think her Mother kept her from me but i did understand why she did it I still love my daughter and after I saw my daughter i went into a deep depression for many years and through IV drugs and unprotected sex I really did nothing to save my own life. I never told anyone this story but i finally have the strength to speak on it by this young lady telling the world about how a daughter feels. I would give up my life for her to love me but she is the only one that can make the choice. I wish I could turn back the hands of time but we know that this is going to be impossible, what i want is her her to know that no matter how long it has been I will always LOVE her til the day I die and then until the end of time. I still have a photo of the day she took her first step. She is grown and has her own kids and she loves them the same way i wish i had a chance to love her. PLEASE let this young lady get a chance to tell her Father how she feels and then they will have a chance to move on with her life with some sort of opening or closure it will help her heal and move on or learn to love her father, the choice will be hers.
gnet - 10 years ago
I believe Ms.Iyanla show only gives us a glimpse of what's happening with a family. These 34 children are damaged. They have to find some peace and love themselves because they don't have the ability to change another person. They can only learn to forgive him of his ignorance and find peace within their own lives. The show has been a great eye opener for the consequences of leaving your children and the domino effect it has on generations. People have to love themselves in order to love another. It's sad to me that so many don'tknow how to love themselves.
dimpples28 - 10 years ago
Iyanla is not Jesus boo, she can't recover what he did in the past. Girl bye! She can't force ya'll to heal, forgive and understand your father who you come from. She only helped with the process and transition you and many families around the world for free. But of course she will make a fortune on her gift, that a lot folks don't have like Mrs. Iyanla.
Renee Hep - 10 years ago
You can't fix a sperm donor. the show and Iyanla are just that a show. She is a good speaker, saying all the right thing, yet not helping. What I seen on this topic was not dealing with the real world. You must be in touch with the real world, to see there no hope for someone just making babies. The children were exposed to their feeling and more hurt through this show. He just a sperm donor with not care in the world for the children, that was not fixed.
Lynette - 10 years ago
When people take outrageous steps to cover up their behaviors... to some degree, they already know they are operating in shame. Thus, they sliver around like a snake in the dark betraying the one's they claim to love! When a door of light has been provided to confront YOUR OWN MESS, it is the snake who must take the necessary steps to enter into the light and seek redemption by CHANGING THEIR BEHAVIOR and addressing the hidden causes behind the behavior! He has the sole responsibility to turn from his wicked ways, repent, and be made whole! He has the responsibility to strive from THAT moment forward, to do whatever it takes to show those he has DROPPED.... that he is trying to do the best he can humanly do to redeem himself!
justhorsinaround - 10 years ago
I agree with most of the comments stating the show can't fix anyone's life but is designed to bring real life situations to the forefront. What about the mothers who kept having babies by this man. We as women need to to take responsibility and make better choices about the type b of men we lay down with. We are the ones being left to care for these children. Its anoter learning experience and hopefully someone benefits from the exposure.
Eileen - 10 years ago
Why be mad at her, y'all agree to come on the show, she never said she can fix that situation, key word was TRY, n she's not a miracle worker, that is a huge situation to deal with, if he don't try to make things right, way can she do, really
Tiffany Kelly - 10 years ago
The show doesn't "fix" people or situations like one fixes cars...it can't!!! Use it for what it is, it gives you the tools you need to at least start fixing on yourself, which is where the real repair takes place, anyway.
lenora king - 10 years ago
I marked yes to the 1st choice, but feel further explanation is necessary. the show is out for ratings and Ms. VanZant is not the end of the story for her dad , the moms, or his children. the children must need ongoing therapy and the father also. he needs to learn to stop this cycle he has kept up for all of these years. it is a deep pathology in him and the women who slept with him knowing his past and present, and continue to sleep with him. but again, the children are innocent in that equation and counseling should probably set up for them that choose to partake.
Precious - 10 years ago
Sorry to say this but the show did what it implied by its title. The title wasnt Fix the chilsren of the man who fathered 34 children. It was Fix my father. We as a people should know that not any one show will fix anyone, however, OWN and Iyanla did provide him with a stepping stone, now its totally up to hm to figure the rest out.
Debra king - 10 years ago
I loved the show.Five shows will not fix anyone's life. But it sets the tone for healing and it brought awareness to this serious issue of fatherless children of the world. I was in tears and it made me look at my own life and the choices I made....Iyanla said it perfectly :Men you are not studs making babies for the master to sell off to slavery...I would really like to hear from more of the fatherless children and how impacted theirs lifes. Its the children, regardless of age to express themselves so other children can hear them and maybe help them get started on their healing process
Dolores - 10 years ago
I would like to thank the show and all the men, women and children that came to help them start the healing process.I get that they are holding only the men accountable but the women aren't faultless either. For a man to father 34 children with 17 women I don't think they spent alot of quality time together. All of the children born into this mess didn't have any choice but should be asked if they want to meet or have a relationship since their parent can't work things out.
Janine - 10 years ago
What was discussed on the show was just an introduction to your father's issues, and Iyanla was aware of that. Now what need to happen for your father, you, and your sibblings is long-term counceling.
Marlene Smith - 10 years ago
She did not call your father, he called her. What is it that you want her to do for you and the rest of the clan. Maybe the show will in courage him to get vasectomy and have no more children. Move on and do a better job with your sons and daughter.Bravo to OWN.
Trina - 10 years ago
The show did receive high ratings and no the show did not contribute to the actions of your father. Your father made poor choices. Your father is responsible for his actions. It is not the responsibility of OWN or Iyanla to provide you or your siblings with peace or closure. You are responsible for how you live YOUR life. YOU are NOT accountable for what your father did or did not do. At this point YOU must decide whether YOU want to communicate with your father..siblings..etc. I have multiple siblings from my father. I am not speaking from a place of limited knowledge..basically in order for YOU to move forward YOU must decide to stop placing blame...live your life...learn who your siblings are...stop blaming and start reunification...Family ..honesty..and LOVE are important;however LOVE is the most important factor...Love yourself first...everything else will follow
LMS - 10 years ago
I think that because of your pain, you missed the point. I encourage you to open your heart and mind. Think beyond your personal pain.
Peggy - 10 years ago
You have to start somewhere,somehow.Be open and give your father the benefit of the doubt and trust that it is all for the Good and in time wounds will be healed.....Peace and blessings
Vita - 10 years ago
It took years for things to get to this point with him and all the kids, its going to take years or maybe his lifetime to fix things with the children and some may never be fixed because the kids are too hurt like this daughter. Iyana and OWN want a show that is interesting and they can provide guidance to this man but the application of those lessons are up to him and whom he interacts with. I don't think she took on the job to fix 35 folks, just one so he could try to fix his relationship with the 34 kids and possibly their mothers.
jcallwood - 10 years ago
I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU WERE EXPLOITED, YOU IMAGINED THAT YOU WOULD COME OUT OF THIS EXPERIENCE WITH SOME FINANCIAL GAIN.
Shanita - 10 years ago
Iyanla did not call on him to do his story, He called her. I believe she did the best she could, I believe it was more than most would have done for him...so get over it.
AGee - 10 years ago
They are young adults. I can imagine their feelings of vulnerability @ being exposed like this. I can't call it right or wrong....just rather naïve. I could go on & on, but I won't. But....I would like to know what they think of their mothers in the equation.
Pat Jay - 10 years ago
My dad is in the same league but I love him with all my heart, a parent is the greatest thing next to GOD and I take it, must at all times be respected and revered cause I am because of them no matter how flawed they've been or appear to be.
The mere fact that I am alive - is tribute to them and I can never see myself critizing my parent!
My very essence is them and I did a few times criticise my dad and was bitter and I've been chiding myself ever since cause the birth of any child is in itself a wonder - no matter the circumstances!
My advise... Appreciate your dad while you still have him, because once he is not there you will realize he is the best dad you can ever have, love him, adore him and enjoy having so many siblings..
De'Riyah - 10 years ago
First of all, they all knew what the content of the show would be about and they had every right to opt out if they felt they were going to expolited. Secondly, that seem like a personal issue she have with her father and does not have the right to blame someone of the intentions to help her family start the healing process. The process will never end because; its a lot of people who are involve. Finally, why Iyanla have to be at fault for starting the process, she never placed words in her father mouth or make him shed tears when he knew he was guilty for all those children he could not afford to take care of. When you get on shows like that, you are inviting the world in and whatever the outcome is you have to live with that. Its almost like signing your name to a contract for a job you don't like going to everyday. You were not aired on the show for whatever reasons you choose not to be but now you have made a public statement about the show regarding your father. Well, you have your 15sec of fame.
Roberta - 10 years ago
Young lady im sorry you feel the way you do but in all reality Ms.Vanzant is not the problem. Your dad and you need to just accept what you can't change and move on. You need to understand the healing process before she can assume it did't help. What do she want to happen? She need to address her own issues and realize that she is not her dad or her mom and she has the opportunity to make a difference in her own life. Truly she can seek God and have a forgiving heart. we all have to face God for things done in this life. I wish her well and peace.
bella - 10 years ago
They always making a shoe about something just straight bullshit
MPettway - 10 years ago
There's 34 reasons your father must get right but the main reason is for himself. Iyanla can only suggest him to deal with he's choices than the choice is solely his. He fathered so many with 17 women which doesn't include the ones that choose not to be apart of his madness or the ones that abort. Can we just talk about the possibility of diseases? There's only a small gesture that can be made yup change a long time problem. If she's doing well with her life minus her father.... continue by forgiving her father and her mother. Live your life girl and by all means make different choices.
kelli - 10 years ago
They should pay for his ass to have a vasectomy.
teri evans - 10 years ago
Your father is his own demon and it's his responsibility to get right and make the best of the start the show gave him. He called the show!
JULIUS - 10 years ago
I would label this show Reality TV at its core. I was surprised that so many women are willing to accept a very small piece instead of PEACE. The show made me feel grateful that my mother and grandmother favored PEACE.
The additional episodes were beneficial to the men I hope. The relationship between slavery and childbearing is real. However, if individually men and women don't realize the damage to the children. These situations will continue to erode our family culture.
It would benefit all of these people to seek the comfort of a higher power. It is senseless to count on man or woman for your happiness or PEACE.
Ms. Vanzant is equiped to guide, teach and empower those who choose to listen and embrace the empowerment that is within all of us. Utilize the serenity prayer and put your children before man or woman.
Joyce - 10 years ago
Well, Mr. Jay DID ask Iyanla to help HIM. Sometimes it isn't so easy to "fix" someone who doesn't accept responsibility for his/ her actions. You FIRST have to make up YOUR mind and WANT to change, otherwise it's to no avail.
danive - 10 years ago
I don't think you where exploited either the thing was to some help for your dad and all these women that were broken and let down the majority of them knew each other so this was definitely a 17 way street so please don't just blame your dad or ms.vanzant this is very common in our culture to not feel that we as long as we have a man an bo matter how many others he is committed to.Make sure that you don't end up in a situation like this because history has a way of repeating itself.HIS-STORY (
Anthony Brown - 10 years ago
The show didnt reveal a dead beat father...it revealed the hurt the reason why he wasn't able to commit to one woman and when he made promises to these women they believed him because they were searching for some type of emotional connection they were missing...and let me say this I went on a u must check out the show campaigne..it was deep it helped someone..it saved someones life..it encouraged a man that was running to stop and say this ain't what I need it ain't good for me..to live like this...so I applaude her for teaching giving AMD awareness of knowledge..if it wasn't effected to u or on u..u r in denial and running...
culliver - 10 years ago
How do you feel you were exploited? It was a sibling that ask for your life to be fixed. Unless you made a contract that says your family of 34 should get a cut of the ratings. You are asking help to fix your life...nah i disagree you were not exploited...
I think this letter is purely about financial gain. This young lady was asked personally on the show to share her feelings, she said it was too late and she wanted no parts of it. She is 26, talk to ur mom, she's partly to blame also. U see, there is another sibling that has set up a fund to raise money on GoFundMe.com. We don't owe these 34 ppl child support, he does. Go take several seats Amina!!! and I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.
Dear Amina, I wish that I could meet you and speak with you for just a while. I have a 27-year-old son and I have nieces and nephews with whom I believe in open and true communication. You need some of this now, and regularly. I do not wish to offend you or your family, but you are not thinking about this correctly. As well, you Mother has more to do with this than even your Father. Ralph Waldo Emerson, said, "Men are what their Mothers made them". I only know that you know this is true, for if you look at your "own self" you too are what your Mother has made you. That being said, we each have to know when to acknowledge total truth and how to forgive those who have put lies upon us for years - then understand and forgive ourselves for what we have allowed others to do influence us to become, especially those things of dishonor and of no integrity - that we hide inside or ignorantly display. My name is Lin and my email is lpsouth11@gmail.com. If you feel, please email me. The CREATOR will lead you as to whether you should reach out to me and I humbly respect what happens. I hope that you can feel and understand what I am saying or let's talk together and I pray the CREATOR will allow healing and growth for you and for me also. Even our overall experience in America cannot be the total blame (or even most) of why some find themselves in "situations" such as this. I do hope to speak with you, but mostly, I wish you, love, peace and happiness. May I say to you - Aloha, Namaste and Hotep. I love you - it will be alright - it really can. always, ms lin.
It seems this young lady didn't come to the show with apprehension she may have came looking for a long sought after validation and a "change" in her father. After reading her post, It seems she might be the one with the false sense of reality. What did she expect the show to do for her father .? Her eyes were not fully open to see that this show although inspiring to some, and encouraging to others CANNOT bring about any changes to any one's life unless they want it to. She seems to be a young lady in turmoil , but again , that's not something this show or anything else can ever fix . for her or her father.. unless she wants to. Her peace has to come from within and be her own choice.: by either accepting who her father is and keeping it moving to become the best HER she can be despite it all.
This young lady needs to learn that no one can fix her father, the family or 33 other children, the purpose for the show was to undercover why he has chosen to have 34 children by 17 women an for him to discover how much hurt he has bottled up in him to turn around an misuse these women in his life, including the children.
I thought it was a great show. It caught allot of people attention, especially the fathers. For the duration of the show, I felt that they all realized that having multiple sex partners did not heal them of what was really missing in their lives. I am not trying to judge those brothers, but time will tell how sincere they are about changing. The first step has been made... Ask for the kids forgiveness and be a part of their lives from this day forward. We cannot change the past, but we can control the future. God Bless
It s going to take more than a few shows counseling and hard work and years to overcome the problems he has
I think this show gave insight to. A very touchy subject. Be it one fatherless child or 34, those who hurt in the end are the kids.
I think the children should be the focus of more help and counseling, if they want it, on or off of t.v. I think the show has started conversation about a very serious problem. Dialogue my be helpful to bring awareness to some young men who think of this sort of thing as a badge of manhood. Just like some young men think they have to go to prison to be respected in their'hood'. People need to be shown that the whole woeld doesn't share their values, or the values of their circle of friends.
We all know what Iyanla shoe is about...fixing someone life. Her intent was to help the man with the 34 kids mentally and spiritually. She talked nothing about the worldly aspect of fixing him. Are the children asking for the same attention of having their lives fixed or are they asking for child support. I feel it is the mothers responsibility financially knowing you slept with him when he was broken and produced broken children. Yes he had a responsibility as a man but where he was he could not be reached until he addressed the things that was bottled inside. I don't understand what the children are asking for...how can 1 person give themselves to 34 people? The best thing to take from this experience is that the father is making amends for what he has done, attempt to give a piece of himself to each child and continue with building his mind and spirit. The only thing to take from his is his growth because he can not give all that you want him to give. So Iyanla did her best and always do. What more did she want from her?
I really think they should have a show with just the children. The small part they had in the show was not enough. They really needed time to talk. The dad had time to talk and the mom's did also. Children have feeling also . I am really asking Iyanla to bring the kids back because there is a lot of pain in these children and they're doomed to make the same mistakes. They really need someone to talk to
You can't' be mad at her she did her part on that it's up to your dad to do rhe rest he the only one that know what to do to fix this
At the end of the day you quite like your father toy had a choice and you made the decision to participate. So go cry a river somewhere else grow up and get over it. Your dad is just a man, a sad case if a man but non the less a self indulging hu-man. Aside the mistakes in this post you get the message, you got his
This can only be fixed through the help of GOD! No 1 hour long show, no 1 hour long session can fix anyone's problems! Talk shows need drama to keep existing, I don't agree with such T. V. shows such as this! Dr. Phil, Wendy Williams, and none of the rest is really meant to help people's situations, especially when the problem has existed for years! Healing can come but the hurt has to come first! Much bitterness will come out, but without the bitterness healing can not take place! Each individual has to be mature enough to face the problem, they must be willing to hear one another and be honest with one another and respect the fact that this is how we all feel, and definitely not make excuses! Anything broken can be fixed, but with willing minds! Stay off these shows and turn to JESUS, HE'S our answer to any problem!
This can only be fixed through the help of GOD! No 1 hour long show, no 1 hour long session can fix anyone's problems! Talk shows need drama to keep existing, I don't agree with such T. V. shows such as this! Dr. Phil, Wendy Williams, and none of the rest is really meant to help people's situations, especially when the problem has existed for years! Healing can come but the hurt has to come first! Much bitterness will come out, but without the bitterness healing can not take place! Each individual has to be mature enough to face the problem, they must be willing to hear one another and be honest with one another and respect the fact that this is how we all feel, and definitely not make excuses! Anything broken can be fixed, but with willing minds! Stay off these shows and turn to JESUS, HE'S our answer to any problem!
The way I see it is the damage has already been done. Even if her father changes it too much for one man. She just want u to heal.. and if there's any money to get she still has to split it 34 ways..
The only people who can hold him accountable are the women and children and Iyanla repeatedly practically begged them to do so. Only the son was interested in addressing his father about his behavior and absence in his life. Sounds like the girls want their share of the spotlight now that their father is "a household name" albeit for very horrible reasons.
On the show the young lady was very nonchalant when she had the chance to confront her dad. Iyanna asked if there was anything that she wanted to say, she casually mentioned that it was too late and she does not wanted anything to do wth her dad. They all agreed on the couch and iyannna confirmed before asking him if he loves them enough to leave them alone, he hesitated and finally agreed. She never objected!
Fixing this man would be better in castrating him ! To be honest hes a horrible representation of a human. and further Anyone who agrees to allow TV to fix their problems truly don't deserve to have their issues resolved. to believe there owed a solution through this venue is ridiculous. Sad truly sad!
Well it's called fix my life. These people have these shows and they. Get paid due to their ratings. I Think the best therapy is to sit down with your parents, each party should commit to being honest and they should work it out. It shouldn't be on tv I the firstplace and these talk shoe host probably have more garbage than all of us. I don't believe
As an Lovechild myself,...Not seeing my father for the first 18 yrs, Now 56. and he died in 2001
I forgave him,.hurt, yes but not hateful. I gave him a chance to be a grandfather to his only child's children. He did good. And Im glad I forgave him. In Time all wounds will heal,..the pain will stop. But the scar serves only as a reminder. It will take time ,.hes been confronted, hes admitted,.then he'll change..and so will the children if they forgive.
of course the show is about exploiting the "participants" for ratings otherwise it wouldn't be on TV. If she truly cared she would do the same thing without the "network" and just do it to help.
Everyone who has a show on TV no matter what the moniker is about the money, fame and glory.
The show is called ilyanla fix my life now people and when your dealing with kids you have to accommodate them on their level, if you tell them that you are going to do something then, you have to do the damn thang...
I feel like the show is a fraud! All they're doing is making money off of people's life problems. Why haven't they aired their dirty laundry. I don't condone what the fater is doing, no more than Iyliana. She pretends to be a life coach when truth is all of us have issues. People kill me always trying to fix others. Fix your damn self!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The father aint nothing but a hoe having all that unprotected. Sex and the baby mama are just as stupid believing his lies n dreams when clearly. He was just using them for they goodies...... He doesn't. Deserve. No sympathy, i hate that. The kids have to suffer. Because of his stupidity. N the women.stupidity, he probably have vd n everything else in his blood stream... Just horrible n sad, iyana is trying to educate him, n show him how the fatherless kids are feeling, n the women. That give they body to a man, believing. In him n those lies, n in turn they have to raise the children. That they carried for 9 months, gave birth. To destroying they body being cut on n have to be sowed back together... Like a doll.... While the man don't. Go through none of that shit, just his dick hard nut n fet the fuck on to the next... Just stupid n. Stupid,,, he got a special place in hell.waiting on him....
IT IS UP TO YOUR PARENT TO FIX YOUR FAMILY. YOUR PARENTS MADE THE CHOICE TO BRING YOU INTO THE WORLD. THE SHOW IS ONLY TAKEN, THE BLINDERS OF PEOPLE'S EYE TO THE CHOICES THEY ARE MAKING,WHEN IT COMES TO FATHERING CHILDREN. ONE SHOULD NOT HAVE 34 KIDS, IF YOU CAN'T PROVIDE FOR THEM OR GIVE THEM THE ATTENTION, THE CHILD NEEDS. THE SHOW IS TRYING TO OPEN THE EYES TO BLACK MEN, WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND WHY THEY CONTINUE TO DO THIS TO THERE CHILDREN. HISTORY DOES NOT HAVE TO BE REPEATED, BUT IF YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR HISTORY, YOU WILL REPEAT EVERY MISTAKE YOUR FORE FATHERS MADE. MEN NEED TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE TO WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO THERE, CHILDREN. WE HAVE A LOT OF ANGRY CHILDREN IN THIS WORLD AND THAT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE FATHER'S INVOLVED IN THERE LIFE. THESE MEN ARE SO WRONG AND IT IS GETTING WORSE. HOW SELFISH CAN A PERSON BE, SAD......THE SAME GOES TO WOMEN WHO DO THE SAME THING .
At 26 one should be able to understand that no human can be "fixed". We can only be enlightened to our choices- and understand the consequences that were brought before us- do to our own actions (or inactions). You and your 33 siblings were the consequences-and it's unfortunate. But what we do now with that is we move forward, in life as I can imagine you've had to. Forget the ideal that he will be changed into this loving, attentive father figure and grow to know the signs of dealing with people like him. Learn to take a step back and know a man who can deal with commitment. Someone dedicated to partnership and fatherhood. There are so many absentee dads! Its so sad but you can be one who dwells and learns to place blame(as being done to Iyanla) or you can become stronger in knowing that he is who is and dont let it affect you.
these stupid shows make money for the networks and are not intended to fix broken families issues .
Why doesn't she feel her mother is partially responsible? Some women we are quick to blame men when they don't stick around, but you knew he had other children he wasn't caring for. This is the perfect example. This man couldn't have this many children by himself. These women chose to keep having children with this man and now the kids are hurt. As women we need to be more thoughtful of who we lay down with and mot just think it feels good. We need to take into consideration that other lives depend on our decisions!
I truly believe Jay and his 34 kids need counseling because he don't know them. We have to pray for this family and allow God to heal them because they are all broken. True facts they have been in this issue for so long. Jay has to learn how to heal with his parents before and can truly be a father to his kids. We as women has to take responsibility for our actions as well.
I think this young lady needs to soon her cannons elsewhere. I don't know if she thought this show was supposed to change everything but I know it's a start. I can't imagine what her and her siblings have been through but Iyanla is helping to expose these brothers ask are doing this BS around the country. If nothing else it's a start and a counter to all this other nonsense in TV involving black men. I'd rather see this than "Maury".
At the end of the day, someone requested her help. She asked people to participate. You had a choice as to whether you wanted to do it or not. She tried he best to get to the root of his issue. In order for anyone to change, he or she must be willing to receive, understand, and accept the truth. From what I watched, many were reluctant to do either and it seemed that pride played a huge role with some. If one can't or refuse to forgive, then they will continue to live the same way. A lot of people are hurting in this whole scenario, but one thing's for sure, everyone wants healing but some aren't willing to put their pride and past aside in order to receive it. This is all my opinion, and you'll either agree or disagree. I pray that you all receive the peace and healing that your hearts desire.
Surely a woman in her twenties knows a formatted television show cannot literally "fix" anyone. Iyanla did a wonderful job sharing this story, helping Jay discover and begin healing old wounds and providing an outlet where those who are directly affected by the decisions made by this man can express themselves honestly without constraints. If Iyanla's attempt to set a family on their path toward forgiveness and reconciliation didn't go over well for Amina, maybe it's because she wasn't/isn't ready to move in that direction. The 'Jay Williams' story has transcended beyond Oprah's network sparking honest dialogue in living rooms (and bedrooms) across America. Kudos to Iyanla for sharing this story. As time goes on may even Amina will receive the healing, resolution and outcome she seeks.
Surely a woman in her twenties knows a formatted television cannot literally "fix" anyone. Iyanla did a wonderful job sharing this story, helping Jay discover and begin healing old wounds and providing an outlet where those who are directly affected by the decisions made by this man can express themselves honestly without constraints. If Iyanla's attempt to set a family on their path toward forgiveness and reconciliation didn't go over well for Amina, may it's because she wasn't/isn't ready to move in that direction. The 'Jay Williams' story has transcended beyond Oprah's network sparking honest dialogue in living rooms (and bedrooms) across America. Kudos to Iyanla for sharing this story. As time goes on may even Amina will receive the healing, resolution and outcome she needs.
Iyanla only visits and airs people and situations that request her. They cannot expect Iyanla or anyone else to solve all of their problems. There are thousands of children that aren't raised with a father. There's is no different but at least they know who their father is.
I pray that his daughter learns from her parents decisions and let's their livelihoods not be hers. She should be determined to make wise decisions when chosing a husband or a man to father her children. She should not feel that it is her fault that she is one of his 33 or 34 children. She has numerous brothers and sisters to embrace and love. She also has a loving grandmother who was also broken. Ayala had them on her show but I have seen Jay on another show about a year ago. She is a beautiful young lady. Live your life girl. Don't cry over spilled milk. Forgive your father for not being there for you and thank the adults that were. I hope and pray that you and Jay establish a relationship. He may be a piece of work but he is still your father. Get to know him for yourself.
Every home has it's own foundation and must support it self through all types of weather some good some bad but stand.some last year's some go on for decades. Just like some are dad's and some are father's. Father's stay around for a lifetime and dad's are around for a season. Just learn dad's mistakes and you'll Last a lifetime
I am a daughter of a man with over 10 children. I was told my dad has 15 or more children. I have no idea but I do know the oldest is 51 and I am the third and I am 42. My point is I was angry at my dad for so many years not understanding why he had so many children and did absolutely NOTHING for me from the age of 12 or 13 until my late 20's and didn't do much for my other's siblings either except the two he had by his wife. I could never understand why he made the choices that he did. But after watching Iyanla I wish someone could have spoken to my father like she did with Jay and the other men. The fact is Iyanla cannot FIX a man nor his children but whatever help she extended to them (man & children) they should use it to help get to the next phase in life. I'm sure it's not easy for Jay's children. I'm sure they think their father is being a new found celebrity but the fact is this is MUCH bigger than Jay and so many men are hurting from their mistakes and constantly keep making the same mistakes but to face their mistakes and pain is AWESOME!! That's the start of CHANGE. I'm glad Jay wrote Iyanla and asked for help because he was the cause of SO MANY men admitting their problems and seeking help from issues they have been dealing with for a lifetime. I'm not a man but I am a daughter of the same situation. I live in NY and I learned that I had a sister in Florida about 5 or 6 years ago. We are 12 years apart. I'm the oldest and my sister and I talk nearly everyday. We have been following every episode and we have cried along with the men from our pain in the situation. The solution to this problem is finding inner healing within yourself. Don't look for your parent for healing. Pray, seek God for a forgiving heart and watch things change. That's what worked for me and now I have a GREAT relationship with my dad. At the end of the day being bitter will only hurt ourselves. Pray for your dad, love him and move on. My life did not end because of my dad's mistakes. And neither did theirs. Also remember anytime someone signs up for reality show. Things get real. You have to be ready for what comes just know what you're getting into. The fact was the show was meant to help us all especially Jay's family. Trust God everything will be alright.
The only person that can fix people is God. We can not change people, places or things. Go to GOD.
In my opinion Amina isnot right to be upset with a Iyanla and her show. The fact of the matter is I think Iyanla intentions we're good however, at the end of the day her father is a grown man and he and his parents are to blame for all of his shortcomings. I think Amina should definitely rethink blaming the show. God Bless Amina and all of her siblings it's unfortunate we can't choose our parents.
You have to be willing to fix yourself. No one else can do that for you. Others can help to guide and direct you. But it's the individual them self that straightens up and decide to fly right.
The behavior has been going on for years,it's has taken Iyanla and Jay and thorough God to bring it out in the open to be addressed so that healing and repairing can start for men and women and children situation like this....I believe that was no exploitation, just self-realization...acceptation ...
She didn't search him out. Someone came to her.he was to help him then he help himself and he help the kids. But to help the kids ...that's another show. Good luck to you all and please find all your siblings.
I have to agree with the daughter. I am a deadbeat dad to my 1 and only daughter. I made a mistake and put my hand on my daughters Mom. I went to sleep that night and when i woke the next morning they were gone. I was told my family that she would come to see my Grandmother. When my daughter was 7yrs. old i made the trip to my home time and my daughters Mom had a conversation with my wife and when she saw me she took my daughter and left the state. I never saw her again till we found each other on facebook. I don't have but 1 child but sometimes i think she hates the fact that i left her but to this day I never told her this. I didn't want her to think her Mother kept her from me but i did understand why she did it I still love my daughter and after I saw my daughter i went into a deep depression for many years and through IV drugs and unprotected sex I really did nothing to save my own life. I never told anyone this story but i finally have the strength to speak on it by this young lady telling the world about how a daughter feels. I would give up my life for her to love me but she is the only one that can make the choice. I wish I could turn back the hands of time but we know that this is going to be impossible, what i want is her her to know that no matter how long it has been I will always LOVE her til the day I die and then until the end of time. I still have a photo of the day she took her first step. She is grown and has her own kids and she loves them the same way i wish i had a chance to love her. PLEASE let this young lady get a chance to tell her Father how she feels and then they will have a chance to move on with her life with some sort of opening or closure it will help her heal and move on or learn to love her father, the choice will be hers.
I believe Ms.Iyanla show only gives us a glimpse of what's happening with a family. These 34 children are damaged. They have to find some peace and love themselves because they don't have the ability to change another person. They can only learn to forgive him of his ignorance and find peace within their own lives. The show has been a great eye opener for the consequences of leaving your children and the domino effect it has on generations. People have to love themselves in order to love another. It's sad to me that so many don'tknow how to love themselves.
Iyanla is not Jesus boo, she can't recover what he did in the past. Girl bye! She can't force ya'll to heal, forgive and understand your father who you come from. She only helped with the process and transition you and many families around the world for free. But of course she will make a fortune on her gift, that a lot folks don't have like Mrs. Iyanla.
You can't fix a sperm donor. the show and Iyanla are just that a show. She is a good speaker, saying all the right thing, yet not helping. What I seen on this topic was not dealing with the real world. You must be in touch with the real world, to see there no hope for someone just making babies. The children were exposed to their feeling and more hurt through this show. He just a sperm donor with not care in the world for the children, that was not fixed.
When people take outrageous steps to cover up their behaviors... to some degree, they already know they are operating in shame. Thus, they sliver around like a snake in the dark betraying the one's they claim to love! When a door of light has been provided to confront YOUR OWN MESS, it is the snake who must take the necessary steps to enter into the light and seek redemption by CHANGING THEIR BEHAVIOR and addressing the hidden causes behind the behavior! He has the sole responsibility to turn from his wicked ways, repent, and be made whole! He has the responsibility to strive from THAT moment forward, to do whatever it takes to show those he has DROPPED.... that he is trying to do the best he can humanly do to redeem himself!
I agree with most of the comments stating the show can't fix anyone's life but is designed to bring real life situations to the forefront. What about the mothers who kept having babies by this man. We as women need to to take responsibility and make better choices about the type b of men we lay down with. We are the ones being left to care for these children. Its anoter learning experience and hopefully someone benefits from the exposure.
Why be mad at her, y'all agree to come on the show, she never said she can fix that situation, key word was TRY, n she's not a miracle worker, that is a huge situation to deal with, if he don't try to make things right, way can she do, really
The show doesn't "fix" people or situations like one fixes cars...it can't!!! Use it for what it is, it gives you the tools you need to at least start fixing on yourself, which is where the real repair takes place, anyway.
I marked yes to the 1st choice, but feel further explanation is necessary. the show is out for ratings and Ms. VanZant is not the end of the story for her dad , the moms, or his children. the children must need ongoing therapy and the father also. he needs to learn to stop this cycle he has kept up for all of these years. it is a deep pathology in him and the women who slept with him knowing his past and present, and continue to sleep with him. but again, the children are innocent in that equation and counseling should probably set up for them that choose to partake.
Sorry to say this but the show did what it implied by its title. The title wasnt Fix the chilsren of the man who fathered 34 children. It was Fix my father. We as a people should know that not any one show will fix anyone, however, OWN and Iyanla did provide him with a stepping stone, now its totally up to hm to figure the rest out.
I loved the show.Five shows will not fix anyone's life. But it sets the tone for healing and it brought awareness to this serious issue of fatherless children of the world. I was in tears and it made me look at my own life and the choices I made....Iyanla said it perfectly :Men you are not studs making babies for the master to sell off to slavery...I would really like to hear from more of the fatherless children and how impacted theirs lifes. Its the children, regardless of age to express themselves so other children can hear them and maybe help them get started on their healing process
I would like to thank the show and all the men, women and children that came to help them start the healing process.I get that they are holding only the men accountable but the women aren't faultless either. For a man to father 34 children with 17 women I don't think they spent alot of quality time together. All of the children born into this mess didn't have any choice but should be asked if they want to meet or have a relationship since their parent can't work things out.
What was discussed on the show was just an introduction to your father's issues, and Iyanla was aware of that. Now what need to happen for your father, you, and your sibblings is long-term counceling.
She did not call your father, he called her. What is it that you want her to do for you and the rest of the clan. Maybe the show will in courage him to get vasectomy and have no more children. Move on and do a better job with your sons and daughter.Bravo to OWN.
The show did receive high ratings and no the show did not contribute to the actions of your father. Your father made poor choices. Your father is responsible for his actions. It is not the responsibility of OWN or Iyanla to provide you or your siblings with peace or closure. You are responsible for how you live YOUR life. YOU are NOT accountable for what your father did or did not do. At this point YOU must decide whether YOU want to communicate with your father..siblings..etc. I have multiple siblings from my father. I am not speaking from a place of limited knowledge..basically in order for YOU to move forward YOU must decide to stop placing blame...live your life...learn who your siblings are...stop blaming and start reunification...Family ..honesty..and LOVE are important;however LOVE is the most important factor...Love yourself first...everything else will follow
I think that because of your pain, you missed the point. I encourage you to open your heart and mind. Think beyond your personal pain.
You have to start somewhere,somehow.Be open and give your father the benefit of the doubt and trust that it is all for the Good and in time wounds will be healed.....Peace and blessings
It took years for things to get to this point with him and all the kids, its going to take years or maybe his lifetime to fix things with the children and some may never be fixed because the kids are too hurt like this daughter. Iyana and OWN want a show that is interesting and they can provide guidance to this man but the application of those lessons are up to him and whom he interacts with. I don't think she took on the job to fix 35 folks, just one so he could try to fix his relationship with the 34 kids and possibly their mothers.
I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU WERE EXPLOITED, YOU IMAGINED THAT YOU WOULD COME OUT OF THIS EXPERIENCE WITH SOME FINANCIAL GAIN.
Iyanla did not call on him to do his story, He called her. I believe she did the best she could, I believe it was more than most would have done for him...so get over it.
They are young adults. I can imagine their feelings of vulnerability @ being exposed like this. I can't call it right or wrong....just rather naïve. I could go on & on, but I won't. But....I would like to know what they think of their mothers in the equation.
My dad is in the same league but I love him with all my heart, a parent is the greatest thing next to GOD and I take it, must at all times be respected and revered cause I am because of them no matter how flawed they've been or appear to be.
The mere fact that I am alive - is tribute to them and I can never see myself critizing my parent!
My very essence is them and I did a few times criticise my dad and was bitter and I've been chiding myself ever since cause the birth of any child is in itself a wonder - no matter the circumstances!
My advise... Appreciate your dad while you still have him, because once he is not there you will realize he is the best dad you can ever have, love him, adore him and enjoy having so many siblings..
First of all, they all knew what the content of the show would be about and they had every right to opt out if they felt they were going to expolited. Secondly, that seem like a personal issue she have with her father and does not have the right to blame someone of the intentions to help her family start the healing process. The process will never end because; its a lot of people who are involve. Finally, why Iyanla have to be at fault for starting the process, she never placed words in her father mouth or make him shed tears when he knew he was guilty for all those children he could not afford to take care of. When you get on shows like that, you are inviting the world in and whatever the outcome is you have to live with that. Its almost like signing your name to a contract for a job you don't like going to everyday. You were not aired on the show for whatever reasons you choose not to be but now you have made a public statement about the show regarding your father. Well, you have your 15sec of fame.
Young lady im sorry you feel the way you do but in all reality Ms.Vanzant is not the problem. Your dad and you need to just accept what you can't change and move on. You need to understand the healing process before she can assume it did't help. What do she want to happen? She need to address her own issues and realize that she is not her dad or her mom and she has the opportunity to make a difference in her own life. Truly she can seek God and have a forgiving heart. we all have to face God for things done in this life. I wish her well and peace.
They always making a shoe about something just straight bullshit
There's 34 reasons your father must get right but the main reason is for himself. Iyanla can only suggest him to deal with he's choices than the choice is solely his. He fathered so many with 17 women which doesn't include the ones that choose not to be apart of his madness or the ones that abort. Can we just talk about the possibility of diseases? There's only a small gesture that can be made yup change a long time problem. If she's doing well with her life minus her father.... continue by forgiving her father and her mother. Live your life girl and by all means make different choices.
They should pay for his ass to have a vasectomy.
Your father is his own demon and it's his responsibility to get right and make the best of the start the show gave him. He called the show!
I would label this show Reality TV at its core. I was surprised that so many women are willing to accept a very small piece instead of PEACE. The show made me feel grateful that my mother and grandmother favored PEACE.
The additional episodes were beneficial to the men I hope. The relationship between slavery and childbearing is real. However, if individually men and women don't realize the damage to the children. These situations will continue to erode our family culture.
It would benefit all of these people to seek the comfort of a higher power. It is senseless to count on man or woman for your happiness or PEACE.
Ms. Vanzant is equiped to guide, teach and empower those who choose to listen and embrace the empowerment that is within all of us. Utilize the serenity prayer and put your children before man or woman.
Well, Mr. Jay DID ask Iyanla to help HIM. Sometimes it isn't so easy to "fix" someone who doesn't accept responsibility for his/ her actions. You FIRST have to make up YOUR mind and WANT to change, otherwise it's to no avail.
I don't think you where exploited either the thing was to some help for your dad and all these women that were broken and let down the majority of them knew each other so this was definitely a 17 way street so please don't just blame your dad or ms.vanzant this is very common in our culture to not feel that we as long as we have a man an bo matter how many others he is committed to.Make sure that you don't end up in a situation like this because history has a way of repeating itself.HIS-STORY (
The show didnt reveal a dead beat father...it revealed the hurt the reason why he wasn't able to commit to one woman and when he made promises to these women they believed him because they were searching for some type of emotional connection they were missing...and let me say this I went on a u must check out the show campaigne..it was deep it helped someone..it saved someones life..it encouraged a man that was running to stop and say this ain't what I need it ain't good for me..to live like this...so I applaude her for teaching giving AMD awareness of knowledge..if it wasn't effected to u or on u..u r in denial and running...
How do you feel you were exploited? It was a sibling that ask for your life to be fixed. Unless you made a contract that says your family of 34 should get a cut of the ratings. You are asking help to fix your life...nah i disagree you were not exploited...