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Storm - 14 years ago
Hi honey!, ... Hope your day is off to a good start. It is cloudy and cool here which is most welcome. You are so darn funny! You never fail to make me laugh! Well, I might not be able to do some things Brokeback style, but I am able and capable of kissing you very passionately like Heath Ledger's character 'Ennis Del Mar' kissed Jake Gyllenhaal's character 'Jack' after 5 years of not being together. Wait and see, I'll show you come January! Yeah, Rickey has always liked Archuletta it would seem. I had no idea who would win between the two of them, and I had no favorite, so it didn't matter to me who won. I really loved talking to you for the first time on the phone last night, and as soon as you know your new email address, get it to me, and we won't have to talk on here anymore. Love you, babe.
M - 14 years ago
Not sure what kissing passionately "Brokeback Style" means. Not sure you have the requisite apparatus to do anything 'Brokeback style', ma dear. J looks for reasons to touch me: hug, kiss, hold me...though he is good not doing it in public because that annoys me (except for the last time I arrived home from a trip...he hugged me in front of my place and kissed me on the cheeks, chin, lips...not passionate...just pecks. I didn't mind as I was very happy to see him and very happy to be home). ! Meant to ask you...I notice David Archuletta is a big topic still for Rickey. He seems to love posting about this kid. Must be a huge fan, if I remember correctly. Back during Idol 8...did you ever ponder Who Will Win American Idol? I thought for sure Cook...and he did. Many disagreed.
Storm - 14 years ago
I like spontaneity and going with the mood and the flow of what I see my lover's eyes. There are moments that feel like I want to slam you against a wall and kiss you passionately Brokeback style. There would be moments I want to brush my fingers down the side of your face and just gaze into your eyes. There would be moments I just want you to lay on your stomach so I could gently tickle and brush my fingers down your back and elsewhere. And yes, if you make me laugh, I may want to spontaneously kiss you or squeeze your hand. I think there are moments between a couple when affection may be wanted or needed, and other moments when it is good to give the other person room to breathe, and not cling too tightly. I love passion and intensity and I've got to have that, otherwise ... I may fall away if you know what I mean. I want to feel the fire with my lover. I already know that would be in place with you. I can feel it across the time and space that separate us. So what do you think about that, my little jelly bean?
M - 14 years ago
I don't mind affection being showered on me...it is rather nice sometimes...if I am feeling down, had a bad day, etc. I am just not like that myself. I am usually only affectionate during lovemaking. I rarely initiate hand holding and only hold hands when my mate grabs mine first...I never initiate the obligatory 'hello' or 'goodbye' cheek pecks. Sometimes I'll say something stupid, silly or random...and then laugh....and then J will look at me and kiss me on the cheek or brush his hand aside my face...just make an affectionate gesture. Kind of funny really......are you like that? Dude loves to touch me and I don't really mind it as much these days.
Storm - 14 years ago
I guess Jeffery and I have yet another thing in common as I am quite affectionate and love human touch if it comes from someone I immensely like. I'm beginning to think he is my long lost twin! LOL I loved the romantic words he expressed about you on his twitter. I use to write poems in my teens and twenties. I've always had a love affair for 'words' and the power and emotions they can express when strung together in a heartfelt or ingenious way, and I could tell Jeffery is very intelligent and talented with 'words' and expressing himself. Yet one more thing to admire about the guy. I love giving full body massages, starting with the feet, ... and working my way up. I think you would like my touch. I think you would like my feel. I think you would like what I do to you. I think you will like my eyes and my smile. I think you will like how deep I can go and what I can do with my mouth! :)
M - 14 years ago
Maybe J can come over and kiss your boo boo...Oops...wrong spot! Never mind :) I am not a very affectionate, 'touchy-feely' type person. J is. He loves to hug, touch, give little pecks...more hugs. If you met him for the first time...he would hug you. That's him. I am not this way. Of course I would hug you upon meeting you because we know one another. ...but never a stranger at first meeting. So, if J tells me he has a sore neck or sore back, I will tell him to take Advil. I t would not occur to me to massage him unless he requests it specifically ...or if I think it will lead to sex. Otherwise, I'd prefer not to touch him for no reason. But I looooooooove receiving massages EVERYWHERE on my body...if you know what I mean..........
Storm - 14 years ago
LOL Well, I'm jealous! hahaha I wish I had someone to kiss and rub my boo boos. That would have come in so handy a couple of weeks ago! :) You are truly lucky to be so pampered. It's been years since I even had someone give me a back rub. I have a shiatsu machine with two rotating balls that I lean up against in my leather chair to loosen tight and sore muscles in my back and neck. Not nearly as good as human touch, but better than nothing. How is your day going so far? Any sign of that hussy yet? :)
M - 14 years ago
Ha ha! You and J have more in common than I first thought...his car is a 911 Carrera GTS. It is pretty cool looking (if you are into that kind of thing--I am not), it sits fairly low to the ground which I do not like; and makes little sense as a city car since speed is greatly limited by the traffic. J is loaded so probably just wanted to buy himself a toy. So now you know why the ding repair was so outrageous. The car is 2010 and has less than 10K miles. Anyway...as you can tell, I am not into cars.
Of course J tried rubbing my neck...he always looks for reasons to touch me. If I say anything hurts, or is sore he gets all excited. I am sure you can guess what a neck rub and back rub leads to...EVERY time! No exceptions.
Storm - 14 years ago
I have to say that doesn't surprise me in the least about Jeffery. He is so in love with you, that he would buy you the moon and give it to you on a silver platter if he could. What kind of sports car is he driving? With that kind of bill, it must have been made on the moon! LOL I can't imagine being without my car. It is a 2007 Hyundai Tiburon in a really pretty ice blue/silver metallic. It looks like a Porsche and gets lots of looks, and is great fun for cruising in. I have yet to have any dings or scratches on it. I park at the far end of parking lots to keep it away from other vehicles, as people aren't always careful about slamming their doors open against other vehicles, plus I like walking. Did J try rubbing your neck to relax you? I don't know how you can function on such little sleep. I would be banging into walls!
M - 14 years ago
I am not angry at my mom. I know she just loves me. She has a hard time staying angry at me...she loves me too much. She'll call in a day or two and while she won't apologize...she'll be very sweet and she'll let me know that she loves me...in her way. I think she said her piece. My neck is very stiff still, but I have been taking Advil for the pain. I think it is stress combined with a lack of sleep. I gave up my company car as I never used it...it was sitting in a parking garage collecting fees.IF I need a car for driving somewhere out of the city, I rent one. I generally take a cab to work...do not like the subway. Sometimes J will drop me if he is to be in the office that morning...but usually I leave too early for him. Occasionally I take J's car...but since I dinged it, I have not been requesting to use it. He doesn't care. It bothered me because it was a brand new, very pricey sports car and I hit it and caused a small dent (it was in perfect condition). Insurance won't pay...but J said "no big deal, hon...accidents happen. It won't cost much to fix". Told him I'd [pay (I figured it would be around 2 grand to repair). Of course I demanded that I reimburse him. Well, he never gave me a bill and when I asked him about it he said "Oh forget about it..it was not that expensive, I don't even remember what it cost for the repair". But, then a couple of weeks later, I found a bill in the kitchen for $6,800! Remind me never to buy an expensive car. Wrote him a check...and he refused to deposit it and left it on my desk voided. He said that the repair bill was "no big deal". That's J for you.....
Storm - 14 years ago
I've been wondering, ... how do you get to and from work since you don't have your company car anymore, and how long does it take you to get there? I hope you don't have far to go, .. heavy traffic is never fun to deal with.
Storm - 14 years ago
You handled your mom well, with honesty and frankness, and that is admirable. She is coming from a place of love in her heart for you and just wanting 'her version' of what she thinks you need in your life. It's going to take her perhaps a long time to realize you are not someone who can be happy living the so called traditional straight life. You have to be who you are and live in your own truth and true self, and she has the choice to accept that or not. If she doesn't accept that, then sad to say, it is not your problem, but hers. I still say that if Jeffery stays in your life long enough, she will eventually accept him, but she will probably always carry the wish that you spend your life with a good and loving woman that will take good care of you and Daniel. She is traditional and living her life being true to herself. She just happens to believe her way should be the way for everyone else! LOL She's a sweetie! :) How is your neck and shoulder, ... still sore? I must either be having sympathy pains with or for you, 'cause I woke up in the wee hours with my neck and left shoulder feeling very sore and in pain. No matter how I tried to lay, I couldn't get comfortable and couldn't get back to sleep, so I finally gave up and got up at 5:30 this morning. My shoulder still hurts. I wish you were here to rub it and something else! :)
M - 14 years ago
Ooh...all of a sudden 'willy' is becoming 'Big Willy'! Better sit behind my desk for a little bit. Would you believe that I didn't sleep at all last night? No kidding...I never should have had that cup of tea...but I , literally, could not keep my head up during the day yesterday and I needed something to pick me up and get me through the afternoon. Big mistake! . I am very sensitive to caffeine...it keeps me awake for hours and makes me even more hyper-active. Poor J...I was getting out of bed every hour turning the TV on...reading ...pacing trying to get rid of my energy...of course I tried the fun way too...but never got tired after my orgasm. I'll be 'down for the count' by 8:00 pm tonight. J didn't get much sleep either, thanks to me. At 4:00 am he was so frustrated he went to the study to sleep. Poor dude. J is coming to London with me for the first 3-4 days while I settle in. My mother is flying in and staying at my place to be with bro. She is not very happy about the arrangement. She asked me last night "why is it that a wealthy, single, entrepreneur would want to spend time helping to care for a disabled adult male, don't you find that rather strange?" I asked her what she was alluding to in her question. She claimed "nothing at all...but haven't you asked yourself why he would he agree to do this?" I told her the following: "Mom, I do not have to ask myself why J is so charitable...there are many reasons. Firstly, he was raised by Mormon missionaries so his charitable outlook and practices are somewhat ingrained in him. Daniel's caregiver cares for him most of the time except for evenings when she needs to be home or when Daniel is at work. J just hangs with Daniel so he won't be alone only when his caregiver cannot be there. J is very devoted to me..and whether or not I share the same devotion is not relevant to this conversation. The dude would do what he can to make me happy. Just a fact." She paused and then quipped "Does he know that you are not gay?" "Yes, Mom, he knows I am bisexual". "Then are you leading him on by doing all of those THINGS with him?" "No, Mom, because I enjoy those THINGS too." "Micheal, I would appreciate it if you would not be so graphic when describing your relationship with that man". "Okay, mom, then don't ask me anymore personal questions.". CLICK from the other end. LOL...I still her love her though!i
Storm - 14 years ago
It would be absolutely impossible for me to hate you, no matter how weak, cranky, or ornery you may decide to be! I know you would be wise to leave 'willy' in the skillful and able hands of Jeffery or me! :) No one else would love him 'long time' and as lovingly so as he and I! ;)
M - 14 years ago
Ha ha! Pitiful? I agree she does not give me that sexual energy vibe and I do not get the feeling that she is an able and intense lover. Not sure she would know how to please my 'willy'. Well...if I have a weak moment or a lapse in judgment, , I will be sure to conveniently forget to tell you, Sheila and J about it as I think you would all hate me!
Storm - 14 years ago
Yippee! Just found out The Event is coming on now ( 8pm ) and Hawaii Five-O at 9pm! No confict! I use to watch the old Hawaii Five-O when I was a kid, and I loved that show! Book 'em Dannel! LOL
Storm - 14 years ago
Please banish that last thought you had! You have Jeffery to blow you and she would do a pitiful job anyway next to how good he is at it! :) YES! Do ignore her PLEASE! She is all desperate to come up with any flimsy excuse now to see you, so whatever she wants, it's all bogus. And you don't want to upset Jeffery right before you leave! She will be showing up at your office tomorrow anyway to try to corner you into lunch with her or some other plot she is trying to entrap you in believe me! I bet Jeffery can help you with that hyperactivity and put it to good use! LOL There is a storm going on outside at the moment and the lightning is scary. It's right above me! I'm looking forward to watching the new shows on tonight, especially Hawaii Five-O and The Event. I think they both come on at the same time and that sucks. I'll be flipping back and forth. I don't have Tevo. I hate lightning! I'm home alone and it's scaring me! What was that bad storm like that came through NYC and tore roofs off with a tornado? Was it hitting hard where you were?
M - 14 years ago
I had to drink a cup of tea to liven up...now I am hyperactive and won't sleep this evening...LOL..a double-edged sword! I think Beatrice is history...in fact, I am quite certain. She is a very passionate and intense person, yet, on the phone she sounded depressed and defeated. She is also very proud and I think it is unlike her to be so mellow and sedate...I think she was resigned to the fact that we were most definitely history; and so now is the best time to completely put an end to it. I feel okay about it now. I think she has accepted that, given the choice, I would choose J over her. And I would. I did. Tara...who the fuck knows. I am not interested in her. I think I will try to ignore her until I have to leave. What do you think? ?? That she is going to try to corner me like last years intern and blow me? Actually...maybe I wouldn't mind that so much...hmmmmm.
Storm - 14 years ago
Meant to say 'next' , not ' net '. :)
Storm - 14 years ago
You are just so damn cute! "shallow sonovabitch." hahahahaha Too funny! LOL Jeffery will never leave you again, but he may decide to shut a door a little harder than usual if you piss him off! LOL I'm kidding as you know! He doesn't even seem to lose his temper very much. I can't imagine anything making him walk out the door. It's not to say you won't have your disagreements, but he knows better than to ever walk out the door on you now. He knows you won't pursue him, and he is so in love with you, that nothing will drive him away unless you sleep with another man. Even then, like you mentioned before, it would crush him but he still wouldn't leave unless you plan to sleep with that guy again. I think that is the only thing that would do you in, and make him leave. Why am I not surprised at what Tara is doing? It is all a made up excuse with an ulterior motive to patch things up with you and get back in your good graces so she can once again pursue you. I'm sure of it, and I think the biggest thing she is trying to salvage at this point is her planned trip to come see you in London. She will see that now as her biggest chance to seduce you since you will be away from Jeffery. Why not just call her on the phone tonight and ask her, "What's up? What do you need?" She is just looking for a way to spend time with you and try to get seductive and cozy with you. If she asks if she can come see you in London, I would suggest telling her, " No, Jeffery will be coming to see me." She just doesn't take a hint very well. You may be right about Bea. She is very jealous of Jeffery and how he has taken up your life, and she definitely felt her hold on you slip to an all time low when you didn't give her the new email. I am willing to predict that somewhere down the road she will make contact with you out of the blue to test the waters with you and to find out if you are still with Jeffery. I know she has no intention of leaving you alone. She's just trying to make you miss her, and she wants Jeffery gone. That's the bottom line. I suggest you honor her request not to call her, and I bet you in no time she will find an excuse to call you up. Mark my words! I'm a woman. I know! You may not realize it, but I'm a huge asset to you because I will reveal to you how women think, and 9 times out of 10 I bet I'm right in what their net move is. Watch and see! :)
M - 14 years ago
Was that first sentence utilizing a double negative? Oh horror! I must really be sleep deprived!
M - 14 years ago
Not so sure that J would never leave again....give the dude a little time. Lest we forget that J already did leave me once recently. Remember? And a few years back when we dated casually for a few weeks....we got close rather quickly and then I wore on his nerves....I will take the blame....and he said something like.."let's not date anymore since you seem intent on bringing me down and pushing me away"...I replied "okay, that's fine". He then referred to me as a "shallow sonovabitch." LOL! Though later he claimed that this was the biggest mistake and regret of his life--not giving us a chance. LOL! So...he left me twice already ma dear...I am assuming it will be a third time at some point. I am curious to hear 'all-knowing's' opinion! Tara sent me an e-mail this morning(unfortunately there is not way of getting around her not having my e-mail since she works for the company). She requested we get together and talk beforeI leave for London. She added that she required my "input and expertise" on several important issues. Hmmmmmmm...now I am curious! Speaking of e-mail...I think I might know why Bea was so cold and upset when I talked to her last week. She mailed me a bill for the decorator's services/fees and purchases (OUCH!)..and attached a note reading "sorry for this coming to you via regular mail, but since I no longer am privy to your e-mail, I was not able to scan it and send it electronically. My best to you, always...Beatrice". My e-mail address changed again around a month ago as my company has received reduced federal funding (fo r reasons to mundane to go into...) and is now a dot com, not a dot org. So, all of the employees addresses changed and we had to restructure our mainframe...etc. So, she, apparently tried e-mailing me (she had my old address since she did work with our company). She found out it was defunct and called me for my new address. I told her that I no longer give t out and only use it for work...I explained that it is too difficult for me to communicate and I get very obsessed and I did not egt work done when I had to e-mail...I have very little self-control...so I made a blanket policy. Other than work access, my mom has it and bro has it. Then she asked me if J had it...I told her "of course because he takes case of bro and in case of an urgent situation, he may need to contact me". He has only sent me an e-mail one time that I could remember. Bea was upset and almost shocked and said "I mean that little to you"? I told her "no, but to function I need to adhere to a strict, no exceptions policy". So, anyway...I think that pushed her a bit over the edge. I have a very sore shoulder and neck pain. thinks it is stress and lack of sleep (I slept 2 hours last night and 3 the prior night). He promised me a message...which generally leads to "you know what". I am not sure my body can handle that in it's current state, LOL! HELP!
Passionate About You - 14 years ago
"I was lost in the valley of pleasure. I was lost in the infinite sea. I was lost and begging for pleasure. And this world is waiting for me.."-MM version
Storm - 14 years ago
Good Morning Handsome, ... You are so funny! You could tell Jeffery the most awful things, and I picture him looking at you adoringly and saying, " Okay babe, what would you like for dinner tonight?" LOL I really think you would have to make an extreme effort to get him to walk out on you. You have finally met your match! LOL Wild horses couldn't drag him away from you. I'm just extremely happy he takes such good care of you and Daniel and is such a good genuine person. It would have sucked if he was less than an honorable man and everyone could see that but you, but you could not have chosen a better person than him to enter your life and help you out. I feel certain that no matter what happens down the road, you two will always be the best of friends and that is golden. I've got to do up bills today and do some running around, then maybe I'll have some fun and hang out at Barnes & Noble for awhile. I love book browsing and they have those comfortable cushy chairs to relax in. One time I fell asleep in there! I woke up to a girlfriend laughing at me. Whatever boring book put me to sleep, be assured I didn't buy it! LOL Well, honey, I hope you have a fantabulous day that is Tara-free! :) And know that you always put a smile on my face every time I hear from you ..... ~~~ Would love to hear how your day went later on or if you want to talk about anything, don't hesitate, okay?
M - 14 years ago
LOL--not sure J would literally "die" for me...he likes himself a little too much. I honestly felt that J was very attracted to me from the beginning (remember, we dated a couple of years ago, briefly...and had remained friends), but since we saw each other now and then on a friendly basis...I had the feeling he was still interested in me. Yes, he told me he was only interested in casual sex as well...but when he requested to fly out w/ mend keep me company When I was traveling to the West Coast and other locales early on in our 'relationship'...it should have been an indicator that he felt more deeply than he claimed. I admit, I am not sure how I feel. I don't want to let him go right now. I do not want to nor plan to date anyone in London...not interested. Relationships take energy, time and cause stress....even the casual ones. J is pretty low key and tolerates me well. Don't feel like dealing with another needy or demanding or 'smitten' person in my life. I know that sounds horrid and selfish...and it is. I need to focus on work and bro...and J, to some degree I suppose. Fear not...I am sure I will do something soon top piss him off and send him packing, LOL! Hope that it is not before I leave for London...now THAT would suck!
Storm - 14 years ago
You make perfect sense, honey. You have much on your plate to deal with. I think your relationship with Jeffery has grown very complex and complicated from what you first wanted it to be. Starting with the fact that there were to be no real feelings involved, and from the beginning he claimed to go along with that, but you surely recognize now that his feelings for you were intact from the very first day, and sure, they've grown even stronger now to where he wishes you would commit solely to him. He may not come right out and say that, but you know that's true. He will never be the one to break up with you, .. he's too in love and too devoted and smitten with you. Remember, "He would die 4 you!" :) I rather agree with you that London will give you time to sort things out in your head about him. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and I predict you will miss him like hell the first few weeks anyway, if not longer. You mentioned that you already have some friends in London, ... any of them likely to become lovers? You may meet someone new over there as well. Those British accents are pretty sexy, ... at least to my ears! LOL You will figure it all out as the time goes by. The only compass you need is to always be true to yourself, and I know you will. :) .. Love you, babe.
M - 14 years ago
J, generally, has very poor taste in music...sorry to say. I think he is not a rock music fan like you or like Bea...but more of a dance music or pop music fan. I mean...that song was probably popular when he was 5...sounds like early 80's...but I really liked it. Isn't Prince dance music? Not sure. Of course I have heard of him, but could not name one of his songs. I am leaving on the 30th...but coming home that second weekend for the long Columbus Day Holiday. You write that I "must be thinking about all of this"...but in truth, I am not. I am too busy to allow my mind to focus on emotional stuff right now. I am a dude so I often avoid or ignore situations I do not feel like dealing with at any given moment. But....J did happen to mention something about this very recently. He conveniently mentioned that he got such a great deal on his apartment rental because he negotiated an extended lease for a cut rate. So he has the place leased for 2 years and paid 6 months rent in advance, plus 2 months security. He tells me he negotiated a sub-let clause in his lease. In other words, he can sub- let it himself to a third party if he is not to live there. Sneaky little devil, huh? LOL! He said he can move in there at any time or stay with me..it was my call. I told him that since it was not furnished I don't know how he can move in within a couple of days notice and that I would give him at least 30 days to be fair...he tells me his designer/decorator can furnish it within 24 hours if he is wiling to pay mucho $$ for him (decorator) to do that (and J has the $$ too!). I think he would prefer to stay with me. I understand that. I guess I need to talk to him seriously about this. I am torn though. Since I am moving it doesn't matter much now...but something should be settled upon my return. He hinted that he would love for bro and I to come live with him. I told him outright-- "no". His place is nicer, larger ...but I do not like feeling dependent on anyone. I need to live in MY place. I expect things will change during my absence , in some form. To be very honest...I don't think I can go more than a day without having sex with him and he has pretty much moved into my bedroom ...I admit I like it. But, I need this break I think. It will make things clearer for me. I expect for J as well...he may realize that he needs something else and he may be the one who wants a separation from me when I return from London...who knows! I am very conflicted and confused and the stress of relocating is not helping me to make good decisions in my personal life. Does this make sense?
Storm - 14 years ago
I just read the lyrics to that Prince song, and I can easily see the verses that fit you, .. and they really do. You are indeed a very unique and special human being, my precious one, and there is no one else on this Earth quite like you. That I am sure of! There are two other songs I've got bookmarked that I listen to a lot that I think you would like. They're very sweet with nice melodies and words. One of them is, ... 'I Go Crazy' by Paul Davis and the other one is by Linda Ronstadt and is called 'Someone To Lay Down Beside Me'. Check them out and let me know if you like them. I'm glad you liked 'Magnet and Steel'. Hope you had time to enjoy your Sunday. I imagine this week ahead of you will be extremely busy as this month is coming to a close fast. Are you leaving on the 30th? I truly hope you will be able to reach this site from over there so we can keep in contact during the time you are gone. Have you ever had the conversation with Jeffery yet as to his plans with the apartment he put a deposit down on? You and I both know he isn't going to want to move out of your place or spend one day without you in it, so I'm wondering how you feel about this situation. Do you want him to keep living with you when you get back from London? You must be thinking about all of this. I know you are feeling pretty close to him right now, but many things could change for you by the time 3 months roll by. If he lets that apartment go, and I bet he wants to, then like Sheila said, you'll never get him to move out. What do you think you will want him to do?
M - 14 years ago
So sorry...guess I misunderstood your message. When you asked me if a person with a dick and a pussy would "turn me on" I thought you were inferring that somehow it would. Not sure why...because if anything, it would make me feel rather 'turned-OFF', if anything...... and then when you wrote "lucky ducks" I guess I was a bit taken aback as I feel these people are genetic anomalies...mutations, if you will ...and they should not be exploited for perversion. And if someone has a dick and balls...whether or not they have hormone-induced breast tissue ..they are MALE....not "a beautiful looking, stunning women with gorgeous breast and a penis"...If they have a penis...they are male! They are cross-dressing 'trannies' or 'transexuals'. Don't consider them female solely because that is what they wish. Sorry...that's how I feel. I liked the song yous net to me "Magnet and Steel"--never heard it before but I thought it was sweet with a nice tune. You and J are going to kill me w/ your dedications. He gave me one yesterday as well (are you two in cahoots or something...as he has not sent me one since the last break-up when he sent me those 2 or 3 bad songs in a row). I really liked the one he sent me this time...never heard it before "I Would Die 4 U" by Prince. God...some (not all) of the lyrics I could have sent to him. He told me he has always felt like this was the song he would sing to me...but never had the balls to do it. We got into a little disagreement last night because he wanted me to bring him to the professional dinner meeting I had last night (the invitation included a 'guest'). I opted to go single and he felt neglected. He is over it now. I don't hide my sexuality...but I don't like to constantly explain to people that I am not gay, but bi...and that J and I are not exclusive...it is too much and too overwhelming. I fucked him pretty good last night so I think he recovered from the rebuff.
Storm - 14 years ago
I'm not looking for anything wild, ... never was. There were only really those two threesome events in my life that were pretty spontaneous happenings, and I was curious and open minded enough to want to find out what that kind of stuff was all about, plus it all happened in my early twenties during a period of time when the 'love' generation was happening and there was a huge feeling of sexual freedom and exploration going on. At that time, what I did, didn't even seem out of place and was fitting right in with what many other people were exploring. Once I met my first ex and had the doors open to the entertainment industry of musicians and actors and the high life, ... WOW! ... what I saw going on made my past behavior look mighty tame. There were lots of drugs all around us and lots of parties going on. One sound company out of Florida was heavily involved with smuggling huge amounts of cocaine by hiding it in their sound systems. To my knowledge, this person never got caught, and she had us as house guests one evening for a lovely dinner. She was an older conservative looking lady that you would never guess to be involved with such a thing. A very well known singer/musician also use to smuggle in high grade pink cocaine from Columbia on his yacht. We became highly alarmed one time in a hotel room in California where my ex was talking/conducting business, and I remember there must have been at least 8 to 10 people in the room, and all of a sudden this HUGE bag of cocaine is brought out in the open and a drug deal starts going down right in front of us. That was scary! And we instantaneously knew we needed to get the fluck out of there, and we prayed a police bust didn't go down at that moment or our asses would be hauled off to jail as well! LOL So we tried to act like everything was cool and made a hasty exit. Neither him or I did drugs, but it was all around us, and you may feel that we should have snitched on these people, but the drug thing was so big and rampant then, and snitching can get you dead! As you can guess, along with drugs comes plenty of sex and parties. And we were invited to lots of parties, and they were fun and exciting. I saw lots of wild things going down and was given invitations to partake in various activities, but always declined. I will just say that is a very wild world that goes on in Hollywood and the high end entertainment world where the theme seems to be: 'Anything goes, and money is no problem!' Lest I gave you the wrong idea, I'm not into she males! LOL I was just a bit in awe and shock at what I was looking at. I was thinking about Jeffery talking to you about a possible threesome, .. and I think he offered that up to you because you were contemplating fucking Tara at that time, and I suspect that he was thinking that if that was going to happen, he wanted to be in the room when that was going down so he could make sure no emotional bond would form between you and her. I am not desiring anymore threesomes, orgies or wild sex. I would be thrilled to just find a guy that I can relate to and trust to share good times with. I have serious trust issues when it comes to guys. I learned the hard way that they are not always what they seem to be. Pick the wrong one who can seem so nice and near perfect, and you may end up battered, controlled, and even killed, not to mention a quick trip to hell every day of your life, ... and contrary to what it may look like to the outside world, ... it is not an easy escape to get away from these abusers. They threaten not only to kill you, but your family, your pets, your kids, whatever they can find to hold over you to keep you in their power. There is a scary guy wanted on America's Most Wanted that I watched last night that is like that. He killed 3 of his dogs because they didn't find him any wild rabbits to shoot and kill! He tried to kill his wife and burn down her house! I'd rather be alone than risk that!
M - 14 years ago
Oh wow. Ummmmm....no, I don't get into stuff like she-males, transvestites and the like. Does nothing for me. I will even go out on a limb and say I find it rather an odd perversion...but to each his own. Same goes for inter-sex or 'hermaphrodites"....being bisexual does not mean I am attracted to people like hermaphrodites with genetic abnormalities, LOL! People have a misconception that gay/bi men are into kinky stuff like "she-males" and so forth. Because I am bisexual does not imply that I would find anything like that even remotely arousing about a dude who dresses liek a woman and who is taking female hormones...or a poor soul born with a genetic defect. I do not find these types in the least bit arousing. Frankly, I prefer to have sex with one person at a time. I have never been involved in an orgy (while I have had ample opportunity and invitation ) and never have, or had, the desire to. I would find it embarrassing...that's me. I still like my sex...no matter how wild, hot and intense it is...to be a private experience. I don't even have the desire to pursue a threesome and both times I was involved in one, it was initiated by another person. If I were again to be involved in a threesome...my preference would be me, a dude and a woman...but it is probably not something I would independently pursue or care that much about experiencing. I guess I am not very outrageous or kinky as I seem to be to other people......I get the feeling people must think of me as being sexually deviant, LOL! Sorry to disappoint! Even Bea, toward the end of our relationship, had requested to watch me have sex with another dude and/or to be involved in a threesome w/ me another dude. I actually felt a bit uncomfortable...but would have agreed had she set something up..she requested that I set it up...I never did. I felt odd confronting the guys I know with this 'opportunity'. I'd never even think of asking J... although he, like Bea, alluded to partaking in such an activity (me, him and a female)...I think he was being accommodating and supportive of my orientation by suggesting this ...but I know him to be relatively conservative (certainly not when he is alone with me...but his mindset re: these type of arrangements...3-somes, orgies, etc.). He did not have his heart in it when he requested that we partake in a 3-some and I am sure he was relieved when I didn't take him up on it. We are very similar sexually in our likes and dislikes...we have a good sexual sychrony. Re: when I began masturbating....I meant to convey that I was around 13 when I regularly began masturbating to orgasm as a ritual. Clearly, well before that age, I had wet dreams and certainly fiddled around down there like most kids probably, subconsciously, do. The second 3-some with which I was involved was not anything exciting either. Just sex w/ me and 2 woman...booth taking turns blowing me. I did not request they even do anything to one another as the first time it didn't go over big...and I think I only requested it out of curiosity...was not very arousing in retrospect. The porn I watch is mostly gay...men having sex and oral sex...nothing too kinky..some group sex. You would be disappointed in my conservative taste in porn it seems! Occasionally I watch hetero porn too--but the woman are so made up, with huge fake tits and they fake these screaming orgasms...or if they are home made...then the females are usually fat and out of shape and it's a complete turn off to watch unattractive people having sex, IMO. LOL! The dudes in the gay porn are much more appealing.
Storm - 14 years ago
That's so hot what you do to each other. I'm glad to know what you like and some day I will put that knowledge to good use. Say, ... when we get together. :) I like to watch lesbian, and gay/men porno. What do you think of she males? I was looking at pictures yesterday of beautiful looking women, stunning really, with gorgeous tits, but they have a penis. Some of them have both a penis and a pussy. Lucky ducks! LOL Would that turn you on? I have to say I find that pretty wild! It would certainly not stop me from liking them if I felt an attraction to one of them. What about your other threesome experience? How did that come about? Was it any better than the other one? I remember playing with myself when I was really young, maybe 4 or 5 yrs old. I liked to pull the crotch of my pajamas up tight against my pussy so the seam would go inside my outer lips. I discovered in the bath tub that it felt good to have the water running on my pussy and clit. So I have you beat on self pleasuring by literally years! LOL
M - 14 years ago
Jackie was not bi...as far as I know. It's been a while since I have seen her and we did not date for that long. I began dating Jay...who was my first gay experience shortly after this menage a trois event. Jackie thought it would be arousing and fun to fuck me together with her friend... to watch one another doing me, I guess. I was the one who requested they perform oral on each other so I could watch...however, they really didn't get into it so it was not at all hot for me. But....they gave it the old college try! I was thinking about one other thing that J does when he is performing oral on me that is a huge turn on....he generally is busy with his mouth down there...but while his head is buried in my crotch, I am usually lying flat on my back...he reaches up w/ both arms and hands and rubs my chest while he is blowing me ..I love that. And when he is on top of me blowing me (when we are having mutual oral sex) he holds on to my ass and pulls me tight and close to his face...that is pretty awesome. Now that we kiss more...we tend to have more anal sex than before. It is fine...I still get more of what I like (oral) so I can't complain. So your son beats off like 99% of the male population. I have been masturbating since I was about 13 and yes, my mom caught me once in the bathroom with one of dad's porn mags beating off. At the time I was mortified...mom just shut the door and said "let us know when you are finished...dinner is being served". Ugh! Well, she had 2 boys so I think she knew this was normal and to be expected. I still look at porn on the internet and masturbate ...mostly gay stuff..not exactly sure why. But I admit to looking at it less since J and I are so sexually active and so frequent. Only so many hour sin the day...right? LOL!
Pussy Cat - 14 years ago
Oh my gosh! I need my toy and I need Jamie to have a locksmith call to the opposite side of Albuquerque so I have time to go rub my pussy and play with her, 'cause I need a pussy fix bad! I always ask him when he's leaving how far away his call is, and if it's in Rio Rancho, I wait because he could be back home very shortly, but if he has to drive into Alb., then I feel pretty safe that I'll have plenty of time to self pleasure. Every now and then, he will head out on a call and be back within 5 or 10 minutes because the call got canceled, so I am always sort of taking a chance with that happening. I would DIE if he caught me! LOL I caught him one time in the middle of the night in my office. He was sitting at the computer watching porn and his hand was very busy! LOL The doors to his bedroom and my office are glass doors, so even though he had it shut, I could see! He glanced back and saw me as I had only been standing there no more than 5 seconds. I started laughing and just yelled out, " Busted". I didn't mean to be a voyeur or to embarrass him but it all happened pretty quick, so I figured laughter was the best band-aid for that situation. Was your gf Jackie bisexual then with her girlfriend? For her to want that menage a trois I would guess she also wanted to play with her friend and vice a versa. When I had my experience, I didn't know how much contact the other girl wanted me to touch her. She was the one calling the shots and who invited the guy and me over to her house for dinner and for some play. I kind of knew what was going to happen, but didn't know if it would just be necking and petting or all out sex. The New Years Eve that I met her with our dates, I made a play for her bf when my bf through a tantrum and stomped off to a bedroom because we had been dating for several months and I still hadn't slept with him, and he was mad that I wouldn't go in the bedroom with him. Pam came up and asked me where Russ was, and when I told her what was going on, she said she would go talk to him. Meanwhile, her gorgeous handsome bf was sitting on a big bean bag chair and we were all a little buzzed from drinking alcohol. It was New Years Eve after all, so I sat down next to him and he immediately started kissing me like I had hoped. I was thinking I would get slapped any moment by Pam and I would have deserved that! The next thing I know, I feel an arm slide across my back and she kisses me on my cheek and then reaches over and kisses him! I was so amazed by her! Any other woman would have hated me! Anyway, the 4 of us ended up in a big necking and petting session on the living room floor that night. My shirt and bra got shoved up and my pants unzipped! I had hands all over my body and was getting kissed by everyone, and I think Pam's hand was in my pants rubbing and playing with my pussy more than anyone else. She is the only one that ended up completely naked, and surprisingly it didn't lead to any oral sex or intercourse. Just touchy feely, and I have to say I was just buzzed enough to relax and really enjoy it. She came up to me and said, " Wow, that was fun! We'll have to do that again!" Thus an invitation from her two weeks later to come to her house for dinner and to meet this guy! After dinner, we stripped and got on the bed. She told me I had a nice vulva! I think I was the first to ask, " What do you want to do?" She didn't waste time. She wanted to watch him sucking and licking on my pussy. So she laid next to him and I climbed on top of him and gave him oral as he was doing me. I was rubbing her thighs and belly with my right hand but didn't know her boundaries or if I should play with her pussy. Then she said, " Well don't forget about me!" So, while the guy was still licking and sucking on my pussy, I started doing that to her pussy. She was my first, and I really enjoyed it. She really liked watching what he was doing to me. Tell me about your other threesome. :)
M - 14 years ago
Since you are entrapping me I guess I will be forced to indulge you....It is very rare that J penetrates me....I, most often and generally am the one who penetrates him. That is how it works with us. I am more of what is considered to be a top....if you understand gay lingo. J vaciillates between a top and a bottom...but with me is mostly a bottom, but not exclusively. Most of our activity now is very mutual and simultaneous. He is not a femme and there is a difference...though some dudes can be both bottoms and femmes. Our sexual activity consists, primary, of oral....which I prefer. In a gay relationship, you cannot really exclusively probe...or penetrate your partner as a sole or regular activity, as it can become irritating if you do it too much (for the receiver). I generally do this to J when he requests it or if the mood hits me, I initiate it as well. It is arousing for me as well as it brings me to orgasm. I enjoy doing this to him. Most often in gay relationships...I am always the prober and rarely am the one being penetrated...though I have been. It is not nearly as arousing for me than it is to be in the dominant position whcih is my preference. But, I have experienced both ends...no pun intended..LOL! Now that you are making me answer your queries.... I am becoming very aroused...J may be in for a surprise this afternoon... Anyway, as far as what he does to me during oral...well, he generally will use his tongue to lick and suck my entire genital area..including my balls/scrotum, upper groinal area where it connect to my scrotum, my penis..of course...but he focuses on my testicles...balls... for a long time sucking them, squeezing them, which I enjoy immensely. Then he will go deep and suck my penis while intermittently using his hand to stroke me when needed, sometimes stopping to lick my entire genital area again........and sometimes he requests that I come on him...his body, his face; in his mouth....If we are having oral simultaneously. Did this answer your question? I am not sure if you wanted more minute detail, curious one. Regarding my menage a trois (happened 2 different times)..yes I will tell you about it...though it was a while ago...memory is fading. I remember not loving it as much as I thought I would. The first time it was a woman whom I was dating in grad school and her friend. She asked me to fuck her and her friend together, and I jumped at the chance. They both satisfied me first...my gf (Jackie) performed oral on me and then I fucked her friend...it really turned her on (Jackie) to watch. Then they both tried licking each other's pussys and fingering (at my request) but it didn't go over big...they were not as into it as I was....so that part did not last long. In retrospect, I didn't do much to satisfy them...but that was at their urging. It was so long ago I forget much of the details. You should not be forcing me to tell you these nasty stories! I can tell you about the 2nd time I had a menage a trois ....but I have to run to my office to get some things and then meet up with some friends. I also have a dinner party this evening to attend. J is pouting because I did not offer to bring him with me...what a little baby. Later.....
Storm - 14 years ago
If I was a guy, ... and a girl comes on too thick, too fast, throwing herself at me, ... I'm sure I would find that a turn off, and I think that is her problem. She is too desperate acting, too forward, .. too eager, too easy! Who wants that, but an equally desperate guy! It's the same thing with me when it comes to men. I don't like them coming on too strong and too fast. I like having time to scrutinize and study them. Time to get a feel of who they are and where they are coming from. Are they using a line on me, playing a game, insincere? A player? Tara will learn through trial and error what works and what doesn't. She strikes me as quite promiscuous and easy. Not near classy enough for you and what you need and deserve in a woman. You started to turn me on with how you stimulated and persuaded Jeffery that maybe he wasn't too tired after all! I would love to know more of what he does to you specifically when he gives you oral. I know you use to be quite satisfied and happy to just having oral performed on you. Are you finding now that you are enjoying it more and more when he penetrates you? Just curious. :) Soooo, do you not want to talk about that party of three? :) PS .... I think Pussy Cat and little miss kitty are dying to say 'Hi' when next we talk! :)
M - 14 years ago
Ha ha! Yes, in fact, he did wake me up in a most enthusiastically fervent and zealous manner. We have been very active as of late...even more than before I left for Stockholm. We haven't gone one night without activity and only missed it on one morning (when I overslept for a meeting). He even told me once that he was "too tired"...LOL! That never happened before...so I changed his mind pretty quickly....stroked him down there while kissing his chest and his neck. Dude's so easy, LOL!
Poppycock ....even when he is not poppycock...is most obviously gay. I have zero doubt. In his interviews he, appears very gay, his features are almost too pretty to be male, LOL! Keep your cougar tendencies in check...unless you have a dick, the dude will not be interested in you... Sorry :( LOL!
Tara realizes that she annoyed me with her remarks about gay oral sex and that she probably offended me as well. I didn't hide the fact that I thought her comment about gay sex was idiotic and quasi-homophobic. She is not worldly enough, evolved enough or open minded enough for me. I don;t seem to connect with her as well as I do with other women. She is good looking, no doubt, dresses fashionably, which I like as well.....even has a nice body, but she still is not for me. J realizes that now as well. I think it makes him happy...which equates to more sex for me. Can't knock that side benefit! I am curious now as to why she doesn't seem to have more bfs since she is so cute. I think she must irritate a lot of other dudes as well, not only me. J thinks she is searching for father figure. I have the feeling that sex with her would be very unsatisfying for me and anti-climactic.
Storm - 14 years ago
Good Morning Babe, ... I hope you got to sleep in this morning, and that Jeffery woke you up in a most delightful way! :) I've been curious and wondering for sometime about something we talked about before. And that is, ... how and where did you meet the two ladies that you ended up in bed with for a party of three? And who made the first suggestion for that to happen? Also, did the ladies lavish all their attention all of the time on you, or did they also get busy with each other? You can get as salacious with detail as you want. I remember you saying that you would have preferred a girl and a guy though. Didn't you enjoy it? I can't remember for sure, but was it just the one time, or was there another? Just wondering ..... :)
Storm - 14 years ago
Gosh dang it! That is the second time that has happened to me where it posts prematurely and I wasn't anywhere near the submit button. I must be touching something on my keyboard inadvertently that is causing it to do that. So frustrating and now my screen is blacking out in flashes and coming back on. It did that one time before about a week or two ago. Anyway, I was trying to say that you had me laughing so hard when you were talking about how gay he is! Well, I certainly saw that easily in his theatrical characters, but when they showed John Quale being his normal self behind the scenes, I thought he was very handsome and normal acting without any gay traits that I could ascertain or pick up on. So I just thought perhaps it's possible he might be straight. I'm sure you're right though, now that I ponder what you said. What a relief that Daniel has adjusted now to the idea of staying with Jeffery in NYC. It would seem like everything is falling into place as time draws near for your departure. Tara obviously wanted to hang with you and start her flirting, so I like the way you got the hell out of Dodge! LOL I'm sure she wasn't planning on your hasty exit! Good for you, sweetheart! :) You handled that well. I'm glad Jeffery gave you that back rub so you slept so well. I know you're eager to start running again, but do be careful and don't rush too fast, or you might re-injure and then you'll really be screwed. Maybe just start out walking fast. Okay, I'll stop playing mommy! I care, in case you can't tell! Hope you sleep well and get the rest you need tonight. Much love, ... Barb ~~~
Storm - 14 years ago
I'm very relieved to know everything is okay then. You're so funny about Prince Poppycock! hahahahaha You had me
M - 14 years ago
I am not upset...just very busy and pre-occupied with many things right now. It is a good thing I don't have to fly to Brussels next week as I don't know how I'd even find the time. Okay....of course Poppycock is gay. C'mon! Is the pope catholic? Do bears shit in the woods? Is the sky blue? Let's see....1. He likes to dress up in a wig (ala' Marie Antoinette) and wear5 hours application worth of make-up 2. His costumes are flamboyant 3. He is an opera enthusiast 3. He sang "I am a Yankee Doodle Dandy" can-can and Rockettes style behind a backdrop of a Giant 3 dollar bill (helllloooo?) 4. He looks effeminate in and out of make-up 5. Dude's a femme, through and through. YES HE IS GAY!!!!!!!!!! If he were simply a comedian (and not a singer, performer, dancer too), I might say he is "acting gay" for his routine...but wouldn't that be rather Politically incorrect of him to do on national TV? Well, I think he is absolutely hilarious and very creative. If you seriously cannot determine this dude is gay...then you would be shocked and floored to all hell to meet J. The only clue to J's orientation is his meticulous grooming and dress...other than that...he appears to be about as gay as Tom Brady. The Prince, while probably a good looking dude, is not my type. I do not go for femmes sexually. I like men who look more masculine. If I want feminine, I opt women..of course. I like my women feminine and my men masculine...I think that makes sense, LOL! Piers is a dick...he sabotaged Poppy in favor of little Miss Brimstone demon spawn. And then another boring guitar strummer wins again....God help reality TV. Bro informed me that he has decided to stay behind in NY w/ J since J will not be able to come to London. Phew! I promised him I would come home as often as possible. My calf is finally beginning to feel better. J sent me to his orthopedist (J plays a lot of sports, Squash, Rugby, so does get minor injuries from time to time). His doctor determined that I tore a ligament...but only slightly and it should heal on it's own. He told me no excessive exercise (ummm...well we knwo that is out of the question...) or running for 3 weeks...F*** that ! If I feel better Monday...I need to run. I was so stressed out a couple of days ago over everything, so J gave me a back rub and I fell asleep for a full 8 hours. Woke up late...had to run to work for a meeting and did not have time to shave (I have NEVER forgone shaving in the morning before work). This meeting was very important. So your bff Tara came by later that day and said "oh hi...did you get my chocolates"? I told her yes and thank you. Then she told me I looked "sexy" with a 5 o'clock shadow. I told her "thanks" and walked away. Haven't heard form her since. I told J about my conversation w/ Beatrice and some of the things she had said to me. He is a bit dubious as to her real intentions...but maybe just because he is afraid that I will be closer in proximity to her when I relocate. He thinks that she is saying this as a last ditch effort and if I don't want to lose her...I'll chase after her because this is my 'last real chance'. I disagree. I tend to think she is being honest. Some of the things she confessed were sincere. Especially when she shared her feelings regarding my relationship with J. She could have kept that to herself. Well, it is easier for me not to see her anymore anyway. I don't feel like complicating my life any more right now. I need to have dinner and then I am going to try to turn in at about 11:30 tonight. I was supposed to be going out with some work friends for dinner...but I am too tired.
Storm - 14 years ago
Good Morning Michael, .... Hope your day is off to a good start. It seemed so odd not hearing from you yesterday, and I'm just hoping nothing is wrong. Did I say something stupid that has you upset with me again? Talk to me, jelly bean ..... ~~~
Storm - 14 years ago
Hello Mr. Mad Hatter, .... How are you and how was your day? I miss you. Is everything okay?
Storm - 14 years ago
Can you believe that outcome? I thought for sure the Prince would at least be in the top 2. What a crock! I hope this doesn't sound to you like a stupid question, but do you think John Quale is gay? Obviously the Prince character displays gay traits, but does that necessarily have to mean John is gay? What do you think? My curiosity runneth over! :)
Storm - 14 years ago
Oh my, ... That has really got to be tugging at your heart and tearing you apart when Daniel makes his pleas to you to take him along. Oh, how sad. Well, you are doing the only thing you can babe, and he can't be in better hands than with Jeffery. You and I both know that is the truth, and if your mom can't accept that, then she can take him back and take care of him. And yes, I know that is why he is now with you, because she really can't do that anymore. She will just have to accept this, and it is for only 3 months, which I think will go really fast, and you will be back home before you know it. I am convinced that if J is in your life long enough, your mom will learn to accept him. And if he isn't, then your mom will be hoping once again that you will find a nice girl. Did I ever happen to mention that I'm a nice girl? :)
M - 14 years ago
I am feeling very stressed and not even looking at my screen as I type...have not even looked at spell check...my brain moves faster than my fingers...and I am an awful typist. Ignore the many typos. I need sleep. Badly.
M - 14 years ago
:) Thanks. I am fine with her and I am not upset as I've known for some time we would never have a relationship as it was. I was hoping we could stay friends...but that is too hard for her and she does not want me to contact her anymore. The stress of moving....and now Daniel telling me that he plans on coming to London with me...despite the fact that J is remaining in NY...he says that J can come too. While he understands that is not to happen...he is applying pressure and guilt. Asking me why I always leave and if he lived with our mother still she wouldn't do this, etc. I told him that I would not be around to take care of him and I'd have to hire someone which may take a while and he ma not like them as much as J and his current caregiver. Then he told me he could take care of himself or I I could stay with him and then he care My mother is not happy with my relationship with J, the fact that j lives with us, that J will be mainly responsible for bro. I really think she is afraid I am gay which would bother her. I told her that I am bisexual and not gay... and her comment was "well you will never get married or be with a woman for life, so what's the difference..gay , bisexual, doesn't matter" ?. She wants all of her to be straight.LOL! Okay--I need to get off the internet I have been very OCD and am really behind. thanks for the ear. :)
Storm - 14 years ago
Sweet Jeffery! He has good intuitive responses with you, and he will get you through this. I see all of this as a good thing. She can focus now on building a deeper love and a better closeness with Karl, who sounds like a very decent and good man himself. She will be more than okay. You don't need to worry about her. Jeffery is so genuine, giving, and full of love for you, that you are truly blessed and have all you need right now. You also have me if you need anything, and come January, it is still my hope you and I can finally meet and become lovers, if the situation is right. Keep your chin up, love! Everything will be okay and as it is meant to be. :) PS ..... Let's hope the Prince wins tonight!
M - 14 years ago
not sure what happened to my last message. Later....
M - 14 years ago
I was not sensitive to your comment about cuffing me...I knew it was a joke, don't worry. I was not a battered boyfriend, LOL...so, no baggage there, trust me. She slapped me during those 2 incidents I mentioned and I felt it was more of a lack of self-control brought on by an emotional overload....she has some low-level anger management issues as well. She can, at times, be really quite wonderful and she has some great qualities. When she slapped me during our argument, we broke up, for good, 2 days later. She broke up with me....and at first I was relieved (I didn't make the slightest attempt to change her mind or talk her out of it...I just said "okay")...then as the weeks went on, I became a bit depressed. I missed her, though I knew in my heart it was never going to work out with us. I believe her love was true. I have no doubt she loved me and I her....she is very impulsive, fiery, even histrionic at times. She never tried to beat on me...and had she, it would have been the last time, that I can assure you. Like when I told her that if she slapped me again...she would get slapped right back...she knew I was serious. I think I am going to give Bea the benefit of the doubt here...I think she has given up on me. I don't blame her a bit. She has not been in touch with me at all...and let's face it...she knows that if I were in Brussels sans J, she could call the (sexual) shots, if that is what she wanted. She is no longer living in NY so a relationship of a committed or exclusive nature is not even a prospect. She did not ask if J and I were together, or whether I loved him or if I was going to break up with him once I relocated. I think she really did not want me to come out as she does not see the utility in trying to maintain such an infrequent, only sexual relationship with me. It is really over and has no chance of resurrecting and that finally hit her. I have to respect her for not allowing me to see her given the narrow parameters I delivered to her regarding a 'relationship" (sexual and infrequent). Some things she said made me feel dejected, conflicted, and emotionally drained. She also told me that she always felt she loved me "too much". And "too much" was also not good. She said that she thought J was a better match for me than her, and it "kills" her to even utter that and to see us together. And that she never thought I would, in a million years, end up with a dude...but she sees the potential that J and I will be together a long time and it kills her to stand by and watch it. She thinks of me more as a "sexual chameleon" (her words) than an active bisexual...explaining that she felt I could end up with J..... and, well... that is her prediction from witnessing and seeing us interact together. She told me that she did not think of me as gay, nor straight...but a "very unusual man like I've never known. A complicated creature". LOL! Anyway...I take her comments as sincere, even if they are damning by faint praise! Her words are a bit hard for me to process now. I was a bit surprised that she did not want me to come out...but as I said, it works better for me and I was not really looking forward to the stress of the trip. But I feel convinced that she is sincere.....her voice was deflated, her perceived demeanor: despondent, resigned. When I got off the phone and walked into the living room, J looked over at me...not knowing even who I was speaking with, and said "Hey...is everything okay?" and I responded "I don't know" and then he offered : "Do you want to talk about it"? I said "No, not really". Then he asked "Do you want a hug?" and I said "yes, I could definitely use a hug". :)
M - 14 years ago
I was not sensitive to your comment about cuffing me...I knew it was a joke, don't worry. I was not a battered boyfriend, LOL...so, no baggage there, trust me. She slapped me during those 2 incidents I mentioned and I felt it was more of a lack of self-control brought on by an emotional overload....she has some low-level anger management issues as well. She can, at times, be really quite wonderful and she has some great qualities. When she slapped me during our argument, we broke up, for good, 2 days later. She broke up with me....and at first I was relieved (I didn't make the slightest attempt to change her mind or talk her out of it...I just said "okay")...then as the weeks went on, I became a bit depressed. I missed her, though I knew in my heart it was never going to work out with us. I believe her love was true. I have no doubt she loved me and I her....she is very impulsive, fiery, even histrionic at times. She never tried to beat on me...and had she, it would have been the last time, that I can assure you. Like when I told her that if she slapped me again...she would get slapped right back...she knew I was serious. I think I am going to give Bea the benefit of the doubt here...I think she has given up on me. I don't blame her a bit. She has not been in touch with me at all...and let's face it...she knows that if I were in Brussels sans J, she could call the (sexual) shots, if that is what she wanted. She is no longer living in NY so a relationship of a committed or exclusive nature is not even a prospect. She did not ask if J and I were together, or whether I loved him or if I was going to break up with him once I relocated. I think she really did not want me to come out as she does not see the utility in trying to maintain such an infrequent, only sexual relationship with me. It is really over and has no chance of resurrecting and that finally hit her. I have to respect her for not allowing me to see her given the narrow parameters I delivered to her regarding a 'relationship" (sexual and infrequent). Some things she said made me feel dejected, conflicted, and emotionally drained. She also told me that she always felt she loved me "too much". And "too much" was also not good. She said that she thought J was a better match for me than her, and it "kills" her to even utter that and to see us together. And that she never thought I would, in a million years, end up with a dude...but she sees the potential that J and I will be together a long time and it kills her to stand by and watch it. She thinks of me more as a "sexual chameleon" (her words) than an active bisexual...explaining that she felt I could end up with J..... and, well... that is her prediction from witnessing and seeing us interact together. She told me that she did not think of me as gay, nor straight...but a "very unusual man like I've never known. A complicated creature". LOL! Anyway...I take her comments as sincere, even if they are damning by faint praise! Her words are a bit hard for me to process now. I was a bit surprised that she did not want me to come out...but as I said, it works better for me and I was not really looking forward to the stress of the trip. But I feel convinced that she is sincere.....her voice was deflated, her perceived demeanor: despondent, resigned. When I got off the phone and walked into the living room, J looked over at me...not knowing even who I was speaking with, and said "Hey...is everything okay?" and I responded "I don't know" and then he offered : "Do you want to talk about it"? I said "No, not really". Then he asked "Do you want a hug?" and I said "yes, I could definitely use a hug". :)
Storm - 14 years ago
Wow! I am a bit in shock! I am searching for a way to express all my emotions and thoughts after hearing this. I so regret in even joking as I did to you about the 'cuff ' thing now. How insensitive of me, and I'm so sorry. Bea has a strange way of expressing ' love'. Hitting, slapping, demands, ultimatums, verbal abuse, shoving, bullying you, and then withdrawing invitations and sex unless you do what she wants which is for you to dump Jeffery. Does that really sound like love to you? It sounds like selfishness and trying to control, manipulate, and dominate another human being for one's own dire purposes to me. There was no violence in my family, and I have never ever hit a guy. I think Bea has some serious problems and issues within herself, and I don't mean this to sound cruel, but she just doesn't deserve you, and I honestly truly think she would make your life hell for you. She is who she is, and the same problems you had with her before will keep resurfacing in it's various forms. I'm sure you will always carry some fondness and love for her, but it just isn't in the cards that you two should be together. I don't like how she is trying to manipulate and control you by her basic ultimatum that if you want sex and her, then you get rid of Jeffery. Does that sound like unconditional love to you or a deep love that has your best interests at heart? No, it's all about her like it has always been from the start. That will never change. I know your conversation with her was painful, and I imagine it is leaving you feeling emotionally drained and distraught, but I think this is a blessing in disguise for you and a closure that needs to be. If you want to know what REAL love is, ... look no further than your own home, and what you already have! I love you, babe. I'm here for you. ~~~
M - 14 years ago
I do realize that the "cuff upside your head" comment was not serious...did not offend me. I am also a non-violent person and have never hit anyone. I would not use physical force unless warranted...to defend myself or to defend someone close to me...or to defend even a stranger being attacked, I suppose. Anyway...I have been hit...slapped by women before, LOL! Not for being too physical or for trying to take advantage...but for disappointing them or ignoring them...or not giving them what they wanted. Bea slapped me, hard, across the side of my face...on more than one occasion. I believe it was for ignoring her, not giving her what she wanted, being "indifferent"..in her view. One time, she pushed me very hard from behind as I was walking away from her during a verbal altercation.... and then when I turned toward her she slapped me across the face....and then immediately apologized. I forgave her. I had never been hit before ...other than having a girlfriend slap me years earlier during an argument. Another time...we had an argument and it was over commitment issues, her needing the usual: more emotional assurances from me..and my failure to offer her some specific assurances she needed (like not seeing dudes). When she would not desist with her ranting...I ignored her and picked up a book or magazine and began reading...she pulled it out of my hand..so I walked away to another room. she followed me and shocked me by slapping me, very hard. I looked at her and said nothing...tried to keep my cool (mother would be very displeased if I struck her back as we were taught never to hit girls!), she then proceeded to slap me hard a second time. I looked at her as she attempted to swing her hand a third time ...I grasped her wrist and told her very calmly but most assuredly, that l if she did it again, I would slap her back. She relented. But that was the last time she slapped me as we broke up shortly thereafter. IF one spends enough personal time with me...I tend to bring out the worst in them, Lol...except for J. Maybe because he is a dude he is not as emotional (though he is fairly emotional) about commitment stuff. He tolerates me better than anyone I have ever known. I called Bea last night as I needed to make plane reservations.l I asked her if I should get a hotel or stay with her. She was very quiet on the other end. She calmly informed em that she cannot sleep with me anymore but I was welcome to come out. I asked her if she was expecting me or would she rather I not come. She said that it was a good idea not to come. She feels that during her last visit to NY when I was recovering...that J was much more prominent in my life than she had hoped and that I had indicated. Adn that I "am not admitting or do not realize how deep it is". She said she will not sleep with me while I am living with him, sleeping with him regularly and otherwise "not free" (her words). She feels the relationship is more than even I realize and that when she gave me the gift, she thought we could have a chance at something ...even if it was not what we had before. She is now convinced that as long as J is with me...that there is no chance of that. She said (rough translation) "you are not as free as you claim to be" and that she has "been the harlet/courtesan before and refuse to take on that role again"...claiming that is all she will be to me now. She is correct. That is all I have to offer her. I feel badly that I could not reassure her of the converse and come out...but on the other hand, I do not have the time to travel that far right now...even for 3 days. She told me that even though she does not love Karl as much as she loved me, that he is devoted to her and wants to make her happy, and that has to be enough. Then she requested I never call her again. Jeesh! It is like she is angry at me and I was never dishonest to her. Oh well...will never understand the feminine mind. The conversation wore on me emotionally.
Storm - 14 years ago
Good Morning Michael, ... Thank you for taking a moment to post what you did, ... it means a lot and I'm relieved and very happy to know you aren't mad at me. Sometimes I say stupid things, or just don't say things well. I hope your day is very productive and goes smoothly for you. I'm really hoping Prince Poppycock wins tonight, ... especially since that rude idiot Piers Morgan had the audacity to buzz his amazing performance last night. Sharon Osborne was so right when she told Piers off! He is just trying to influence the votes to go to the little girl, but I'm hoping it backfires on him. They only allow 10 votes per phone line, so I voted for the Prince on both my cell and house phone, and also on the internet. I hope it makes a difference. All my love, ..... Barb
M - 14 years ago
I am not angry and, perhaps, wrote some things that were out of line. I have no time to explain further. I am very busy and have fallen behind and need to focus on work today. Later....
Passionate About You - 14 years ago
For you,.. Hot Stuff. .... ' Magnet and Steel ' by Walter Egan. ~~~
Storm - 14 years ago
Sorry honey, and yes I understand what you're saying. I was kidding about the cuff beside your head, that is why I put LOL beside that. I am not violent in the least and would never hit you, ... unless it was with a very fluffy down pillow in a fun and playful pillow fight with you. If I am coming across to you as being high and mighty, that is most unfortunate and is not where I am coming from in my mind and my heart and was unaware I sound that way. I will try to be more aware of that and I don't mind you pointing it out to me when you feel I am 'going there'. My sincere apologies. I also don't mean to put you on the defense, ... I was unaware you felt like I was attacking you, as that wasn't even in my thoughts, motive, or intent. Why would I, ... I adore you and always respect your thoughts and opinions, even if they're different from mine. The words 'shallow' and 'superficial' were poor choices on my part, and I wish now I would have simply said something like, " If you could only get past the 'yucky' feelings you have about animals." Maybe that would have sounded less offensive than the other two words I chose in a spontaneous moment when I should have taken time to pause and think about what I just chose to say. I didn't mean anything offensive but I can see where you could and did interpret it that way. So sorry. I also want you to know your opinion is VERY valued and important to me. I didn't realize I was making you feel like I was just shutting you off. I only try to change the topic when I fear I am upsetting you, but it seems my good intention does the opposite and just makes things worse, so I am a bit confused on what the best thing is to do. I just don't want a conversation to deteriorate into upsetting you and spiraling down to a horrible place like what happened before. My intention will always be to bring you up, not down, and especially now when you are stressed and dealing with so much. I'm deeply sorry for irritating you with the way I expressed some things, and I tell you the truth when I say I never meant to hurt or attack you in any way. Please don't be mad, and forgive me.
M - 14 years ago
I was kidding when I wrote the first post (10:18), but then I went back and perused through your message (9:07) and found it a bit offensive, so posted again at 10:24 to tell you just that. I mean...why do you say these things and act all 'high and mighty' re: your opinions...and then when I am put on the defense by you...you pull the "I'm moving on..." "let's move on..." "it's all good"...in some variation...I mean, you say your piece....as if that is the only opinion that matters. When you get it off your chest and tell me how much I am missing in my life and that my reasons are shallow and superficial...and that you want to knock me up the side of the head....blah blah blah---when I defend myself, give you my opinion on your comments...it is always "lets' move on". Very annoying. Do you get that?
Storm - 14 years ago
Oh babe, .. I thought you were kidding with me. I'm sorry. I just didn't want our conversation to deteriorate into hard feelings or a fight when I was hoping I could just share my thoughts with you. I don't intend for them to seem high and mighty or to be forced on anybody else. Please don't take offense as none was intended. If you want to talk further about this, then I will do that. I love you damn it, and I wasn't trying to hurt you or belittle you in anyway. You should know that ....
Pussy Cat - 14 years ago
Come here big boy! :)
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 14 years ago
Re-read your earlier message which I originally only skimmed.....Not liking how you seem to throw your 2 cents in and pontificate about what you feel is "the beauty of nature" (or whatever your self-righteous topic of the day may be) and then, as always, when you feel you got your point across and I am put on the defense, you 'say' annoying things like "I'm ready to move on" or some variation of that. Don't do that. It is insulting and childish. Okay? No..I am not ready to move on and frankly, I wouldn't even give you the honor of letting you blow me right now. I am quite serious!
M - 14 years ago
Nope. Not even that. I am reeeeeeaaalllly mad at you and since I have lost total respect for you anyway...you need not worry about appearing 'respectable' in my eyes. So, maybe you can put your money where your mouth is (pun intended) and finally prove to me just how deep you can go. You talk a big game, lady. Prove it! I DARE you..........
Pussy Cat - 14 years ago
Will my pussy do? Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
M - 14 years ago
That should be upping the 'ante' not 'anti'. Duh!
RE: Your last message at 9:14 - 14 years ago
Stop trying to change the subject. I hate that. No I didn't see Tara....and I am pissed off at you so am upping the anti. A pack of gum will n longert do. Any other suggestions???
Storm - 14 years ago
Do I owe you a pack of gum? LOL Did Tara make an appearance today? How are you doing? Is your leg still sore?
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Hi honey!, ... Hope your day is off to a good start. It is cloudy and cool here which is most welcome. You are so darn funny! You never fail to make me laugh! Well, I might not be able to do some things Brokeback style, but I am able and capable of kissing you very passionately like Heath Ledger's character 'Ennis Del Mar' kissed Jake Gyllenhaal's character 'Jack' after 5 years of not being together. Wait and see, I'll show you come January! Yeah, Rickey has always liked Archuletta it would seem. I had no idea who would win between the two of them, and I had no favorite, so it didn't matter to me who won. I really loved talking to you for the first time on the phone last night, and as soon as you know your new email address, get it to me, and we won't have to talk on here anymore. Love you, babe.
Not sure what kissing passionately "Brokeback Style" means. Not sure you have the requisite apparatus to do anything 'Brokeback style', ma dear. J looks for reasons to touch me: hug, kiss, hold me...though he is good not doing it in public because that annoys me (except for the last time I arrived home from a trip...he hugged me in front of my place and kissed me on the cheeks, chin, lips...not passionate...just pecks. I didn't mind as I was very happy to see him and very happy to be home). ! Meant to ask you...I notice David Archuletta is a big topic still for Rickey. He seems to love posting about this kid. Must be a huge fan, if I remember correctly. Back during Idol 8...did you ever ponder Who Will Win American Idol? I thought for sure Cook...and he did. Many disagreed.
I like spontaneity and going with the mood and the flow of what I see my lover's eyes. There are moments that feel like I want to slam you against a wall and kiss you passionately Brokeback style. There would be moments I want to brush my fingers down the side of your face and just gaze into your eyes. There would be moments I just want you to lay on your stomach so I could gently tickle and brush my fingers down your back and elsewhere. And yes, if you make me laugh, I may want to spontaneously kiss you or squeeze your hand. I think there are moments between a couple when affection may be wanted or needed, and other moments when it is good to give the other person room to breathe, and not cling too tightly. I love passion and intensity and I've got to have that, otherwise ... I may fall away if you know what I mean. I want to feel the fire with my lover. I already know that would be in place with you. I can feel it across the time and space that separate us. So what do you think about that, my little jelly bean?
I don't mind affection being showered on me...it is rather nice sometimes...if I am feeling down, had a bad day, etc. I am just not like that myself. I am usually only affectionate during lovemaking. I rarely initiate hand holding and only hold hands when my mate grabs mine first...I never initiate the obligatory 'hello' or 'goodbye' cheek pecks. Sometimes I'll say something stupid, silly or random...and then laugh....and then J will look at me and kiss me on the cheek or brush his hand aside my face...just make an affectionate gesture. Kind of funny really......are you like that? Dude loves to touch me and I don't really mind it as much these days.
I guess Jeffery and I have yet another thing in common as I am quite affectionate and love human touch if it comes from someone I immensely like. I'm beginning to think he is my long lost twin! LOL I loved the romantic words he expressed about you on his twitter. I use to write poems in my teens and twenties. I've always had a love affair for 'words' and the power and emotions they can express when strung together in a heartfelt or ingenious way, and I could tell Jeffery is very intelligent and talented with 'words' and expressing himself. Yet one more thing to admire about the guy. I love giving full body massages, starting with the feet, ... and working my way up. I think you would like my touch. I think you would like my feel. I think you would like what I do to you. I think you will like my eyes and my smile. I think you will like how deep I can go and what I can do with my mouth! :)
Maybe J can come over and kiss your boo boo...Oops...wrong spot! Never mind :) I am not a very affectionate, 'touchy-feely' type person. J is. He loves to hug, touch, give little pecks...more hugs. If you met him for the first time...he would hug you. That's him. I am not this way. Of course I would hug you upon meeting you because we know one another. ...but never a stranger at first meeting. So, if J tells me he has a sore neck or sore back, I will tell him to take Advil. I t would not occur to me to massage him unless he requests it specifically ...or if I think it will lead to sex. Otherwise, I'd prefer not to touch him for no reason. But I looooooooove receiving massages EVERYWHERE on my body...if you know what I mean..........
LOL Well, I'm jealous! hahaha I wish I had someone to kiss and rub my boo boos. That would have come in so handy a couple of weeks ago! :) You are truly lucky to be so pampered. It's been years since I even had someone give me a back rub. I have a shiatsu machine with two rotating balls that I lean up against in my leather chair to loosen tight and sore muscles in my back and neck. Not nearly as good as human touch, but better than nothing. How is your day going so far? Any sign of that hussy yet? :)
Ha ha! You and J have more in common than I first thought...his car is a 911 Carrera GTS. It is pretty cool looking (if you are into that kind of thing--I am not), it sits fairly low to the ground which I do not like; and makes little sense as a city car since speed is greatly limited by the traffic. J is loaded so probably just wanted to buy himself a toy. So now you know why the ding repair was so outrageous. The car is 2010 and has less than 10K miles. Anyway...as you can tell, I am not into cars.
Of course J tried rubbing my neck...he always looks for reasons to touch me. If I say anything hurts, or is sore he gets all excited. I am sure you can guess what a neck rub and back rub leads to...EVERY time! No exceptions.
I have to say that doesn't surprise me in the least about Jeffery. He is so in love with you, that he would buy you the moon and give it to you on a silver platter if he could. What kind of sports car is he driving? With that kind of bill, it must have been made on the moon! LOL I can't imagine being without my car. It is a 2007 Hyundai Tiburon in a really pretty ice blue/silver metallic. It looks like a Porsche and gets lots of looks, and is great fun for cruising in. I have yet to have any dings or scratches on it. I park at the far end of parking lots to keep it away from other vehicles, as people aren't always careful about slamming their doors open against other vehicles, plus I like walking. Did J try rubbing your neck to relax you? I don't know how you can function on such little sleep. I would be banging into walls!
I am not angry at my mom. I know she just loves me. She has a hard time staying angry at me...she loves me too much. She'll call in a day or two and while she won't apologize...she'll be very sweet and she'll let me know that she loves me...in her way. I think she said her piece. My neck is very stiff still, but I have been taking Advil for the pain. I think it is stress combined with a lack of sleep. I gave up my company car as I never used it...it was sitting in a parking garage collecting fees.IF I need a car for driving somewhere out of the city, I rent one. I generally take a cab to work...do not like the subway. Sometimes J will drop me if he is to be in the office that morning...but usually I leave too early for him. Occasionally I take J's car...but since I dinged it, I have not been requesting to use it. He doesn't care. It bothered me because it was a brand new, very pricey sports car and I hit it and caused a small dent (it was in perfect condition). Insurance won't pay...but J said "no big deal, hon...accidents happen. It won't cost much to fix". Told him I'd [pay (I figured it would be around 2 grand to repair). Of course I demanded that I reimburse him. Well, he never gave me a bill and when I asked him about it he said "Oh forget about it..it was not that expensive, I don't even remember what it cost for the repair". But, then a couple of weeks later, I found a bill in the kitchen for $6,800! Remind me never to buy an expensive car. Wrote him a check...and he refused to deposit it and left it on my desk voided. He said that the repair bill was "no big deal". That's J for you.....
I've been wondering, ... how do you get to and from work since you don't have your company car anymore, and how long does it take you to get there? I hope you don't have far to go, .. heavy traffic is never fun to deal with.
You handled your mom well, with honesty and frankness, and that is admirable. She is coming from a place of love in her heart for you and just wanting 'her version' of what she thinks you need in your life. It's going to take her perhaps a long time to realize you are not someone who can be happy living the so called traditional straight life. You have to be who you are and live in your own truth and true self, and she has the choice to accept that or not. If she doesn't accept that, then sad to say, it is not your problem, but hers. I still say that if Jeffery stays in your life long enough, she will eventually accept him, but she will probably always carry the wish that you spend your life with a good and loving woman that will take good care of you and Daniel. She is traditional and living her life being true to herself. She just happens to believe her way should be the way for everyone else! LOL She's a sweetie! :) How is your neck and shoulder, ... still sore? I must either be having sympathy pains with or for you, 'cause I woke up in the wee hours with my neck and left shoulder feeling very sore and in pain. No matter how I tried to lay, I couldn't get comfortable and couldn't get back to sleep, so I finally gave up and got up at 5:30 this morning. My shoulder still hurts. I wish you were here to rub it and something else! :)
Ooh...all of a sudden 'willy' is becoming 'Big Willy'! Better sit behind my desk for a little bit. Would you believe that I didn't sleep at all last night? No kidding...I never should have had that cup of tea...but I , literally, could not keep my head up during the day yesterday and I needed something to pick me up and get me through the afternoon. Big mistake! . I am very sensitive to caffeine...it keeps me awake for hours and makes me even more hyper-active. Poor J...I was getting out of bed every hour turning the TV on...reading ...pacing trying to get rid of my energy...of course I tried the fun way too...but never got tired after my orgasm. I'll be 'down for the count' by 8:00 pm tonight. J didn't get much sleep either, thanks to me. At 4:00 am he was so frustrated he went to the study to sleep. Poor dude. J is coming to London with me for the first 3-4 days while I settle in. My mother is flying in and staying at my place to be with bro. She is not very happy about the arrangement. She asked me last night "why is it that a wealthy, single, entrepreneur would want to spend time helping to care for a disabled adult male, don't you find that rather strange?" I asked her what she was alluding to in her question. She claimed "nothing at all...but haven't you asked yourself why he would he agree to do this?" I told her the following: "Mom, I do not have to ask myself why J is so charitable...there are many reasons. Firstly, he was raised by Mormon missionaries so his charitable outlook and practices are somewhat ingrained in him. Daniel's caregiver cares for him most of the time except for evenings when she needs to be home or when Daniel is at work. J just hangs with Daniel so he won't be alone only when his caregiver cannot be there. J is very devoted to me..and whether or not I share the same devotion is not relevant to this conversation. The dude would do what he can to make me happy. Just a fact." She paused and then quipped "Does he know that you are not gay?" "Yes, Mom, he knows I am bisexual". "Then are you leading him on by doing all of those THINGS with him?" "No, Mom, because I enjoy those THINGS too." "Micheal, I would appreciate it if you would not be so graphic when describing your relationship with that man". "Okay, mom, then don't ask me anymore personal questions.". CLICK from the other end. LOL...I still her love her though!i
It would be absolutely impossible for me to hate you, no matter how weak, cranky, or ornery you may decide to be! I know you would be wise to leave 'willy' in the skillful and able hands of Jeffery or me! :) No one else would love him 'long time' and as lovingly so as he and I! ;)
Ha ha! Pitiful? I agree she does not give me that sexual energy vibe and I do not get the feeling that she is an able and intense lover. Not sure she would know how to please my 'willy'. Well...if I have a weak moment or a lapse in judgment, , I will be sure to conveniently forget to tell you, Sheila and J about it as I think you would all hate me!
Yippee! Just found out The Event is coming on now ( 8pm ) and Hawaii Five-O at 9pm! No confict! I use to watch the old Hawaii Five-O when I was a kid, and I loved that show! Book 'em Dannel! LOL
Please banish that last thought you had! You have Jeffery to blow you and she would do a pitiful job anyway next to how good he is at it! :) YES! Do ignore her PLEASE! She is all desperate to come up with any flimsy excuse now to see you, so whatever she wants, it's all bogus. And you don't want to upset Jeffery right before you leave! She will be showing up at your office tomorrow anyway to try to corner you into lunch with her or some other plot she is trying to entrap you in believe me! I bet Jeffery can help you with that hyperactivity and put it to good use! LOL There is a storm going on outside at the moment and the lightning is scary. It's right above me! I'm looking forward to watching the new shows on tonight, especially Hawaii Five-O and The Event. I think they both come on at the same time and that sucks. I'll be flipping back and forth. I don't have Tevo. I hate lightning! I'm home alone and it's scaring me! What was that bad storm like that came through NYC and tore roofs off with a tornado? Was it hitting hard where you were?
I had to drink a cup of tea to liven up...now I am hyperactive and won't sleep this evening...LOL..a double-edged sword! I think Beatrice is history...in fact, I am quite certain. She is a very passionate and intense person, yet, on the phone she sounded depressed and defeated. She is also very proud and I think it is unlike her to be so mellow and sedate...I think she was resigned to the fact that we were most definitely history; and so now is the best time to completely put an end to it. I feel okay about it now. I think she has accepted that, given the choice, I would choose J over her. And I would. I did. Tara...who the fuck knows. I am not interested in her. I think I will try to ignore her until I have to leave. What do you think? ?? That she is going to try to corner me like last years intern and blow me? Actually...maybe I wouldn't mind that so much...hmmmmm.
Meant to say 'next' , not ' net '. :)
You are just so damn cute! "shallow sonovabitch." hahahahaha Too funny! LOL Jeffery will never leave you again, but he may decide to shut a door a little harder than usual if you piss him off! LOL I'm kidding as you know! He doesn't even seem to lose his temper very much. I can't imagine anything making him walk out the door. It's not to say you won't have your disagreements, but he knows better than to ever walk out the door on you now. He knows you won't pursue him, and he is so in love with you, that nothing will drive him away unless you sleep with another man. Even then, like you mentioned before, it would crush him but he still wouldn't leave unless you plan to sleep with that guy again. I think that is the only thing that would do you in, and make him leave. Why am I not surprised at what Tara is doing? It is all a made up excuse with an ulterior motive to patch things up with you and get back in your good graces so she can once again pursue you. I'm sure of it, and I think the biggest thing she is trying to salvage at this point is her planned trip to come see you in London. She will see that now as her biggest chance to seduce you since you will be away from Jeffery. Why not just call her on the phone tonight and ask her, "What's up? What do you need?" She is just looking for a way to spend time with you and try to get seductive and cozy with you. If she asks if she can come see you in London, I would suggest telling her, " No, Jeffery will be coming to see me." She just doesn't take a hint very well. You may be right about Bea. She is very jealous of Jeffery and how he has taken up your life, and she definitely felt her hold on you slip to an all time low when you didn't give her the new email. I am willing to predict that somewhere down the road she will make contact with you out of the blue to test the waters with you and to find out if you are still with Jeffery. I know she has no intention of leaving you alone. She's just trying to make you miss her, and she wants Jeffery gone. That's the bottom line. I suggest you honor her request not to call her, and I bet you in no time she will find an excuse to call you up. Mark my words! I'm a woman. I know! You may not realize it, but I'm a huge asset to you because I will reveal to you how women think, and 9 times out of 10 I bet I'm right in what their net move is. Watch and see! :)
Was that first sentence utilizing a double negative? Oh horror! I must really be sleep deprived!
Not so sure that J would never leave again....give the dude a little time. Lest we forget that J already did leave me once recently. Remember? And a few years back when we dated casually for a few weeks....we got close rather quickly and then I wore on his nerves....I will take the blame....and he said something like.."let's not date anymore since you seem intent on bringing me down and pushing me away"...I replied "okay, that's fine". He then referred to me as a "shallow sonovabitch." LOL! Though later he claimed that this was the biggest mistake and regret of his life--not giving us a chance. LOL! So...he left me twice already ma dear...I am assuming it will be a third time at some point. I am curious to hear 'all-knowing's' opinion! Tara sent me an e-mail this morning(unfortunately there is not way of getting around her not having my e-mail since she works for the company). She requested we get together and talk beforeI leave for London. She added that she required my "input and expertise" on several important issues. Hmmmmmmm...now I am curious! Speaking of e-mail...I think I might know why Bea was so cold and upset when I talked to her last week. She mailed me a bill for the decorator's services/fees and purchases (OUCH!)..and attached a note reading "sorry for this coming to you via regular mail, but since I no longer am privy to your e-mail, I was not able to scan it and send it electronically. My best to you, always...Beatrice". My e-mail address changed again around a month ago as my company has received reduced federal funding (fo r reasons to mundane to go into...) and is now a dot com, not a dot org. So, all of the employees addresses changed and we had to restructure our mainframe...etc. So, she, apparently tried e-mailing me (she had my old address since she did work with our company). She found out it was defunct and called me for my new address. I told her that I no longer give t out and only use it for work...I explained that it is too difficult for me to communicate and I get very obsessed and I did not egt work done when I had to e-mail...I have very little self-control...so I made a blanket policy. Other than work access, my mom has it and bro has it. Then she asked me if J had it...I told her "of course because he takes case of bro and in case of an urgent situation, he may need to contact me". He has only sent me an e-mail one time that I could remember. Bea was upset and almost shocked and said "I mean that little to you"? I told her "no, but to function I need to adhere to a strict, no exceptions policy". So, anyway...I think that pushed her a bit over the edge. I have a very sore shoulder and neck pain. thinks it is stress and lack of sleep (I slept 2 hours last night and 3 the prior night). He promised me a message...which generally leads to "you know what". I am not sure my body can handle that in it's current state, LOL! HELP!
"I was lost in the valley of pleasure. I was lost in the infinite sea. I was lost and begging for pleasure. And this world is waiting for me.."-MM version
Good Morning Handsome, ... You are so funny! You could tell Jeffery the most awful things, and I picture him looking at you adoringly and saying, " Okay babe, what would you like for dinner tonight?" LOL I really think you would have to make an extreme effort to get him to walk out on you. You have finally met your match! LOL Wild horses couldn't drag him away from you. I'm just extremely happy he takes such good care of you and Daniel and is such a good genuine person. It would have sucked if he was less than an honorable man and everyone could see that but you, but you could not have chosen a better person than him to enter your life and help you out. I feel certain that no matter what happens down the road, you two will always be the best of friends and that is golden. I've got to do up bills today and do some running around, then maybe I'll have some fun and hang out at Barnes & Noble for awhile. I love book browsing and they have those comfortable cushy chairs to relax in. One time I fell asleep in there! I woke up to a girlfriend laughing at me. Whatever boring book put me to sleep, be assured I didn't buy it! LOL Well, honey, I hope you have a fantabulous day that is Tara-free! :) And know that you always put a smile on my face every time I hear from you ..... ~~~ Would love to hear how your day went later on or if you want to talk about anything, don't hesitate, okay?
LOL--not sure J would literally "die" for me...he likes himself a little too much. I honestly felt that J was very attracted to me from the beginning (remember, we dated a couple of years ago, briefly...and had remained friends), but since we saw each other now and then on a friendly basis...I had the feeling he was still interested in me. Yes, he told me he was only interested in casual sex as well...but when he requested to fly out w/ mend keep me company When I was traveling to the West Coast and other locales early on in our 'relationship'...it should have been an indicator that he felt more deeply than he claimed. I admit, I am not sure how I feel. I don't want to let him go right now. I do not want to nor plan to date anyone in London...not interested. Relationships take energy, time and cause stress....even the casual ones. J is pretty low key and tolerates me well. Don't feel like dealing with another needy or demanding or 'smitten' person in my life. I know that sounds horrid and selfish...and it is. I need to focus on work and bro...and J, to some degree I suppose. Fear not...I am sure I will do something soon top piss him off and send him packing, LOL! Hope that it is not before I leave for London...now THAT would suck!
You make perfect sense, honey. You have much on your plate to deal with. I think your relationship with Jeffery has grown very complex and complicated from what you first wanted it to be. Starting with the fact that there were to be no real feelings involved, and from the beginning he claimed to go along with that, but you surely recognize now that his feelings for you were intact from the very first day, and sure, they've grown even stronger now to where he wishes you would commit solely to him. He may not come right out and say that, but you know that's true. He will never be the one to break up with you, .. he's too in love and too devoted and smitten with you. Remember, "He would die 4 you!" :) I rather agree with you that London will give you time to sort things out in your head about him. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and I predict you will miss him like hell the first few weeks anyway, if not longer. You mentioned that you already have some friends in London, ... any of them likely to become lovers? You may meet someone new over there as well. Those British accents are pretty sexy, ... at least to my ears! LOL You will figure it all out as the time goes by. The only compass you need is to always be true to yourself, and I know you will. :) .. Love you, babe.
J, generally, has very poor taste in music...sorry to say. I think he is not a rock music fan like you or like Bea...but more of a dance music or pop music fan. I mean...that song was probably popular when he was 5...sounds like early 80's...but I really liked it. Isn't Prince dance music? Not sure. Of course I have heard of him, but could not name one of his songs. I am leaving on the 30th...but coming home that second weekend for the long Columbus Day Holiday. You write that I "must be thinking about all of this"...but in truth, I am not. I am too busy to allow my mind to focus on emotional stuff right now. I am a dude so I often avoid or ignore situations I do not feel like dealing with at any given moment. But....J did happen to mention something about this very recently. He conveniently mentioned that he got such a great deal on his apartment rental because he negotiated an extended lease for a cut rate. So he has the place leased for 2 years and paid 6 months rent in advance, plus 2 months security. He tells me he negotiated a sub-let clause in his lease. In other words, he can sub- let it himself to a third party if he is not to live there. Sneaky little devil, huh? LOL! He said he can move in there at any time or stay with me..it was my call. I told him that since it was not furnished I don't know how he can move in within a couple of days notice and that I would give him at least 30 days to be fair...he tells me his designer/decorator can furnish it within 24 hours if he is wiling to pay mucho $$ for him (decorator) to do that (and J has the $$ too!). I think he would prefer to stay with me. I understand that. I guess I need to talk to him seriously about this. I am torn though. Since I am moving it doesn't matter much now...but something should be settled upon my return. He hinted that he would love for bro and I to come live with him. I told him outright-- "no". His place is nicer, larger ...but I do not like feeling dependent on anyone. I need to live in MY place. I expect things will change during my absence , in some form. To be very honest...I don't think I can go more than a day without having sex with him and he has pretty much moved into my bedroom ...I admit I like it. But, I need this break I think. It will make things clearer for me. I expect for J as well...he may realize that he needs something else and he may be the one who wants a separation from me when I return from London...who knows! I am very conflicted and confused and the stress of relocating is not helping me to make good decisions in my personal life. Does this make sense?
I just read the lyrics to that Prince song, and I can easily see the verses that fit you, .. and they really do. You are indeed a very unique and special human being, my precious one, and there is no one else on this Earth quite like you. That I am sure of! There are two other songs I've got bookmarked that I listen to a lot that I think you would like. They're very sweet with nice melodies and words. One of them is, ... 'I Go Crazy' by Paul Davis and the other one is by Linda Ronstadt and is called 'Someone To Lay Down Beside Me'. Check them out and let me know if you like them. I'm glad you liked 'Magnet and Steel'. Hope you had time to enjoy your Sunday. I imagine this week ahead of you will be extremely busy as this month is coming to a close fast. Are you leaving on the 30th? I truly hope you will be able to reach this site from over there so we can keep in contact during the time you are gone. Have you ever had the conversation with Jeffery yet as to his plans with the apartment he put a deposit down on? You and I both know he isn't going to want to move out of your place or spend one day without you in it, so I'm wondering how you feel about this situation. Do you want him to keep living with you when you get back from London? You must be thinking about all of this. I know you are feeling pretty close to him right now, but many things could change for you by the time 3 months roll by. If he lets that apartment go, and I bet he wants to, then like Sheila said, you'll never get him to move out. What do you think you will want him to do?
So sorry...guess I misunderstood your message. When you asked me if a person with a dick and a pussy would "turn me on" I thought you were inferring that somehow it would. Not sure why...because if anything, it would make me feel rather 'turned-OFF', if anything...... and then when you wrote "lucky ducks" I guess I was a bit taken aback as I feel these people are genetic anomalies...mutations, if you will ...and they should not be exploited for perversion. And if someone has a dick and balls...whether or not they have hormone-induced breast tissue ..they are MALE....not "a beautiful looking, stunning women with gorgeous breast and a penis"...If they have a penis...they are male! They are cross-dressing 'trannies' or 'transexuals'. Don't consider them female solely because that is what they wish. Sorry...that's how I feel. I liked the song yous net to me "Magnet and Steel"--never heard it before but I thought it was sweet with a nice tune. You and J are going to kill me w/ your dedications. He gave me one yesterday as well (are you two in cahoots or something...as he has not sent me one since the last break-up when he sent me those 2 or 3 bad songs in a row). I really liked the one he sent me this time...never heard it before "I Would Die 4 U" by Prince. God...some (not all) of the lyrics I could have sent to him. He told me he has always felt like this was the song he would sing to me...but never had the balls to do it. We got into a little disagreement last night because he wanted me to bring him to the professional dinner meeting I had last night (the invitation included a 'guest'). I opted to go single and he felt neglected. He is over it now. I don't hide my sexuality...but I don't like to constantly explain to people that I am not gay, but bi...and that J and I are not exclusive...it is too much and too overwhelming. I fucked him pretty good last night so I think he recovered from the rebuff.
I'm not looking for anything wild, ... never was. There were only really those two threesome events in my life that were pretty spontaneous happenings, and I was curious and open minded enough to want to find out what that kind of stuff was all about, plus it all happened in my early twenties during a period of time when the 'love' generation was happening and there was a huge feeling of sexual freedom and exploration going on. At that time, what I did, didn't even seem out of place and was fitting right in with what many other people were exploring. Once I met my first ex and had the doors open to the entertainment industry of musicians and actors and the high life, ... WOW! ... what I saw going on made my past behavior look mighty tame. There were lots of drugs all around us and lots of parties going on. One sound company out of Florida was heavily involved with smuggling huge amounts of cocaine by hiding it in their sound systems. To my knowledge, this person never got caught, and she had us as house guests one evening for a lovely dinner. She was an older conservative looking lady that you would never guess to be involved with such a thing. A very well known singer/musician also use to smuggle in high grade pink cocaine from Columbia on his yacht. We became highly alarmed one time in a hotel room in California where my ex was talking/conducting business, and I remember there must have been at least 8 to 10 people in the room, and all of a sudden this HUGE bag of cocaine is brought out in the open and a drug deal starts going down right in front of us. That was scary! And we instantaneously knew we needed to get the fluck out of there, and we prayed a police bust didn't go down at that moment or our asses would be hauled off to jail as well! LOL So we tried to act like everything was cool and made a hasty exit. Neither him or I did drugs, but it was all around us, and you may feel that we should have snitched on these people, but the drug thing was so big and rampant then, and snitching can get you dead! As you can guess, along with drugs comes plenty of sex and parties. And we were invited to lots of parties, and they were fun and exciting. I saw lots of wild things going down and was given invitations to partake in various activities, but always declined. I will just say that is a very wild world that goes on in Hollywood and the high end entertainment world where the theme seems to be: 'Anything goes, and money is no problem!' Lest I gave you the wrong idea, I'm not into she males! LOL I was just a bit in awe and shock at what I was looking at. I was thinking about Jeffery talking to you about a possible threesome, .. and I think he offered that up to you because you were contemplating fucking Tara at that time, and I suspect that he was thinking that if that was going to happen, he wanted to be in the room when that was going down so he could make sure no emotional bond would form between you and her. I am not desiring anymore threesomes, orgies or wild sex. I would be thrilled to just find a guy that I can relate to and trust to share good times with. I have serious trust issues when it comes to guys. I learned the hard way that they are not always what they seem to be. Pick the wrong one who can seem so nice and near perfect, and you may end up battered, controlled, and even killed, not to mention a quick trip to hell every day of your life, ... and contrary to what it may look like to the outside world, ... it is not an easy escape to get away from these abusers. They threaten not only to kill you, but your family, your pets, your kids, whatever they can find to hold over you to keep you in their power. There is a scary guy wanted on America's Most Wanted that I watched last night that is like that. He killed 3 of his dogs because they didn't find him any wild rabbits to shoot and kill! He tried to kill his wife and burn down her house! I'd rather be alone than risk that!
Oh wow. Ummmmm....no, I don't get into stuff like she-males, transvestites and the like. Does nothing for me. I will even go out on a limb and say I find it rather an odd perversion...but to each his own. Same goes for inter-sex or 'hermaphrodites"....being bisexual does not mean I am attracted to people like hermaphrodites with genetic abnormalities, LOL! People have a misconception that gay/bi men are into kinky stuff like "she-males" and so forth. Because I am bisexual does not imply that I would find anything like that even remotely arousing about a dude who dresses liek a woman and who is taking female hormones...or a poor soul born with a genetic defect. I do not find these types in the least bit arousing. Frankly, I prefer to have sex with one person at a time. I have never been involved in an orgy (while I have had ample opportunity and invitation ) and never have, or had, the desire to. I would find it embarrassing...that's me. I still like my sex...no matter how wild, hot and intense it is...to be a private experience. I don't even have the desire to pursue a threesome and both times I was involved in one, it was initiated by another person. If I were again to be involved in a threesome...my preference would be me, a dude and a woman...but it is probably not something I would independently pursue or care that much about experiencing. I guess I am not very outrageous or kinky as I seem to be to other people......I get the feeling people must think of me as being sexually deviant, LOL! Sorry to disappoint! Even Bea, toward the end of our relationship, had requested to watch me have sex with another dude and/or to be involved in a threesome w/ me another dude. I actually felt a bit uncomfortable...but would have agreed had she set something up..she requested that I set it up...I never did. I felt odd confronting the guys I know with this 'opportunity'. I'd never even think of asking J... although he, like Bea, alluded to partaking in such an activity (me, him and a female)...I think he was being accommodating and supportive of my orientation by suggesting this ...but I know him to be relatively conservative (certainly not when he is alone with me...but his mindset re: these type of arrangements...3-somes, orgies, etc.). He did not have his heart in it when he requested that we partake in a 3-some and I am sure he was relieved when I didn't take him up on it. We are very similar sexually in our likes and dislikes...we have a good sexual sychrony. Re: when I began masturbating....I meant to convey that I was around 13 when I regularly began masturbating to orgasm as a ritual. Clearly, well before that age, I had wet dreams and certainly fiddled around down there like most kids probably, subconsciously, do. The second 3-some with which I was involved was not anything exciting either. Just sex w/ me and 2 woman...booth taking turns blowing me. I did not request they even do anything to one another as the first time it didn't go over big...and I think I only requested it out of curiosity...was not very arousing in retrospect. The porn I watch is mostly gay...men having sex and oral sex...nothing too kinky..some group sex. You would be disappointed in my conservative taste in porn it seems! Occasionally I watch hetero porn too--but the woman are so made up, with huge fake tits and they fake these screaming orgasms...or if they are home made...then the females are usually fat and out of shape and it's a complete turn off to watch unattractive people having sex, IMO. LOL! The dudes in the gay porn are much more appealing.
That's so hot what you do to each other. I'm glad to know what you like and some day I will put that knowledge to good use. Say, ... when we get together. :) I like to watch lesbian, and gay/men porno. What do you think of she males? I was looking at pictures yesterday of beautiful looking women, stunning really, with gorgeous tits, but they have a penis. Some of them have both a penis and a pussy. Lucky ducks! LOL Would that turn you on? I have to say I find that pretty wild! It would certainly not stop me from liking them if I felt an attraction to one of them. What about your other threesome experience? How did that come about? Was it any better than the other one? I remember playing with myself when I was really young, maybe 4 or 5 yrs old. I liked to pull the crotch of my pajamas up tight against my pussy so the seam would go inside my outer lips. I discovered in the bath tub that it felt good to have the water running on my pussy and clit. So I have you beat on self pleasuring by literally years! LOL
Jackie was not bi...as far as I know. It's been a while since I have seen her and we did not date for that long. I began dating Jay...who was my first gay experience shortly after this menage a trois event. Jackie thought it would be arousing and fun to fuck me together with her friend... to watch one another doing me, I guess. I was the one who requested they perform oral on each other so I could watch...however, they really didn't get into it so it was not at all hot for me. But....they gave it the old college try! I was thinking about one other thing that J does when he is performing oral on me that is a huge turn on....he generally is busy with his mouth down there...but while his head is buried in my crotch, I am usually lying flat on my back...he reaches up w/ both arms and hands and rubs my chest while he is blowing me ..I love that. And when he is on top of me blowing me (when we are having mutual oral sex) he holds on to my ass and pulls me tight and close to his face...that is pretty awesome. Now that we kiss more...we tend to have more anal sex than before. It is fine...I still get more of what I like (oral) so I can't complain. So your son beats off like 99% of the male population. I have been masturbating since I was about 13 and yes, my mom caught me once in the bathroom with one of dad's porn mags beating off. At the time I was mortified...mom just shut the door and said "let us know when you are finished...dinner is being served". Ugh! Well, she had 2 boys so I think she knew this was normal and to be expected. I still look at porn on the internet and masturbate ...mostly gay stuff..not exactly sure why. But I admit to looking at it less since J and I are so sexually active and so frequent. Only so many hour sin the day...right? LOL!
Oh my gosh! I need my toy and I need Jamie to have a locksmith call to the opposite side of Albuquerque so I have time to go rub my pussy and play with her, 'cause I need a pussy fix bad! I always ask him when he's leaving how far away his call is, and if it's in Rio Rancho, I wait because he could be back home very shortly, but if he has to drive into Alb., then I feel pretty safe that I'll have plenty of time to self pleasure. Every now and then, he will head out on a call and be back within 5 or 10 minutes because the call got canceled, so I am always sort of taking a chance with that happening. I would DIE if he caught me! LOL I caught him one time in the middle of the night in my office. He was sitting at the computer watching porn and his hand was very busy! LOL The doors to his bedroom and my office are glass doors, so even though he had it shut, I could see! He glanced back and saw me as I had only been standing there no more than 5 seconds. I started laughing and just yelled out, " Busted". I didn't mean to be a voyeur or to embarrass him but it all happened pretty quick, so I figured laughter was the best band-aid for that situation. Was your gf Jackie bisexual then with her girlfriend? For her to want that menage a trois I would guess she also wanted to play with her friend and vice a versa. When I had my experience, I didn't know how much contact the other girl wanted me to touch her. She was the one calling the shots and who invited the guy and me over to her house for dinner and for some play. I kind of knew what was going to happen, but didn't know if it would just be necking and petting or all out sex. The New Years Eve that I met her with our dates, I made a play for her bf when my bf through a tantrum and stomped off to a bedroom because we had been dating for several months and I still hadn't slept with him, and he was mad that I wouldn't go in the bedroom with him. Pam came up and asked me where Russ was, and when I told her what was going on, she said she would go talk to him. Meanwhile, her gorgeous handsome bf was sitting on a big bean bag chair and we were all a little buzzed from drinking alcohol. It was New Years Eve after all, so I sat down next to him and he immediately started kissing me like I had hoped. I was thinking I would get slapped any moment by Pam and I would have deserved that! The next thing I know, I feel an arm slide across my back and she kisses me on my cheek and then reaches over and kisses him! I was so amazed by her! Any other woman would have hated me! Anyway, the 4 of us ended up in a big necking and petting session on the living room floor that night. My shirt and bra got shoved up and my pants unzipped! I had hands all over my body and was getting kissed by everyone, and I think Pam's hand was in my pants rubbing and playing with my pussy more than anyone else. She is the only one that ended up completely naked, and surprisingly it didn't lead to any oral sex or intercourse. Just touchy feely, and I have to say I was just buzzed enough to relax and really enjoy it. She came up to me and said, " Wow, that was fun! We'll have to do that again!" Thus an invitation from her two weeks later to come to her house for dinner and to meet this guy! After dinner, we stripped and got on the bed. She told me I had a nice vulva! I think I was the first to ask, " What do you want to do?" She didn't waste time. She wanted to watch him sucking and licking on my pussy. So she laid next to him and I climbed on top of him and gave him oral as he was doing me. I was rubbing her thighs and belly with my right hand but didn't know her boundaries or if I should play with her pussy. Then she said, " Well don't forget about me!" So, while the guy was still licking and sucking on my pussy, I started doing that to her pussy. She was my first, and I really enjoyed it. She really liked watching what he was doing to me. Tell me about your other threesome. :)
Since you are entrapping me I guess I will be forced to indulge you....It is very rare that J penetrates me....I, most often and generally am the one who penetrates him. That is how it works with us. I am more of what is considered to be a top....if you understand gay lingo. J vaciillates between a top and a bottom...but with me is mostly a bottom, but not exclusively. Most of our activity now is very mutual and simultaneous. He is not a femme and there is a difference...though some dudes can be both bottoms and femmes. Our sexual activity consists, primary, of oral....which I prefer. In a gay relationship, you cannot really exclusively probe...or penetrate your partner as a sole or regular activity, as it can become irritating if you do it too much (for the receiver). I generally do this to J when he requests it or if the mood hits me, I initiate it as well. It is arousing for me as well as it brings me to orgasm. I enjoy doing this to him. Most often in gay relationships...I am always the prober and rarely am the one being penetrated...though I have been. It is not nearly as arousing for me than it is to be in the dominant position whcih is my preference. But, I have experienced both ends...no pun intended..LOL! Now that you are making me answer your queries.... I am becoming very aroused...J may be in for a surprise this afternoon... Anyway, as far as what he does to me during oral...well, he generally will use his tongue to lick and suck my entire genital area..including my balls/scrotum, upper groinal area where it connect to my scrotum, my penis..of course...but he focuses on my testicles...balls... for a long time sucking them, squeezing them, which I enjoy immensely. Then he will go deep and suck my penis while intermittently using his hand to stroke me when needed, sometimes stopping to lick my entire genital area again........and sometimes he requests that I come on him...his body, his face; in his mouth....If we are having oral simultaneously. Did this answer your question? I am not sure if you wanted more minute detail, curious one. Regarding my menage a trois (happened 2 different times)..yes I will tell you about it...though it was a while ago...memory is fading. I remember not loving it as much as I thought I would. The first time it was a woman whom I was dating in grad school and her friend. She asked me to fuck her and her friend together, and I jumped at the chance. They both satisfied me first...my gf (Jackie) performed oral on me and then I fucked her friend...it really turned her on (Jackie) to watch. Then they both tried licking each other's pussys and fingering (at my request) but it didn't go over big...they were not as into it as I was....so that part did not last long. In retrospect, I didn't do much to satisfy them...but that was at their urging. It was so long ago I forget much of the details. You should not be forcing me to tell you these nasty stories! I can tell you about the 2nd time I had a menage a trois ....but I have to run to my office to get some things and then meet up with some friends. I also have a dinner party this evening to attend. J is pouting because I did not offer to bring him with me...what a little baby. Later.....
If I was a guy, ... and a girl comes on too thick, too fast, throwing herself at me, ... I'm sure I would find that a turn off, and I think that is her problem. She is too desperate acting, too forward, .. too eager, too easy! Who wants that, but an equally desperate guy! It's the same thing with me when it comes to men. I don't like them coming on too strong and too fast. I like having time to scrutinize and study them. Time to get a feel of who they are and where they are coming from. Are they using a line on me, playing a game, insincere? A player? Tara will learn through trial and error what works and what doesn't. She strikes me as quite promiscuous and easy. Not near classy enough for you and what you need and deserve in a woman. You started to turn me on with how you stimulated and persuaded Jeffery that maybe he wasn't too tired after all! I would love to know more of what he does to you specifically when he gives you oral. I know you use to be quite satisfied and happy to just having oral performed on you. Are you finding now that you are enjoying it more and more when he penetrates you? Just curious. :) Soooo, do you not want to talk about that party of three? :) PS .... I think Pussy Cat and little miss kitty are dying to say 'Hi' when next we talk! :)
Ha ha! Yes, in fact, he did wake me up in a most enthusiastically fervent and zealous manner. We have been very active as of late...even more than before I left for Stockholm. We haven't gone one night without activity and only missed it on one morning (when I overslept for a meeting). He even told me once that he was "too tired"...LOL! That never happened before...so I changed his mind pretty quickly....stroked him down there while kissing his chest and his neck. Dude's so easy, LOL!
Poppycock ....even when he is not poppycock...is most obviously gay. I have zero doubt. In his interviews he, appears very gay, his features are almost too pretty to be male, LOL! Keep your cougar tendencies in check...unless you have a dick, the dude will not be interested in you... Sorry :( LOL!
Tara realizes that she annoyed me with her remarks about gay oral sex and that she probably offended me as well. I didn't hide the fact that I thought her comment about gay sex was idiotic and quasi-homophobic. She is not worldly enough, evolved enough or open minded enough for me. I don;t seem to connect with her as well as I do with other women. She is good looking, no doubt, dresses fashionably, which I like as well.....even has a nice body, but she still is not for me. J realizes that now as well. I think it makes him happy...which equates to more sex for me. Can't knock that side benefit! I am curious now as to why she doesn't seem to have more bfs since she is so cute. I think she must irritate a lot of other dudes as well, not only me. J thinks she is searching for father figure. I have the feeling that sex with her would be very unsatisfying for me and anti-climactic.
Good Morning Babe, ... I hope you got to sleep in this morning, and that Jeffery woke you up in a most delightful way! :) I've been curious and wondering for sometime about something we talked about before. And that is, ... how and where did you meet the two ladies that you ended up in bed with for a party of three? And who made the first suggestion for that to happen? Also, did the ladies lavish all their attention all of the time on you, or did they also get busy with each other? You can get as salacious with detail as you want. I remember you saying that you would have preferred a girl and a guy though. Didn't you enjoy it? I can't remember for sure, but was it just the one time, or was there another? Just wondering ..... :)
Gosh dang it! That is the second time that has happened to me where it posts prematurely and I wasn't anywhere near the submit button. I must be touching something on my keyboard inadvertently that is causing it to do that. So frustrating and now my screen is blacking out in flashes and coming back on. It did that one time before about a week or two ago. Anyway, I was trying to say that you had me laughing so hard when you were talking about how gay he is! Well, I certainly saw that easily in his theatrical characters, but when they showed John Quale being his normal self behind the scenes, I thought he was very handsome and normal acting without any gay traits that I could ascertain or pick up on. So I just thought perhaps it's possible he might be straight. I'm sure you're right though, now that I ponder what you said. What a relief that Daniel has adjusted now to the idea of staying with Jeffery in NYC. It would seem like everything is falling into place as time draws near for your departure. Tara obviously wanted to hang with you and start her flirting, so I like the way you got the hell out of Dodge! LOL I'm sure she wasn't planning on your hasty exit! Good for you, sweetheart! :) You handled that well. I'm glad Jeffery gave you that back rub so you slept so well. I know you're eager to start running again, but do be careful and don't rush too fast, or you might re-injure and then you'll really be screwed. Maybe just start out walking fast. Okay, I'll stop playing mommy! I care, in case you can't tell! Hope you sleep well and get the rest you need tonight. Much love, ... Barb ~~~
I'm very relieved to know everything is okay then. You're so funny about Prince Poppycock! hahahahaha You had me
I am not upset...just very busy and pre-occupied with many things right now. It is a good thing I don't have to fly to Brussels next week as I don't know how I'd even find the time. Okay....of course Poppycock is gay. C'mon! Is the pope catholic? Do bears shit in the woods? Is the sky blue? Let's see....1. He likes to dress up in a wig (ala' Marie Antoinette) and wear5 hours application worth of make-up 2. His costumes are flamboyant 3. He is an opera enthusiast 3. He sang "I am a Yankee Doodle Dandy" can-can and Rockettes style behind a backdrop of a Giant 3 dollar bill (helllloooo?) 4. He looks effeminate in and out of make-up 5. Dude's a femme, through and through. YES HE IS GAY!!!!!!!!!! If he were simply a comedian (and not a singer, performer, dancer too), I might say he is "acting gay" for his routine...but wouldn't that be rather Politically incorrect of him to do on national TV? Well, I think he is absolutely hilarious and very creative. If you seriously cannot determine this dude is gay...then you would be shocked and floored to all hell to meet J. The only clue to J's orientation is his meticulous grooming and dress...other than that...he appears to be about as gay as Tom Brady. The Prince, while probably a good looking dude, is not my type. I do not go for femmes sexually. I like men who look more masculine. If I want feminine, I opt women..of course. I like my women feminine and my men masculine...I think that makes sense, LOL! Piers is a dick...he sabotaged Poppy in favor of little Miss Brimstone demon spawn. And then another boring guitar strummer wins again....God help reality TV. Bro informed me that he has decided to stay behind in NY w/ J since J will not be able to come to London. Phew! I promised him I would come home as often as possible. My calf is finally beginning to feel better. J sent me to his orthopedist (J plays a lot of sports, Squash, Rugby, so does get minor injuries from time to time). His doctor determined that I tore a ligament...but only slightly and it should heal on it's own. He told me no excessive exercise (ummm...well we knwo that is out of the question...) or running for 3 weeks...F*** that ! If I feel better Monday...I need to run. I was so stressed out a couple of days ago over everything, so J gave me a back rub and I fell asleep for a full 8 hours. Woke up late...had to run to work for a meeting and did not have time to shave (I have NEVER forgone shaving in the morning before work). This meeting was very important. So your bff Tara came by later that day and said "oh hi...did you get my chocolates"? I told her yes and thank you. Then she told me I looked "sexy" with a 5 o'clock shadow. I told her "thanks" and walked away. Haven't heard form her since. I told J about my conversation w/ Beatrice and some of the things she had said to me. He is a bit dubious as to her real intentions...but maybe just because he is afraid that I will be closer in proximity to her when I relocate. He thinks that she is saying this as a last ditch effort and if I don't want to lose her...I'll chase after her because this is my 'last real chance'. I disagree. I tend to think she is being honest. Some of the things she confessed were sincere. Especially when she shared her feelings regarding my relationship with J. She could have kept that to herself. Well, it is easier for me not to see her anymore anyway. I don't feel like complicating my life any more right now. I need to have dinner and then I am going to try to turn in at about 11:30 tonight. I was supposed to be going out with some work friends for dinner...but I am too tired.
Good Morning Michael, .... Hope your day is off to a good start. It seemed so odd not hearing from you yesterday, and I'm just hoping nothing is wrong. Did I say something stupid that has you upset with me again? Talk to me, jelly bean ..... ~~~
Hello Mr. Mad Hatter, .... How are you and how was your day? I miss you. Is everything okay?
Can you believe that outcome? I thought for sure the Prince would at least be in the top 2. What a crock! I hope this doesn't sound to you like a stupid question, but do you think John Quale is gay? Obviously the Prince character displays gay traits, but does that necessarily have to mean John is gay? What do you think? My curiosity runneth over! :)
Oh my, ... That has really got to be tugging at your heart and tearing you apart when Daniel makes his pleas to you to take him along. Oh, how sad. Well, you are doing the only thing you can babe, and he can't be in better hands than with Jeffery. You and I both know that is the truth, and if your mom can't accept that, then she can take him back and take care of him. And yes, I know that is why he is now with you, because she really can't do that anymore. She will just have to accept this, and it is for only 3 months, which I think will go really fast, and you will be back home before you know it. I am convinced that if J is in your life long enough, your mom will learn to accept him. And if he isn't, then your mom will be hoping once again that you will find a nice girl. Did I ever happen to mention that I'm a nice girl? :)
I am feeling very stressed and not even looking at my screen as I type...have not even looked at spell check...my brain moves faster than my fingers...and I am an awful typist. Ignore the many typos. I need sleep. Badly.
:) Thanks. I am fine with her and I am not upset as I've known for some time we would never have a relationship as it was. I was hoping we could stay friends...but that is too hard for her and she does not want me to contact her anymore. The stress of moving....and now Daniel telling me that he plans on coming to London with me...despite the fact that J is remaining in NY...he says that J can come too. While he understands that is not to happen...he is applying pressure and guilt. Asking me why I always leave and if he lived with our mother still she wouldn't do this, etc. I told him that I would not be around to take care of him and I'd have to hire someone which may take a while and he ma not like them as much as J and his current caregiver. Then he told me he could take care of himself or I I could stay with him and then he care My mother is not happy with my relationship with J, the fact that j lives with us, that J will be mainly responsible for bro. I really think she is afraid I am gay which would bother her. I told her that I am bisexual and not gay... and her comment was "well you will never get married or be with a woman for life, so what's the difference..gay , bisexual, doesn't matter" ?. She wants all of her to be straight.LOL! Okay--I need to get off the internet I have been very OCD and am really behind. thanks for the ear. :)
Sweet Jeffery! He has good intuitive responses with you, and he will get you through this. I see all of this as a good thing. She can focus now on building a deeper love and a better closeness with Karl, who sounds like a very decent and good man himself. She will be more than okay. You don't need to worry about her. Jeffery is so genuine, giving, and full of love for you, that you are truly blessed and have all you need right now. You also have me if you need anything, and come January, it is still my hope you and I can finally meet and become lovers, if the situation is right. Keep your chin up, love! Everything will be okay and as it is meant to be. :) PS ..... Let's hope the Prince wins tonight!
not sure what happened to my last message. Later....
I was not sensitive to your comment about cuffing me...I knew it was a joke, don't worry. I was not a battered boyfriend, LOL...so, no baggage there, trust me. She slapped me during those 2 incidents I mentioned and I felt it was more of a lack of self-control brought on by an emotional overload....she has some low-level anger management issues as well. She can, at times, be really quite wonderful and she has some great qualities. When she slapped me during our argument, we broke up, for good, 2 days later. She broke up with me....and at first I was relieved (I didn't make the slightest attempt to change her mind or talk her out of it...I just said "okay")...then as the weeks went on, I became a bit depressed. I missed her, though I knew in my heart it was never going to work out with us. I believe her love was true. I have no doubt she loved me and I her....she is very impulsive, fiery, even histrionic at times. She never tried to beat on me...and had she, it would have been the last time, that I can assure you. Like when I told her that if she slapped me again...she would get slapped right back...she knew I was serious. I think I am going to give Bea the benefit of the doubt here...I think she has given up on me. I don't blame her a bit. She has not been in touch with me at all...and let's face it...she knows that if I were in Brussels sans J, she could call the (sexual) shots, if that is what she wanted. She is no longer living in NY so a relationship of a committed or exclusive nature is not even a prospect. She did not ask if J and I were together, or whether I loved him or if I was going to break up with him once I relocated. I think she really did not want me to come out as she does not see the utility in trying to maintain such an infrequent, only sexual relationship with me. It is really over and has no chance of resurrecting and that finally hit her. I have to respect her for not allowing me to see her given the narrow parameters I delivered to her regarding a 'relationship" (sexual and infrequent). Some things she said made me feel dejected, conflicted, and emotionally drained. She also told me that she always felt she loved me "too much". And "too much" was also not good. She said that she thought J was a better match for me than her, and it "kills" her to even utter that and to see us together. And that she never thought I would, in a million years, end up with a dude...but she sees the potential that J and I will be together a long time and it kills her to stand by and watch it. She thinks of me more as a "sexual chameleon" (her words) than an active bisexual...explaining that she felt I could end up with J..... and, well... that is her prediction from witnessing and seeing us interact together. She told me that she did not think of me as gay, nor straight...but a "very unusual man like I've never known. A complicated creature". LOL! Anyway...I take her comments as sincere, even if they are damning by faint praise! Her words are a bit hard for me to process now. I was a bit surprised that she did not want me to come out...but as I said, it works better for me and I was not really looking forward to the stress of the trip. But I feel convinced that she is sincere.....her voice was deflated, her perceived demeanor: despondent, resigned. When I got off the phone and walked into the living room, J looked over at me...not knowing even who I was speaking with, and said "Hey...is everything okay?" and I responded "I don't know" and then he offered : "Do you want to talk about it"? I said "No, not really". Then he asked "Do you want a hug?" and I said "yes, I could definitely use a hug". :)
I was not sensitive to your comment about cuffing me...I knew it was a joke, don't worry. I was not a battered boyfriend, LOL...so, no baggage there, trust me. She slapped me during those 2 incidents I mentioned and I felt it was more of a lack of self-control brought on by an emotional overload....she has some low-level anger management issues as well. She can, at times, be really quite wonderful and she has some great qualities. When she slapped me during our argument, we broke up, for good, 2 days later. She broke up with me....and at first I was relieved (I didn't make the slightest attempt to change her mind or talk her out of it...I just said "okay")...then as the weeks went on, I became a bit depressed. I missed her, though I knew in my heart it was never going to work out with us. I believe her love was true. I have no doubt she loved me and I her....she is very impulsive, fiery, even histrionic at times. She never tried to beat on me...and had she, it would have been the last time, that I can assure you. Like when I told her that if she slapped me again...she would get slapped right back...she knew I was serious. I think I am going to give Bea the benefit of the doubt here...I think she has given up on me. I don't blame her a bit. She has not been in touch with me at all...and let's face it...she knows that if I were in Brussels sans J, she could call the (sexual) shots, if that is what she wanted. She is no longer living in NY so a relationship of a committed or exclusive nature is not even a prospect. She did not ask if J and I were together, or whether I loved him or if I was going to break up with him once I relocated. I think she really did not want me to come out as she does not see the utility in trying to maintain such an infrequent, only sexual relationship with me. It is really over and has no chance of resurrecting and that finally hit her. I have to respect her for not allowing me to see her given the narrow parameters I delivered to her regarding a 'relationship" (sexual and infrequent). Some things she said made me feel dejected, conflicted, and emotionally drained. She also told me that she always felt she loved me "too much". And "too much" was also not good. She said that she thought J was a better match for me than her, and it "kills" her to even utter that and to see us together. And that she never thought I would, in a million years, end up with a dude...but she sees the potential that J and I will be together a long time and it kills her to stand by and watch it. She thinks of me more as a "sexual chameleon" (her words) than an active bisexual...explaining that she felt I could end up with J..... and, well... that is her prediction from witnessing and seeing us interact together. She told me that she did not think of me as gay, nor straight...but a "very unusual man like I've never known. A complicated creature". LOL! Anyway...I take her comments as sincere, even if they are damning by faint praise! Her words are a bit hard for me to process now. I was a bit surprised that she did not want me to come out...but as I said, it works better for me and I was not really looking forward to the stress of the trip. But I feel convinced that she is sincere.....her voice was deflated, her perceived demeanor: despondent, resigned. When I got off the phone and walked into the living room, J looked over at me...not knowing even who I was speaking with, and said "Hey...is everything okay?" and I responded "I don't know" and then he offered : "Do you want to talk about it"? I said "No, not really". Then he asked "Do you want a hug?" and I said "yes, I could definitely use a hug". :)
Wow! I am a bit in shock! I am searching for a way to express all my emotions and thoughts after hearing this. I so regret in even joking as I did to you about the 'cuff ' thing now. How insensitive of me, and I'm so sorry. Bea has a strange way of expressing ' love'. Hitting, slapping, demands, ultimatums, verbal abuse, shoving, bullying you, and then withdrawing invitations and sex unless you do what she wants which is for you to dump Jeffery. Does that really sound like love to you? It sounds like selfishness and trying to control, manipulate, and dominate another human being for one's own dire purposes to me. There was no violence in my family, and I have never ever hit a guy. I think Bea has some serious problems and issues within herself, and I don't mean this to sound cruel, but she just doesn't deserve you, and I honestly truly think she would make your life hell for you. She is who she is, and the same problems you had with her before will keep resurfacing in it's various forms. I'm sure you will always carry some fondness and love for her, but it just isn't in the cards that you two should be together. I don't like how she is trying to manipulate and control you by her basic ultimatum that if you want sex and her, then you get rid of Jeffery. Does that sound like unconditional love to you or a deep love that has your best interests at heart? No, it's all about her like it has always been from the start. That will never change. I know your conversation with her was painful, and I imagine it is leaving you feeling emotionally drained and distraught, but I think this is a blessing in disguise for you and a closure that needs to be. If you want to know what REAL love is, ... look no further than your own home, and what you already have! I love you, babe. I'm here for you. ~~~
I do realize that the "cuff upside your head" comment was not serious...did not offend me. I am also a non-violent person and have never hit anyone. I would not use physical force unless warranted...to defend myself or to defend someone close to me...or to defend even a stranger being attacked, I suppose. Anyway...I have been hit...slapped by women before, LOL! Not for being too physical or for trying to take advantage...but for disappointing them or ignoring them...or not giving them what they wanted. Bea slapped me, hard, across the side of my face...on more than one occasion. I believe it was for ignoring her, not giving her what she wanted, being "indifferent"..in her view. One time, she pushed me very hard from behind as I was walking away from her during a verbal altercation.... and then when I turned toward her she slapped me across the face....and then immediately apologized. I forgave her. I had never been hit before ...other than having a girlfriend slap me years earlier during an argument. Another time...we had an argument and it was over commitment issues, her needing the usual: more emotional assurances from me..and my failure to offer her some specific assurances she needed (like not seeing dudes). When she would not desist with her ranting...I ignored her and picked up a book or magazine and began reading...she pulled it out of my hand..so I walked away to another room. she followed me and shocked me by slapping me, very hard. I looked at her and said nothing...tried to keep my cool (mother would be very displeased if I struck her back as we were taught never to hit girls!), she then proceeded to slap me hard a second time. I looked at her as she attempted to swing her hand a third time ...I grasped her wrist and told her very calmly but most assuredly, that l if she did it again, I would slap her back. She relented. But that was the last time she slapped me as we broke up shortly thereafter. IF one spends enough personal time with me...I tend to bring out the worst in them, Lol...except for J. Maybe because he is a dude he is not as emotional (though he is fairly emotional) about commitment stuff. He tolerates me better than anyone I have ever known. I called Bea last night as I needed to make plane reservations.l I asked her if I should get a hotel or stay with her. She was very quiet on the other end. She calmly informed em that she cannot sleep with me anymore but I was welcome to come out. I asked her if she was expecting me or would she rather I not come. She said that it was a good idea not to come. She feels that during her last visit to NY when I was recovering...that J was much more prominent in my life than she had hoped and that I had indicated. Adn that I "am not admitting or do not realize how deep it is". She said she will not sleep with me while I am living with him, sleeping with him regularly and otherwise "not free" (her words). She feels the relationship is more than even I realize and that when she gave me the gift, she thought we could have a chance at something ...even if it was not what we had before. She is now convinced that as long as J is with me...that there is no chance of that. She said (rough translation) "you are not as free as you claim to be" and that she has "been the harlet/courtesan before and refuse to take on that role again"...claiming that is all she will be to me now. She is correct. That is all I have to offer her. I feel badly that I could not reassure her of the converse and come out...but on the other hand, I do not have the time to travel that far right now...even for 3 days. She told me that even though she does not love Karl as much as she loved me, that he is devoted to her and wants to make her happy, and that has to be enough. Then she requested I never call her again. Jeesh! It is like she is angry at me and I was never dishonest to her. Oh well...will never understand the feminine mind. The conversation wore on me emotionally.
Good Morning Michael, ... Thank you for taking a moment to post what you did, ... it means a lot and I'm relieved and very happy to know you aren't mad at me. Sometimes I say stupid things, or just don't say things well. I hope your day is very productive and goes smoothly for you. I'm really hoping Prince Poppycock wins tonight, ... especially since that rude idiot Piers Morgan had the audacity to buzz his amazing performance last night. Sharon Osborne was so right when she told Piers off! He is just trying to influence the votes to go to the little girl, but I'm hoping it backfires on him. They only allow 10 votes per phone line, so I voted for the Prince on both my cell and house phone, and also on the internet. I hope it makes a difference. All my love, ..... Barb
I am not angry and, perhaps, wrote some things that were out of line. I have no time to explain further. I am very busy and have fallen behind and need to focus on work today. Later....
For you,.. Hot Stuff. .... ' Magnet and Steel ' by Walter Egan. ~~~
Sorry honey, and yes I understand what you're saying. I was kidding about the cuff beside your head, that is why I put LOL beside that. I am not violent in the least and would never hit you, ... unless it was with a very fluffy down pillow in a fun and playful pillow fight with you. If I am coming across to you as being high and mighty, that is most unfortunate and is not where I am coming from in my mind and my heart and was unaware I sound that way. I will try to be more aware of that and I don't mind you pointing it out to me when you feel I am 'going there'. My sincere apologies. I also don't mean to put you on the defense, ... I was unaware you felt like I was attacking you, as that wasn't even in my thoughts, motive, or intent. Why would I, ... I adore you and always respect your thoughts and opinions, even if they're different from mine. The words 'shallow' and 'superficial' were poor choices on my part, and I wish now I would have simply said something like, " If you could only get past the 'yucky' feelings you have about animals." Maybe that would have sounded less offensive than the other two words I chose in a spontaneous moment when I should have taken time to pause and think about what I just chose to say. I didn't mean anything offensive but I can see where you could and did interpret it that way. So sorry. I also want you to know your opinion is VERY valued and important to me. I didn't realize I was making you feel like I was just shutting you off. I only try to change the topic when I fear I am upsetting you, but it seems my good intention does the opposite and just makes things worse, so I am a bit confused on what the best thing is to do. I just don't want a conversation to deteriorate into upsetting you and spiraling down to a horrible place like what happened before. My intention will always be to bring you up, not down, and especially now when you are stressed and dealing with so much. I'm deeply sorry for irritating you with the way I expressed some things, and I tell you the truth when I say I never meant to hurt or attack you in any way. Please don't be mad, and forgive me.
I was kidding when I wrote the first post (10:18), but then I went back and perused through your message (9:07) and found it a bit offensive, so posted again at 10:24 to tell you just that. I mean...why do you say these things and act all 'high and mighty' re: your opinions...and then when I am put on the defense by you...you pull the "I'm moving on..." "let's move on..." "it's all good"...in some variation...I mean, you say your piece....as if that is the only opinion that matters. When you get it off your chest and tell me how much I am missing in my life and that my reasons are shallow and superficial...and that you want to knock me up the side of the head....blah blah blah---when I defend myself, give you my opinion on your comments...it is always "lets' move on". Very annoying. Do you get that?
Oh babe, .. I thought you were kidding with me. I'm sorry. I just didn't want our conversation to deteriorate into hard feelings or a fight when I was hoping I could just share my thoughts with you. I don't intend for them to seem high and mighty or to be forced on anybody else. Please don't take offense as none was intended. If you want to talk further about this, then I will do that. I love you damn it, and I wasn't trying to hurt you or belittle you in anyway. You should know that ....
Come here big boy! :)
Re-read your earlier message which I originally only skimmed.....Not liking how you seem to throw your 2 cents in and pontificate about what you feel is "the beauty of nature" (or whatever your self-righteous topic of the day may be) and then, as always, when you feel you got your point across and I am put on the defense, you 'say' annoying things like "I'm ready to move on" or some variation of that. Don't do that. It is insulting and childish. Okay? No..I am not ready to move on and frankly, I wouldn't even give you the honor of letting you blow me right now. I am quite serious!
Nope. Not even that. I am reeeeeeaaalllly mad at you and since I have lost total respect for you anyway...you need not worry about appearing 'respectable' in my eyes. So, maybe you can put your money where your mouth is (pun intended) and finally prove to me just how deep you can go. You talk a big game, lady. Prove it! I DARE you..........
Will my pussy do? Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
That should be upping the 'ante' not 'anti'. Duh!
Stop trying to change the subject. I hate that. No I didn't see Tara....and I am pissed off at you so am upping the anti. A pack of gum will n longert do. Any other suggestions???
Do I owe you a pack of gum? LOL Did Tara make an appearance today? How are you doing? Is your leg still sore?