See this poll on: https://poll.fm/1795713/embed
Create your own.
Opinions! We all have them. Find out what people really think with polls and surveys from Crowdsignal.
closed
Opinions! We all have them. Find out what people really think with polls and surveys from Crowdsignal.
Stopping by to say hello. Is anyone going to watch Idol this season?
Do any of you watch X-Factor?
Do any of you like DWTS?
MOST importantly, 'What did you think of Ellen Degeneres as the new Judge on AI?' Didn't work out so well for her. shame
v667889HT166semi
v.net2100989746
Barbara,
Let's step back and take a deep breath. You put Michael in jeopardy by making direct inference with regard to something he never implied. You conveyed to your boyfriend that Michael would contact him, which in turn allegedly made said boyfriend "angry". Contacting someone unprompted in this manner is akin to stalking in NY state. I can suggest more appropriate ways to deal with your dilemma that do not involve Michael. He is not the person hurting your boyfriend by exposing the truth by way of a public domain message blog. The contextual information in the blogs is where the potential for hurt lies. Edmund Burke said that the only thing needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. Michael takes this sentiment too closely to heart. He thinks all deceit and mistruths need be exposed, regardless of cost. He is that honest. I don't fully agree with him. My request on behalf of Michael is to implore you to explain to your boyfriend that Michael had no intention of contacting him, other than the previously mentioned statements regarding these blog spots. I know Michael and I assure you he will not try to hurt you by exposing the truth to your boyfriend. He would have done it by now. If you are unwilling to explain that Michael had no intentions of personally contacting your boyfriend, then I will be very sorry to hear that, but I need to know either way. I assume you know about Michael's family, the trusts and all that needs to be protected. I am here to ensure that.
Thank you for your kind words about me, Barbara. I have read the exchanges and have discovered that my friend gets around even more than I was aware. Part of loving Michael is accepting that I am not the only one, nor will I ever be. I feel you are a wise woman and will make a rational choice. He is a good man and means the world to me. I won't sit back and watch while deleterious damage is being done to his reputation, or take a viewing seat if his or Daniel's health or personal well being are at stake. If it is not too much to ask, I would like to hear directly from you that your past threat of --there would be no telling what you would do if Michael sends the blogs-- will not be realized. I want you to appreciate my position in this debacle. I do not want to hurt anyone. Michael is a pussy cat and he does not have a mean bone in his scrawny body. He is very sensitive and very protective of his own emotions and loyal to the emotions of those he loves. I don't know you or your boyfriend and I have slight concerns over these threats. I am a businessman; help me to alleviate my predisposed cynical mind. May reason prevail here.
Kind regards,
Jeffery
Hi Jeffery, .. I did not see your post until I posted mine. I will certainly abide with your wishes, and at this point, I will have to even agree that this is best for everyone concerned. I love both of you and wish you the best. If you have read my past posts, you know that I have always told Michael that you are the best thing that has ever happened to him, and you are. I wish you, Daniel and Michael all the love and happiness in the world. Be well and stay happy. Love, Barb
Dear heart, .. Tony isn't angry, he just doesn't want you to get involved in his life in any way, shape or form. Sending him anything is CONTACTING him! Don't fool yourself and stop lying to yourself about that. He is a sick man and doesn't need to be hurt. I am not going to escalate this situation to the point of making threats as you once again are. I am not going to make demands of you as you are me, Michael. BOTH ARE WRONG WRONG WRONG ! Take a step back and chill little penguin. Let's not involve and hurt innocent people. Keep hurting and trashing me if you want. I refuse to give into your hate and hurt and throw it back. I hope it makes you feel better because I just want you to stop hurting inside. I think it is best if we give this a rest for now. I plan to get out and go for a pleasant drive and do some hiking. It's a beautiful day. I'll be sending you some love and good thoughts ... try to let go of this and have a good day. We can talk tomorrow if you want. Love always, .. Barb
Barbara,
This is Jeffery, Michael's friend. I've read the blogs and am familiar with your history with Michael. I will make this simple. Do not come here anymore and do not attempt to start a conversation with Michael. He no longer wishes to communicate with you. I will refrain from being more specific than that.
If you require more detailed information, leave a blog here and I will submit reply. You can e-mail me if needed, but please do not attempt to contact Michael. I will, henceforth, be reading all of the messages left here for him.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation,
Jeffery
cc: xl13897-H12
V.net 2100989745
No...YOU make a choice each day... to be self-absorbed. Stop with your daily affirmations...they mean shit. They are a substitute for your own absent self-respect and your insecure feelings.
You told Tony I was going to CONTACT /CALL him. An intentional misleading statement. You did so to cover your ass. Why did you say that? Why did you betray me in such a way? I told you that I may forward these polls to a public site, never did I claim to contact him. You tell me he is angry with me. Then...I must take that seriously, and I assure you that I plan to.
I have forgiven you for so many infractions over the years. No more. I have no forgiveness, no charity to offer anymore..... and I have no feelings for you...only numbness and indifference.
__________________________________________________________
"here is the absolute truth okay.."
--so is this to say that everything else you have been saying is NOT the absolute truth? Priceless. LOL! You do not understand...I do not need you to affirm your feelings to me...I do not care anymore. And you are the one to talk of being hateful and inflicting pain? You have been so devious and cruel to me...and to the people I love with your poisonous, jealous words.
Be smart. Send Tony a message telling him that you need to clarify that I never claimed to contact him. Tell him that I told you that I would send polls where we communicated so he could read for himself what you truly feel. You need not send him the poll as long as you explain. Please post the conversation and his reply here. It is the wise thing to do. The choice is yours.
Good Grief Charlie Brown. Calm your silly ass down. Tony only knows your first name and has no intention of looking you up. Why would he? Nor am I going to cause you any trouble. Look, Michael. This is dirt getting stirred up again that had already settled. Why are you doing this? You have not heard or listened to a single thing I have said because you have gone blind and you see what you want to see. I might as well talk to a brick wall. Here is the absolute truth, okay? I love and cherish both you and Tony. I think Liz is a lovely woman who is only looking for love and happiness as we all are. I got up this morning feeling happy because I have a good life and many blessings. I count you among my blessings even though you have trashed and tried to hurt me real good this morning. I know you have better in you, and I choose to still love you, so deal with that one. :) I am not going to fight with you anymore today because that is not what I am all about. Every day of our lives is a choice to love, to be compassionate and merciful, forgiving and understanding, .... or we have a choice to hate and inflict hurt. I choose love Michael. Which one do you choose?
How well do you know Tony? He is a licensed PI and can access info about me. You misled him in order to cover your ass by inferring that I was going to call or e-mail him (when all I mentioned was forwarding some discussion blogs to a public date site). But...you wanted to tell him that I might be calling him...or contacting him....of course failing to mention thatI was going to only forward blogs that denounce you as a betrayer. You are a betrayer, of me and of him...you lie and betray only to cover yourself and your misdeeds....if you can't have me, then you want someone...Tony to be there for you. It's all here in black and white, unless of course your feelings and proclamations changed overnight, LOL! . No disputing it. Now that you have erroneously misled Tony whom I do not know personally (nor do you...not really)to believe that I am intending to contact him, I need to protect myself and my family, my brother, J and even Liz and Megan against what could transpire. Thanks a lot. I am now taking your threat of "There is no telling what I might do" VERY seriously. Should have listened to J's advice at the onset.
YOU.MISLED.HIM.ABOUT.ME.
YOU.LIED.TO.HIM.ABOUT.MY.INTENTIONS
YOU.PUT.HIM.AND.ME. IN.A. BAD.SITUATION.OUT.OF.PURE.SELFISHNESS
GET IT NOW?
HOW THE HELL CAN TONY BE USPET WITH ME? I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO HIM. NEVER MET HIM. NEVER SAID I WAS GOING TO CONTACT HIM!! Ughhhhhhh... thick thick thick.
I told you when you pulled your shit last time that you were such a deceiver that I would forward Tony the polls where you discussed his deficits, your feelings etc, for him compared to me only because I felt you were being a lying hypocrite....but you were too chicken shit to admit it. But you just bullshit to him and try to get off on a technicality by telling him that I was going to contact him. You betraying lying bitch. You were scared he might find out the truth. Everything you so readily shared about him and the proclamations and declarations you made to me! You KNOW he would not accept that. What man would?? Not me! ALL A LIE!! You telling him I was planning to contact him....That implies I would be in touch with him. Now you put me in a most awkward position and my only proof of what really transpired is embedded in these polls...your word VS mine. I have to prove to him that I had no intention of contacting him and forward him the damn polls anyway. Jesus you are so self -destructive. Mind boggling! You should have told him (if this was your plan) that I was going to, perhaps, forward some recent discussion polls and ....3 in total...that contained information about our discussions. But you deceived instead. You were trying to cover your ass. Games. Again...all at my expense! You keep saying that you never lied to Tony...are you kidding?? You certainly did lie! Stop playing middle school games. You were the one who made a vital threat by saying "There is no telling what I will do!" J urged me to contact the NYPD...I did not. Now Tony is up my ass!? He lives near me and J and I do not need this shit. I NEVER claimed to contact him personally...To think that I would call or e-mail Tony, ha ha...like you are in any way that important to me. Tell him the truth...that you said things about him to me and said many things to me about your feelings while claiming to love him and only him! I would have been fine had you never mentioned anything about me...but to lie and tell him Iw as going to come in contact with him, to deceive him and pretend Iw a some jealous lover? I was considering forwarding some discussion polls to him via a public board (the dating site). You best come clean with him or I'll happily sic J on you! Do not underestimate J or his devotion to me please. You best talk to TONY TODAY. As the son of a cop...I don't think he wants the police breathing down his neck for your ill-thought lies and offenses. You betrayed me AGAIN...and instead of rationalizing and defending your abhorrent actions...try fucking apologizing.
And for the record...lay off Liz. Don't ever speak of her again. You will never in a million years be HALF the woman she is.
" I want everything for myself. " Where do you get that? I try to constantly make peace with you and love on you, and you constantly pick fights with me and go negative, yet I am the one with a black heart? LOL I have not lied to Tony damn it. I am not obligated to him or anybody else to have to spill every damn little thing I do, nor is he obligated to have to tell me every little detail. We are not married and we are not in a committed relationship yet. GET IT?? He would rather not hear about you, .. UNDERSTAND? He and I understand each other and we love each other and we give each other space to be who we are, and our relationship progresses and grows every day, so what is your problem? I'll ask you again, what have I lied to you about? I withheld telling you he was upset with you because I didn't want to hurt you. Is that so bad? Jesus Michael, stop being so cruel and such an ass.
Yes you have a heart and it is as black as coal. This latest ranting post...especially the last paragraph... evidences this claim. YOU LIED TO TONY about me. YOU are the hypocrite and betrayer and you cannot be trusted. You want everything for yourself and you rationalize your scurrilous actions. Grow up you user. Ellery is far from perfect...but she sure is a cut above you. THAT is the truth.YOU are the most hypocritical person I have EVER come across. You repel goodness.
I don't care whether or not you told Tony you were in love with me and all of the over-the-top proclamations you made to me in that vain....But, you intentionally misled him about me and LIED! You betrayed me and you LIED about my intentions to cover your lying ass. You lie and cannot be trusted...all for self-preservation. I never fabricated anything to Liz or her husband...and she has been honest from the start with him....HE encouraged her to have affairs you dim wit. SHE is not the whore! It was above-board! There really are people like us in the world...those with integrity and honesty and character. People like you simply cannot conceive of that. I never claimed I was pure as the driven snow...though compared to you I certainly am. But, I do not lie, deceive or betray for my own gain--LIKE YOU SO READILY DO! Get real....
What are you so upset about, and what have I lied about? Tony knew the truth about you from the very beginning, .. he knows I am very fond of you. He knows we talk and he told me I have the right to talk to whomever I want, just as he has a right to talk to whomever he wants. He doesn't tell me the name of every woman he talks to. We are not in a committed relationship yet. Understand? He doesn't tell me what he talks about with these other women and I don't have to tell him what you and I talk about. Geez, Michael. Give me a break and take the damn target off my back! I've been nothing but kind and loving to you and you want to trash me. Why? What have I lied to you about? I just told you the truth, and I was hoping to spare having to tell you that he was more mad at you than me. I don't like hurting people, can't you see that? As for your suggestion that I look for some rich dude to use, I am not your little buddy Ellery that uses men! I have always made my own way thank you very much! You are being extremely cruel and dark to me for no good reason. May I remind you Michael that I am a human being and I have a heart and sometimes I hold back saying certain things because I don't want to hurt someone. I am playing by the same rules that Tony is in relation to where we are at with each other in our relationship, .. do you get that? I have been nothing but honest and kind with you, .. so what the hell is your problem? You haven't even met me and you don't know me at all, .. especially from what you just described. You are being EXTREMELY judgmental and you judge me wrong. Does Liz's husband know about all the details between the two of you? Does he know she calls and sends you emails professing her deep love for you every day? Does he know she plans to leave him? Would you dare call her deceitful and a liar? How about yourself Michael? Did you call her husband up before you got together with her and tell him you were going to start fucking his wife? You knew what was going to happen, and you WANTED it to happen. You are not as pure as the driven snow either. If you are so perfect and without sin, then keep throwing stones at me Mr. Hypocrite.
To answer your post of yesterday...NO, I do not agree with you re: who misunderstands whom. I understand you very well...trust me, you are not too complex, LOL! I DO NOT misunderstand you or your scurrilously obvious and transparent intentions. You lie and deceive...and you are too damn stupid to even acknowledge it. YOU cannot handle the truth about yourself. You use Tony and you lie to him...and betray me in the process. You have 0 integrity and I have 0 respect for you.
We speak a different language because you are not the intellect (by any stretch...) that you THINK you are. Faaaaaaaaar from it! You have no depth and no character. All of the things you see yourself to be and wish to be, are not. Maybe you'll get lucky in the next life. So self-centered. It is no wonder Tony is the best you can do. And to be honest...even he is too good for you. At least he is honest and has integrity, despite his many deficits that you have shared with me both physically and psychologically... ...his lack of intelligence , small stature, inability to perform...all nothing compared to your romantic impediments. You lecherous, lying woman.You caused yourself a lot of problems you know.
Wouldn't it be easier to find some old, rich dude to deceive and lie to and steal his money. sure you would be very good at that. Or...am I misunderstanding you again?
To lie in order to get the upper hand,. To deceive two men. Shame on you. You lie so deep.
Okay, .. forgive me but I am keyed up about treasure now, and I have one more treasure story I want to tell you about. You have probably heard about the Lost Dutchman mine, right? Long fabled with people looking for it. I know where it is and I have stood on the property looking down and seeing gold speckles in the sand/dirt everywhere around me. This goes back to when I lived in Scottsdale, AZ and we were still doing sound and lighting. My ex knew many people and his partner Jim D. that I have mentioned to you before also had many business contacts. The problem with this famous mine is that it is full of water and pumping it out doesn't work because it immediately fills back up with water. The people that own it took us out on the fenced off property to show it to my ex and mostly to Jim because he is genius level in intelligence and my ex was also extremely intelligent. The owner wanted their input on how to solve the water problem so it can once more be mined. The dirt tailings from the mine are just full of gold dust and I could tell that from walking in it and seeing the gold sparkles. I had gold on my shoes! It was amazing to see. What was the most fascinating is where this mine was located. It is just north of Superstition Mountain that lies east of Mesa, AZ. You would expect it to be on a mountain side or in the mountains. It is not. It in fact lies just north of a highway that leads out to some big lakes, and it is on flat desert land. It is in fact a hole in the ground that goes downward and I saw it full of water that was maybe ten or twelve feet down from the ground surface. I could not tell because of that if it then went at an angle. No one would ever guess going by what lays on that property, .. that was the beauty of it. It is well fenced off and guarded. I have to wonder if they ever solved the water problem. I can't remember if Jim offered a solution to the problem. I remember him saying he understood alchemy and was talking about that.
My dad was very keen and highly interested in past history, especially of Colorado and the old west. He knew clues to a treasure that only him and his best friend knew about. His best friend's grandfather owned mountain land outside of Denver. One day his grandfather was working outside on his property when he sat down for some rest under a pine tree. He happened to look up and noticed that a knife had been lodged into the tree at about the height of a person on horseback would have reached. Well, one day a stranger took refuge from a storm up in a ranger tower near this area. The ranger befriended him and the man soon began to tell his story. He had been captured and sent to prison for a train robbery where they took off with a huge gold shipment that was worth something like $40 to $60 thousand dollars back at that time, so you can imagine what it would be worth at today's gold prices. They were on horseback and being hunted. He said they buried the gold under a pine tree and marked it with a knife in the tree, as the gold was too heavy to escape with at that time. He said the other guys involved were all killed or dead. It had been something like twenty or thirty years since the gold was buried and the terrain had changed drastically from what he remembered, and he had no luck in finding the gold stash. Soooooo, there is likely a very good chance that knife in the tree marked the treasure. The mountain property no longer belonged to my dad's friend, and therein lies the problem. They would have to get permission from the current owner to dig for the treasure, and would likely have to tell them why. That about stops it dead in its tracks, because the minute the owner thinks he might have treasure on his property, he will not likely give permission and instead look for it himself. So, to my knowledge, I don't think my dad and his best friend ever had a chance to look for it. My dad would have loved this newest challenge and he was a master at crossword puzzles and solving mysteries. Here are the clues to this treasure:
So far, I have found two blogs that are also helpful.
The first is Fenn's blog at http://www.oldsantafetradingoco.com/blog/
The second is written by a treasure hunter named Dal Neitzel that I tagged along with on a hunt in Red River. http://lummifilm.wordpress.com/
And most importantly the book "Thrill of the Chase" by Forrest Fenn can be found at Collected Works Bookstore in Santa Fe. http://www.collectedbookstore.com/
Last, but not least, the poem by Forrest Fenn.
As I have gone alone in there
And with my treasures bold,
I can keep my secret where,
And hint of riches new and old.
Begin it where warm waters halt
And take it in the canyon down,
Not far, but too far to walk.
Put in below the home of Brown.
From there it's no place for the meek,
The end is ever drawing nigh;
There'll be no paddle up your creek,
Just heavy loads and water high.
If you've been wise and found the blaze,
Look quickly down, your quest to cease,
But tarry scant with marvel gaze,
Just take the chest and go in peace.
So why is it that I must go
And leave my trove for all to seek?
The answers I already know,
I've done it tired and now I'm weak.
So hear me all and listen good,
Your effort will be worth the cold.
If you are brave and in the wood
I give you title to the gold.
Jeffery likes to really express his love to you with lavish eloquent words and phrases so that is why I felt it had to be him. Then I guess it has to be Liz, .. right? " Love had always been my formidable foe. " That is the line that threw me to believing it was him. Hard for me to see a woman saying that. So was it Liz? You wouldn't beg Megan to tell you she loved you, would you?
There is a well known art gallery owner in Santa Fe by the name of Forrest Fenn and he is an author as well. He has hidden a trunk with $2 million in treasure in the mountains north of Santa Fe and it will belong to whomever finds it. I'm going to put on my hiking boots and go treasure hunting. He left nine clues in a poem. Here is what is inside the trunk and it weighs about fifty pounds. :
Secondly – you need to know what’s inside the ancient, bronze, Romanesque lockbox.
This is a list of just some of what is inside the lockbox that alone cost over $20,000. Fenn says there is over 20 troy pounds of gold, a 17th century Spanish ring with a large emerald, a bracelet with 254 rubies, six emeralds, two sapphires, and a bunch of small diamonds, a historic bracelet with round turquoise beads, a 2,000 year old necklace from Columbia and a 20,000 word autobiography by Forrest Fenn wax sealed in an olive jar.
Hi babe, .. LOL Yes, there are times we misunderstand each other for sure. I feel it is more you misunderstanding me, than me misunderstanding you. I am guessing you will agree with me on that one. Yes, I am very much in the habit of offering up explanations or justifications for why I act or feel the way I do because it is my wish to be understood. I feel you often take that the wrong way and interpret it instead as me making excuses when I am just trying to communicate so you will understand my thought process along with perhaps my background history with events that I may have gone through or experienced that have shaped why I act or think the way I do. After all, we are all products of our upbringing and life experiences so we are all bound to see events and things through different lenses.
Okay, back to Tony again. It all started when I asked him if he had called me and had that dramatic song playing loudly in the background, yet no one said anything. ( It was definitely in someone's house and not a solicitor recording as the phone was obviously held to a loud speaker. It was just one day after you had threatened to send Tony info on us. ) He told me that it wasn't him. I then commented to him that I think I know then who it might have been. He asked who and I said, " Michael. " He said, " The one from New York? " I said, " Yes, .. he and I have been talking to each other again. " Silence. I then told him that he had nothing to worry about because we just had a huge fight and we are no longer talking to each other. I also told him that you might try to contact him. That REALLY pissed him off and he hung up on me. I tried calling him back a few minutes later but he wouldn't pick up so I left him a message telling him that I loved him and to please call me. He didn't call. He later sent me that email that I copied onto here for you to read. I was very surprised when he didn't block me like before, and he had apologized for hanging up. I wrote him back to assure him that you were not dangerous and that you wouldn't do any harm to him. A few days passed and he finally called me. You and I were still not speaking to each other so I told him again that I had not heard anymore from you and that he had nothing to worry about so we made up. He told me he would never tell me who I can and cannot talk to. What upset him was your threat to contact him more so than my talking to you. He told me he has enough shit to deal with, ... without some jerk wanting to involve himself in his life. I told him that it would have already happened if it was going to, so again he had nothing to worry about. He wishes that I had never talked about him to you, and I told him that I did because I was proud of him, love him, and I considered you my friend so we talk about our lives with each other. He said he just doesn't want you contacting him, and again I assured him that you would not. I asked him if he missed me and he said, " Well, .. you have sort of become a habit. " LOL That is exactly the way it all went down babe, so I hope that quenches your curiosity. He has never asked about you since all of that and I feel it is because he respects my space and right to choose my friends just as he chooses his.
No it was not from J. Does that read like something a dude would compose? Certainly not J's style of prose.
It was a reply to a simple request I addressed to someone. The command/request was: "Tell me that you love me, baby. I need to hear it. And it better be good." Well, it was a good, heartfelt reply...and I believe it.
___________________________________________________
I have a hard time communicating with you lately...it is like we speak a different language. Such different ways of expressing ourselves. I am very honest, rational, sagacious, pointed, no 'beating around the proverbial bush' for me. You are both intentionally confounding and decidedly one sided, unclear, self-ambition to the point of being non-commital to your word, obtuse and truly unable to answer a question without qualification, prevision . It is just different styles and different ways of expressing ourselves; my being more cerebral and ingenuous, your style being more obtuse and gray; non-commital to your word (not trying at the onset to be deceitful, necessarily...). Does this make sense? I hope I did not insult. I have a hard time relating to you sometimes. Hopefully this is a bit clear and will avoid conflict with you and you won't go hysterical and jump on me and begin with your self-satisfying slurs ...had enough of those for a lifetime! LOL! Okay? Peace request?
Let me try to be more simple with my question...perhaps this is more clear....it requires only a simple response, no unnecessarily elaborations, no beating around the bush, no deliberate evasions, or false justifications necessary: You told Tony you were talking to me; Tony disengaged the conversation; Tony is now talking to you; what did you tell Tony to make him forgive you so readily? What did you tell Tony about me? Did you tell him you would no longer talk to me? I want the truth. I do not want you lying to me by intentional omission or in any other way. Understood? Have some integrity and self-respect please. A simple honest answer is appreciated.
Darling, it wasn't in the last few days when I told Tony you and I were no longer talking, it was back when we got really hurtful with each other and I believe at least a week went by that you and I were not talking and I really thought that was the end us. I am happy and glad now that it was not, but that is when I told him we were no longer talking so I did not lie to him and I really thought you would never talk to me again. I told him the truth Michael as I knew it to be at that point in time. I don't want to hurt him and I have to remember he is not well and doesn't need the worry and stress. If I can ever feel like the moment is right and he will be receptive to an update about you, then I will tell him, but not every single thing I do needs to be his business just as it is not my business what he talks about to these other women. Okay? I have been honest with him most of the time and that is now why he is bothered by my feelings for you. I can't blame him for that, and I would be right down rude to keep talking about you with him. Believe me, .. he doesn't want to hear it. I hope we can put this to rest now. I haven't lied to him and I haven't lied to you.
That message reminds me of Jeffery so I am going to guess it is from him. Am I right? :)
I bought new phones with a digital answering machine included. I was so frustrated with the cheap ones Vanessa gave me because they wouldn't always click on, they would make a squeal sound if I moved around and they were just plain awful. These are nice, but I still need to read the manual to figure out the answer machine and some of the other features. I wanted you to know that Vanessa has left me a message or two and she told me it is a male voice that currently comes on and says to leave a message. I don't know how many times it currently rings before the machine comes on. I may decide to leave it, or maybe make a message of my own at some point, I'm not sure. I know you said you will never call me, but in case you change your mind, don't freak if you hear a male voice. Tony tells me I sound much different and much better on the new phones.
cached//
start/end/start
25 Aug, 2011
blocked//xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx remove/insert/remove
Michael, you must know,
The first moment you approached me with that sweet wide grin, I knew I loved you. I knew beyond question that I would love you forever and that it would be toxically hazardous for me to avoid you. Love had always been my formidable foe, but no longer. I knew at that moment that loving you would mean no mercy for my heart. You became my arterial supply, my lifeline, my respirator. You swallowed me whole by smiling in my direction. I knew then you would plague me for the remainder of my existence and beset me with your constant mental presence. Like the tide you drag me in and then collar my sanity to take me far beyond what I can imagine, my thoughts focused and pervasive, but always at your command. I am deeply rooted inside of you and my strong intrepid volition cannot escape. I love you.
I surrender, I surrender, I surrender.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See if you can guess who this is from.
Hmmm..coem to think o fit...I remember mentioning ont he tech site that Bea was coming to NY to attend a conference...but it was cancelled or postponed. She was not going to stay with me...maybe Frank exaggerated or extrapolated and you read it somewhere. Otherwise...nit sure why you would think Bea would be coming out. Bea and I are so ancient history.
I am not trying to make you feel bad about anything...I am being honest. I have no stake in this. You are being deceptive to him and you have lied to him and I am just pointing that out. Jeesh---stop trying to rationalize this. You intentionally misled him and I am slowly but surely losing respect for you. I think it is kind of selfish. You don't remember how many days we "did not talk"...just check it out here, babe...it's all on this poll. It was two days. I was extremely busy with many responsibilities and you accused em of being cruel...not sure why. You need to be true to yourself and others and if Tony would not understand and you still want him...then you should decide whether you want to pursue something with him and tell him you still want to be friends with me...or dow hat he wishes...but for God's sake...be honest about it.
I think since he was so upset that we were merely talking that you told him you were no longer communicating with me to save your 'relationship' with him...and that's a bald faced lie. Lie as much as you want to Tony if that is your desire...but don't lie to me. I know the type of person he is and I can pretty much guess what will sate him and what will not.
Why do you think I had secret house guests? Why would Bea come to visit me? No...my friend from MIT and my mom were my latest visitors. Liz was supposed to come out...but I talked her into waiting until after Jeffery left (and Is hared al of this with Jeffery too). Jeffery's friend Sam came out for a couple of days (she is so hot looking) and she is separated from her husband so was crying on J's shoulder (though she initiated the separation) ...LOL! If I wasn't so encumbered...and if I was not with J particularly...I'd love a shot at that beauty. Not sure what you are getting at as far as my supposed "visitors".
"Through Glass" by Stone Sour
I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head
How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget.. you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me
Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head
I don't remember how many days it was that we didn't talk, but it seemed like forever and I did tell him the truth at that time that we were not talking to each other. Honey, please don't make me feel bad about this. You mean the world to me too, and I am trying damn hard to keep the peace with everyone concerned. I have no doubt that if I knew every little thing he has said to other women, it wouldn't exactly make my day either. He and I are not at the point of marriage and final commitment. Okay? We are more or less dating and have not said goodbye to all other people in our lives. It would be hurtful to him to rub you in his face, so why do it? He would rather not know believe me, and if there is another girl he is fond of, that is his business not mine. I am just happy he loves and cares about me and calls me everyday. I am content with that. Again, neither one of us is at a point where we must give up ALL other people. Far from it. Alright? Nowwwwwwwwwwww, .. who were your other house guests? Was it Bea? And you said you would answer my other questions if I answered your question about Tony, .. so now it is your turn jelly bean. :)
"He talks to other women as friends and I am talking to you as a friend.."
--Really? You talk to me as a friend? Ummmm....since when?
"I know he does some minor flirting that he considers innocent and that doesn't bother me because I know I am the one he loves.."
--Minor flirting? Oh, okay. Re-read your message from around 4 days ago that begins "start by locking the door and never letting me go..." read through the entire post, 'friend' ...LOL!!
It is your business what you tell him, but why did you tell him we were not talking? Because I didn't respond to you in 2 days?? LOL! That's a lie, darling...I am a bit disappointed...but again, it's your business. If you cannot be honest with him...you have no chance. If he is angry that you are in love with me or that you are wanting to have a relationship with me or simply that you are talking to me...then you need to end this "friendship" with me and stop misleading him. I know you gave him the impression (whether or not you came out and said it...) that you ended our conversations because he was upset. Is that true? Is that fair? Is that the type of relationship you want with him? If you led him to believe that you stopped talking to me because it bothered him...then you should do the right thing and stop talking to me. Right? Stop making excuses for being dishonest and misleading...and stop blaming him for your infractions. Just my .02
I was afraid you would insist on that. LOL Okay, I'll tell you but I think it is only fair, fellow evader, that you tell me who your other house guests were. I told him the truth at that time, .. that you and I were no longer speaking with each other. He told me he would never tell me who I can and cannot speak to, and it is my choice. One thing is very clear though. He knows I have feelings for you, so that bugs him. I have not given him an update. I don't think he can handle that Michael. I want to be up front and honest with him, but I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to lose him again. For now, I am staying mum and hoping he doesn't ask me about you. If he does, I am not sure what I will say. I don't think he will ask as he isn't that type of guy that inquires. He talks to other women as friends and I am talking to you as a friend. I feel I am playing fair with him. I know he does some mild flirting that he considers innocent and that doesn't bother me because I know I am the one he loves. So there you have it. :)
So answer my last e-mail, evader. The one about Tony...then I'll answer the questions, etc. in your latest.
Hi Michael, .. Your mom is very good at being what she is, a loving and caring mother. You're so lucky to still have her in your life. I really miss my mom and dad at times, and to be honest, I try very hard not to even think about them because it is just too painful. They both gave me a very good life and they were good, loving, charitable people. The memories I have are wonderful and I am so grateful for them, but it is also bittersweet, sad and painful to remember them now, knowing they are in my past and I can no longer experience them in the present. Therefore, I 'try not to remember', .. just like the title of that song. The holidays can be a bit difficult and melancholy for me as well because I remember big gatherings of my cousins and aunts and uncles at my grandma and grandpa's home that sat just a mile outside of our little town. It was all so storybook perfect and I remember it all so vividly. If only I could turn back time ....
Daniel is so funny! I would have been laughing so hard hearing him quickly run away after trying to sneak a peek on you two and getting caught. haha He's precious. It's too bad he will likely never know what it is like to make love to someone. Do you think he could ever handle that? I'm guessing not. His curiosity has got to be eating him alive about it. I feel great compassion and empathy for him.
I don't know Liz, but can feel that she is such an open and loving person and so very deeply in love with you that I think she is likely to be very open to the idea of you keeping Jeffery in your life as your male lover. I would guess that she would rather you stick with one terrific guy than to have multiple male lovers down the line. Hopefully you can keep both of them in your life. You will have to give up all other females as I don't think she would go along with letting you do that. Am I right? I think Megan is likely the last one you will have gotten to experience outside of her. She and your son will be your new world Michael, and I can only be happy about that because I know she is a classy, loving and very deserving woman that is worthy of you. I think the only real dilemma you are facing is, who gets to live with you? May I take a guess? She will not be happy for long with living apart from you even if she is right next door, I think you know that. The scenario I see playing out at this point will likely be Jeffery moving to his luxury pad and you finding a new place to live with Liz, your son and Daniel, but you will still get together with Jeff and I think she will be okay with that since she loves you and realizes you need him too. I know I would want that for you if I was in her place. I would even be open to one big happy scenario where he would also live with us and would be considered family and clan. He would be so lonely without you and Daniel and this way everyone could have a happy ending. Right? What do you think? Could it work? If you need a governess for your child, .. you know I love kids and have much experience. :) I would love Jonathon as if he is my own. I already love your baby Michael. I hope you don't mind me sharing my thoughts and I hope they help you and not stress you, as that is the last thing I want. I'm just trying to tell you that I think there is a way you can have the best of both worlds and Liz will go along with it knowing it will make you fulfilled and happy. I realize as well that she still has a husband & marriage to deal with but I see it all falling away eventually and I think it will be sooner than later because she wants you raising her baby, not him. Does he know she plans to come back without him? He surely knows this trip spells the end of their marriage & he surely knows she really wants to be with you. He is a complete fool if he cannot sense that off of her. She wants the child born here doesn't she? So she will not be going back but staying here, & giving the child your last name, right?
I am happy that you and Tony are back to talking. Tell me...be honest...what did you end up telling him about me to alleviate his concerns? I don't really care so no need to sugar-coat. I think knowing that I live with a dude and have a pregnant gf whom I love would be enough to ease any man's mind. Did you tell him we would s top talking? It's okay f you did...I get it...I may do the same thing to salvage a relationship with potential.
Liz sent me a dirty e-mail this morning! I told her "pregnant ladies should not speak of such things. Naughty.naughty, naughty!" Ha ha--she is my kind of gal!
When I check the entertainment sites...like Rickey's front page blog...it takes a few seconds and I generally write a very quick comment. It is a form of 'de-stressing' for me. Commenting to people (like you) takes a longer, so I need to make sure I have adequate time. Bro wanted to come home with us, but my mother wants my sister to spend some time with Daniel (she lives near my mother's CA home) and she offered to fly back with him as she wants to take him to NAntucket for a couple of days. I was worried as I know Daniel can be a handful...but my mother said "I took care of him for over 30 years...another few weeks will be just fine." My mother has a few of my love interests, but not most. She met Liz years ago, she met my gf Jackie in grad school days and another gf Catherine of a few years back. She never met Bea in person...and of course she has met J. As expected, bro told her about Megan. She looked displeased, which surprised me as I thought she'd be happy I was spending time with a woman. Didn't comment. When J and I arrived at her house, she said "well boys...there are two bedrooms down the hallway to the left, make yourselves comfortable...Daniel will stay upstairs. LOL--I can't believe she really thought we'd sleep separately...I am almost 40 years old. If J were female, she would not have batted an eye. So we settled into the larger of the two rooms with the king. When Daniel was complaining at dinner that he wanted to sleep on the first floor...my mother told him that those rooms were "being taken by Jeffery and Michael." Jeffery, in his blissful ignorance then responded..."Dan, you can sleep in the room next to us if you like!" Ha ha...the look on my mother's face was priceless. I just smiled at her...she can't stay mad at me. J and I were tired from stress and traveling, and having my mother so close by kills the sex urge in me...so we went without the first night. But bro was stirring about...again hoping to catch a glimpse. So I yelled out into the hallway "Dan, we aren't having sex, you can go back to bed." Then I heard his loud footsteps run away ...LOL! I told my mother the next morning...she again had the disapproved look on her face. She said "well maybe you two should not be so active with Daniel under the roof." I told her that was ridiculous and asked her if she would comment the same way if J were female. She did not answer. The fact that J stayed at her house for Dan's sake...and flew out with us she should appreciate. I told her that he is used to staying in very high end swanky hotel suites. She only said "well, yes, I feel like I am entertaining a celebrity. But Michael I think he will do anything to be close to you, even stay at your mother's house to make Daniel happy, for your sake only." Then she asked me what was to happen with J after the baby is born. I told her I had no expectations...I don't know and I don't even know where Liz will be. She told me it was "high time" I found out. I told her that it was confusing and stressful and I did not feel like focusing on that now. She said "maybe you should have thought about all of this before you pulled your winky out." LOL!
Liz's husband is no abusive. He is kind to her when he is around...he just ignores her for the most part. Not because of how he feels about her...but he is an emotionally distant man.The antithesis of me. He is wrapped up in his work, men of his caliber have little time for home life. I think he may be doing the best he can. She told me he has tried very hard to deal with this baby not being his..but she feels lately it is affecting him. I believe he loves her and am only worried that he may snap or may begin to resent her. She wants him to be happy about the baby...but how can he be that happy knowing that his wife is giving birth to another man's child...when she was unable to sustain his? She tells me he keeps asking if she is 100% sure there is no possibility it is his. It makes her very uncomfortable.
My apologies Michael. I had noticed that you left comments on Rickey's news headlines so that gave me the idea that I was in the dog house for some reason when I didn't hear from you. I'm just very happy that I didn't blow it again already! :) All is good with Tony and he is back to calling me multiple times a day so all is well. He had to block a girl from Clovis, NM who was pissed off at him for not answering her emails to him and she can see as I can all the gift icons that ladies are always giving him. He wrote back and told her that the last time he checked, it was his choice, decision, and freedom to choose whom he wished to talk to and when. So now when she goes to write him back she will discover she can't since he blocked her. Women get jealous and pissed off at him all the time because he only checks the date site once or twice a week for his emails and he gets so many that most of them get ignored. He told me a couple of days ago that he should just delete the site. Sounds good to me! I told him that I know I am number one so I am happy and secure with that knowledge. I am the only one he talks to on the phone or that he got together with. He asked me the other day if I would come there to see him if he was " laid out ". My God. That tore me apart. I told him that of course I would but that I didn't want to hear him talking that way. He has already paid for and made his funeral plans to ensure he gets a decent funeral and resting place. His ex is so greedy and kind of controls his two daughters so he feared they would not give him a decent ceremony and burial. So sad that he has to feel that way.
Will your mother accompany Daniel back to Manhattan? As much as he loves you and J, .. I would expect him to suddenly decide he is coming back with the two of you. Be prepared! When was the last time you took someone home to your mother? I am laughing a wee bit because I am sure your mother didn't expect it to be a man! haha Well, .. I have no doubt that Jeffery will soon win her over, just give it time if it hasn't happened already.
Has Liz's husband ever been physically abusive to her before? I will be shocked if you say yes because I had the impression he is very kind to her. What is she afraid of exactly that she is too fearful to even stay in her own house or condo? Is it possible that she may be over dramatizing and exaggerating the situation just a bit to make sure you invite her home this time? You told her not to come before so she may have felt she needed to say all of this to ensure you would say yes this time. It sure seems to me she is more than ready to leave her hubby now and start her life with you. I think Megan coming back into the picture worried her and that would be only natural so I feel it is likely that is why she is calling so much and wanting to get back to you now. The baby coming soon is also a big part of it and you will be the one she wants in the delivery room, not her husband. I feel certain of this. I am so proud of you, the way you are handling all of this Michael. You have your priorities straight. This baby of yours should be number one from here out and you are going to fall so in love with him, .. you have no idea. This woman that is the love of your life is coming back to you and wants to be your wife. I know she does, .. so you can have your dream come true if you still want it Michael. You are right, .. one day at a time and it will all unfold as it is meant to be. I'm very happy for you. Better start helping her pick out baby names! I still think Jonathon sounds nice. :)
Cruel? What is so cruel? I am not angry at you...just very busy. Have a lot of responsibility right now. Bro has been giving me a hard time so with my minor health concerns..my mother decided to come to NY and take him to Nantucket for a bit while she and bro visited my aunt. However...Hurricane Irene impeded that plan. Nantucket flights and ferries were cancelled and a good portion of the island evacuated. NY was also partially evacuated with the public transit system shut down completely. Soooo..bro decided he was too scared and anxious to stay in NY (so was my mother)..they decided to fly to the West Coast to my mother's. Only....bro was scared that if I stayed in NY I would die...he also feared J would die in the hurricane, LOL! J could not travel to DC given the flight restrictions and dire forecast. I knew that bro would be tough on the plane for my mom...so I offered to fly to CA (which was a relief to bro) ...and then J also said he'd come along. The 4 of us flew to my mom's outside of SF. We all stayed at my mom's house on Daniel's insistence. Not sure how excited my mother was about J and I sharing a room...but she didn't say anything. J and I are flying back tomorrow...bro in another few days.
It has been very stressful with many things happening. Have not seen Megan in a few days, she is fine...does not pressure me. I think I am going to cool things down with her as Liz is getting closer to having the baby...J is to be home full time and I don't feel right about stringing Megan along. She is understanding. She will not give me a hard time...I told her this was coming one day. Don't assume that the 'Megan' Frank found is the real Megan. That's all I am saying.
Have been hearing a lot form Liz. A lot. I need to begin to focus on her and the baby now. She has been calling and e-mailing me for weeks now...2-3 times daily. She is afraid as her husband, though well-meaning, has been acting odd. She said while he knows the baby is mine and she assured him early on that there was no possibility it was his...he is now asking her if she is sure it's not his and whether it is possible it might be his baby.Sshe now gets that this bothers him more than he let on. Now that the baby's birth is nearing he is beginning to get anxious and apprehensive about it. She relayed that he has not told his family (his children) about the impending pregnancy -- that it is not his biological child. I don't know. She is scared and uncomfortable staying with him and giving birth in Amstrd and inferring this child as his. She was crying quite a bit, sobbing on the phone and telling me she loved me. I told her that if she feels his behavior is off and she feels scared, even a bit, she needs to leave there and come home to NY. She said that she didn't feel good about that knowing that I have J and Megan. I told her that when I realized this baby was probably going to 'happen'...I made the promise to myself that he would now be my priority in life and he would be my focus. I want him healthy and protected. She paused and said "I knew you would say that, Michael" and then said "well, what about me?" And I told her that I loved her immensely and I am here to protect her and make sure she is safe and to love her...I told her to come home and the rest would all fall into place. She sounded relieved. I expect she will be home by next week. I will probably rent her a place nearby as she is afraid to stay in her sprawling house and does not want to stay in hubby's NYC condo. Bro cannot have her stay here so soon...and I am not going to kick J out after he has been so devoted. He knows everything and is taking it in stride. I am taking one day at a time and will see what happens. I need to prioritize this baby and Liz now. I can't hurt her again.
So that is what's going on with me...and I need surgery on the hernia in Sept.
Before anything else...First tell me how things are with Tony. Hope you made up.
Off to bed!!
C'mon Michael. Why are you angry with me again? Talk to me .... You're being cruel for no good reason when I have been nothing but kind and loving to you. What's wrong?
Uh oh, .. what did I say or do now? :(
Hi babe, .. I think I got a little over sentimental about you in my last post. Sorry. I was curious if you felt that earthquake the other day? Better put on your high water pants. That hurricane is suppose to come barreling right through Central Park! By the way, you can still fill in the details I left out of us making love if you want! ;) Hope you're having a fantastic day. When does Jeffery get home for good? Who were your visitors?
I fell asleep for something like three hours and only awoke because Vanessa called me. I got myself all out of whack by staying up till 4:30am night before last and now I'm all screwed up with my sleep pattern. I usually awake every morning around 6am or 7am at the latest, and this morning I awakened at 10:30am. Good grief. I like getting up early as I really enjoy the morning hours. I hope I can get myself back into proper rhythm. Speaking of rhythm, ... I'd like to experience your rhythm. :) I fantasize about you all the time. Did you know that? I always try to imagine what it will be like if we ever get to see each other for the first time, and I would guess it would be at an airport. I have often wondered if I might even get slightly emotional seeing you for the first time. We have put each other through so much Michael, but at the core of my being lies immense love for you and a longing to know you in person and so much more. To be intimate for sure and the thought of that drives me to not let you go. I am so connected to you now and care about you so much and it is a bit hard to explain but there is a tension, a passion and a feeling like I ..... well, I really want to experience you and give you all this love in me that has grown for you. Otherwise, what can I do with it? It is like a crop of love that has grown over these years from knowing you and it is just waiting to be harvested. haha I've got to stop thinking about farming! It is affecting how I am expressing myself to you. I felt some warmth coming from your words again and I am so starved for that. I love the thought of making love with you and how it might make me feel is kind of overwhelming me at the moment, and frankly scaring me just a bit. It might be too much to handle emotionally speaking. My damn stubborn heart feels what it feels and I can never control it, no matter how much reality is smacking me in the face. As you once said, 'the heart wants what the heart wants'. And it wants you in my life.
Yes, I did leave out a lot didn't I! Only because I was about to fall asleep from fatigue. Would you care to fill in what I left out? :) I know my last thought before I drifted off in bed was about you holding me so I wouldn't be scared with the lightning still flashing outside and that damn giant man in the clouds deciding to play a game of bowling at 1 am in the morning! haha :)
Hi Michael, .. I was incredibly tired last night and after re-reading today what I wrote to you, I can see that I was not very focused and rambled a bit, .. sorry about that. I was just writing down the thoughts in my head as they came to me. A bit scattered for sure. That storm last night was intense and was also making me lose focus. Lightning scares me really bad. Growing up in a house that sat on the only high ground around made us a target. My dad put lightning rods on our house which probably only attracted the lightning to strike us which it did quite often. One time the lightning came through the house wiring and I will never forget sparks flying clear across the living room shooting ten feet out, and at the same time sparks shot out from the kitchen wall telephone and flames started shooting up the wall. Our house was now on fire! Mom quickly grabbed a kitchen towel, wet it under the kitchen faucet and threw the towel up against the wall to stop the flames from climbing further up. She got the fire out thank God. If we hadn't been home, our home would have burnt down for sure. I must have been around five yrs of age at that time give or take. I also remember looking out our living room window and seeing a big bolt of lightning strike the telephone pole along the road which was probably no more than a couple hundred feet if that from our house and it blew up the transformer box on the pole. I remember another time when mom had taken food out to the wheat field where my dad and uncle and brother were in the process of harvesting our wheat crop so they could eat a quick lunch and then get back to work. A lightning storm moved in and we are out in this very flat terrain and lightning is popping all around us. I was terrified! The only vehicles were the combine, two trucks and our car so everyone sat it out in the car or trucks till it passed. The worst storm I remember was driven by at least a 30 or 40 mph windstorm with baseball size hail pelting our farm, house and nearby wheat crop. Windows were breaking and the sound of that and the loud thundering sound of it pounding the roof had me screaming at the top of my lungs and crawling into the tight little crawlspace behind the washer and dryer and the wall. I really thought we were all going to die. So, as you can see, I am petrified of lightning and bad storms. I started vigilantly watching the clouds forming in the sky after that and would start crying if they looked dark and ominous before a storm even started. My Aunt Ginny saw my terror and tried to pacify me by telling me that the thunder was just a giant man living up in the clouds and he was bowling! haha I think I even believed it! Still believed in Santa Claus then too. To cope with my immense fear of bad storms, my imagination as a child took over to help me as well. I had a magic ring! If I put it on and told it to keep the bad storms away and to protect me, I would be alright. I really believed the magic would work and it seemed to. Do you know why nature makes lightning? I mean besides the negative and positive charges that create it? There is a good purpose behind it and I am testing your knowledge Mr. Scientist and having some fun with you. I did a science project on lightning and found out many fascinating things about it. It still scares the crap out of me though. I just spent nearly an entire keystroke allowance talking about storms and my fear of them. Kind of ironic that I chose QuietStorm as my internet name now that I think about it, and now just Storm 'cause it's easier.
I have more I want to say but might as well start a new post since I've used up most of this allowance for words. I am so relieved and happy your lump isn't testicular cancer, .. you have no idea. I was worried about you babe. Thanks for sharing the news with me. When is surgery scheduled? I hope you get loopy on drugs and call me again. :) Haven't eaten anything, back shortly ...
Meant to write in the last paragraph "you left out so very many things..."
And you did!
Hi. Thanks for your honesty. I liked your message...you sound real and authentic again. I did not want you to be the person who would say such awful things about a beautiful and kind person like Megan. Don't do that. Looks are not that important to me and I do not correlate perfection in looks to love and passion. You need not worry...I am not in love with her and she knows. Yes we make love often and it is passionate and fulfilling...this does not mean I am going to marry her...okay?
I have another inguinal hernia that is a loop of bowel and is presenting in the testicle. Not painful...but needs to be corrected as it can interfere with functioning. This is all due to an anatomical abnormality at birth. The think the first two surgeries on my other hernia caused this one. Ugh! They thought I had testicular cancer as there is also a cyst attached...but it is a hydrocele (water-filled cyst) caused by possible blood blockage in the spermatic cord. Not serious...just needs immediate attention. The surgery can cause nerve damage...which would suck...but it would not be severe...just temporary numbness. J said he can tell my ball looks swollen. LOL! HE would notice! My surgeon said it is fine to have sex as usual....I asked him if my partner need be gentle with my testicles...he looked at me and said "well...could you elaborate...I mean...what do you mean by gentle...we don't want the cyst or the hernia to worsen or rupture under too much pressure." Not sure what he was thinking. Told him manual manipulation and oral stimulation...he said "ummm...well, that should be fine." LOL! Think I made him blush..he's just jealous....
Mmmmm...loved the description of what you want me to do with you. It made me hard and now I will have to relieve myself in that fun way. you left our so very any things though. I would do much more than that...give me a little credit here!
I'm scared, wish you were here for real. The thunder is so loud and the lightning flashes are so bright. My pups are scared too and under my desk.
~~ continued ~~ Sorry, it is 12:30am and I am getting very sidetracked from where I want to be, which is talking about you and me. I am not very mentally sharp right now as I have not had much sleep so please forgive my getting off subject. I was trying to explain the difference between you and him. I have wanted to be with you for so long, that you have become like an enigma to me. Like the ultimate lover that I want to experience and like the best enticing chapter in a book that one wants to read over and over and dwell upon. Am I making sense to you? I hope so ... You ask what would I want if I could have anything with you. I would want your heart and your love. I really am not a selfish person swear to God. But sometimes it is hard to hear you express your love for other ladies. Not your fault or problem but mine. I am happy for you honestly, but sad and hurting just a bit inside for me. Stupid me, my fault for sure and that makes me feel further sad. What the hell is wrong with me? I want you to be my happy ending and yet I won't take the chance because I'm scared. Things you have said scare me, such as the fact that you don't really want commitments or a long term relationship with anyone. Part of me likes that because I like my freedom very much, but part of me wants to hear you call me, 'your girl.' I'm crazy and mixed up, huh.
When you talk about what you would do to me, it brings my longing for you to a climax. I am in love with you Michael and I love that feeling. We have a passion for each other and it either gets expressed in loving feelings or in anger. I prefer the loving expressions myself. LOL I want you so fucking bad I can hardly stand it. I am a perfectionist big time and I wanted the timing for you and me to be 'perfect'. Kept waiting for that to come around and kept blowing it. Fuck myself to hell. haha Stupid me. I'm so sorry baby ....
Mmmmmmmmmmm, .. what would I want you to do to me. Start by locking the door and never letting me go. Do away with time because I want to enter that realm with you where time no longer exists, .. in its place that feeling of forever and eternity. Where you want that moment of bliss and perfection to last forever that you share with your kindred spirit, .. your lover. It has been raining, lightning and thundering all night with a lightning cell right over my house. At one point when lightning struck very close by, my lights and electricity went off. I wish I could have grabbed onto you and felt your arm go around me at that moment. I wish you then would have kissed me deeply so I could taste and feel the warmth of your mouth on mine. I would have wanted your mouth to then kiss me over and over on my neck and to lick me and nibble on my ear lobe and to feel your hot breath in my ear. I would want to feel your right hand on me, lightly touching and teasing me as you bring your fingers up my leg and turn them to my inner thigh. My hand would be rubbing your chest and stomach and aching to go lower. You climb on top of me and pin both my hands above my head in your left hand and kiss me passionately while your fingers slide onto my pussy and you feel how wet you have made me as you stimulate my clit which is begging you to suck on her. I open my legs wide and push you down on me and you lick and suck on me till I climax so hard that I moan and pull you up and start begging you to enter me and fuck me as deeply as you can while I stare into your eyes. You lean down and kiss me tenderly and deeply and bite and suck on my lips. Don't stop because this is the eternal moment when I want this feeling to last forever. No holding back now as we climax together and melt into each others arm's clasping our hands together entwined. I whisper in your ear that I love you ... and then I hold you tight and we drift off to sleep. Michael, the lightning is on top of me again right now and the electricity almost went off again. I'm scared, wi
Hi Hot Stuff, .. Let me tell you first about this day with this guy from Oklahoma and then I will talk about 'us', .. okay? The time with Parker went well, and he was a gentleman the whole time. He paid for my meal and we stayed at the restaurant a good 3 hours. I think he was able to put the meal on a company credit card so I'm glad for that as I don't think it will come out of his pocket. He is pleasant to look at and has nice blue eyes. He looks different somewhat than in his photo for some reason. The only thing a little odd that I noticed is that he has a thickness across the back of his shoulders that makes him appear somewhat humpback. It isn't severe but enough that it is noticeable and a bit odd. I have no idea why or what is going on back there. Again, not enough that people turn and stare but as I was walking side by side with him, I noticed it right away and just thought " What the fuck is that ! " He is nice but I feel no spark with him, and I could tell he really liked me and he told me I was very attractive and a beautiful woman and that I had pretty eyes. It got uncomfortable a couple of times as I could tell he was contemplating making a move on me to kiss me or something. We left the restaurant and took about an eight mile drive out to my canyon where I always go to hike and that is where it got a bit awkward because it was so quiet and peaceful and we were alone. I felt him contemplating and wanting to kiss me so I kept trying to make small talk and keep at least three foot between us and then I suggested we should go because it was six o'clock pm and that I thought they would be coming to close the area for the day. Then when I dropped him back at the restaurant in front of his truck, he kept hesitating getting out and making small talk and again that rather uncomfortable feeling came back where he was thinking about kissing me. He finally asked if he could have a hug so I gave him that and then I kept talking so he couldn't kiss me. haha Finally he got out. I don't regret meeting him but I now know there is no spark with him. Too bad ....
Michael, .. I felt very comfortable when Tony told me he was coming to see me because we had spent many many hours talking over the phone and had developed a familiarity and comfortableness with each other. In the beginning when he talked about sex so much, I was very sheepish and shy and he knew it. I think he liked that for some reason and he just had a way of making me blush but yet it was getting me very turned on and making me want him and he wanted me. Thus it lead to us professing love and a strong desire to be together. He has a certain charm and charisma about him. I did not invite him to come, .. he just told me he was coming and kind of second hand asked me if that was okay. To be honest, I had mild hesitant feelings as I have had with you because I had never done this before, .. meeting someone from off the internet. And I knew with him that sex would be part of the plan if he came. Well that was a bit scary too because what if the chemistry wasn't there in person? That is also why I wanted him to stay in a hotel for at least the first couple of days so I wouldn't feel so trapped. There were a couple of things he did very right. He called me a number of times on his way here telling me what he was going to do to me which built the anticipation and would tell me that he could already smell and taste me. It kind of scared me yet I couldn't wait to see him. I was waiting where I thought he would arrive and then my cell phone went off. I answered and he said, " Where are you? " I said, " I am here waiting for you. " Just then he came around the corner and gave me the biggest smile. He quickly walked over, leaned over me and kissed me very passionately and for a VERY long time. I was so dizzy and light headed when I stood up. He grabbed my hand and we walked the short distance to my car. I'm out of strokes ...
I am the one who should be asking for kindness from you. You are no longer in the position to call the shots after your recent shameful displays. You seem to be giving it to everyone but me. You get os jealous when I am with anyone else that you 'say' these very mean things trying to sway me to think differently or you say things to hurt me...to injure me...and who knows, maybe you don't even realize it. Whether this Megan or not is irrelevant...you said something cruel about the picture to hurt me...it was mean. She is far form ugly...and unless you are profoundly more beautiful and youthful looking...show some class and shut-up. But...you don't do it to Tony ( because he isn't seeing other people actively). I think you want more than you are saying , or else...why stick around so long, why want to stay connected with me for so long, why get SO pissed off at me, so upset and hateful when I am with other women? If you can't tell the truth I am gone,darling. You are wasting my time. I have a lot of people who need and depend on me...so fess up now. I am still angry at you for a few other reasons...but I get too tired of bringing stuff up to you and then you get all defensive and annoying. You are not with me now because YOU fucked up, you horribly miscalculated and you judged me wrongly. You didn't go with your heart or with your gut.... Believe that.
I am a bit offended that you allowed Tony to come out and see you...and now you are discussing having this new Jersey boy form Verona come out to see you...and this
oklahoma dude. Why? Why not me? You have no idea if these dudes are with anyone else...I happen to be more honest than the average guy. Well...it is a cruel game you are playing with me and I don't think I can play anymore. I am becoming frustrated.
I don't like being teased or led on...by you or anyone. I will withhold all personal information from you until you can tell me exactly what you want from me If you had your choice of anything...what is your wish? What would you hope for now if you could have anything? How do you feel about me? what the hell keeps you coming back here after never meeting me? Answer these simple questions. Things just have never happened with us and I always attributed it to you for being selfish and thinking of only your immediate needs and your unfounded fears...but maybe it was just not meant to be. Maybe every time I called you (with the exception of 2 or 3 times I chicked-out an hung up..), and the phone kept ringing or the answer machine kicked in..or I was disconnected...it was fate...LOL! Maybe it is all for the best.
Tell me what you want from me...really want. Fuck the future and what "might be" then. Youa re losing me fast. What do you want now? Tell me what you want me to do to you sexually...be specific please. I want to hear something good. I deserve it...what do you want me to do to you? I know you want me to make love to you and I know you would love it. It would sure cure your bitchy attitude...
Me health is fine....
~continued~ I would like to stress again most importantly, ... I don't want to shut the door on possibilities with you, .. and what you are thinking is exactly what I mean. :)
How are you doing? Please tell me. Are you having that surgery soon? Is that why you have company staying with you? Are they family, or your friends? I would really like to know the outcome of the surgery so I know you are okay. I really do care, Michael.
I should not have said what I did about her, this is true. I apologized and I hope you will forgive me, .. okay? What really matters is whether a person is truly beautiful on the inside anyway, and she is showing you kindness and comfort so she is okay with me as long as she doesn't go desperate and aggressive on you. I just don't like seeing that behavior coming out of any woman as I find it pathetic.
Tony called me today and we are talking again so everything will be okay. I am quite worried about him. He went to the hospital because he was retaining water badly yet the doctor told him he was dehydrated so they gave him an IV of saline. He may have had an allergic reaction to some fish he ate, but the cause is undetermined. They will do some extensive blood tests on him this weekend, and run a tube up him to check on the bleeding. He just says that he feels terrible and tired. I wish I could help him and heal him.
Besides my new guy from Verona, NJ, .. I was on the phone tonight with another guy from Oklahoma who happens to be working north of Santa Fe at a casino. He works for a company that builds, sells, and maintains gaming machines for casinos and the like. What was a bit coincidental is that I had just spotted his picture and profile yesterday and wrote him first, never guessing he would be so nearby. He wrote back mentioning he was here in NM. After talking with him tonight for a couple of hours on the phone, we have agreed to meet up at my favorite restaurant in Bernalillo sometime tomorrow afternoon. He has a small job to complete in the morning and when he is near done, he will call so we can better tell the timing as to when he can get here. I told him straight out that sex will not be on the menu. He has a particular fetish he is into and I have never heard of it before. We did not discuss it or even come anywhere near discussing sex, but he mentioned it on his profile. He calls it ANR. I had to ask what that stood for, and when he told me, I still had no clue so I Googled it. I was a bit shocked and read up on it. Oh Lord. I am keeping an open mind and not judging until I have a chance to talk with him about it, but I am not sure I want to discuss it this time around as I just know I am going to blush up a storm talking about it. I don't know him well enough yet though he seems nice and looks handsome in his picture. He is 34 yrs old and has never been married and has no kids. He prefers older women because they are more mature and interesting to talk to than younger women. That is what he told me. Do you know anything about this fetish he speaks of?
Okay .... You want to know what I want from you. I would like something very simple, ... kindness. I would like to get on your right side again so you don't belittle and put me down all the time. I don't know if you are aware how often you do that. In your last post you did it again. You will tell me I deserved it I know. Michael, .. I am trying very hard to not upset you anymore and to stay nothing less than positive & encouraging from here out. I don't want to give you advice unless I know for sure it is happy and positive advice, and even then I will try to listen more and say less as I am likely to stay out of trouble with you longer if I do it that way. I really do want only good things for you, and sometimes in the past I have voiced worries that I wanted to warn you about. It was a mistake. I can't be doing that anymore. I must have faith in you that you have thought about the things I see or fear coming, and I will no longer talk about those things because it is upsetting to you. In its place, I will say a prayer asking that all will turn out right for you the way it is intended to be, & I will be here for you if you need me. What else do I want from you? I simply want you in my life because I love & value you, and I don't want to shut the door on possibilities. I don't want to shut the door on you. ~~~
Ha ha...Ummm...No, I am not angry at all about what you said about Megan...it was childish and catty and very immature. And as I said...good looking people are secure and do not call others 'ugly'...so your statement spoke volumes. I know what you said was based on pure jealousy. Meaningless. If you had said "well...she's cute, but not my type.." that would be one thing...and even then..no one asked for your opinion on her pretty face....and I never went on and on and distorting the level of her good looks as you did with Tony. Right? She is hot and I enjoy fucking her...very much. I don't care about your opinion blinded by envy. I never care about anyone else's opinion when I decide I like someone or think they are deserving of my affection. If I think someone is good looking or hot...that is all that matters. I guess I'm not that insecure to be swayed by other's tainted unsolicited opinions. Do people really care about other's opinions on their gfs or bfs looks? I don't think so...I know I never did. yes her former semi-flame is an ass...i agree. He is not that good looking...I agree. He is popular and sought after based on his huge celebrity. Does not impress me. I can't answer the other stuff now...too busy with many ppl visiting etc. What you said about Megan was not nice, cruel...why are you like that? I don't like ppl who cut other's down to build themselves up...not cool. It does not hurt me...just makes me think a lot less of you. Understand now? I know it is because you are jealous and because you want me to be with you...but baby...that's your own God damn fault...stop punishing me.
A question..simple answer required...What do you want from me? Really...no bs answer like "friendship" please. What do you want form me? Because I can't see any reason for you to keep this going. The truth wills et you free....
WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT FROM ME??
WHAT/THE/FUCK/DO/YOU /WANT/FROM/ME/BABY?!!??!!!!
Now what did I do or not do? I re-read my last posts to you which were full of heartfelt apologies, so I don't know what else I can do Michael. You will never take the target off my back no matter what I say or do, huh! You are angry that I didn't tell you that Megan is the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world and the most beautiful ever born in the entire universe ever ever ever! Well sorry, .. but I did offer a sincere apology for what I did say and I agree with you that she now seems like a very sweet girl and I am glad she is there to offer you praise and comfort. Even if I was the most beautiful girl on the entire planet ( which I'm not ) , you already have your mind made up that she will be more beautiful than I am. Your attitude is very obvious and transparent babe, and it is fine with me that you feel that way. Dote on her and feel proud of her because she deserves that. It's too bad that every man doesn't treat his woman that way, .. it would be a happier world and the divorce rate would fall to zero. The very conceited A-R Ass that she dated deserved to be dumped and I applaud her for doing that. He isn't that great looking in my opinion and his ego precedes himself, .. so good for her. You won't believe me but I also had my share of celebs that hit on me. The only one I wish I could have gotten together with was Michael Martin Murphy, as there was an undeniable hot attraction and chemistry that hit both of us when we first laid eyes on each other. Absolutely undeniable. Our eyes locked onto each other and didn't leave for an extraordinary amount of time, and the burning rush going through me was so penetrating and wonderful. It was only when I could feel another penetrating gaze coming at me that I broke eye contact with him and looked at the tall woman standing to his right, .. his new fiance! Crikey. She was just staring at me and I looked from her back at him and then it was kind of like he snapped back into reality and gave me one more longing look and then looked away. If only ........................ * sigh *
Tony left me a very nice message last night and he seems to be softening, so maybe there is hope. I want him back in my life. Also, this new guy from Verona, NJ called me last night for the first time and we ended up talking until the wee hour of 2:45am. We talked for over six hours straight. He told me he was fearful I would never call so he decided to make the first move and I'm glad he did. I'm just not in the habit of calling a guy first, plus I didn't know his schedule and feared my timing might be bad. He is a delight and we hit it off very well with each other and share many likes and interests in common, even down to us both drinking Lipton lemon green tea at that moment. He is 49 yrs old, no kids, and was married for twenty yrs., has been divorced for 3 yrs. His parents are evidently wealthy and also have a home in Spain. So far so good with him, and we even got as far as discussing a possible visit with him coming out to see me in October, hopefully around hot air balloon fiesta time if things continue to go well between us. I suggested that timing and he told me he wouldn't be coming to see balloons, but would be coming to see me. I thought that was sweet.
Michael, .. I am offering you a sincere friendship from someone who cares & loves you and wants what is best for you. I have stuck by you through thick & thin and didn't give up on you when you had given up on me. That should tell you who your true friends really are, .. who REALLY cares and loves you, .. and I am one of them. If that means nothing to you, then go ahead and walk away. It was my hope we could enjoy each other once again, lighten up, support each other, laugh, and feel affection and love between us once again as friends. In any case, thank you for your input on Tony's health. He is complaining now of his feet badly swelling, .. poor guy. I wish you well. Love always, .. Barb
The other actress has a hispanic surname (but does not look spanish)..He also was rumored to be dating a Pop icon at one time. Okay, Sherlock....your work is cut our for you. Megan told me that when they dated...he had a wandering eye and was very flirtatious...always looking to meet women. She said it was fine...only he didn't want her to date anyone else..claiming "that's how it always is with me." LOL! Megan said after 2 months she said forget it. I found photos on line of her with him..at one of his games and then at a pro basketball game with him. As Is aid..it doesn't impress me as I couldn't care less about over-paid athletes and celebs...it's just funny that this rich athlete who seems to do so well with the ladies...thought Megan was cute enough to spend tie with. Hmmmmm...Anyway... she said he was fun, attentive and very generous. I assume they had sex...but didn't ask about it. Anyway...this guy is big in NY...but you may have never heard of him.
BTW...I don't like your last reply to me, so I decided I am staying away :/
Forgive me for saying, but the GI bleeding does not sound good and he needs to alert his physician ASAP or go the the hospital emergency room. I don't necessarily know what this is indicative of, per se, but with leukemia it is somewhat more common to have anal fissures...and if that is what this is this would be a relatively benign condition. But, my fear is he may have a more advanced stage cancer...or worse, full-blown metastatic disease. The rectal bleeding could be directly related to his leukemia....does he have AML (acute monocytic leukemia)? I believe that with this type, patients can experience a condition called disseminated intravascular coagulation. Remember...my dad was a vascular surgeon so I remember many a vascular-related malady. It causes blood clots to form in the vessels and organs and can lead to organ failure if not treated...sorry. My feeling is that it is not likely he has this or he would be quite ill and probably hospitalized by now. The bleeding would mean he was experiencing organ failure and/or the depletion of platelets in his bloodstream. Then the rectal bleeding or even brain hemorrhaging can occur. Sorry...I am being honest by telling you what I know. He could have hemorrhoids....only that would be more obvious.
Look---ANYTHING I said about Tony came directly from you. Yes...I called him 'Tiny' and 'gnome'...that's not so bad. Iw as really joking...we know he is not a gnome or really 'tiny'. You were the one who spoke of and was bothered by his very small stature.I never said he was ugly or unattractive...he is not. I never insulted his looks...I only commented that you greatly exaggerated how attractive he was. I think that is obvious. Even if I thought he was ugly or unattractive..I would not come out and say that. That's just mean. He is not ugly nor is he unattractive...he is average to above average looks wise. That's not so bad. You called the Megan in this photo ugly by saying her chin was ugly and her eyes were on the side of her head, and something else insulting about her nose...how mean! And only because you assumed she was the one I am dating and you wanted to hurt me. Well...I don't respect your opinion (and that is the truth) as I feel it is tainted with jealousy and self-serving and dishonest. Still waiting to see your ravishingly beautiful Helen of Troy photo where you appear 30 years younger...I'd love to compare them side by side with this Megan's. LOL! You will be happy to know that I am not in love with Megan and am not in the process of falling in love with her...I like her VERY much and enjoy being with her. But I am not in love. Not that it is any of your business. You know I'd tell the truth. Yes...she has told me she loves me and she doesn't even care of I say it back. I told her how I felt and apologized that I could not reciprocate the sentiment. She smiled and said it was okay because it didn't change how she felt....then she hugged me. She is a good egg and has been very good to me. She is understanding. She sure gets around for an ugly girl...dated the most popular professional athlete in NYC for 2 months...and she was the one to break it off with him. I only found out because she had a world series event book in her apartment. She told me she went to the all of the world series games last time the Yankees where in it. This is unusual to get tix to all of the yankee's world series game. Thens she told me that she had dated a player for w while and even though they had parted ways before the world series...he gave her tickets to every game...great seats...so she went with her dad--a huge yankees fan. The player went to the world series games with a hollywood actress who he was then dating rather seriously....she has a famous actress mother and she just had a baby. He was also dating another actress ...blond (he obviously likes blondes) cannot think of any movies either of these actresses have been in. The other actress has a hispanic surname (but does not
Just saw your last two posts after I posted. Tony wasn't trying to put you or your family down, quite the opposite. He knows both your parents were doctors, and he was trying to say that he comes from humbler beginnings and is a train engineer compared to your being a computer scientist that came from a more affluent family than his. LOL No he doesn't drink at all. The beginning of his message I understand as well. Several times it has happened to me where I write out a message on that site, send it, and it just up and disappears and you can't retrieve it no matter what you do. Only safeguard is to highlight and click copy before sending in case it doesn't make it. Very frustrating and I don't know why it happens on occasion. He never would have come to see me if I had told him that you and I were back to talking again. He knew from the start I held affection for you, and I knew I risked losing him by telling him the truth that you and I were back to talking again. I told him in my two phone messages and in my notes on the date site that you and I have only talked online and have never met or even talked on the phone together. I also told him he isn't playing fair with me because he also talks to other women online, and he has not asked me for a commitment so fair is fair. I also assured him of my love for him, but he is still being a stubborn jackass about this. I sure hope you are wrong about his sickness. He has been losing a lot of blood from his anal cavity for some reason, and he told me a LOT! Bright red blood mostly. Does that mean anything to you that you can tell me about?
My gosh Michael, can you not see I am trying very hard to make amends with you? No one is likely reading here, let alone putting two and two together, let alone that would act on anything, that let alone would care. This poll is two years old, .. older than Crystal Clearly. Did you get this mad at Frank for doing it? It doesn't appear so from his reaction, so why am I the villain when I only tried to make you aware of what he was saying? Can you not see I was trying to have your back and protect you? I did not try on purpose to put her in danger, but instead give you warning of what he was doing so it wouldn't progress and get worse. My good intention has backfired on me again in your eyes, and the best I can do now is say I'm sorry, and I am. I really don't think you have anything to fear but nevertheless I apologize for bringing it over here. Had I known it would upset you like this, .. I certainly wouldn't have. My mistake, .. sorry.
Yes, I was saying all kinds of cruel things and I have apologized profusely Michael. You say she is someone's daughter, well Tony was someone's son and you went totally cruel on him too and I kept quiet about it. You called him a gnome, " Tiny " , and a whole lot worse and downed his looks. Where is the fairness here? You can down him and get very cruel without apology and that's okay? C'mon Michael, where is the fairness here? Megan has a smoking hot body and I said so. I apologize for my other comments about her that were unkind. She is a sweet girl and didn't deserve that. Am I jealous of her? Of course, she's with you ... You probably will think she is prettier than me because you are falling in love with her, I can tell. She must have already told you she loves you again, because you told me she loves you. If she is what you need in your life and you end up with her, then I can only be happy for you. Again, I'm sorry I downed her, .. she didn't deserve that.
If there is anything I am forgetting, let me know. Michael, ... I want peace with you and a new beginning. I will be a kinder and more thoughtful person, ... a much wiser person. Lord have mercy, .. I don't think I could possibly repeat the same mistakes after the grilling and lessons you have given me. I don't care to visit hell anymore, .. I'll be a good girl. :)
I am having a hard time following Tony's message...does he drink? Or is he just a poor communicator...or perhaps like me. he was rushed? What is meant by "my people"....and I think he insulted me. He is assuming we are fucking, I think. Why don't you tell him that I have a pregnant former married girlfriend and a live with my boyfriend...pretty sure that will abate any concerns about your sexual interest in me. I think he has a point...sorry to say. You sprang this out of nowhere. When you told him last time he got angry that we were not talking, you should have told him when we began speaking again. I am sorry but he feels deceived and I think he is right. But..eh is also looking for reassurance that we are not serious...or in love...or fucking. Again...I am having a hard time following his message.
Maybe if you want to save it with him...you need to offer to fly out and see him.
I have a strong feeling and from what I can surmise, he is very sick...sicker than you know. I feel badly for the dude. I really do.
Btw...I make up my own mind about the women and men I date. I don't care much for other's opinions on their physical appearance, their age or their personality. I like what I like. I never asked your opinion on Megan and it was not welcome. I don't need reassurance...by thinking you are going to hurt me by pretending she is ugly when I noticed her out of a crowd of hundreds...and she previously dated a very well known sports player in NY (you MAY have heard of him as he has dated some female celebs (does not impress me when someone dates the well-known, but I know will impress you... whether you care to admit it).
You used to tell me how your parents raised you with a healthy dose of manners...well, I bet they are turning in their graves now in disappointment. You lack good manners and behave more in affectation. Unless you can tell me you were hitting the booze or were so jealous you said unkind untrue things...this is it. I gave you a shot today...you have mostly failed.You only came back here because Tony gave you the (inevitable) boot.Well...that's too bad. I never told you or wanted you to tell him about me. What I did not like was your constant back patting about what an honest person you were when your behavior continually and consistently denies that.
What you said about the picture you believe to be Megan was cruel. You didn't say she wasn't pretty. You said she had eyes on the side of her face, an ugly chin and big nose.." or something like that. She is someone's daugther for christ's sake! How mean. makes me not like you very much. this was pure jealousy, nothing more. She is significantly younger than you, most likely (I believe..though I do not care..) she is prettier than you and is wealthier, professional and worst of all, she's getting fucked pretty good by me. So stop being such a nasty little bitch about it and either apologize for your disgusting and sophomoric words or I will never come back here and you can lose 2 guys, FOR GOOD, in one week. What a feat for you! I have already taken measures to get off of this site with J's help. I say the word to him, I will never be abel to access here again. You are becoming bitter and ugly and I don't like it.
You did betray me yet again. It old you very personal things on this poll about Megan's traumatic past. I told nobody else but you. And then you drag what you believe to be her first and last name over here knowing this is an invasion of her privacy! Good God! Months ago I ask you for some whore's name and you refuse to tell me (still the biggest reason I lost trust in you) but it's oaky for you to do this to someone I am with in 3-D. Someone I KNOW well? Someone who isn't making up stories...How selfish of you.
You have made no headway at all, lady. I'll read one last post...it better be good.No games...I mean it, this time I will be gone and you will never know what has become of me. You are pissing me off big time, baby.
I never claimed that you did not "like gay people." When we harbor a bias or a prejudice, it is not always conscious. You see...people will claim not to be racist, for example, and shutter the thought that they would actively discriminate against a person of color (and they likely would not do so intentionally...) and perhaps say "some of my best friends are black!" or "I grew up with blacks in my neighborhood for goodness sakes!" or "my own brother is married to a black girl!" , but they, at the same time, may clutch onto to their purse or quickly click on the door locks when a black man passes by. So...what I am saying to you is (and I hope my analogous logic is not too confounding to comprehend, or my sentiment get lost in all this...)...is that you may very well "love gay people" for the sake of loving them, but the subconscious bias can be displayed in other ways. Most bigoted people (and before you flip out...I DID NOT SAY YOU WERE A BIGOT) do not know they are. They will fully deny it and believe they hold no prejudicial views. It goes beyond saying my "panties" were "in a knot"...you said several things in many different ways...at lest 5 insults (at that time) questioning my 'malenes and lack of being "a real man" in one single post!! I am not saying you believed this..you were jsut trying to be mean. Btw..the idiom is not "panties in a knot" it is "knickers in a knot" or "boxers in a knot". Never heard the panties version being attributed to a male...men do not wear panties, hmmmm.... God Damn...I thought I explained this all to you last time! So...by the sex addict comment...which at fist I thought only a display of your lack of knowledge, since enjoying and partaking in sex does not make one a sex addict unless you are with the Christian right. But gay men in our society are often viewed as promiscuous, indiscriminately sexually active, unbridled, and licentious. I believe there was some underlying homophobia in your comment (combined with an unhealthy dose of jealousy)..and don't worry...even the open-minded liberals can be subconsciously homophobic too. Even Bea...who was very accepting and really loved my bisexuality..it turned her on. She was exceedingly open-mined..or so I thought..until she felt threatened and angered and her true subconscious overtook her...she called me a cock sucking faggot many times and would say lovely things like "I guess if I had a cock for you to suck that would make you feel real big..." or "you're nothing more than an ass fucking queer" etc. LOL! It was pathetic as it did not offend me and only made her look desperate and weak. But, I still loved her...despite her inability to cope, her jealousy and unwillingness to accept me for who I am. She was a more obvious case. But I digress. Then telling me "well, from what you said you don't fit the description of a sex addict"...well, duh. Like I ever thought I did...and it doesn't bother me that you even said it..men don't care. But, it was just stupid and was said in an effort to hurt me. Do you know the definition of addiction? When you say shit to insult people--whether it had the effect or not--you say after you realize your faux pas "I was angry, I know it's not true, I suck.." or some semblance of that.
And again...you do not get the point I was making about your obsession with my intelligence. I am not looking for some pat on the back from you...I know my academic credentials are impressive to the general population...big deal. It is the reason that you do this that I take offense to. It makess you look like a knuckle head no-brain. You try to insult my matriculations by saying Yalies are a dime a dozen. Why try to insult my accomplishments? Again..it makes you look ill-informed. When you say stupid shit...just admit whether you now believe you were wrong and it was a lie... or if you still feel it was justified, then say so....don't dance around it.
What you said about the picture you believe to be Megan was cr
Forgot to comment on your last post. You are absolutely right about how and why I comment as I do. Sometimes a tad bit of jealousy can surface and taint my opinions. I don't mean or intend for them to come out sounding negative, but can see that sometimes they take on that flavor and I apologize. I will watch that diligently and do my best to improve. I am sorry anytime I bring you down as that is not my intention. I can see fully what you are saying so I will be vigilant and try to never go negative and preachy on you like I have in the past.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, wouldn't you say? No two people are ever going to agree on what is beautiful and what is not all the time. Tony is drop dead handsome in my eyes and I still think that, as you think Megan is pretty. We have both said our opinions about these two attractive innocent people and they are just opinions babe. You will never hear me say another unkind thing about her looks, .. promise. She is sweet and kind and good for you and makes you happy, .. and that in turn makes me happy for you. Tony by the way, broke up with me because I tried to tell him about you and to come clean as you suggested I should. The minute I told him I had been talking to you, that was it. He hung up on me immediately and I don't think he is coming back. I tried calling him twice and left him two messages on the date site. He has not blocked me like before but he is quick to anger and doesn't forgive easily. Don't worry, I don't blame you. If he is this stubborn and so easily throws away what we felt and had with each other, then so be it. I'll move on, and in fact there is another guy I have talked to online in Verona, NJ that I'm interested in. His last name tells me he is Italian and he is very masculine looking with a bit of the Jesus look. I may call him this afternoon as we have already exchanged numbers and he asked me to call him. Strange how I keep finding my attraction leading me to east coast guys.
Here is the last I heard from Tony :
goldengi..
Just got done writing and sent it to you and never got there.......hopefully this one will........I do apologize for getting upset with you about this here.........I also am very disturbed with what you told me about what went on.........BARB when you told me what happened I was amazed........Love doesn't mean you put people you love in harm's way........I am sick and don't need anymore stress or drama than what I have now........This is the second time this has happened if I recall.........that means shame on me.......there will not be a third time cause I am not going to let this happen again and again.........I am sorry if I didn't show you enough time and you needed to go elsewhere to get the time........you call him a friend, you couldn't possibly compare my people to him........You know over and over what I do.........So I figured he can give you the more time you need cause he is giving it to you right now.........I will not be calling you anymore, if you like I will write you from time to time letting you know how I am doing and what's going on with me........I love you to death and many things more, but I am not going to be here knowing I am not getting the respect that I should be getting........Maybe if you were to come here perhaps we can meet up.........I wouldn't be afraid to meet you guys in person.......I do wish you well and the best in your endeavors and hopefully someday you will find someone suitable for your needs and wants........Love Tony
~continued~ Your academic achievements are astounding and impressive Michael, and there has never been a doubt in my mind that you are highly intelligent. I also wanted to tell you how impressive that was that your report on the Manson murders that you did in high school was so highly recognized for the meticulous work you did on that project and I am nothing less than very impressed and proud of you for everything that you have accomplished thus far in your life. I know there is more to come. I wish I knew more of the work you do, as I can only imagine you are looked upon as a great asset for your company. I'm sure Jeffery would consider you one of his greatest accomplishments if he could ever talk you into coming to work for him. No doubt he would double your salary to snag you too, and you would be worth every penny. I apologize for trying minimize your education or intelligence. I know you went to Yale and MIT, .. did you go to Princeton as well?
WHAT !!! Another gay jab ?? How do you possibly get that out of what I said about sex addicts? I am completely shocked at that one. You're bi and completely masculine in behavior and I'm at least somewhat bi and very feminine in behavior, and my son is bi and very masculine in all ways of behavior. Darling, I just don't get where you came up with that conclusion. I love and identify my own self with gay people, all comments I have EVER made on these boards support the fact I back and love gay people, so where do you get this notion that I am a bigot? Does this go all the way back to the " don't get your panties in a knot " comment? LOL C'mon Michael, I explained that in these parts and regions, it is a very common saying that is not in anyway associated with gay slurs or bashing. You took that way too seriously and it didn't even enter my mind nor did I intend that to humiliate you or infer that you are less than masculine. I will gladly take a lie detector test if you wish and you will see that I am not in the least biased against gay people. It offends me that you could even think such a thing would come from me. You said one time " he should grow some balls! ". Should I take that as a gay slur? Of course not, and neither should you take panties in a knot as a gay slur. They are both just familiar sayings. I hope this will finally lay to rest this notion that I don't like gay people, ... I am one of them in a sense! I have never thought of you as anything but very handsome, sexy, and VERY masculine. Okay? That's the truth Michael.
You don't fit the description of sex addict from what you just described, so no, .. you are not really a sex addict as you have full control over your behavior patterns. On days that Jamie is around here all day, I don't watch any porn or indulge in self pleasure and Tony was my only lover for a week in the entire past 5 years, so I doubt myself to be an addict either. You and I both really enjoy sex and I think that is healthy and is as it is meant to be. No, I don't hate you for being so sexual and the fact that you are is still very much appealing to me. Yes, it is hard for me to know you are with other women and sometimes it gets to me a little bit. It takes centering my mind on what is best for you to get me through some of this. I love you and want you happy, and I certainly have no right to expect anything other than your being with other females. It is just hard sometimes when I picture you being intimate with them and wishing it was me. I know, .. you don't have to say it, ... it's my own damn fault and it is indeed. I know Megan is good for you and she turned into a lady so I am fine with her now. It sickens me a lot when I see women acting slutty and desperate for you. It just seems like inappropriate tramp like behavior that is below you and so un-classy. Speaking of which and forgive me for bringing the sore subject of Ellery up, .. but PLEASE don't let her stay with you when she visits. I KNOW with no doubt it will be a HUGE mistake for you if you do, even if you tell her no sex, she will not relent, .. trust me. Give her an inch, .. she takes a mile from you. She says anything to get in the door with you and then changes the terms. She is not truthful with you and backpedals until she can push herself on you again. If she stays with you, .. you will have to peel her off of you constantly again, you surely know that and she knows you "go weak" so you will find her slipping into bed with you in the middle of the night and basically raping you. She obviously has friends she can stay with since she is there for a wedding, but you know as well as I do what she is REALLY there for. No way will she let Roger come, I guarantee it. She doesn't love him as she claims, the poor soul would get dumped in a heartbeat for you. She's using him and that's sad. Okay, .. I'll shut up now and do my best not to bring her up again. Sorry ...
And for the record..it's not a simple matter of you not voicing your opinions...it is HOW you voice your opinion and WHY you are doing so. It is most often negative and follows a pattern. A warning that I am doing something wrong...I am going to hurt someone...I need to make decisions fast or screw up everyone's life...I am not going to be able to go at this pace...YOU A RE SO NEGATIVE, but you always claim to be the opposite-- Damn it! And I know why...it is always the same reason whether you can see it or not...you don't want me to be with other people. Maybe your sensibilities tell you differently, but your emotions do not. You get jealous and it kills you that you could have been the one kissing me, fucking me. You don't want me fucking Megan, loving her, embracing her...you don't want me fucking Liz..or J (though you'd rather I fuck either of them over Megan, I know). You don't like the thought that my hands are on her body and my dick is inside of her...admit it. I can handle that...I can't handle the constant know-it-all bitching and hen-peckery though, which is born of the aforementioned jealousy despite what excuses you make for it and how you paint it; it is grating.
Lastly...What you said about Megan when you thought you saw her picture from Frank was nasty and diabolically atrocious. Your tainted opinion of her physical appearance carries no weight---you said it to hurt me. ...and it was said out of jealousy because I am with her. While your mean comments may have been said as your own twisted true opinion....was this necessary? Why utter something so cruel about someone you do not know? It is very superficial, immature and shallow. I never said Tony was ugly or had an ugly feature, or his eyes were on the side of his head or painted him a a physical freak.My comments re: him were based on what you told me..and on the exaggerated level of his good looks (let's face it...you exaggerated!!) Whether this is my Megan or not is irrelevant. It was meant to hurt...it did not. The sad part is that Megan has NEVER uttered a mean or negative thing about anyone...ever. I have never head her speak ill of anyone she knows or whom I know. Even when I complained to her about Liz and what she is doing or J...she is always positive and says kind things about them and sticks up for them! She never comments on how people look. You have a nerve and as I said...and if you are so beautiful...put your picture up here and let's judge. You have set the bar quite high for yourself!! I know the real Megan is quite pretty....maybe considered beautiful, much better looking than I am...and my opinion is the only one that matters to me. Get it?
Not all rich kids...far from it. I et the smartest people I have known there and at MIT...and even now at work...the smarter ppl with whom I interact tend to be Yale, Harv, Princeton, Stanford or MIT grads. The rest are from a variety of state or tier 2 schools...or lesser Ivies...and it is apparent. I got in Yale 2 years early with no parental legacy. My parents were educated in Europe and Asia so no string to pull. My parents did not donate any money to get me in...in fact, both Harvard and Yale entered into a mini bidding war to get me to accept. Took Yale because I wanted to be closer to NYC and my father thought the classics and foreign languages program was much better. LOL--never studied either there. So don't make false judgements to make yourself feel better for your relative lack of formal education. I don't care and there is no impetus nor a desire for me to compete with you intellectually. I think it would be a losing battle for you....Just a fact. Delivering false and unfounded opines that are based on your own prejudices and lack of direct knowledge only serves to make you look unintelligent. Smart people just don't do this.
Well...I don't care much about the sex addict comment...was that supposed to hurt me? LOL! Just proved you don't know me or you just don't appreciate what most people who are with me tend to enjoy about me--my uninhibited sexuality. I took that comment as another underhanded 'gay' jab. No biggie. Funny though...the only other person who ever said I w as a sex addict was your friend Sarah (according to Frank). Of course neither of you have ever been with me and only know about my sexual prowess second hand. Sarah is a bit clsoed-minded and backward, IMO, with regard to sex. She thinks everyone is perverted. LOL! Well..I do not watch porn every day as you do (though I do watch it) and I did not watch porn every day when I was not sexually active...like during a 'dry spell'. I do not have sex with everyone I meet or with everyone who is willing---not by a long shot. And I tend to hold off with most people I meet before engaging in sex...I rarely, if ever, have jumped in the sack with someone for the sake of having sex. Held off long with Megan...as an example and she was rather assertive, me thinks. You tell me you had sex w/ your old bf 8 times in one day. well...that beats my record by a long shot...hmmmmm. J's appetite meets or even exceeds mine, and he is quite mentally healthy. Bea generally wanted to fuck more than I could handle...So, perhaps the legend of my sexual appetite has been greatly exaggerated. Anyway..I don't proposition people for sex, I do not force myself on anyone, I am not ALWAYS willing to engage in sex, I have never frequented sex clubs or the like...I do not partake in very kinky activities, orgies (which I have been asked to join in, I always declined) ...I think you said this in an attempt to injure me...but, guess what? Men don't care if you think we are over-sexed. It is just not considered an insult to us. Proves again how little you know me and the male gender. The thing that really attracts you to me most...my sexuality, my uninhibited candor regarding my sexual activities, my ability to please my partners, both male and female..is the thing you end up hating because you don't have that with me--So you call me a sex addict...I know it kills you that I am making love to other people whether it be Megan, Liz , J or any one else in my past. You were so critical of the motivations of Bea, then of J, Ana, Liz and Megan. I know why. Do you? Okay, I can move past that little faux pas...I was only attempting to point out another example of your unrelenting hypocrisy.
Your ridiculous efforts to attenuate or diminish my level of intellectual functioning and all-around intelligence have proven to be fruitless...an exercise in futility. You might as well try to prove that I am not 1/2 Asian...or thatI don't have a penis. It is pretty apparent to me...even if it is not apparent to you...that there is some envy there, some insecurity about your own intelligence or your own . I hate to say it, but the truth is that I have rarely, if ever, met anyone at my own intellectual functioning level. With the exceptions of one or two profs at MIT...I have not. It does not and shoudl nto imrpess people as this is how I was born. My academic accomplsihments are a direct result of my intelleigence...of what I was given at birth. I exert very little effort t accomplish most intellectual things in my career and in past academia. You know nothing of the schools I have attended. Have you ever met a matriculant from Yale, Princeton or MIT? Probably not. I met some very intelligent ppl at both Yale and MIT. At Yale, around 10% of the students were legacy...rich kids whose parent(s) were alums. The majority were smart and insightful kids...who wanted to learn and were willing to put in a great effort. They accept about 7% of all applicants...which means well under 1% of the general population overall is gaining admittance here. Not all rich kids...far from it. I et the smartest people I have known there and at MIT...an
At your request, .. I did a very quick skim through of our fight and it was nothing short of painful. The dust has settled and I am so afraid of treading there again because I don't want to bring back the fighting again and the emotional pain on either one of us. The one thing that sticks out the most that I wish I hadn't said is that you would make a lousy father and husband. Michael, that isn't true and I wish to God I hadn't said that. Truly I am sorry and regretful for that statement. AND, .. if you are a sex addict, then I probably am too! LOL I don't think there is a day that goes by that I don't watch at least one or two porn clips and pleasure myself if Jamie isn't around. You certainly have a high sex drive by your own admission, but whether you are actually addicted to sex is something only you can answer. I don't know if you are or not, and even if you are, it doesn't make you a bad or sick person. In any case, it wasn't my place to accuse you of that and I apologize for saying you are. Darling, you don't know how scared I am that I am going to reignite this fight all over again by having to revisit it, and it is quite painful. Please, .. accept my sincere regrets for anything else I said that hurt you. As the saying goes, " What you do to others, you do to yourself. " Knowing I hurt you now hurts me and is punishment in itself. I am a bit of an empath Michael, especially with you whether you believe me or not. The last thing I want to do now is rekindle that same hurt, .. I want it to dissipate and fade from you and that starts from not stirring up the same dirt again and leaving it in the past where it belongs. The best I can do now besides apologizing, is to not repeat the same mistakes I've made before. God willing I won't Michael, and you surely know how I feel about you, so it certainly isn't my desire to hurt you again. It is my will and desire to be nothing short of loving and kind to you, and to learn to not voice so many of my own opinions as I realize they are not always welcomed or needed. I will listen more and talk less .... that is my new goal.
I think you best go back and read some of your posts to me. Not just a judgement lapse this time or an overreaction...much more serious and far reaching. I don't get it. Look what you said and now you expect to pick up again with us? ...It is not just a mistake. Are you to say each and every thing you said, each item/insult/slander/vicious put down...especially the hate-filled cruel things...were lies? Be specific..comment to me on what you meant and what you did not mean...I need that or no dice. Not a chance. You have gone beyond simply fucking up. You can't put that shit out there...the libelous and threatening and repulsive statements and then chalk it up to a misspeak. Re-read what you wrote please. ALL of it. Good luck.
Cripes! According to the keystrokes it told me I had, .. I should have had one to spare. The word that got cut off was "smile".
How is Jeffery doing? Is the merger going through or did it fall apart? Stock market slid again on Friday as you likely know. Europe is very unstable and everyone fears a domino effect. Scary times for many people, including me. Bad time to be searching for a good job ...
If you expect a defense of my behavior, I am going to disappoint you. I said some very hurtful things and there is no excuse for why I slipped into that mode of behavior, .. I'm regretful and sorry Michael. When I mentioned "ornery", it was said with affection and trying to be light hearted. I hope you will take it the way it was intended, and not seriously, .. okay?
Actually, I did mention at least once before that I look a LOT like Sharon. Same eyes even down to the eye coloring, mouth, lips, chin, cheekbones. Main difference is in the nose as mine is different somewhat than hers, .. not sure how to describe the difference. My teeth look more like J-Lo's or perhaps Jessica Simpson. If you remember back, I listed all the stars I have been told I look like and you said you didn't know who half of them are. Sharon or a young Stevie Nicks are the two I get the most comparison to, but I see the most resemblance with Sharon for sure. Other stars I have been told I look like through the years were Natalie Woods, Elizabeth Montgomery ( Bewitched ), and Barbi Benton ( Hefner's gf ). I had no idea her image would bring sadness to you, ... sorry. I think she would want people to remember her though, and she was so full of life, always smiling or also serenely contemplative, and I guess I feel connected to her since we look alike. Maybe some day you will see that what I am telling you is true. I am not aware of what they put her through, other than I know she was stabbed 16 times. I wish I knew the entire story, but I guess it would be asking too much for you to tell me, .. right? I won't ask then ... I still think that song 'Try Not To Remember' that is sung by Cheryl Crow is still very beautiful. Jameson heard me playing it and asked who it was because he really liked it too.
Michael, .. I have no desire whatsoever to fight or argue with you. There is a little spitfire tiger in me that comes out when I feel I am being constantly or unfairly attacked. It usually shocks people because my demeanor and personality is quite the opposite and I am normally very passive and easy going and mellow down to a fault. Just ask my friends or family. Having to defend myself growing up with two brothers that would often gang up and pick on me grew that little spitfire attitude I suppose. You may remember me telling you how they would throw rocks and dirt clods at me, and my little brother almost killed me when he picked up that claw hammer and threw it hard at me and it brushed my right earlobe as it went sailing by me, .. it came that close! I remember my older brother pinning me to the living room floor and looming over me, threatening to drop his spit on me! LOL I had to turn into a scrapper to save myself, .. that is just the way it was for me growing up.
If you have anymore harsh words you want to say to me, .. then say them as I want you to vent so you can feel better hopefully. Forgive me please for the wounds I have placed upon you, and know the hurtful things I've said are now fully regretted. If you were God and took a look inside me, you would see nothing but deep love living in my heart and being for you.
I would like to keep you in my life Michael, that is my desire and wish. There is surely a way that the two of us can get along, and I know it starts with me and probably ends with me as well. I know what my faults are and what I need to work on. Many times I need to just zip it and listen and not voice an opinion. That I can do, .. and anything I do say had better be 100% positive or not said at all. You are very sensitive and I must always remember that. There are times when you miss my humor or take something I said the wrong way or too seriously. If given the chance to explain, .. I think potential mis-communication can be avoided. If you stick around babe, .. you will see that I am trying hard to be a better person, and I do listen to your input. I just want to love on you & make you
First of all...you have no right to call anyone ornery after your despicable and contemptible behavior and your unkind, ignominious words to me and with regard to people I care about. And then...per usual form... you now have an excuse for your enormous and inexcusable lapse in sanity and good judgement. This will not be soon forgotten, lady. Some things you said in your maligning attempts to hurt me as much as you could by capitalizing on my greatest fears and worse regrets...is simply unforgivable. Better you just admit fault and not try to place blame...or use me as an impetus for your maladaptive display of behavior. Understood? I am not ready ...and may never...comment on the things I said to you...but know WHEN and IF I ever do, I will accept full blame for my injurious words. You need to grow up a bit...do you realize that? With the wounds you have attempted to inflict..a bandaid is not even close to what is required which is surgical intervention, but alas...the patient cannot be saved...too much trauma, internal bleeding.
No, I did not call you. you need not worry about me ever calling you again. Perhaps it was Tony teasing you or some hold music from a robocall. I have better things to do with my time than to call someone who mistreats me and hold a phone receiver up to a stereo speaker, LOL! If I called you...I would tell you. Capish?
You think you left a beautiful song with those pictures of Sharon Tate..I found it depressing and morbid...sorry....now of course you say you look just like her, though that had never been mentioned before. LOL! Spare me, please. Anyway...when Iw as in HS in London, we had an assignment by our Psych prefect to investigate and write a paper on a crime. Most of the students chose some 20th century crime committed and investigated by Scotland Yard. I did not know what to do..so my prefect suggested since Iw as American, I should investigate and write on the Manson Family Murders. I knew few details...but accepted the assignment. Well, my obsessive research proved to be life changing. I was affected by this women and how she was murdered, her dying words, her constant unrelenting pleas to save the lie of her baby, and the horrific details of what was done to her....and then the ruination of her then husband, ridden with guilt. This beautiful creature who only wanted to save her baby. It depressed me for a long time as a teen. I was very sheltered and naive and could not fathom of such sociopathic carnage. I lost faith in humanity. I got an A+ and my paper won the UK award and garnered 2nd place in all of Europe, thousands of High Schools and hundreds of thousands of students participated. I don't like to think about this, or consider that these things can happen...it makes me feel pessimistic. Don't bring it up as I do not want to discuss it or any details of this horrific crime. Looking at her pictures is very sad.
Okay, .. I miss you and yes, I still love you, ... your ornery ass and all ! I think about you all the time. Honey, it frustrated me to no end when I tried to make up with you and be kind, .. left that beautiful song for you with the pictures of Sharon Tate, whom I look the most like, and that got met with your telling me I was an angry bitch and then some. Soooooooooooooooooooo, I decided to give you what you told me I am. I think I succeeded, huh! Sorry. I said many things I wish I wouldn't have. You were making me feel hurt so in that moment I wanted you to feel what it is like for someone to be unkind to you. The irony is, .. all I have EVER really wanted to do is show you love, kindness, and to make you always happy and to feel good. I still don't know why we fight like we do because it puts a knot in my stomach and saddens me when I once again have angered you. I try to offer you my thoughts or opinions only as food for thought and with the hope you will find something good you can use out of that. What isn't helpful, I want you to ignore or disregard. I really don't mean to preach or give a sermon and it sucks when I come off sounding that way. I'm sorry when that happens and have made a mental note to try to watch that and abstain from doing it. I'm sorry I turned mean on you and also for the hurtful things I said. You have many good things about you and I am still IN love with you. Even when we were fighting, I was thinking about how I wish we could take the passion we put into fighting, and take it in the bedroom for some really all out angry sex! During this last episode, ... I was thinking that you would need more than a box of band aids to fix the wounds I would leave you with! You would have needed a needle and suture to stitch up the claw marks on your back! haha
Tell me please, was that you that called and had music playing in the background?
You need not warn me about Ellery...I can handle myself...so you can relax. What do you care if I fuck her anyway...I am a "sexual addict", I have no redeeming qualities and will make a terrible husband and father...remember? Liz is best to stay with her husband, not me, you said. so...why warn me? I don't like you going on and on about Ellery...I don't care and she does not influence me. Why come back here? Why? Let down your guard for once, stop playing games. Why come back here? Remember...you cannot see the good in me...you hate me. So why?No bs answers please with long, boring explanations that mean shit.
could it be because ...while you tried to forget about me, you could not? hmmmm...you tried very hard to put me out of your mind, but it did not work? Is that it? Because you realize you still love me? Not in an "I'll always love you" way but in a deep passionate way..you still love me despite everything you have said tot he contrary? Is that it? It is...because I feel it. don't lie. Why are you back? don't give me a bs answer like "I'll always have feelings for you Michael"...WHY ARE YOU BACK? Say it for christ's sake..I know the answer. Stop fooling yourself.
Well, this proves what I just warned you about, in case you didn't believe me. You're only feeding her fantasies by talking to her and it is going to lead to her breaking up with Roger because she is determined to end up with you. I hope you can see she is just using him and is living in a fantasy world thinking she can seduce and snag you from Megan and Liz. LOL
#
*
o Sarah Fri 8/19/11 11:41 AM
I notice L noseying around os b careful what ya say about M so she doesnt go back and tattle B**ch to him again. Heres some scoop 4 ya, L still trys to b my friend so she tells me shes visiting M in Oct cuz she has a wedding but shes staying with him for 3 days b 4. So I asked if he invited her and she said no but he wont mind and said he wont turn me away. She is so trying to get him and hes to dum 2 see it. hope jeff or megans there to kick her out. she is gonna try to get him to f*** her!!!
Read replies (0) Add reply
o Frank Fri 8/19/11 12:56 PM
I don't think you have to worry about M. He is a middle aged man and can take care of himself. He is in control of his sexual functioning. If L tries another move, he will set her straight. I see that she has set the date to see him and she said he has confirmed that she can come. She said on Monday that they were planning some outings, but she will make sure they have quiet time together. Lol--she is dreaming. I hope he understands her plans to sleep over at his place and be w/ him every day.
Read replies (0) Add reply
o Sarah Fri 8/19/11 01:26 PM
Frank, U R so gay and dont get girls at all. lololol!! She wants him so bad and she would love to have him f*** her and will break up with Roger if she has to. I asked her what Roger thought about her stayin with M at his apartment and she said she will let him no when the time comes. Then I said what if Roger said you cant go and she said then shed break up with him! Warn M that she is going to try hard to get him to fu** her! Im SERIOUS! I dont think M said she can stay with him. Shes lyin
Read replies (0) Add reply
# Sarah Fri 8/19/11 02:17 PM
I asked her if she was going to the wedding wouldnt she want Roger as her date and she said he might be to busy at work to come. Shell make sure he is to busy to come so she can seduce the one she really loves. Hello L!!! M has better taste I think lolololol!!! Do ya think she is tryin to have s*x with him so he will fall for her?Who nos her goals. I think she is being pushy and making it hard for M to say no. He might have his kid by then. Why get messed up with him. He better wear a rubber!
Hi Michael, .. There is something I would like to ask you that has been bothering me. A few days back, I was on the phone with Vanessa when I got a call waiting beep. I said goodbye to her and switched over. It rang the long distance ring and when I picked up, it sounded like the phone on the other end was being held near a speaker with rather dramatic music playing loudly with no words. I thought at first it had to be Tony so I kind of laughed and called out his name but no one said anything. I listened until the music ended, .. and then nothing. No one said anything. I asked Tony the next day if it was him, and he said no. Was it you? Please be honest and tell me if it was, and if so, what were you trying to say with that? If it wasn't you, then that event is really strange and out of the blue as I can think of no one else. I'm just wondering what that was all about.
It is very sad Michael that things ended the way they did with legal threats, name calling, accusations of stalking, ... Good God! I am not an evil, vindictive, hateful person and the thought of contacting innocent people in order to hurt you didn't even enter my mind. It hurts to think you even entertained that idea in your head, let alone accuse me of stalking. Good God! It tells me you really have no idea who I am. I know you well enough to know you went running to wittle Ellery to spill all about what an awful awful person I am, and no doubt she ate it up and welcomed the chance to down me with some new names and put downs, and I just bet you didn't defend me one bit because you needed someone to agree with you. She will always hate me because she knows you had feelings for me and wanted and invited me to be intimate with you and she got shunned and told that would not happen with her. A very bitter pill for her to swallow and she will never quit trying to change your mind and produce an opportunity to visit again to seduce you and will never quit professing her love and desire to marry you. Sure feel sorry for Roger as it seems to me she doesn't even love him and is just using him until she hopes to burrow her way into your life. I know her ultimate plan is to move to NYC and pursue you, .. so watch out. She will teach you a whole new definition to stalker. So enjoy your little love crazed and obsessed and possessed buddy. Her saliva will constantly be dripping off of you, ... better keep a towel handy! LOL
I hope you're doing well and your baby is still healthy and everything is on track in your life. I wish you love and happiness .... ~~~
Yes...we have already parted ways. Didn't you read the e-mail I sent the other day telling you that you and I "are history."? I meant it.
For the record...yes, you did deliver a legal threat by stating the following: "...if you involve him in this, (and) I can't promise what actions I might take.." What actions you might take? Hmmmm....threatening. This could mean many things, a threat or warning that you are not in control of your actions...a threat on my life or on the life of someone who might be close to me. I have alerted and forwarded this to J and to megan with full explanation. You are saying that you cannot promise what "actions you might take".--what do you consider that to mean?
What will Tony think when he reads this? It makes me think of 'Fatal Attraction'...but maybe that's just me. It is a threat and s now on record.
Oh I am already aware of what this lump is and...nothing scares me. I will fight whatever it is. I have faith that I will win any battle. Bring it on...bring it all on.
I voiced no threat and have told you twice I have no plans to contact Megan or anybody. "That is illegal and you are now officially threatening to stalk." WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'm threatening to stalk who? I don't even know what you are talking about! QUIT BEING SO DAMN PARANOID !! I have no plans to stalk anybody. You are the one voicing all kinds of threats. Why Michael? You are taking this way beyond where it needs to go. I know I have the right Megan so you can dispense with the shell game. You have no worries. I am not going to contact her, Bea or anyone. God you're paranoid! I have inhabited public entertainment boards just like you have. Where is the crime in that? Ellery and Sarah have stalked me too and I can prove that. So WTF? You are really going off the deep end here and I have not tried to hurt you, other than fighting back verbally against your assault on me and defending myself which I have a right to do. I don't want to hurt you so why are you so hellbent on hurting me? I told Tony all about you in the beginning plus the feelings I had for you. At the stage of dating and relationship that he and I are now in, .. not all knowledge of who he talks to and who I talk to have been laid on the table. I respect his privacy and he respects mine. He has his friends and I have mine. You are really turning into a vicious and dark, ugly person Michael. My God, .. it is hard for me to even see the good in you anymore. It is definitely time for you and me to part ways, and I still don't understand what the new betrayal is that you think I did to you because there is none.
I hope your surgery on that lump goes well and that it is a hernia and is not cancer. I hope your baby lives and thrives. And I wish you luck with whomever you end up with. Peace ...
Oh...and I'm still waiting..please put your picture up so I can examine it. I will then post Megan's photo...and we can compare. Go ahead...you must be stunningly beautiful since EVERYONE I know thinks the real Megan is exceedingly hot. Surely you must look 25-30 years younger and have a hot body and a drop dead gorgeous face--even more beautiful than I have imagined. So...don't be shy..put your money where your mouth is. If you think this person is not pretty--you must be MEGA HOT and look 20-30 years younger!A medical marvel! I am dying to see you. Please post a photo of your extensive beauty. Be authentic, real and honest for a change. Prove that this Megan in not pretty in the face and that you are much better looking. Sure...just like Tony was so gorgeous ("I kid you not--the most gorgeous man I have seen" LOL!) WHAT??? Tony was gorgeous......maybe by white trash standards.... what a crock! LOL!
Well...that last paragraph was a threat by legal definition, and now the gloves are off. My lawyers will get involved now and I (and J ) have the money to keep it going. All I said was that I think Tony should know about you and that I could simply forward these polls...I won't contact him. NEver threatened that. Forwarding these polls to Tony is not the same as contacting him...which I'd never do. That is illegal and you are now officially threatening to stalk.You betrayed me many times by posting stuff I said on other boards...why was that okay? You stated because it was already out there...but this info is already out there too...right here on this poll, some of it. And then you did it again by stalking Ellery and telling her ...grossly eluding to... things that I said about her and our dalliance. Then when you THINK you have Megan's first and last from what Frank posted on an embedded thread on a stagnant 15 month old board (nobody reads there except for you and Ellery..I searched) ...and right here I shared very personal info about a traumatic highly personal event that Megan shared with me (why I told you of all people is beyond me) ...along with some other VERY personal things...You think you are sure that you found the right MEgan...and you post it ON THIS SAME THREAD RIGHT HERE FOR ALL TO READ! ARE YOU AN IDIOT? Do you think I care if Tony knows he real you now? I have NO allegiance toward you as you are a proven fraud, an indecent and spiteful woman consumed with her own needs. You don't care about me and you don't care about Tony. YOU LIE TO HIM AND HE WILL KNOW! I will do to you exactly what you have done to me since you have NEVER admitted fault and you continue with your hateful selfish betrayals. If you get in touch with this other Megan...I am sure she is also going to pursue legal action. Don't fuck with me and don't fuck with J. You will regret it. Do you think Tony will defend you after how you have betrayed him, belittled him? Used him when as early as a week ago you told me if you had one last day on earth you would spend it with me.."THE TRUTH". You best start back peddling, apologizing very soon and drop those Idol threats...they will cost you a pretty penny. I am not kidding. BRING IT ON! I am not scared and have nothing to hide. Unlike you! Be prepared when you threaten to contact and stalk people...it is not legal. Get a good lawyer.
I won't hurt Tony...YOU will. He will appreciate reading what you have said about him. Anything I have said about disparaging Tony came DIRECTLY FROM YOU. His tiny stature..which bothered you, his tiny dick...which bothered you...his rough neck ways, his lack of intelligence...all of the things you went on and one about. ALL of the info I had to form an opinion of Tony came directly from you.It's all here in black and white. You can contact whomever you like...what could you tell them that would hurt me? NOTHING! Bea would think you are a psycho--she knows me. J has all of these polls...he knows me. Liz would laugh at you...and MEgan loves me (as she has told me) and I doubt she will be angry with me over some crazed stalker. I'd love for you to alert the wrong Megan so she can have you arrested. LOL! Go ahead...I will forward this to Tony and then you can do what you want. Dumb to break the law....enjoy draining your funds on legal fees. I won't come to your rescue nor will Tony. You fool!
But let me ask you...why would you want to live a lie with Tony? Why do that to him? Is that any way of having a relationship? Is this what you are used to in your failed relationships? You should come clean. Deceit is not way to start a relationship. Sad....
What the hell are you talking about that I have betrayed you again? PLEASE EXPLAIN!! I have talked to no one but you!! So how could I have possibly betrayed you? You should be jumping down Frank's throat, not mine. He exposed her name and company and you are pissed at me and say I betrayed? What the hell is wrong with you? I HAVE NOT BETRAYED YOU !! If someone says I have, they are a liar. What have I betrayed? Tell me ... I knew that was something you would want to know about so I copied it over to you so you could see for yourself what he was saying. I HAD YOUR BACK! And this is the thanks I get. Well, you are fucking welcome ... :(
You are making many wrong assumptions about my education. I went to college in Ft Collins, and I am a full course graduate of John Robert Powers. I also got certified and schooling to become a vet technician which I was for two years. I also received schooling and was an orthodontic asst.. I was a sales rep for a custom home builder. I have many secretarial skills. I was co-owner of a sound and lighting company and worked as a job coordinator and covered many other job positions as I was needed. I am hardly uneducated. I never once have said that I am superior to you, but you have certainly told me you are superior to me, more than once. Dear heart, I have NEVER been in competition with you, so why must you feel so competitive with me and always trying to show yourself being better than thou? Sounds like insecurity to me, and the proof is in how you have to tear me constantly down and belittle me because that is the behavior of a person who feels inferior and is trying to level the playing field.
So it's okay for you to criticize Tony, make fun of him and tear him to shreds, .. but now you are bent all out of shape because I told you Megan isn't pretty in the face. Ohhhh wow! How terrible of me and how saintly of you! Get my drift?
Why are you threatening to tell all to Tony? I haven't done that to you and he is none of your business. I wouldn't dream of hurting Bea or Megan just to get back at you. You are hitting a new all time dirty low Michael if you involve him in this, and I can't promise what actions I might take if you hurt him. Leave it alone ... don't escalate this into something that is going to hurt other people. This is between you and me and you need to keep it that way.
I am not going to personally contact Tony...you were honest with him...right? You have nothing to fear...right? You think Frank knows who Megan really is? Frank does this all for the time...he confused Liz with 4 different women in his initial search...he is a joke. All I will do is forward these polls to Tony so he knows how you keep it honest...unless you would like to admit some things about yourself instead. ARE you honest? Have you been honest with Tony? Does Tony know how you felt about me? I can guaranty you anything you told Bea or that I said about her--she would not care and her good opinion of me will remain intact. J, Bea, Megan, Liz...I am 100% honest with all of them and if I told you things that were personal...they would understand. That's the truth. I am not threatening anything. /not my style. I feel badly for this poor slob. I think you need to be honest with Tony. To show you how honest I have been...I have forwarded ALL of these polls...dating back to the Twitter one to J to review. It won't make a difference in how he feels, the degree of his feelings for me. He knows I am honest. I talked of him and that's okay...he will se it. But in case any of your crazy antics go to the next level...I am covered, Get it? Now BACK OFF. You have crossed the line and there is NOT turning back.
Sorry hateful, hostile dishonest woman who cannot hold onto men..IQ tests don't lie. YOU are not that smart-- never even went to college for Christ sakes! You are clinically narcissistic. You constantly misuse phrases, misquote easy quotes...and utilizes the incorrect text usage and words....which is fine (like consistently using 'use to' for past tense instead of 'used to' and 'was' when 'were' is applicable). I make mistakes/typos with my ADHD and my rushed state, but you try to make your posts sound good and you probably even edit...whereas I don't give a shit how I sound to you...yet, you consistently make word usage errors. You have a nerve to correct someone else. You say you took college courses--big whoop! I type exceedingly fast...record speed as you know...so I don't care much what errors I make when conversing with you. I have ADHD and my brain transcends both my verbal and key stroke capabilities. Mine are typos. and editing errors..yours are clear sign of your lack of education. Stop thinking you are so superior when you are inferior in many ways. You are a mean nasty shit for saying things for no good reason about poor Megan whom has does nothing to you ...when you thought you saw her photo- who the hell do you think you are you superficial shallow old goat. You are so JEALOUS! Put your picture up here and I'll put Megan's up and we'll see who is more attractive: the 57 yr homebound unemployed embellisher or the 27 yr old professional, slim (natural) blond whom I noticed out of a crowd of hundreds. I challenge you...put up your photo and we'll see if you have the right to denigrate someone else in such a cruel, superficial way. HOW long ago were you offered that modeling contract? LOL! Irrelevant 30 years later, hon. You told me you were chubby...I didn't care...but you seemed so insecure about it and you were afraid of me seeing you...so I assumed weight issues. The things you said about the photo you assumed was Megan make you a dark, ugly man repellent. Who in the hell do you think you are to come off so highfalutin? Back to how you think you are so intelligent ...None of the things you mention make you smart--anyone can take 'college courses' --where's the degree? Very smart people are motivated and driven to achieve academically. . Truth be told (and I do not lie..) I have to dumb-down my vocabulary when conversing with you. The proof is in the pudding: One of us is Ivy league educated, attended college 2 years early at age 16, has 2 advanced degrees from another Ivy and one from MIT, is a world traveler, makes a very decent living, and has an IQ 4 standard deviations above the norm. The other is uneducated, has no professional job experience, has been unemployed for a while, knows nothing of scientific relevance, misquotes/misinterprets Einstein, Sagan and Hawking (among others) ...has to keep reminding me, ad nauseam, how smart she is...makes terrible life decisions and has been in numerous abusive relationships, and is now dating her intellectual equal... birds of a feather. I know, I am stupid and insecure and you are brilliant and confident. Could not care less if you think me insecure...though I have never heard that one before. You are not smart enough to 'get' or to understand me because we think on such different intellectual levels. Stick with your type: the Tony's of this world.
Oh...you BETRAYED my trust again and you know it. Why I trusted you again is beyond me.
Ha ha..I know you know that I am not evil and dark...you are just feeling insecure because you know how VILE and HATEFUL the things you said were and you know I am onto you like so many other guys who have known you--even your own son doesn't respect you or want to be with you. You know whose fault that is right? --wake up! ...and now Tony will know all about you too. You are about to be exposed for the treacherous, betraying, phony, HATEFULLY DARK and despicable waste of space on earth that you have so sadly become
So you don't think I turned Tony on? Then why didn't he drop me if I'm fat and ugly and a terrible lover? Huh? LOL He is VERY handsome and charismatic with a great stable personality, awesome sense of humor, and has no problem gathering females wanting him. He showed me emails of women in his area begging him to meet up with them. Guess what?? He isn't interested because he loves me and has told me I'm ravishingly beautiful.... and I'm not fat! Every winter I may gain 3 to 6 pounds and then it comes off in the summer. I think that is normal for many people. If I'm ugly then I doubt I would have been offered a modeling contract from JF Images after only twenty minutes of walking inside their front door with no testing required. Max Factor would not have hired me if I am so hard to look at, .. don'tcha think? Sour grapes honey, ... sorry. I don't look any older than Christie Brinkley who is around the same age I am. Good genes and I take care of myself.
To: goldengiant
8/10 9:32 PM
Read
You have received a gift!
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm oh my babe, .. what you do to me is heavenly! I miss having you here and making love to you ...
To: matrixstorm
8/10 7:18 PM
mmmmmmmm those lips of yours........can't wait for you to wrap them around the head of my cock sucking it hard holding my balls and taking it all the way down your throat........holding onto your long beautiful hair and enjoying you making love to me.......
To: goldengiant
8/10 4:27 PM
Ohhhh my lord heaven help me! Call me again lover boy, .. my phone just malfunctioned!
To: matrixstorm
8/10 4:19 PM
You have received a gift!
come here my hungry lady and slap that steaming hot puzzy on my lips......let the juices flow onto my lips.........and ride my face like you were on a horse........that would get my cock hard then you can jump into the saddle........Love Tony......
To: goldengiant
8/10 8:25 AM
Subject: Hi lover boy
You have received a gift!
Hey handsome, .. Did you know I love you? Well, .. I do. I love your sexy voice and what it does to me! I love your awesome body too! Love, Barb
I have no idea what you are talking about when you say I betrayed you again. Care to explain? You blab too much on your tech site and nosy Frank then spills the beans to big mouth Sarah. You have no one but yourself to blame for that blunder. I know exactly what Megan looks like because it was easy to follow the info Frank gave. Don't worry, I have no plans to contact her and try to hurt her. She has done nothing to me so why would I ? I don't walk around making threats and trying to hurt people. Not my nature babe, but you seem to be threatening to contact Tony. He is a very sweet guy who has been through a lot and has done nothing to you, so why would you try to hurt him? I could have easily contacted Bea and told her how you talked about your sex life w/ her and shared all. I did not and would not betray you that way. I could easily contact Megan but have no reason to. I am not vicious as you are. There is something in you that is dark Michael. You say you don't like hurting people, but there is a very uncaring nasty side to you that rears its ugly head from time to time. I get the worst of it, but you've given it to virtually everyone you talk to from time to time. You flatter yourself way too much and have to cut other people down because the truth be told, .. you are very insecure! OOPS! The secret's out! People who have to brag they are smarter than everyone else are not as smart as they try to get everyone to believe. You protest way too much buddy boy. If you feel better trying to convince yourself that I am only of average intelligence, then keep trying to convince yourself of that. My grades and my scores on ACT and SAT tests tell a completely different story. I have noticed many mistakes you make from time to time with your misspellings and usage of words, but unlike you, I let it go and don't make a big deal out of it. There are soooo many more people on this planet that are more intelligent than you, and there are ways for even the stupidest of people to get into fancy colleges like Yale. Thousands and thousands AND thousands of people have graduated from Yale so how special does that really make you? Big whoop! How DARE you try to paint anyone as low class and seedy! There goes your insecurity showing up again and your having to try to put yourself on that lofty pedestal up in the sky and clouds. LOL! You don't even realize how see through you really are. I actually feel bad that I am saying some of these things I am to you because I really don't enjoy hurting you, .. but it is time you take a good honest hard look at your asinine behavior because you truly are anal and selfish at least half of the time and VERY self absorbed. Yeah, you're right. I was crazy about you, .. still am. Like I have told you, .. when I love, I love deeply and unlike you, .. I don't pull it away and use it like a weapon. I still wish nothing but good for you. Always will ...
On the subject of Tony, .. even before he met me and we were being intimate over the phone, he would sometimes tell me he would lose his erection, something maybe even you might have to face later on, .. you don't know. Erectile dysfunction is common and can be helped so his problem doesn't bother me. If it makes you feel more secure and like a big man to believe he isn't turned onto me then have at it! LOL Sour grapes again darling! You didn't get to have me so I must be fat and ugly. Sure! haha Believe what you want so you won't feel bad. I'm okay with that. :)
I know I struck a nerve and the truth or you wouldn't have reacted the way you are. I'm sorry the truth hurts babe, but I was only trying to help you, .. I wish you could see that. Instead you overreact and fly off the handle ... again! Like you always do. I wasn't launching a personal attack, .. I meant for you only to contemplate what I was saying and then do with my thoughts whatever you will, .. ignore them. Instead you get seriously bent!
Could never have you?
Now, that's funny. I easily could have had you if I told you lies...that I loved you and wanted to be with you and it was beyond passion...the real thing...blah blah. I was trying to be kind and set the bar low so as not to disappoint you or force you into seeing me because I knew how crazy you were about me. I made it easy for you to back out because I do not want to force myself on someone. I could have easily "had" you...but I suppose my good sense was holding me back. I don't lie, so I refused to be manipulated into telling you something I didn't mean or feel just to get together.. The way you tout yourself I was expecting something beyond Helen of Try beauty. There you go with your arrogance again...trying to make yourself feel better for being jilted AGAIN by a man by pretending I "couldn't have" you. Suuuuure. Think about it... why would I really want the likeness of you with your average intelligence when I can have my pick of a 37 year old gorgeous intellectual guy, a sexy and kind 27 year old woman and another beautiful 37 year old woman?ALL smarter than you. You who pretend you are so beautiful but won't meet me because I will learn the truth. I bet you are over weight and not the beauty you claim...or (possibly) ONCE was in your youth. I don't care that much about looks in the scheme of things and you have no idea what Megan looks like...and if you did, your jealous, wrathful and tainted opinion would be meaningless to me...I am deeper than that. Tony's VERY ordinary, hard-life, low class looks you SO exaggerated....it was comical. You are nothing more than what has been said before...a sad and pathetic shallow washed up relic. Get real. You lied to Tony and I expect when he reads all of these polls he will feel very betrayed. He met you and now he doesn't even want phone sex with you. Hmmmm...coincidence? NOT! He could cum over and over again (according to you) over the phone before he meets you in person, and sees what you look like....but could not in person....and now cannot even do it over the phone. Suspicious timing...wouldn't you say?
You insinuate and tell me I possess loose morals when my past speaks nothing of this. I am loyal, honest, and particular....unlike you. You dare cast aspersions my way when you are the one with the shaded past...fucking guys you hardly knew...friends boyfriends...3-somes with girls...LOL! It's all fine and I don't care...only that you are a hypocrite. I had 2 opportunities at 3-soems...but never participated...watched only also it was never a 3-some either time because I was not actively involved...chose not to be. Both times initiated by the other person...and the first time I ended up breaking it off w/ my gf because I lost respect for her wanting to do this with me, it depersonalized our relationship. You dare make judgements about me when you enter into a MARRIAGE that retains the option of you fucking around for sex only...and then pretend the 1970's this was the movement...really? Think not...know nobody else and have never heard of anyone else but you...it was relatively rare. I only mention these things because you are a hypocrite, a rotten, cruel,mean, hateful, man-repellent, low class (Tony and you are a great match--too bad he is with you only because she is lonely and can't find anyone else, he is not sexually attracted to you!!!), plebian, heathen of a woman. You are nasty and vicious to all hell. You will always be alone. What you did purposefully here betraying me again will not be forgiven. You need help. J is now involved.
correction: meant to spell 'won' instead of 'one' when I said, "pretend you one a foot race with."
You just described yourself when you talk about preaching, condescending, manipulating, being hypocritical, an ASS, and self righteous! I struck a nerve in you because I told the truth on where you are headed with all your constant sex partners. You think you can juggle and fuck around with numerous people all at the same time with no consequences or HURT people! Why do you think I stayed away?? I'm smarter than to get involved with you that way! Sarah has you pegged right, .. you are a PLAYER out for your own greedy selfish benefit and you have to come first ALWAYS !! IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT YOU FIRST AND NO ONE ELSE!! Always about what Michael wants and everybody better deliver or you will have a childish temper tantrum !! Boo hoo wah wah wah! You are a sex addict and you need professional help for that before you ruin other people's lives. Liz would be wise to stay with her husband because you will make a lousy father AND husband. Sorry, but it's true and I think you even know that. You are too into yourself and what Mikey want want wants. I struck a nerve because I hit on the truth and you are too immature to face it. As your FRIEND, I wanted to warn you where you are headed, but you are wayyyy too selfish and pig headed to listen to me, so you can find out the HARD way what you are doing to everyone around you when you see the hurt in their eyes. I wanted to save you from that, but now I'm the villain for pointing out to you what you are doing. Well good enough. Go ahead and find out the hard way where you end up. Megan is a sweet girl with a very hot body, but if her face is your idea of beauty then I have to laugh. Her eyes are too far apart almost on the sides of her head, she has an ugly chin, and her nose is less than feminine so I would hardly say she is beautiful facially speaking. I wasn't going to say anything but I have nothing to lose now because you sir, have also crossed the line. You should know I tolerated you all this time because I kept wanting to focus on the few good things about you and there are a few. Unfortunately the few good traits you have keep getting overshadowed by your constant selfish immature tantrums and manipulations to get people to do what you want by letting them and me know that little MIKEY isn't happy unless we do what he wants. You are as immature and spoiled as anyone I have ever come across! When you would get angry with me, I always pictured you in my head as a little toddler that I needed to pretend you one a foot race with. I had to be the bigger person and let little Mikey think he won the battle. TRUE STORY! All my friends and Jamie could never understand why I liked you and called you an absolute selfish idiot, jerk and asshole when I would read to them the way you picked fights with me and over the silliest topics. I knew they were right but I kept ignoring their advice to get rid of you. I am a very positive optimist and I just wanted to focus on the few good things about you. Where has that gotten me? ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE! Just like with all the other losers I tried to help along the way. You are no different than them and every bit an abuser yourself, .. VERY verbally abusive and you can't stand it when I give back to you what you just threw at me. Well I am not little dimwit Ellery that is going to lick your ass and gush all over you when you have one of your childish temper tantrums. I can see why she is perfect for you even though her elevator doesn't go all the way to the top, ... and I'm being kind! I hope she drives you crazy with her constant stupid babble and desperate attempts to get you to fuck her. Poor Roger, I feel sorry for him.
Sour grapes darling! You could never have me so now you hate me. Tony doesn't throw tantrums and he is unselfish and has many more virtues than you will ever have. That is what matters to me, .. not money. He will ALWAYS be more of a man than you can even dream about. Your loss .. :/
"Time spent lying, preaching, condescending, manipulating and being a HYPOCRITICAL blind ass with your self-righteous behavior is time wasted"
We all know who the bitter angry bitch is. You crossed the line. WE are history.
How long is my punishment this time? :( Remember this: "A moment spent in anger or hate is a moment wasted of your life." by B.K. Swyden
Please Google this video : Sharon Tate .. Try Not To Remember
Try Not To Remember
Try to erase
The smell of freedom
And every face
That happened to meet mine
What still remains
Something unrelenting
I'll say the names
Of those I've left behind
In the still of the night
Do you laugh, do you cry
Do you try not to remember?
If it's a question of fate
Do you love, do you hate
Do you try not to remember?
I see your eyes
And my own reflection
These broken skies
Again began to melt
We are the same
Fighting for something
What's left to gain
When there's no means to an end
In the still of the night
Do you laugh, do you cry
Do you try not to remember?
If it's a question of fate
Do you love, do you hate
Do you try not to remember?
In the still of the night
Do you laugh, do you cry
Do you try not to remember?
If it's a question of fate
Do you love, do you hate
Do you try not to remember?
Try not to remember. . .
Hate me if you want, but I'm still going to love you and look out for you. I've seen some pics of Megan, but I am not going to say anything since you haven't asked for my opinion. From here out, I am going to do my best not to give you my opinion unless asked for. Maybe that will keep me out of trouble with you. How can you possibly call me a stalker? I don't post the hell all over the place like your little buddy Ellery looking for you. If I'm a stalker, then what the hell is she? LOL I post here, .. period! In any case, I meant what I said in the first line of this post. Here's the latest you should know about:
#
* Frank Thu 8/11/11 11:40 AM
# Frank Thu 8/11/11 11:23 AM
Sarah, the last name is Schaub. I am sure this must be her based on what he shared. If you conduct a search for her first and last name and then google profiles, like this-- ' ***** Schaub google profiles' it will come up with her phtoto. In her google profile, you click the photo column which enlarges her photo. She works for Sothebys NY, a very ritzy financial real estate outfit nationally and internationally. Check by her first and last names followed by the words goggle profile.
Read replies (3) Add reply
* Frank Thu 8/11/11 11:41 AM
Sarah, I posted a message under your anonymous post dated July 17, 2011 in error. Read it and heed my warning!
Read replies (0) Add reply
* Sarah Thu 8/11/11 04:57 PM
Thanks Frankie I checked it out. Shes pretty but I think gigi is prettier. This girl looks like the type guys like blond and skinny and big boobs. Shell be on to him soon and relize that hes a player like I always said. Then when he marries his boyfriend mr. conceited I love myself Jeff she wont be surprised.I hope he told his cover girl that hes with guys to and has sex with them so she doesnt have hope and I hope she nos he got his last girlfriend pregnant and hes gonna be a baby daddy.
Read replies (0) Add reply
* Frank Fri 8/12/11 10:18 PM
Sarah, e-mail me tomorrow at my yahoo address. L is spying over at my place. Mike is going to have some type of surgery. I think it is for another hernia. It could be something worse, he didn't say on our tech site. Nils (another of Mike's many admirers) is trying to speak in code. It is clear something is wrong. I'll try to find out more. I will sneak in on their private conversation if I can. Don't tell L. She is a spy for him.
Jesus, .. you're out for blood now aren't you! I knew to prove my point you would want me to back it up with your exact wording, so I did, and it didn't take but two minutes top to find what I did. First of all, Tony was trying to get it IN my mouth, .. AND Tony loves me,respects me, and calls me daily, .. STILL !! Some of it missed and went up my left nostril. Secondly, I was invited to a dinner and to meet a friend of hers, not her boyfriend. Yes, I kind of had an idea what might happen though it was unsaid. I was around 22 yrs. old and bi-curious, .. so sue me!! You dear heart, .. ALSO participated in a threesome twice so what is the difference between you and me? YOU started it by trying to insinuate that I am a loose woman when I am anything but. NOT very nice of you but you get that way when you want to hurt me. I WASN'T TRYING TO HURT YOU !! I was trying to look out for you and be a friend. Why this vicious attack upon me? You are ALWAYS the first to start throwing around negative nouns and adjectives and trying to go for the jugular! WELL, you just got about as unkind as you can possibly get and your aim was to maim and hurt and prove yourself to be holier than thou. Why do you have to be so vicious, rude and cutting Michael? Does that really make you feel better to belittle me like that?
I only meant and wanted to help you when you became unhappy with me and you launch into a full scale attack. I don't want to fight with you dammit! Can we please start over now? You didn't like what I said, .. well good enough! I didn't like what you said either because your aim was to belittle and put me down again. If you are such a gentleman and so superior to me then you shouldn't feel the need to have to do that. RIGHT ??
Your attempts to be cruel, hurt me and drag me down to your seedy level have failed again. Just leave me the fuck alone please. I have enough issues to deal with in my life without being stalked and ridiculed by you and your nastiness. You are a hypocrite, in so many ways. Why must you always start this shit? Well...what's good for the goose is good for the gander...trying to paint me as a whore--I'll paint ya right back! Case closed.
Utter fail.
So...tell us about your one-night stands when you fucked your friends bf and licked her pussy...bragging about it. It was boring to read and I thought a bit trashy. So...I think you try so hard to be superior when in your hay day you seemed to whore-it-up. So stop being a hypocrite. Guess I was right with my gut...I have much more class, am better educated and should stop slumming it with the likes of you. Yes...Tony is SO much more your speed. Stick with the Jersey hick...nice pair. Maybe he will actually want to fuck you some day.
Maybe if you are good and nasty Tony will cum on your face again...wow...what a gentleman...who really respects you! LOL!!!!
It stops here or I am gone. DON'T PUSH ME.
Glad you allowed Tony to cum on your face--something men do to women they do not respect (though they would ever tell them this). I suppose it I had a whore I might do the same thing. But...I'm just not like that....all dudes are different...you happen to like the low class ones. God--I can't even imagine doing that to a woman or any self-respecting woman allowing it. Guess that what makes the world go 'round.
Get a life already...hobby, a job...some where to focus your attentions...who the hell has time to go through old posts to try to make a mean-spirited point that was said to cause hurt in the first place. You only look stupider and more desperate.
Yeah..so what type of a supposed "friend" has to go to all lengths to look up old posts in a lame (but failed...) attempt to try to prove she is right? Well...you...again...have proven nothing. So Jeffery is your example of how I engage in one nighters and use people for sex. Really? Jeffery? LOL--poor example. Jeffery was never a one-night-stand...not did I ever fuck him for the sake of fucking. 'Whore-it-up' is an expression that is used by females and means decorating one's self, dressing provocatively ...wearing excessive make-up to look sexy, etc. (look it up grandma!) It was A JOKE!! LOL! When I said that I meant it figuratively...and with Jeffery whom I dated years ago for a couple of months and knew rather well...it was not a one night stand. Additionally...if you are able to read my quote that you so obviously attempted to throw back at me...I clearly said "I don't mind it at all and I benefit too. I am not acting against my own will." So...you are using my relationship with Jeffery to define that I engage in one-nght stands and have sex for the sake of having sex? Seriously? Unlike you...I do not lie or embellish. I have never engaged in a one-night stand (like you have) and have never fucked for the sake of fucking--unlike you. So who's the whore?
Again...before you toss your aspersions ...best look in the mirror first.
So I don't know you at all? And I'M the hypocrite?? Another quote from you:
"So if I whore-it-up with J to ensure that he remains or to show appreciation--does that make me terrible? I don't mind it at all and I benefit too. I am not acting against my own will."
Soooo you have never had sex just for the sake of fucking? Here is another quote from you:
"I don't think much of having a casual, periodic physical encounter if the need arises. Men are different--they don't really care if they are being used for "the deed" and all that implies."
Well, .. Mr. Hypocrite yourself! Let me start with this to refresh your memory, and may I remind you that even Ana was just suppose to be a fun two week sexcapade!
#
M - 1 year ago
No I have no feelings for J other than carnal desires....he could be any guy. That sounds cold but it's true. I have been questioning my sexuality though, since our episodes have been frequent, intense and excessive. But I think it is just stress release. And I am still fidning myself attracted to females so nothing has changed there.Yes, I am stressed but this is my life. I obsess over everything and am difficult and high strung. But I do need to refocus. When I force myself, I can. No I am not mad at you. I am annoyed that you like awkward and untalented Lee and vacant-eyed road house saloon singer Casey over Crystal---but I am annoyed when anyone comes on these sites and acts like these guys are anywhere near her talent. So it's not just you. I am intense about everything. Every single aspect of my life and that will never change
I WILL tell you that I have never had sex only for the sake of fucking. AND furthermore...I have NEVER had a one night stand. NEVER. So stop being such a hypocrite. You do not know me at all.
Frank Thu 8/11/11 08:22 PM
I did a search with her first and last name followed by Sothebys and it also had a very attractive photo. He likes her very much and I think she is good for him. She might be "the" one for our Mike!
Read replies (1) Add reply
* Sarah Fri 8/12/11 12:35 PM
Unless she has both a **** and a vajina then cant be the one! lololololololol!!!! whats goin on with jeff is he dumped then for cover girl megan and her big boobs? lololololol!!!!!
GEEEEEZ ! Why must you be so touchy and rude? Can you not see I was only trying to share my thoughts with you in hopes it would help you? Again, sorry it upset you and I will do my best to hold my opinions to myself. I told you I offered them only as something to contemplate and that you should just toss them aside if you don't agree. No need to come unglued about it and let it upset you. If I am so wayyyy off base then it shouldn't be upsetting you this much, instead you should just laugh at my ideas. Where the hell does arrogance enter this picture? I was most sincere in my thoughts and it was all said with the hope again that in sharing what I see would be of help, .. not hurt. WELL SORRY AGAIN! I wish I could comment on what you said about Liz as I see it as very much an unfinished story, but I guess I better just keep my mouth shut. As for my saying you are leaving Ana hanging, let me explain. She holds an unrequited and undying longing and love for you, and it is my belief that until she knows you have picked a mate for life, .. she will keep holding out hope that you might come back to her, .. understand? Ohhh and by the way, .. I think you are being VERY arrogant for trying to paint me as stupid! It's one thing to not agree with me, .. it's another thing to have to condescend someone who was only trying to help you and have your back. :( And DON'T try to tell me that you have never had sex just for sex or a one night stand because you have told me stories about yourself as well Mr. Moral Superior!
Sometimes you REALLY get in the way of my just trying to love you .... ~~~
YOU are not the messenger....YOU are not merely delivering a message...it is YOUR tainted opinion, nothing more. It is foolish, like you. Don't fool yourself. You would love for me to dump Megan, I know. Well, it's not going to happen any time soon. I have a meeting so can't comment further on your crap.
First paragraph correction: Not 'recounts' should be 'accounts.'
That unintentional error may constitute a Freudian slip, LOL!