Got your message at Frank's. Will answer over there. Don't come her anymore. Okay?
M - 13 years ago
What I said should not make you feel like a failure...that comes from within. Get real...I cannot pretend something to make you feel better...pretend I feel something that I do not. We can be friends..but nothing beyond that. Understood? I am sorry if you are hurt, that was certainly not my intent. Really...
Now smile... :D
L - 13 years ago
That sounds hurtful when I am only trying to be a supporting friend Michael and have conversation with you. You know I love Roger and can not hurt him. I only want to know what is happening in your personal life because we are friends. I was answering your post about your sex happenings and only saying that I enjoyed much of the same and I am very much like Megan. Is that so bad for me to do? You are making me feel like a failure and a terrible person now and my feelings are very much hurting.
M - 13 years ago
Okay.
Let me make it clear that 'we' are never going to do any of those things that I mentioned, above. Understood? It is not going to happen with us. You can let go of that notion. Just to be clear. Okay?
L - 13 years ago
Michael, All of this was very erotic for me to read. Thank you. You should always feel free to tell me all of this. I feel very much like Megan and I do and I like the same things she likes to do with you and will do all of them and more with the right man! It is very much of a coincidence!
You are a very hot, handsome and sexy man Michael!!!
M - 13 years ago
Oh for Christ's sake! You are jealous because I won't tell you about my sexual escapades? It isn't all that interesting...trust me. And it is personal so you should not be manipulating me into revealing some things which may contain details that I feel inappropriate for some listeners/viewers...lol! Or simply that it may be against my better judgement to reveal this stuff to you...
Fine...you want to know...let's see. Jeffery is great and has been in good spirits since returning home to NY. He will be here until around Aug. 25. Then he'll be back in DC to tie up loose ends. Megan is great, sweet, understanding and very eager to please me. I cannot say who I enjoy making love to more...it is very different...cannot compare a man and a woman...and we are at different stages in or relationship. I love having se with J and always have. we are very sexually compatible, for many reasons. Megan is so new to me and so very excitable sexually...and affectionate. I like the ways he makes love..I like the way she does for me what I request...strips naked for me immediately upon request, when I go down on her...she grabs my hair...that is a turn on and her legs, her inner thighs... tighten around my head. She wears very sexy lingerie for me while we make love...she sometimes (if I ask..) will wear absolutely nothing under her dress when we go out. No panties, no bra...and I will touch her under the table...that is hot. She has learned what I enjoy during oral sex and has become quite adept. I like her long hair falling on my lap when she sucks me off. She si very tight and very wet...I don't know what else to tell you...many things I like about making love with her.
Jeffery...he is hot and is the best at blowing me...by far. He takes me way in and swallows me deep. He is raw and carnal..yet very sensual. The other night we stripped completely naked and just kissed very hard on the bed, our bodies outstretched....and very passionately, our bodies remaining entangled...it was very natural. Then I fucked him hard and slowly and we both came...God...I feel very uncomfortable..don't ask me this stuff. Hope this is good enough. Jeesh!! Satisfied? LOL!
L - 13 years ago
I don't know why I make you feel very uncomforted as a confidant. I thought we were friends. You tell all of those tech site men your sexual stories with your girlfriends of love and you used to tell all of us at all of the other sites and tell Dana and Frank and even tell Ajing who betrays you and insulted you and made homophobic and insulting statements about you. I read when you by an accidental sent me that link to the wrong poll what you told her and sexual things she made you tell her. You also told Megan before you were lovers all about many intimate and sexual details. What is wrong with me? What have I done that I cannot talk personal with you? I wish you felt comfortable sharing with me too.
:(
M - 13 years ago
I have no interest to check that site so don't worry. I am not interested in what Sarah says about you...okay? Can't get caught up in this little drama...too damn busy. Please stop telling me about this unless it is a relevant point. I don't care much who plays games and I do not wish to know details. Okay?
Ellery...I have to be honest...I do not feel completely comfortable...or comfortable at all ...with discussing personal sexual situations with you. Do not take this personally. I feel a little inhibited as you are younger and you seem to have some residual affection for me. It makes me feel rather pervey going into detail with you. I don't
feel that connection to reveal my personal secrets...about something so very personal..please do not be offended. I must be honest. Apologies.
L - 13 years ago
Michael, I wanted you to know that Sarah is spreading lies again about me on the EW site. Don't waste your time my darling reading there it will only upset you. If there is anything that pertains to you or us, I will tell you. She is making her troubling games again.
Can I call you at work later? I needed to talk to you. Michael, how is Jeff and how is Megan? Michael, who do you like making love to more? Who is the better lover for your needs? What is it like making love to them? I am curious to know. What things do they do that you enjoy? I won't ask about E anymore because I upset you.
hugs,
L
M - 13 years ago
Ha ha...J is so cute. He loves to express himself 'behind the scenes' with his inferior taste in music. This latest song does not ring a bell...though J's music is never really familiar to me (with a few notable exceptions).
If he hasn't used his twitter since July it really doesn't matter whether they check it or not...I don't really care.
L - 13 years ago
Michael,
I cut and paster this for you. I found it at MJ's on her private spot. They are reading Jeff's twitter again. They are talking about you at EW again too. Would you like the link?
blocked conversation sign-in
Sarah says
8/18/2011 at
Here it is Frank, do you no it?
encrypted twitter.com/-cached July 17, 11 8:37
When the days
are getting longer
and the people
come out at the street at night
I'll be among
The starry eyes
I'll be among
The wishful sighs
I'll be among
The fools, forever fantasizing...
When will I see you?
Summertime would be perfect
When will I see you?
It will be along summertime
When will I see you?
Endless nights of love could be ours
When will I see you?
Demand the impossible!
Everyone will be free
We'll walk down the avenue
Openly, openly....
What do you say Michael? Walk down the avenue with me, openly..miss me when I am away, be mine forever. Demand the impossible. XO
July 21, 11 10:09
I'm potent, baby, I'm potent
Just one swig of me would get most guys smashed
But a drop of you makes me stagger and swerve
I guess I'm outclassed...
Baby, I need a drop of you...now. Call me babe. I still love you.
_______________________________________
lolololol!!!! Didnt we hear these songs b4 from Jeff on his twitter Frank? One of them sounds familiar 2 me. It looks like in July Jeff was still in gushy love. The only thing he loves more then himself is Michael. lololololol!!!! Here's the ink to the twitter account
M - 13 years ago
Wow--that's nice. I like to laugh and rarely hold in my emotions. I don't know if Liz misses my laugh...she misses me and she loves me, this I know. But sometimes that doesn't mean much in the scheme of things...yes?
I don't want to talk about her anymore so please don't bring her up. It is all for the best and things will turn out the way that they should. I think the only way I can stop hurting her is to be absent from her daily life. I interrupted her life and I don't know that it wasn't simply a selfish act. Enough of this. Done talking about it. Later...
L - 13 years ago
Have her come out to be with you fi she wants that. You know she wants to be with you Michael, why would she not want this? and it makes me sad that she is crying and her heart yearns for you. I know how she feels. I bet that she misses your laugh. I know when I think about you I always think about your laugh how it looked and how it sounded, most especially. I remember the one time when I met you the first and last time, when we were in that cafe at Rockefeller and my friend Jen said a joking thing and you let out this bellow of laughter and your head and neck drew back and the sound was infectious. The look on your face was very divine and real and your eyes were laughing too. You were so happy and full of life! I will never forget it. I will bet to you that is what E misses. Let her be with you if she needs to. Don't fight it anymore dear man.
M - 13 years ago
Hi L. I decided that I am not saying one way or the other whether that is indeed my Megan for the reasons you stated in your above post.
I am fine...thanks for asking. Yes...I have been in contact with Liz as she calls me often these days....not sure why. She is well. I miss her very much. She wants to come out to NY to be with me a bit..but it's a bad time and she has enough to worry about without adding me to her list. Besides..she is pretty pregnant and I worry about her taking longer flights given her past medical history while pregnant. She was sad...made me sad. She said she missed me...she was crying. God this is so fucking hard. Gotta go...
L - 13 years ago
Michael, I am answering here from Frank's the post that you deleted after I read. So you are to say that she may not be the right Megan but you do not want Frank to know that or Sarah because if they think they have the wrong one they will keep on looking for her? So you will not to reveal to them that it might be the wrong Megan and they will not investigate anymore? You said it took them 4 chances to find E and that is true and they continued to be obsessed for a long time until they found her. I will check to see if they are still talking about her on MJ's and EW. How are you? Have you heard from E?
L - 13 years ago
I will always support you. You are surrounded by so much love Michael. Everyone loves you and it is because of the person you are. Don't let the sad desperation of a selfish miserable person convince you different with her ignorant cut downs.
What friends are visiting and why? I respond to your message at Franks and thank you for that Michael. We have to be careful of Sarah who is looking for scoop.
I hope you can make lots of passionate love with Jeff tonight and he can whisk you away from your worries and leave them all behind. Come tomorrow, Megan can do the same. You are a lucky man, my friend. No man is a failure who has friends. That is from my favorite American old movie! I first saw it in London in 1998.
hugs,
L
xo
M - 13 years ago
LOL! I am not on my death bed, L!.Please ignore Frank when he gets all dramatic like this. I really can't talk about it now...I do not like attention focused on my health...it stems from years of unwanted pity when I was a kid. Okay? I am fine.
I left you a message at Frank's regarding the other stuff. I don't know if it is still there or if you've read it. I really do not want to comment on exactly who the person is...just don't feel right about it. The hatred she has toward me I will never understand..I tried to get together with her, to meet her, as I thought this was what she wanted...but alas. I don't know what she ever wanted from me. She seems to disapprove of every aspect of me..no matter what I do...telling me I should do it different, not do this, do that, not be with this person...but be with that one..blah blah. Clearly she hates me and wishes me unhappiness...I just don't know why. It is no longer my problem and it has crossed the line..which sadly,means it is out of my hands. That's all I can say and I need to put this confusing experience, this aberration behind me.
J is home...but had to leave this evening to meet with his corporate people for a dinner. Haven't seen Megan in 2 days--since J arrived. She understands and has been very patient and supportive. I'll see her on Thursday. Have some other friends visiting this weekend ...and then my mom comes..so it has been busy. Thanks for your concern for me and your support. It is very sweet. Later...
L - 13 years ago
Michael, I am so much confused now. I don't know who you are talking about. Is it Ajing again? Is she saying hateful and belittle things again and then to blame you for her nonsense and toddler behaviours? Ajing is so stupid and speaks like a dumb peasant that she is to think her games work with you because they have probably worked with so many stupid men she is to have been with her entire life. She is 3 divorced already according to people on the old polls and the people I talked to there. She cannot hold on to men because she is an evil maligner. Like what she said to me is so evil. She never met anyone like you and she thinks you are like the other uneducated and ignorant slackers she knows. I hate her so much . She is a rotted fish. If it is not her of whom you speak then I will apologize now up front so you will not be mad at me and I will allow you to defend her and offer my apology. Even ck told me she was not nice and deceitful and she said she lied. She is the one who sent you all of those messages that scared you away after season 8 Michael. ck told me.
Tell me on Frank's if you rather what the health problem is. Are you dying Michael? Are you sick or is it a hernia that needs to have surgery? I remember the years past when we talked and first met on line that you said you were a premie and had a lot of health problems as a baby and boy. Is your heart ailing again? I thought you said it was fine and just minor. What is the scare? I never know how to think because Frank makes a mountain from a bean hill out of everything. He talks of Jeff and skin cancer when you tell me it was a mole removal with suspected melanoma but was biopsy as good and not spread to cancer. Frank behaves as Jeff is to suffer from cancer and you just laugh and said it is not near that bad and that Jeff has no cancer, only a mole. Frank gets very excited Michael. I only want the truth. Jeff and Meg can take good care of you now. I love you.
hugs,
L
Micheal - 13 years ago
No need to be concerned. I am okay. I take life's bumps and blows as they come...I am happy and content. I am not hyper-focusing on my health concerns which will work themselves out one way or the other...but on larger life issues. Enough people are there for me and concerned abotu em that I can take the burden of worry off of myself. LOL! Right now...I am shedding myself of negative, hateful and dishonest people who masquerade as quite the opposite. One thing I respect about most people in general ...they know who they are--good or bad. It is the ones who think they are what they so badly want to be...but are wretched and ugly and hate-filled inside...and their live's decisions and their compounded isolation are evidence of that. Unfortunately, they damage the lives of the ones they love who are in their path by exposing them to their insidious and perpetual soul. These are the ones who search their entire lives for an answer--usually through some spiritual means...metaphysical source...to offer them artificial strength and temporary answers. They are convinced they are good and kind...because they can be these things too--when all the while they are only concerned with their own needs and the well being of themselves..over all else. They will convince themselves otherwise in their megalomaniacal state...in their narcissistic frenzy (and I mean that in a clinical sense) I feel so stupid and duped. And you can never convince these narcissistic people otherwise...they think they know who they are...but their inter-personal track records speak differently.
L - 13 years ago
Please fill me soon Michael. I am worried and very curious. Sarah has been on Frank's all of the time now so will read there. We can go to MJs or to AIU if you feel unsafe here, but she looks at MJs too. What happened my friend? Why is Jeff flying back so abruptly?
hugs,
your L
M - 13 years ago
I'm not worried about Sarah...she is harmless. I'll fill you in later...
L - 13 years ago
I stayed away from here as you asked and now they are not talking about her anymore. Why are you not wanting to come here because of Sarah? Is she to lurk here too? We can go to e-mail or we can find another private spot from Sarah. You do not need to worry because they always are very nosey to look people up. Remember that in January they were obsessing over Dana's x and kept searching and posting pictures? And last time with Tanya and her husbands pictures in the carribean and they talked about how fat he was. They look up Jeff and found all of his interviews and his news pictures. They liked him because Frank said he was a hunk and Sarah said he was stuck up and thought he was handsome. It all stops when they satisfy their curiosity. They looked up Liz too and didn't do any damage Michael. They are jerks to do it but they are not going to expose it anywhere or start a problem. Megan is okay and she is not to fear from these dopes. You did not give confirmation if that is your Megan or the wrong one they found. If it is her she is very beautiful and looks like a nice person with a good family. I think she is good for you and she is very lucky to be dating you. I know your heart is breaking from E and you are depressing over her loss and the baby but it would be good to grow strong with a new person. I want your happiness and for you to feel contentment. Tell me how Jeff is and what are your plans with him. If you can't come here where should we go?
hugs,
L
--- - 13 years ago
Don't worry, L. Anything that Frank and Sarah are saying is pure conjecture...speculation. They don't know for sure, and even if they are correct, matters not. Ignore it. They dare try to contact her then I'll take issue...and even involve J and his legal team if necessary....So, I am not worried.
L - 13 years ago
Michael!! I want to tell you here not to say it on Frank's that Frank and Sarah made hinting that they were going to another place to talk. I think it is because they know I am back from my holiday. I will check out to see where they are trashing you. I think it is about Megan because Sarah said to Frank "tell me about her at somewhere without the spy." I will look for their mean posts and I will guess that it is on EW or AIU.
M - 13 years ago
All set...he restored the posts. Read and reply over there so I don;t have to cut and paste here.
M - 13 years ago
Hmmmm...I'll check with Frank. I don't think he would play these games with me...I am pretty sure that he is always trying reorganize his blog and rearrange, etc. so probably has these and other posts relocated somewhere that he perceives to be a more relevant thread.
Jeffery won't be home for good until end of the month, at the earliest now. Elizabeth has been calling me and leaving me strange and unclear messages...making me call her back for really no reason. Stressful. Thank God I have megan to help me take my mind off of these issues and stressors....she is so cheery and upbeat and positive and she just tells me to relax and stay in the moment and makes me forget about the negative things and stay focused on the positive...she was there for me and is here for me..emotionally...I am beginning to think she was indeed a God send L...ha ha...you might be right for once.
L - 13 years ago
They are not there Michael and I cannot find the posts I sent you. Is Frank playing the games or cleaning up again? I will try to find my replies too and resend them to you there.
Michael, do you like the song Jar of Hearts By Christina Perry? It is my favorite song.
xo and hugs,
L
M - 13 years ago
Heeeey...answered you at Frank's...a few times. Did you get them?
L - 13 years ago
Michael, I left you many messages at Frank's and I did not get a reply. Did you read them? By error I deleted them when I was to delete other messages on Frank's. I will post them again if you have not read them. Please let me know dearest.
hugs,
L
M - 13 years ago
Ha ha...I'm fine. Never would have told you had you not specifically asked...do not worry. I am relatively certain it is an extension of a newer hernia protruding in that area...not uncommon. My internist has not felt enough of these I believe. Once i go to the Urology Oncologist...s/b all fine. I think when I have the ultrasound (and I've had plenty of those...) it will be clear and I won't even need to se the specialist. assuming this is another hernia...it is only the 2nd one as the once that had surgery twice...was the same hernia...was not properly repaired initially. I don't like to worry people...okay? Normally I would tell J this...but he is so stressed now and really cannot devote much attention to anything but his work. If he feels it during lovemaking...as Megan did...then I will let him know what's going on. But there is really no need to stress him now. I'll tell my mother once I get a definitive answer...but I also don't want her to be worried and call me and insist on coming out again. L, do I really need to explain to you how Megan discovered it? No...she was not looking for a lump there...LOL! She was not giving me a prostate exam or a testicular cancer check if that's what you were thinking. Use your imagination...she was pleasing me at the time she found it....we'll leave it at that.
Bro and I cannot leave to see J until sunday night. J has an all day off-site meeting on Sunday (of all days...) and I figured I'd stay here tomorrow...get some work done and then depart at night when he will be at his hotel. Then we have to leave very early Tuesday morning as I have a few work meetings later in the day. It will be a quick trip. Daniel is very excited to see him.
L - 13 years ago
Hi Michael, I am once again very worrisome for you. Is your heart okay still and is the lump a cancer tumor or do you believe it be be herniated? I am glad that Frank made mention to this so I could know to ask you. I could not sleep last night. Thank you for opening to me. When are you to visit Jeff? When is your test on the lump? It is good that Megan discovered it or you might not know. Michael I don't understand how she could find it in that place by an accident. What made her suspect it and find it? Help me to understand this please. Do not be of concern I will not tell that witch Sarah so she can laugh about it. You should not tell that other witch you know too because she will do the same thing and tell everyone on Rickey's and post it all over the place. If you are still to talk to her after how bad she treats you. You know not to trust her too and I hope since you are smart you understand now.
A bachelorette party is for girls only. I know you would like to party and meet pretty girls and be the only man there! You are very funny and I miss your humorous.
Don't be concerning about the lump because I had the same fear for a breast lump and it was tissue and okay as you suspect that it was. It will be fine but please tell me results so I am not worried sick for you. Love you.
hugs,
L
M - 13 years ago
Yes you are very tiny and petite...like many Asian women. I am glad you enjoyed your trip--traveling is good for the soul and I must begin to do more of it. Iw as such a world traveler as a child and young adult...but with work and the toll the traveling took on me...I am a bit averse to it now. Besides...Daniel dislikes traveling so I try to only go when necessary.This guy really altered my life...but he's well worth it.
Not sure if it is another hernia...I believe it is. there is no pain so if it is a simple hernia...I'll put off the surgery until it becomes imminent. My last hernia was in my groinal area as well, inguinal hernia...though not in the testicular region as this one is. I saw my doctor about it...and he thinks it may very well not be a hernia but a testicular lump. I am hoping he is wrong as that very well could mean testicular cancer..in fact, the odds are f this is not a hernia...it is probably not good. At the time the first hernia was discovered...they were worried that it was a lump too low to be even this type of a hernia...but it was. When I told my doctor about this he said this one is different...it is hard and solid and not 'moveable'. He said I needed to have an ultrasound of my testicle (oh fun!) next week and then meet with a specialist ASAP. This is all I need...LOL! I really think it is a hernia and they are worried over nothing. Megan found the lump on me and said "there is a weird lump in your ball" (way to kill a mood...) ..I said "yeah...it's called a ball" and she said no..a different one..it feels funny." So I felt it and agreed and assumed it was another hernia. Please do;t tell sArah..all I need is her making ball jokes about me..that might piss me off. I think Frank knows better--I hope--than to tell her about this. I realize he mentioned the hernia..but if he told her about this lump being something more..possibly..I'd be angry with him. Worst case...I get one ball removed. That would suck...but I could deal...and then I may have to live the rest of my life on boner pills...LOL! Well, guess it's all part of getting older.
Let me know the dates when you will be in NY for your bachelorette party...can dudes come...ooh...I might like going to that party...LOL!
L - 13 years ago
Hi Michael!!! I am back and have very much missed chatting with you on Frank's and here. I want you to know that Frank and Sarah have been talking about you a very much amount because they think I was not there. Frank says that you have a hernia again. Is this a true account Michael? How come you have so many of these?
Michael, I am so happy and you do not have a clue to how much that we will be together again come October! It will be nice to see your face and your kind eyes and smile again. How I have missed them. The wedding is on 8 October. I do not know what the bachelorette party date is but it is before the wedding date. I will tell you when it is known to me. I can come out some days early to visit NY if you want me to and spend time to say hello. The wedding is on Long Island but the bachelorette party and rehearsing dinner are in Manhattan! Isn't this fortunate? I will plan when you tell me that it is still good. Roger is unsure if he can come to the wedding with his new position, but I hope he will.
Roger is taking me out again on this weekend for my birthday. I thought Hawaii was my birthday present but he said that a real gift has to be given on my birthday. I thought that was nice to express to me. He can be thoughtful, as you always are to me. I still feel 16 and do not feel like I am getting any older. Roger said to me that I still look 16 too! Nobody will guess that I am well into my twenties! In Hawaii someone at our lodging asked me if I was accompanied by my parents in the hotel! Do I look that little to you? I am so very petite and delicate that it misleads some people Michael!
Miss and love you! I am to go to sleep a nap now!
M - 13 years ago
L,
No...not cross at you. Go spend some time with Roger be fore you leave. Okay? We'll talk later. Okay?
L - 13 years ago
Michael, you seem cross with me. I didn't mean to sound inflammatory and divisive. I believe life begins at conception and if I can talk to a person and save one unborn child his life then it makes it worth it for me.I am in fear that you will get Megan pregnant and since you don't have a problem with abortion and Megan might not too that this would happen again and you would be devistate . I am sorry Michael I should mind by own business. Forgive my ignorance.
M - 13 years ago
Well...thanks for praying for me..not sure it's going to do any good...but knock yourself out! Not to worry about Megan getting pregnant, we have it covered..thanks anyway. You may want to dispense with such highly inflammatory, judgmental and divisive language as "you don't want to kill another innocent life." Firstly, it's not nice and only serves to make me feel badly; secondly, it sounds fanatical and crazy similar to language used by the anti-chocie 'operation rescue' nut case zealots. Thirdly, I don't need your two cents on this so mind your own damn business. :)
Frank and Sarah must be pretty bored to focus their short attention spans on me and my life. Not much interesting happening with me now...everything is status quo. Perhaps Frank is reading me on the tech site and gossiping about Jeffery. I was just over on Frank's site and not much going on there...As far as what they are discussing re: me...I'm not sure and I don't really care...but thanks for letting me know. :)
Have a good night.
L - 13 years ago
Now you have made my day! I am so excited to see you again in the fleshly body in October! Roger might come unless he has to work. That is not important because we are the friends and Roger is not your friend. I will let you know about the facts when I get them!
Michael I do not think it was a necessity to say that about Megan's pussy and God. You will go to hell if you keep this up! You are very fortunate that I pray for you and do so every night. I say my prayers to God and mention many people for him to watch over and you are one. Let us hope that God thinks I am worthy enough that he will allow you to pass through the gates of heaven in spite of your blasphemy! Megan sounds like a very good girl for you to be with. It is good that you will be seeing Jeff next week. You must very much miss him now. Michael you need to make sure that Megan does not become pregnant. I think having two pregnant girlfriends at once would not be good for you. Megan is young and so many young girls have abortions and that would be wrong. You don't want to kill another innocent life Michael.
I will see what Frank and Sarah are up to again. I think they know I was at Frank's because at one point on the chat viewing I must have logged in and Sarah said "Ellery, is that you?" and I quickly did a disconnect. They may be stealth now to avoid me. I am leaving soon for my early dinner. I am so excited about finally seeing you again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M - 13 years ago
Hey Ellery,
Glad you are enjoying yourself. Sure.... if you will be out in NYC anyway in October, come visit..let me know. Not sure what will be going on that month for certain so give me plenty of notice...and choices for a dinner. I am assuming that Roger is coming with you since it's a wedding?
J is fine...seeing him next week. Megan is great...we are getting along swimmingly. Baby fine as is Liz. Life isn't too shabby. Having Megan around has been doing wonders for my mood. She is selfless and eager to please ...I am enjoying her very much. She is a good person. Next time you talk to God thanks him for sending me Megan's pussy...I appreciate it..LOL! I will surely burn in hell for that one!
Not sure what Frank and Sarah could be talking about...whatever....
L - 13 years ago
Where are you my friend? I miss you and am to worry that you do not reply! I will send a message at Franks after I post this. I am leaving to return home in 2 days from this day. This place is so beautiful and I will always remember it for my life! Roger has been very sweet and indulgent of me this holiday.
Update me on your life my friend! How is Jeff? Is E and your baby still healthy? How is your new girl Megan? Has she fallen in love yet? If no then it will be soon. She does not know what she has Michael. I think you and Megan might be together a long time. This is how things happen. You are in love and then the relations does not work and you have depression in your life from love lost and then a new person enters. This is what happened with Roger too Michael. Megan she maybe came to rescue you and was sent by God as an angel just for you. The stressing from Jeff and E becomes unbearable and then the Lord works in strange ways to bring you peace and happiness with another soul.
Michael I want you to know that on Franks that Sarah and Frank are talking about you again. They think I am not to check there while on holiday. They are wrong. Do you want to know the mean things that they say?
I miss you!!!!!!!!
L - 13 years ago
I miss you so much Michael and have been thinking of how much I would love to go to a place like this with you. Do you miss me Michael? I am for sure going to New York in October so you must let me visit then! My friend who lives there is having her bachelorette party and I am to be in her wedding too. The wedding is in Long Island but the bachelorette party in New York the City. Do not say no this time since I will be there anyway. I will only make sure to have a dinner or drinks one evening with you. Miss you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M - 13 years ago
Yes...I believe that Jeffery will come around. He is a happy person and has a hard time staying angry at anyone, especially me. He doesn't hold grudges. He is stressed, tired and dealing with a lot professionally, emotionally and health wise. I have faith he will come around.
Perhaps the "medic" thought to be conservative so Roger would not suffer long term damage. So Roger yelled at the hotel manager because their medical person misjudged? Sounds like he was just trying to do his job. Hope Roger's over-reaction was worth a free dinner.
Enjoy the remainder of your trip.
M
L - 13 years ago
Michael!!! I am so happy to hear from you finals! You sound very great and I am happy that Megan is making you feel good. Jeff will come around because he can't help it he loves you so much. Who can blame him too Michael.
We are going to Mawi tomorrow and today we had a fun time to see the sites on these islands. I could live here except for Honolulu which is very busy like Los Angeles! It is very romantic but I have not received a proposal. I am happy for that because I do not feel ready to accept. Michael, will you ever get married? You would make a very good husband and never cheat like most men do. How is your "didi" doing? Is he in good health? Roger cut his foot on a rock yesterday and it is bleeding so much. We went to the hotel medic who said he needed stitching. When we got to the hospital and waited 2 hours to see the Doctor he said there was no stitching required. We were very mad that we wasted all those vacation hours. Roger took to yelling at the hotel management so they gave us a free dinner for tonight. I feel very lucky.
I miss you very much my dear man. I will try to check later tonight. I checked Frank's and replied to that message today.
Love and hugs,
L
M - 13 years ago
Thanks for the messages here and at Frank's...but you should focus on your holiday away and on Roger, not me. Wait until you return to share your experience..okay? J and I are fine. Intact...though probably in need of a good talk soon, once he is less stressed. He looked very tired and I was concerned about him....but he showed plenty of energy ...if you know what I mean.
Yes my "lovemaking" with Megan was very nice, soft and gentle....I am in great need of affection lately and she has been happy to provide it. I just love the way she rests her head on my shoulder and chest and clasps her arms around my bicep...when we are sitting together or walking...it is very sweet and makes me feel as if someone really cares for me and feels protected by me...I like that. I don't get that from dudes, certainly not J...he always makes me feel like I am not doing enoughLOL!
Enjoy the time away. Later...
L - 13 years ago
Hi Michael! It's Ellery! I am sneaking to say hello. I hope you and Jeff are made up and that you are enjoying your time with him. It is beautiful here like a paradise! I hope to sneak in later when I have the time. I will sneak in at Frank's too. I miss talking to you so much!I think Roger might think to ask for my hand during our vacation because he asked me if I thought this was a romantic setting and if I feel inspired to be with him forever. I said yes to both but now am not sure. Men are so much of a pushy nature when they want something, except for you Michael. You are never pushy like that about things.
L - 13 years ago
I am leaving today in the afternoon. I am tired from finish packing until 2:00 am. I had 4 hours of sleep only, like you Michael! I am so curious about these songs, you must share!
How was your lovemaking with Megan after work yesterday? Were you able to get work done thinking about it. did you make love or just go our for dinner and a date? There is always time for that next week so if you missed out not to despair dear man! How do you feel about her Michael? Please open up to me more because I am so supportive and love to hear about your life. Let me in more. How is Liz and your baby? When is Jeff coming home, is it tonight? you have a very busy love life Michael! You may have to be like God and rest on the seventh day!
Will miss you.
M - 13 years ago
Ignore Frank. I do.
Polymer Chem is easy if you are the engineering type...do not believe you are. I'd start with Adv Inorganic Chem as long as this is not your first introduction to the topic.
Well, we had some "songs" back 9 years ago when we were together. Not one single one that stands out, a few...until she reminded me of one recently that back then I shared w/ her that it reminded me of 'us'. She disagreed. However, recently she reminded me of this song title again (that I had told her when we first dated years ago reminded me of 'us'. ) The song resonates even more now and seems to be more about how I see 'us', with all of my self deprecation....the lyric is even more closely aligned with her...with us now. Not sure I can share it for fear I might confuse you with the meaning/interpretation. It's not very deep, mind you...not at all. It's a very uncomplicated Radiohead Song that I first heard in grad school when it was popular. I never listened to modern music until HS and college...and really never got that into it. Liz and I liked classical, but modern as well. I completely stopped listening to music on the radio...anything modern...after Liz and I broke up the first time. J has resurged modern music for me...though his taste leaves something to be desired. He likes things like...90's pop boy bands. LOL! Guess he likes some good stuff too. Doubt he ever heard of Radiohead. Just not his genre (Indy stuff). Anyway...doubt one would ever guess that this song reminds me of Liz...of us. again..it's simple and not deep.
There's another song that reminds me of Liz...us ...but it reminds me of the tragic loss of her and what happened back then so I try not to listen to it. It's a pretty song...but hits too close to home so I prefer not to reveal that one either. The weird thing is..I keep hearing that song pop up at the weirdest times. I heard it recently the day before she left for Amstrd when I was on hold during a phone call with Apple Comp it was one of the songs playing as my hold music...no kidding. So odd.
ALOHA!
L - 13 years ago
Frank tries to make like Nils is your lover and that Nils is in love with you but that you are too oblivious to realise this. I believe your version Michael.
We are leaving tomorrow. I am so excited because it has been months since the time I have traveled.
Michael would you recommend Advanced inorganic Chem or Polymer Chem for first semester? Which would be easier?I want my first semester less stressful since I am jumping in after no school for 4 years.
What about songs? Which remind you of E? Do you two have your own special song? Did you ever?
M - 13 years ago
Ellery,
J is fine health-wise. The 'melanoma' was superficial and was determined to be basal cell carcinoma and ill likely not return.
J and I will be fine. We are best friends first and foremost, so our differences, when we have them, are usually able to be rectified. He is a bit frosted over a couple of things: 1. I nearly (accidentally via neglect) killed his precious dog. 2. We had a discussion, over the phone, regarding a 'friend' of his visiting in DC...I suggested to J that so long as he was careful and used protection, he should feel free to have relations with this dude. The conversation went on for a while and J was very offended for some (what I thought to be innocuous) things I said . It's hard to explain and it is a long story. I just can't get into now. There is a lot of background about this kid ..this dude..
Nils and I are buddies...nothing more. I never invited him to see me in NYC. He was coming out for a medical conference and asked if I'd like to get together for a bit or to hang out. I said yes (he knows about J and about Liz and all about my complex life). He came a couple of days early for site seeing, etc. J was here too. Nils tried just one time to kiss me on the lips...I let him to a quick peck and then said "not gonna happen, dude." He responded "yeah, I know" or something like that. That was it. He has a serious boyfriend himself and he met J so I am sure he figured after meeting J I would not really be interested in him....and as J said "can't blame him for trying." LOL! Nils is a good guy.
L - 13 years ago
Is there a song that reminds you of E? Do the two of you have "a song"? I know Jeff dedicates so many love songs to you and opens you to music. Does E? I try to have a a song with Roger but he says they are all too pop. He hates Beyonce and I love her. He says modern music sucks, but I love it!
L - 13 years ago
I left you a long message at Frank's and you did not replied. You can read it still Michael because it is all there. I am leaving tomorrow for my trip. I will try to get on all of my sites while on holiday. Roger will be doing work these days because he is fallen behind. I will have free time to relax myself. I will catch up on e-mail and with my old friends from Singapore and GB.
Enjoy the time with Jeff. I hope that you both can mend your differences and get along well again. I think you are both under stressing for opposite reasons and it brings out worse case in many people. How can anyone stay mad at you Michael.? All you have to do is look at them with those eyes and they must melt. I know that you don't hold grudges so why should he too? He does not have the right to be mad at you Michael. He just loves you too much and that it always a disaster of a recipe when one wants more than the other. I don't think Jeff is use to be denied what he wants. I respect you for sticking by your gunstocks and being the true person that you are and your honest approach to all accusations. His melanoma is stress to him too and he thinks that being without you is also more hard to bear. What happened with this California man? I know you must share on the tech site with the gay crowd because Frank knows something and is being secretive. Frank keeps saying to Sarah how Nils has a large crusher on you and that you are too in denial to see it but that they all know it. Is he the one who visited you and is he handsome Michael? Why did you let Nils visit you and not me?
M - 13 years ago
Yes...she is very nice, happy, positive, patient. Very honest. I promised her I would see her before J comes home. Once he is here.... I feel I need to spend my full days and nights with him as he has been away for so long...and he is very stressed...and because we have had a few minor bumps lately in on our relationship. Besides...I really miss him :( I told her I would be over her place right after work on Thursday (Thursday bro's caretaker is picking him up from work and taking him out). I'll have a couple of spare hours. I told her we could have dinner too...so long as we order in :D
How can you be sure that is her on that poll? Don't assume. Whoever it is...her or someone else...ignore the baiting please. I don't feel like dealing with this childish back and forth anymore. If you don't respond, she cannot antagonize you. Right?
L - 13 years ago
Michael, She sounds nice. I am so of envy of her because she has guts and courage and I do not. I have feelings it will pay off in the end for her. Is she okay that Jeff is coming home the weekend or sad not to be with you? Are you making love to her today like she asked?
Michael I think that Quiet is leaving me confused messages at that twitter poll again pretend to be someone else. I thought you said you were sure that she would not do this and you even scolded me to stop. I have but she seem to want to taunt me. She is pretend to be another person to drive me crazy. I won't fall for her cruel and childish games this time. Why can't she stick with her maniac boyfriend and leave us alone? Has not she caused you enough pain?
She has said enough meanness to me to last 10 lifetimes.
M - 13 years ago
Forgot to mention...I had said to Megan : "Are you sure you want to get involved, on any level, with an emotionally unavailable bisexual man who impregnated his now married x-girlfirend and is about to become a father, while living with his gay lover?" And she said "well, that's a mouthful...but I'm up for the challenge!" and she kissed me on the cheek. Well, maybe I'm a sucker for a good comeback or maybe I'm just too damn lonely...but it meant something to me.
M - 13 years ago
Ha ha...Megan is very pretty, too pretty to be with me, that I can assure you. She is a good egg and I like her very much. She is not all up tight, and is similar to Liz and Ana in that she is very low key and positive about everything and doesn't look for answers up front, or premature expectations, or stress me out with focusing on her own needs and fears... or attempt to satisfy only her needs. She took a chance on me, and I offered her very little. I respect that. I told her a few weeks ago thatI would not have sexual intercourse with her because of J (though J is not having issues with my seeing females) and still my uncertainties...back ten...about Liz, even tough she was back with hubby. She was okay with it. She said that maybe she could just be there for me. Then when I saw Liz in Lon and I realized that all the love was still there between us , very strong, but she was also still in her marriage, very much...I welcomed someone else in a little. I told Megan that she needed to realize these things: I love a women very much and she is about to have my baby, God willing, very soon. I also love a man and he is intertwined in my daily life, quite tightly. There is no real chance at true love now...I can only spend some time with her and be with her in that moment. She paused and said "well, that's a lot for a girl to accept from a guy. But let's just hang out and take it day by day. No expectations. Let's just keep each other company for now and let me try to make you smile a little more often." Lunch meeting. Later...
L - 13 years ago
I am leaving Friday but I hope to talk because I will take my LT with me! How is everything with you? I saw you at Frank's this morning, but you disappeared so quickly that I could not chat! Will you be back? How are things with Megan Fox? That is what Frank and Sarah call her now so I think she must be very beautiful. When is Jeff to be home and what will you tell Megan?
Roger is feeling better now but he is behind at work from sickness and now he will bring his portfolio to Hawaii so I will not get all of his attention! He is a workoholic like you.
M - 13 years ago
That's really nice of you to say. Thank you. I needed that. :)
L - 13 years ago
I think you are sad and depressed and miss E and miss J and you are falling for her. You are so romantic and warm even though you pretend you are not. She loves you and that is why she is resting her head on you. you make her feel safe and secure like you make me feel. I will guess that she already loves you and it is because you are so deserving. you are very lovable Michael. She will be all the better for it even of her love goes unreturned, I know I am.
M - 13 years ago
Hi L,
Megan is newly turned 30. Frank is nosey and I am sure I dropped some things about her employer and her position and Frank is a good sleuth. Her photo is on the internet under her employer profile where she is an associate. She is very pretty...this is how I first noticed her. She was in an after work night spot so I was staring at her for a very long time and she walked over to me. I was quite uninhibited and am rather shocked she showed me any interest at all. She is much too attractive for me...which is par for the course!
Gigi is Liz...I think you told me that.Right? Perhaps you forgot.
J coming home this weekend. Not sure what to expect. I told Megan that he was coming home probably late Fri through Sunday. She then said "Can we please make love one more time before he comes home? It can be anything you want to do. " My kind of gal! LOL! I am really liking this girl...she knows me and my desires....
She came by my work today and brought me this japanese red bean pasty. It happens to be my favorite dessert...and we were talking about it the other day and she said she knew the best place in the City for these pastries which are pretty hard to find. She surprised me at work...which normally I do not like. this time it was oaky :) She called my phone and said "Don't be mad at me...I will leave something at the front lobby at the receptionist for you." I said "Where are you?" She replied "at your building, but I'm leaving now." I said "don't leave...I'll be right down." When I saw her she handed me the box--yummy! I told her we'd go for a quick walk around the block (it was so sweet of her to bring them by thatI thought I should, at least, spend a bit of time with her). She is so cute...as we were walking, she clutched onto my arm and linked it with hers and rested her lovely head on my right shoulder and chest area as we strolled. I like when she does this.
L - 13 years ago
My internet is acting very funny again and going in and out. I don't know if it will go down again later. It is not posting what I wrote before so I think there is a delay. I hope these messages make it through to you.
hugs and love,
L
L - 13 years ago
Michael, my computer was down all night last night. Our carrier just repaired the internet this morning. I left you 2messages at Frank's that you need to read. Sarah and Frank are not on the EW anymore because I think they said all that was needed. I will check it for you now and then and let you know if they trashing you more. I was chatting with Frank, sarah, Dana and T yesterday before my internet went down and it was apparently to me that Frank looked up your new girlfriend Megan's information. You mention that she worked for a large national financial company and mentioning it was near your work and some other clues you dropped without realizing. You mention her position in that company so Frank is smart and can solve these puzzles. He comment on how pretty she is and that she looks younger than 30. Michael, I though she was twenties. So I think Frank searched her unless you were too dumb and gave him her last name. He said he knows now what the attraction is to Megan "Michel is no exception to the american males penchant for competitive gene disbursement , he likes beautiful women." It was obviously to me that he saw how she looks. you should not give him any more clues. He is very good at this. Then Sarah said "Mike is lucky to get laid by these hotties like Megan, Jeff and Gigi, he better appreciate it." Then she did that awful---- lololololololol!! Micheal, who is Gigi? Is that another girl?
Roger has a strep throat so he is on antibiotics and we need him better before we go to Hawaii! Please check in because I miss you
L - 13 years ago
Michael, my computer was down all night last night. Our carrier just repaired the internet this morning. I left you 2messages at Frank's that you need to read. Sarah and Frank are not on the EW anymore because I think they said all that was needed. I will check it for you now and then and let you know if they trashing you more. I was chatting with Frank, sarah, Dana and T yesterday before my internet went down and it was apparently to me that Frank looked up your new girlfriend Megan's information. You mention that she worked for a large national financial company and mentioning it was near your work and some other clues you dropped without realizing. You mention her position in that company so Frank is smart and can solve these puzzles. He comment on how pretty she is and that she looks younger than 30. Michael, I though she was twenties. So I think Frank searched her unless you were too dumb and gave him her last name. He said he knows now what the attraction is to Megan "Michel is no exception tot he american males penchant for competitive gene disbursement , he likes beautiful women." It was obviously to me that he saw how she looks. you should not give him any more clues. He is very good at this. Then Sarah said "Mike is lucky to get laid by these hotties like Megan, Jeff and Gigi, he better appreciate it." Then she did that awful---- lololololololol!! Micheal, who is Gigi? Is that another girl?
Roger has a strep throat so he is on antibiotics and we need him better before we go to Hawaii! Please check in because I miss you
Professor M - 13 years ago
Very astute analytical observation. Am impressed. A+
BTW...your last paragraph is a crock of poop so I will ignore it and not add it into your GPA as it will drag it down to a low C. And I don't grade inflate. :D
M - 13 years ago
I like what you said and I like how you are so intellectual that you provide literary quotations that can be understood by all cultures to accentuate and illustration your point. I am of guilt for not being accepting of a friends behaviours whom I know to be true and decent human. For that I am sorry and beg for forgiveness. I judge and when you tell me I do that you are most correct. It is learning the ways of American culture compared to my insulated and protected culture. Do you forgive me?
Michael, I thought about you for a long time last night when I had insomnia. I began a new medication and it keeps me focused off depression but makes me not able to sleep. I think I have to switch it. I was awake and thought very long about you. I thought about all of the love you have in your life, but none of it is set or fixed, it seems to always be obscure and indefinite. Michael, do you wish it this way? What is Michael looking for from his pursuits of love? If you wanted to be with Jeff you know he is yours. If you wanted to be with E she is yours, but you doubt these things. I think you are looking for someone to set you apart, take you away and refocus your emotions away from a man because you see no future in loving a man only and away from the pains and the memories of your love of life E who represents the suffering and fear in you and who will stay with her husband only to avoid hurt. Your fear of hurting her has driven you apart. Megan is there and has presented you with an alternative to indecision and pain. You were looking for someone to save you Michael. For a long time I wish it was me who could fill that space in you, to come to your rescue. I know that it will never be and you have made it clearing and you have made me appreciate Roger. You search for someone and it is a person for you. It was Ana at one time and maybe now Megan. Michael, I understand and I know you will never be alone. I will not be surprised if Megan is the ultimate one who saves you from this and you are to be with her. You are looking for someone and I feel it.
Do not be angry with me for this, I want to say one more thing and this is not what I was getting at and it is an aside from my earlier expressed statements, but maybe the search is for God? Have you considered that?
M - 13 years ago
No problem. I understand the confusion when one tries to grasp something such as another's penchant, or an idea or concept that appears out of the ordinary. I always remember Oscar Wilde's quote that brings me greater understanding, or solace (depending on the situation): "Nothing human in alien to me." I try to live by that...and in fairness, Wilde stole it from the Roman playwright Terence (whom preceded him in life by 2000 years ). Original quote is: "Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto"....How's your Latin these days? LOL! Rough translation: "I am a man, I consider nothing that is human alien to me."
The quote's a lot cooler though when it is attributed to Wilde.
Ellery - 13 years ago
Thank you Michael for explaining. It is all so new to me. I don't know how I feel about this but it is your business and not mine to judge. Sometimes when Roger and I do lovemaking we adventure to new areas but it usually involves oral sex or different positions never attempted. I love you for always being so honest. You are such a real man who is brave and not afraid to stick up for ideals and free will. I am sorry that you don't like to hear this, but I love you very much for the person you are. You are so different and so ahead of your time. you will take the time to explain something with such honesty knowing it is something that I find uncomfortable yet you still have the courage to speak the truth of your actions. I love this about you and I love so very many things about you Michael. Jeff and E and any other person who gets to be with you is the luckiest in this life. E is having your baby and I envy that. I dream of spending time with you again. you are very special. You always make me feel safe and okay with everything. It is a gift that you have.
Love and hugs,
L
--- - 13 years ago
LOL! Relax Ellery...I am not some dangerous pervert. Trust me, Okay? People become sexually aroused from different stimulants. Males tend to be more visual than females and I am no exception...in fact, I am highly visual. Yes....I am a person who "beats off to porn" and quite often. I never partake in my fetish unless the female is completely willing...it holds no appeal to me unless I know the women is at least aroused by my desire..if not by her own. I am not into bondage nor am I into pain, spanking, deviant behaviors such as S&M or degrading my partner. I suggest to my partner, quietly, what I would like to see her do... and if the woman agrees, I become very aroused. It is safe and there needs to be trust...therefore, I always know and trust someone before I can become sexual in this way with them. This is not all I do...I like the 'normal' stuff..intercourse etc. And these things are incorporated into my lovemaking. I would never hurt anyone...ever...that holds no appeal for me and would not arouse me. I do not force women to defile themselves. Watching a women submit to me under duress holds no appeal...having a woman disrespect her body (if SHE views it that way...I certainly do not) against her wishes holds no appeal whatsoever. I ask them to do things like masturbate for me while I watch and observe very ,very close up (bird's eye view). I ask them to do specific things like insert their fingers use a dildo...use 2 dildos...lick their fingers, etc. I am sorry if you find this disgusting...you have that right. I am telling you because I know you seemed disturbed. Yes...I do "normal lovemaking" and enjoy it very much. The last time I aw Liz we made love quite spontaneously...with no foreplay to speak of...straight intercourse only. It was very erotic and I enjoyed it immensely. I hope this provides a better understanding.
No...J and I do not do this. I only enjoy this with women...with men Ia m much more straight forward. J and I are on equal footing sexually.
L - 13 years ago
I find this all very weirded Michael. You seem and look so sexy and so normal and are too handsome to be a perverted man. Why do you need to look and leer at naked vaginas and bodies? You are to sound like what Sarah has said many times a dirty old man. Why do you want to make the girl do things to herself and just watch that seems like a person who beats off to porn or something. Or to beat off from looking at a girl defile herself does not sound sexy. I don't know Michael and I am having a hard time understanding this. You don't spank or tie up do you? You don't pull hair or hurt them I hope. Please be honest for me. I should have a clue because there were signs I think. Do you do normal lovemaking too? Do you do the same things with men? Does Jeff pose and masturbate and do the things for you to order him to do?
M - 13 years ago
No Ellery, it's true. What Frank says is entirely true and I've never tried to hide it. I don't like to think of myself as having deep, dark secrets...but I suppose I do...like most people. LOL!
The women I get along with best and the women I have spent time with and have had successful relationships with were all submissives...all of them. Many outside of the bedroom as well...docile, agreeable and consensual. Most have not been in that sexually submissive role before me. Bea was submissive sexually, bit not socially. LOL! She was a 'submissive alpha female.' this may be in part, while we did not last. Sorry to disappoint you...but 'tis all true.
The reason you and I didn't partake in this fetish is because you rather chased after me and got undressed yourself and pursued me...quite doggedly that evening...and I finally relented to your feminine wiles. Remember?
Was supposed to be at the HP movie with bro right now...but he is still so pissed off at me for not getting tix last evening (was sold out) that he is not talking to me. He went over to our neighbor and invited him to go (an elderly man) so I gave bro my ticket to give him.
Ellery - 13 years ago
There is no reasons to beat up on me when I was trying to help you. Are you trying to make me depressed and cry for some pervert reasons that you get off? I think that you waste your time with people who are your inferiors and not your equals, but I won't speak of this again or you will become upsetting again.
Frank and Sarah are spreading lies about you on EW and saying you are a sexual pervert who likes submissive girls who you can control and have them do things that are perverse and unnatural. Frank started it but is not insulting you as Sarah is and he is saying that you have odd fetishes and you like to always have girls stripped naked and you stare at them and only want submissive girls. I think you should go on there and respond and tell them to stop spreading lies and hate! You never did the submission to me so I think they don't
know what they are talking about.
--- - 13 years ago
Okay....Megan is "young and pretty"...feel better? But you were not talking abut Megan now, were you? I think you were indirectly referencing yourself. Funny you say I should be more confident because I can get young pretty girls easily. LOL! I have never been accused of lacking self confidence! The reason why I tend toward women who are closer to my age is because they tend to be into the same things that I am...they are more experienced and hence more sexually aware and open-minded. Okay? Can you give this a rest now.
M - 13 years ago
The women whom I choose to be with are with me for the same reason...and none of it is superficial. Let's just leave it at that. Not mad at you...but you could benefit from a bit of tact. You are young...you will learn. Not mad...okay?
Ellery - 13 years ago
I don't understand. What did I do? I was being honest and telling you that you should have more confidence and you can get young pretty girls easily Michael. You don't need somebody's throwaways. I was praising you and not criticizing you! I feel now that I cannot do anything right and it makes me feel very daft.
M - 13 years ago
LOL! Ellery, your mother is safe from me...not to worry...I will not attempt to seduce her.
I did not feel you were judging me...but judging a particular segment of the female population. Not nice.
L - 13 years ago
Michael, I am sorry to be out of line with my comments. It is your business if you prefer the company of old ladies. You are handsome and sex appealing that I thought with your energies you are better with a vibrant and beautiful young girl. Michael, you would not like my mother she is plumpy and not very female to look at. She does not look like me and is not pretty or petite as I am, and I am happy I do not resemble her physical traits. You would not be interested in my mother and you must take my word! She dresses like a manly fashion too. I will not judge you anymore. I did not think I was judging you but complimenting you. I am sorry that I keep making bad mistakes because I care so much for you. You are the nicest man I have ever known.
Frank and Sarah are to be found at EW recap: Crystal Clearly. It took me many hours to find those rats. They are dising you, but Frank is behaving.
M - 13 years ago
Well, that depends how sexy your mom is, how intelligent and interesting she is...if she is open-minded, honest and trustworthy and whether she has a keen sense of humor. Being pretty with some awesome curves helps too...but is not essential. So, maybe even your mother would be a better match for me than you are. Don't judge, it sucks.
Ellery - 13 years ago
I am sorry Michael I just thought that you are better suited with a woman who is young and fun like you. I know that E is not that old yet but Bea is the same age as my mother and it is hard for me to think of you dating my mother. What you had said about E she seemed like a homebody who just reads and plays a violin and likes boring mundane things and that is not you, Michael! You are 25 at heart! That is all I was saying. Since Megan is 10 years younger than you I think that is more suited to your interest and tastes as a man. I was insulting and so I offer my redress.
hugs,
L
M - 13 years ago
ELizabeth is very progressive and just about the most inclusive and socially liberal person I have ever met. She doesn't just 'talk the talk' like most people who claim to be progressive thinkers. She is very 'bohemian', and by that I mean she has varied artistic, literary and world interests and disregards conventional standard of behavior based on this. She is, however, at the same time very sophisticated in her tastes and pursuits. She is not an "old fuddy-duddy". She is the most inclusive and broad minded person I know. Bea is very lively and "vibrant"....funny how you would refer to both of these very different, yet very forward-thinking women as "old, backward" thinking....they are anything but....and this is what I love most about both of them.
L - 13 years ago
Old means too old for me? Are you to say again you are getting old and that you are too old for me. I like mature and experience men and I like men who are charisma Michael. You don't give me a chance. You are right and I love Roger. Knowing you are out there makes that hard. If I never met you, Roger would be my engaged prospect by this time. I understand that it is not meant to be. It hurts to know this, but I can cope. Friends is better than never met you and not knowing you, so I will take friendship then!
I think you pick the wrong women especially they are too old for you. Megan is younger and a better match than Bea or E with their old set ways of former generations. You are vibrant and forward thinking. Old backwards women are no good for you Michael. I know that E is not that old but she seems sedate and not modern and chic which is your desire.
M - 13 years ago
You are correct, I care not what they say about me. If Frank starts deriding Jeffery again, unprompted, for no reason ..I shall take issue...otherwise, let them play their games.
No reason to be jealous...Megan and I are just having fun and she is keeping me company. She is very convenient right now and she was here for me when I needed someone. Besides...I am not a good person with whom to be involved. Roger is awesome...he is loyal and committed to you. Imperfect? Yes, but he is a decent man, a good wage earner, learned and cultivated. No reason to look elsewhere...especially where there is little or no potential. But this I mean.... if I wanted you with me I would have thrown out the invitation long ago. Okay?
Am in such pain! Pulled a hamstring running...I am getting old! Need to take it easy. Man it hurts!!
L - 13 years ago
Michael, Sarah and Frank are at it again talking about you. I don't know where but I'll look at the suspicious places. I can tell because they say certain things then say go back to our old discussion where we can elaborate. I know you are to say you don't care, but I do care. Be careful what you say on that computer technical site because it is all coming back to Sarah and Dana. Unless you want the world to know. How was Megan last night? I admit that I am very jealous Michael! I am getting that I am not really your type of girl, but I can dream as you like to say!
L - 13 years ago
I think it was July 7 when you told us at Frank's that you were to meet a friend for lunch and I think you said it was a woman. I was to think at that time you were talking about Megan. But it was lunch and more!! So that was when you and Megan did the bad deed! You are being so much forth to come with detailing now Michael! I am chatting with Dana and Tanny on Frank's now so come to join us. They are all watching America got Talent, but I am not. Are you Michael? Let us finish our talk over there.
M - 13 years ago
Ha ha...don't worry...I have enough relationship issues to allow myself to fall for another person...not to worry. I shall keep it all in perspective. Not worried about another offspring...I did not deposit my baby making fluid inside of her. And other than that very first entry...which was rather unplanned for intercourse...I used protection the other 2 times we engaged in activity.I am seeing her tonight though...she called and said she wanted me to come over after work. So cute. I said "Why, do you need to hang some pictures in your new place?" She said "actually, I was hoping I could see you naked again." I said "DONE" and hung up the phone. She's cute...guess I'll have to spring for dinner once we're done! No problema!
Talked to J briefly last night and began to tell him about Megan and he stopped me and said "babe, I am stressed now to the hilt...I can't deal with this. I love you, I trust you...just no dudes. Okay? I mean it."
I realized this all started with Megan after I came back from Europe and after J left here on 4th of July long weekend. It happened quite against what I had planned. Think I was just lonely and needed to experience real affection from a woman. Anyway...she's pretty understanding of my situation and knows I am not looking for love with her. so, she'll be fine.
Yes...stop coming here ASAP...I will be fully off this site forever by Saturday. I am also thinking of cutting back on the entertainment sites as a whole, all of them, until Idol starts up again in January.. Could use the break. Becoming obsessive.....
L - 13 years ago
I think it is hard to go on Frank's because Sarah is back and snooping. Why can't we stay here, EW or MJ's? I am leaving for Hawaii soon Michael. We can stop posting here when I depart.
L - 13 years ago
Michael, I am worried that you are falling for her! I am worried too that you are going to be in the position of dealing with another pregnancy unless you were good and used protecting. Michael, Frank must have told Sarah because she said "lolololololol, Michael is trying to add to his brood."
Michael, it has been a long time since you have opened up to me like this and post personal things in such a long blog. I like this!
so many typos above! - 13 years ago
L,
Pardon the typos...I was eating and typing and on a conference phone call all at the same time! LOL!
M - 13 years ago
So, should you need to reply, please do so on Frank's, as I am planning to leave Rickey's polls for good and restrict the access from my computer at home and work. Which means..I won't be able to log on here. Kinda busy but need a few days to do that. So, by this weekend I won't be accessing this place so better to stope coming here now.
I realized I never answered your question about 2-3 episodes w/Megan. So, after I had made love to her...I culminated but she had not --I know..sometimes I get too anxious and selfish, :) anyway, I had to perform on her to bring her to 2 climaxes....but after that, I was excited again, so asked if I could enter her again and she said "of course." An hour or so later...I forced to drive her home after we showered, etc. Snuck out on bro...LOL! She wanted to sow me her new apartment (she had just moved in). After my 5 minute tour, I said I should get going. So I kissed her and hugged her, then kissed her again and again....soooooo, we ended up in her bedroom for round 3! Since this all happened on the same day and within hours....I was considering it the same episode, sort of..hence 2-3, instead of a total of 2 separate sexual liaisons. I saw her this past Sunday for brunch, but no sex (am trying not to get too involved here). she is very sweet though....she does this thing to me that I really like, and nobody has ever done. When we were waiting at the hostess desk to be seated for brunch, she clutched my forearm with both of her hands and rested her head, while standing, against my lower shoulder and chest. As if she was hugging one half of my body. It was really nice...I liked it. I am not into publicly displayed affection...but she is...she si very confident and not afraid to rest her head on my shoulder spontaneously while we are walking or standing or even seated. I am beginning to like her a lot. Certainly and definitely not love...don't think that potential exists...but I like her quite a lot and feel more affection for her since we made love.
So...I'll be closing out the rickey polls probably on Saturday when I have a chance to permanently block it from my system. I'd like to maintain his blog page though...if I can eliminate the polls only, that is what I will do. So respond on Frank's, not here...okay?
M - 13 years ago
J's piece was not in the Journal...Frank noted the wrong newspaper, LOL! What Frank said was "In the paper it says that Jeffery's assets will double in size. Lucky Michael!" I think that was Frank's attempt at penis humor. J is attempting to merge with 2 other companies, effectively buying them out. His assets will double in size...as in "financial assets." Frank looks for any opportunity to make gay dick humor. My " sugar daddy"? Not sure about that...though he will be an eceedingly wealthy now. His upfront costs for these purchases are astronomical...but the rewards are abundant. Not that he needs any more money. He is trying to talk me into quitting work and taking a break...or work for him. That's all I need is to be dependent, financially, on him. No siree! He'd just love that! Last he was here he said "okay...so my accountant has projected that I will double my asset base and earnings in the first year and then take off after that...so, are you sure you don't want to marry me?" I just laughed and said (jokingly)"If I thought you were serious, I'd answer you." And he replied "I AM serious. I'd marry you in a NY minute." Ha ha! Could you ever picture me married to a man??? The notion of me being married is funny enough...but to a MAN? LOL--he is awesome though--love the dude.
Just trying to make it through the day without Elizabeth. Gets easier every day. I am wondering if my life would be more stable, easier, happier...had I never contacted her. Then once the baby comes (God willing...) I'll be seeing her again and the hurt will come back and I will suck it up and pretend it doesn't hurt. I'm not that strong. But for now..it's just making it through the day without her.
Megan is a good person...happy-go-lucky, sweet, cheerful...fun to be around. Never complains or seems to get upset. It's refreshing. Once I took control she completely backed off with her sexual flirting and her e-mails and calls...and she let me take control. That's how I like it...being in the dominant role. Without going into detail...we had an episode a couple of weeks or so back where, while it was sexual in nature, it was not sex. We were both disrobed and we both pleasured ourselves. It was hard holding back and not having intercourse...but it was very erotic and visually stimulating and I enjoyed it. She was not too pushy after that interlude...but did tell me that she would like to do it again. Well...she is very physically attractive...sexy enough, while not the sexiest woman I've ever been with. But very pretty and looks awesome nude and posing for me. Her body is very pristine and flawless. Hope I'm not saying too much. Anyway...so you know Frank and Sarah embellish and love to fabricate bs to make me look like a sex addict. Why they enjoy this, I do not know. We met for lunch after I returned from Europe. We decided to go back to my place to replicate our previous episode. Bro was supposed to be dropped off at 5:00 by his caregiver. We were both nude but had not begun our activity or simultaneous mutual satisfaction. when the buzzer on my door rang from the lobby. Huh? It was bro coming home early w/ his caretaker saying he forgot his key! LOL! Buzzed them up and Megan and I quickly ran..mostly nude..into the bedroom. We were laughing because bro was calling my name throughout the apartment "Michael! Michael!" So, I yelled "I am in the bedroom..DO NOT come in, I'd like some privacy." Bro knows what that means, LOL! So he yells back "Oh Jeffery must be home. Hi Jeffery!" So he went to his bedroom to watch tv, his caretaker left..I apologized to her...but I was still on the bed with her laughing...partially naked..So, nature sort of took it's course and the inevitable happened. I just looked at her while on top of her and said "May I?" She smiled and positioned her body so I could enter her...and it happened. The hard art was sneaking her out after so bro would not meet her! THAT would have been awkward! Later...no spell check
L - 13 years ago
I tried to chat with you on Frank's and then you disappeared! Michael, you no longer have a need to apologize. What you did to me coming to my rescue when nobody else would still will always mean so much to me whether or not the debt is repaid. Frank was teasing you and I must laugh too saying that now Jeff is expanding his corporation and the Wall Street Journal says he is to double his company in size that he is your sugar daddy. That is so funny because Jeff is younger than you Michael! I am glad you are good humored.
Hawaii is a few days away but I am packing early to be organized and so I do not forget and wear things that need to be washed.
Michael, what do you mean when you say 2 or 3 episodes with Megan? Would not you remember how many sex times you had? What does that mean? Are you to continue sex with her? I am being very curious again! Sarah seems to know something so be careful if you tell Frank anything. Michael, you have not told me what happened in Europe with E. Was it a loving or a friendly visit and is her health good now? When Sarah sends messages and she think you might see them on Frank's, she says PB as you and it stands for playboy. I am sorry Michael but Sarah is very jealous too so she needs to pretend you are a playboy and that you have no emotions and are a user in women. It makes her feel that she is not losing out on something. When she says PB it means you. I think we should call her BW for bitch woman! I am being so terrible now!
M - 13 years ago
Okay, thank you again, for the unsolicited religious sermon. I suppose if it is in "God's hands" then....I better start going to church if I want things to turn out positive. Right? Uh-huh...
Well, it's not that simple. Elizabeth has nothing to do with Megan...and what I have done with Megan was only 2-3 episodes and not completely for sexual pleasure. She is being a friend to me at a time when I feel I don't really have anyone. She cared enough to offer me that. She made a point to be with me at her own inconvenience when I needed a shoulder...okay? Now that we have been intimate, I do care about her more...but that was inevitable. She is a good person and very nice, very positive, honest and fun to be around. She takes my mind off of things. Liz is back with her husband and it is no longer my place to speculate for how long a duration, or what impetus she has for staying with him. She may change her mind and she very well may not. I cannot wait around for her...unfair to both of us. She has no emotional expectations or long term romantic expectations of me. The only one I really need to answer to is J. He will be okay with this, I know. It only really happened on 2 or 3 occasions and may never happen again. We will see.
Again...I really wish you had not sent those funds to me. I don't know what else to say. I am still very sorry that you were made to feel as a user and so compelled to tell Roger about what happened so long ago and guilted into returning this money. It was a gift, not a loan. ... I only wanted to help. It still angers me when I think about how this all played out. I am very sorry.
Enjoy Hawaii!
L - 13 years ago
Michael, I am worried too and I hope for you that E is well and healthy. Do they still expect they she will lose the baby? I know that it hurts your heart to think of this because I read what Frank wrote to Sarah and Dana about what you shared on your computer technical site. Michael, it is in God's hands and you must have faith.
Are you now having a sex and physical relations with Megan? I am a little surprising since you saw E in London that you would now be with Megan. I am only a guess this is what you are doing, so what is happening with you and Megan now? I was going to ask you at Frank's but I know Frank and Sarah know something and I did not want to have them gossip more about your life and sex partners. I know you do not like when they go negative.
Roger is wiring you the money when the bank opens at 9:00. I know you don't want it but it is only right. You should to give out your address in October when I asked you so I could mail it then. Thank you for your honor and I will not easily forget you saving me. You should have told me that it was unsettled about the money. I should then thank Quiet for bringing the importance of it's repayment to my attention. Roger also included interest for it as a loan. Is this acceptable Michael?
I have to run back to my packing. It will be nice to relax and be care freeing in Hawaii!
M - 13 years ago
Very busy...met Megan this morning for brunch, and then had to work. Have been shirking my duties this week and last, and have found myself behind. My crazy life. Reeeeeeallly miss Jeffery. Bro has been keeping me on my toes with J gone...and now I have to make plans for unexpected company next week. Haven't heard from Elizabeth in a few days and am now concerned about her health. I hope I can sleep tonight w/ out worry. She didn't look particularly healthy when I was out there. She looked gaunt and tired. Poor thing. :(
L - 13 years ago
Where are you my friend?
L - 13 years ago
Ok. On 19 July. Which time? Don't let Sarah know or it will be disaster! What is the diagnosis then? Come to Frank's to tell me when the updating alert is off and on private again.
hugs,
L
M - 13 years ago
Naomi is a former friend from London. We were pretty close for a spell...then she decided to hate me when I began dating Ana. That's okay though...not angry...she was just trying to spare Ana's heart from being broken. Ana and she were good friends os I get that. Besides...I think Naomi didn't like the fact that my relationship with Ana rather prevented both of us from seeing her as often. She is a nosey Parker, but a good mother and a decent person....a bit bitchy and meddlesome for my taste. I know I've mentioned her before...but perhaps not to you.
Ellery - 13 years ago
Michael, Who is Naomi? I don't know that name. Is she another former lover from London?
M - 13 years ago
I care little about what Sarah says....it doesn't offend me so don't feel the need to event ell me...I don't really care.
I think I told you I was able to see many friends in Europe/UK...Bea, Ana, Liz and I even saw Naomi, who conveniently happened to pop in while I was visiting Ana. LOL! I had absolutely no intention of bedding Ana....I love her as a friend and as a former lover, but do not wish to complicate her life. She is happy with a boyfriend and she holds no resentment toward me. She knew from the onset that it was not to be enduring and while she voiced her feelings to me and her wishes to go further should I choose...she is happy for what we have and from what we have become: life long friends. She is awesome and so sweet and I care about her...a lot. In fact, if I were free of J and did not have the responsibility of Liz and the new baby coming...and if I resided still in UK....I would most definitely think of pairing with her in a relationship. Naomi was very cordial...bordering on kind this time! She hugged me and told me Thomas...her little boy...missed me. Ana, in her wisdom, did not tell her about Liz's impending delivery. Thank God or she would have started her bitch rants or given me the cold shoulder.
Gotta run--promised to take bro out for breakfast this morn.
L - 13 years ago
Thanks Michael for the Hawaii information. I think I will let Roger take care of the planning because he is willing and I do not much care for planning out my journeys. I sent you a message on MJ's and it was deletion. Her blog is quiet now that Idol and Voice is over so she has time to perusal and find posts that are off topic. I left you that message again at Frank's and thank you for your reply there. I want you to know that Sarah is back to talking about you but that it has not been that bad yet. She said to Frank, "It looks like Michael is back to his old games again. That didn't take long. Maybe he wants to add to his brood, lolololololol!" First Michael, I did not know what brood meant but I looked up the word and it means children in a family. That was unkind to poke at the fun for E being pregnant with your baby and saying that you are to get other girls pregnant too. Frank thought it was funny but he is more joking than evil. She is so jealous just like Quiet. Then second, I really hate when Sarah does that - lololololololol, it is annoying to me. Why can't she write it once like everyone else?
Are you ready to open about what happened with your admirers in Europe? What happened with Megan this time, anything with sex or just friends? I am here to listen as your friend. I need your address to mail you the money I owed you. Thank you dear man!
M - 13 years ago
Headache gone. I have visited Hawaii twice...once in my youth as a family trip, and then again during college spring break. Don't remember much.Volcanos are always fun to see....beautiful blue ocean water...caves. The thing about traveling is...if you do it with someone you really like...care about, etc...you will have a great and memorable time. Play it by ear and have no set plan or expectations. This is always, imo, the best way to travel. J is trying to close his deals so I don't want to pressure him about coming home again when he is working his (awesome and sexy) ass off. He will let me know soon...I may only get a days notice. I miss making love to him...it's been hard, worse than when I was in London because we were not getting along as well then. I need tot talk to him, so I am really missing his companionship and our conversations now. I need to talk to my sister about her step son touring Yale. I haven't heard an update...but I'll need some notice. I think he is planning to come end of this month. I have 2 friends who live in that area still (one is a Yale prof now) so will visit them then.
L - 13 years ago
Hi Michael, I saw your message at Frank's from earlier in this evening and then when I made to reply, Frank's system was down. I think he is doing maintenance again so your message may be purged. How did everything go? I will try you at MJ's. I hope your headache is better. I use Ibuprophen when I have headaches and it works for me. Do you have any thoughts on Hawaii to share with me? When are you taking your nephew to Yale and when is Jeff expected to travel back home?
L - 13 years ago
Michael, You are a gentleman through and through and have such strong values. I told you yesterday I am in awe of you and your resiliance and it is not wonders to me why you have so many admirers. The closer I become to Roger and the longer I know him I realise the same qualities in him too. Yours are more obvious to me, but his are there.
I know very much that look you gave her and with those eyes you have and that way of staring, I can only bet you she was flattered. She is not use to men smiling or looking at her that way because of her status and her most famous in the world husband. You have very much sex appeal just like her husband. Do you think he is hot too? Would you have sex with him if he was gay or bisex? I am only asking for curiosity.
What can you tell me about Hawaii? I know of nobody who has visited. I need some advice. Roger wants to do these boring type of activity walks and tours. I want to sun on the beach and go to Luau and try to surfing the waves. What is your advice if you have traveled to there.? We are beginning in Mawai.
Got your message at Frank's. Will answer over there. Don't come her anymore. Okay?
What I said should not make you feel like a failure...that comes from within. Get real...I cannot pretend something to make you feel better...pretend I feel something that I do not. We can be friends..but nothing beyond that. Understood? I am sorry if you are hurt, that was certainly not my intent. Really...
Now smile... :D
That sounds hurtful when I am only trying to be a supporting friend Michael and have conversation with you. You know I love Roger and can not hurt him. I only want to know what is happening in your personal life because we are friends. I was answering your post about your sex happenings and only saying that I enjoyed much of the same and I am very much like Megan. Is that so bad for me to do? You are making me feel like a failure and a terrible person now and my feelings are very much hurting.
Okay.
Let me make it clear that 'we' are never going to do any of those things that I mentioned, above. Understood? It is not going to happen with us. You can let go of that notion. Just to be clear. Okay?
Michael, All of this was very erotic for me to read. Thank you. You should always feel free to tell me all of this. I feel very much like Megan and I do and I like the same things she likes to do with you and will do all of them and more with the right man! It is very much of a coincidence!
You are a very hot, handsome and sexy man Michael!!!
Oh for Christ's sake! You are jealous because I won't tell you about my sexual escapades? It isn't all that interesting...trust me. And it is personal so you should not be manipulating me into revealing some things which may contain details that I feel inappropriate for some listeners/viewers...lol! Or simply that it may be against my better judgement to reveal this stuff to you...
Fine...you want to know...let's see. Jeffery is great and has been in good spirits since returning home to NY. He will be here until around Aug. 25. Then he'll be back in DC to tie up loose ends. Megan is great, sweet, understanding and very eager to please me. I cannot say who I enjoy making love to more...it is very different...cannot compare a man and a woman...and we are at different stages in or relationship. I love having se with J and always have. we are very sexually compatible, for many reasons. Megan is so new to me and so very excitable sexually...and affectionate. I like the ways he makes love..I like the way she does for me what I request...strips naked for me immediately upon request, when I go down on her...she grabs my hair...that is a turn on and her legs, her inner thighs... tighten around my head. She wears very sexy lingerie for me while we make love...she sometimes (if I ask..) will wear absolutely nothing under her dress when we go out. No panties, no bra...and I will touch her under the table...that is hot. She has learned what I enjoy during oral sex and has become quite adept. I like her long hair falling on my lap when she sucks me off. She si very tight and very wet...I don't know what else to tell you...many things I like about making love with her.
Jeffery...he is hot and is the best at blowing me...by far. He takes me way in and swallows me deep. He is raw and carnal..yet very sensual. The other night we stripped completely naked and just kissed very hard on the bed, our bodies outstretched....and very passionately, our bodies remaining entangled...it was very natural. Then I fucked him hard and slowly and we both came...God...I feel very uncomfortable..don't ask me this stuff. Hope this is good enough. Jeesh!! Satisfied? LOL!
I don't know why I make you feel very uncomforted as a confidant. I thought we were friends. You tell all of those tech site men your sexual stories with your girlfriends of love and you used to tell all of us at all of the other sites and tell Dana and Frank and even tell Ajing who betrays you and insulted you and made homophobic and insulting statements about you. I read when you by an accidental sent me that link to the wrong poll what you told her and sexual things she made you tell her. You also told Megan before you were lovers all about many intimate and sexual details. What is wrong with me? What have I done that I cannot talk personal with you? I wish you felt comfortable sharing with me too.
:(
I have no interest to check that site so don't worry. I am not interested in what Sarah says about you...okay? Can't get caught up in this little drama...too damn busy. Please stop telling me about this unless it is a relevant point. I don't care much who plays games and I do not wish to know details. Okay?
Ellery...I have to be honest...I do not feel completely comfortable...or comfortable at all ...with discussing personal sexual situations with you. Do not take this personally. I feel a little inhibited as you are younger and you seem to have some residual affection for me. It makes me feel rather pervey going into detail with you. I don't
feel that connection to reveal my personal secrets...about something so very personal..please do not be offended. I must be honest. Apologies.
Michael, I wanted you to know that Sarah is spreading lies again about me on the EW site. Don't waste your time my darling reading there it will only upset you. If there is anything that pertains to you or us, I will tell you. She is making her troubling games again.
Can I call you at work later? I needed to talk to you. Michael, how is Jeff and how is Megan? Michael, who do you like making love to more? Who is the better lover for your needs? What is it like making love to them? I am curious to know. What things do they do that you enjoy? I won't ask about E anymore because I upset you.
hugs,
L
Ha ha...J is so cute. He loves to express himself 'behind the scenes' with his inferior taste in music. This latest song does not ring a bell...though J's music is never really familiar to me (with a few notable exceptions).
If he hasn't used his twitter since July it really doesn't matter whether they check it or not...I don't really care.
Michael,
I cut and paster this for you. I found it at MJ's on her private spot. They are reading Jeff's twitter again. They are talking about you at EW again too. Would you like the link?
blocked conversation sign-in
Sarah says
8/18/2011 at
Here it is Frank, do you no it?
encrypted twitter.com/-cached July 17, 11 8:37
When the days
are getting longer
and the people
come out at the street at night
I'll be among
The starry eyes
I'll be among
The wishful sighs
I'll be among
The fools, forever fantasizing...
When will I see you?
Summertime would be perfect
When will I see you?
It will be along summertime
When will I see you?
Endless nights of love could be ours
When will I see you?
Demand the impossible!
Everyone will be free
We'll walk down the avenue
Openly, openly....
What do you say Michael? Walk down the avenue with me, openly..miss me when I am away, be mine forever. Demand the impossible. XO
July 21, 11 10:09
I'm potent, baby, I'm potent
Just one swig of me would get most guys smashed
But a drop of you makes me stagger and swerve
I guess I'm outclassed...
Baby, I need a drop of you...now. Call me babe. I still love you.
_______________________________________
lolololol!!!! Didnt we hear these songs b4 from Jeff on his twitter Frank? One of them sounds familiar 2 me. It looks like in July Jeff was still in gushy love. The only thing he loves more then himself is Michael. lololololol!!!! Here's the ink to the twitter account
Wow--that's nice. I like to laugh and rarely hold in my emotions. I don't know if Liz misses my laugh...she misses me and she loves me, this I know. But sometimes that doesn't mean much in the scheme of things...yes?
I don't want to talk about her anymore so please don't bring her up. It is all for the best and things will turn out the way that they should. I think the only way I can stop hurting her is to be absent from her daily life. I interrupted her life and I don't know that it wasn't simply a selfish act. Enough of this. Done talking about it. Later...
Have her come out to be with you fi she wants that. You know she wants to be with you Michael, why would she not want this? and it makes me sad that she is crying and her heart yearns for you. I know how she feels. I bet that she misses your laugh. I know when I think about you I always think about your laugh how it looked and how it sounded, most especially. I remember the one time when I met you the first and last time, when we were in that cafe at Rockefeller and my friend Jen said a joking thing and you let out this bellow of laughter and your head and neck drew back and the sound was infectious. The look on your face was very divine and real and your eyes were laughing too. You were so happy and full of life! I will never forget it. I will bet to you that is what E misses. Let her be with you if she needs to. Don't fight it anymore dear man.
Hi L. I decided that I am not saying one way or the other whether that is indeed my Megan for the reasons you stated in your above post.
I am fine...thanks for asking. Yes...I have been in contact with Liz as she calls me often these days....not sure why. She is well. I miss her very much. She wants to come out to NY to be with me a bit..but it's a bad time and she has enough to worry about without adding me to her list. Besides..she is pretty pregnant and I worry about her taking longer flights given her past medical history while pregnant. She was sad...made me sad. She said she missed me...she was crying. God this is so fucking hard. Gotta go...
Michael, I am answering here from Frank's the post that you deleted after I read. So you are to say that she may not be the right Megan but you do not want Frank to know that or Sarah because if they think they have the wrong one they will keep on looking for her? So you will not to reveal to them that it might be the wrong Megan and they will not investigate anymore? You said it took them 4 chances to find E and that is true and they continued to be obsessed for a long time until they found her. I will check to see if they are still talking about her on MJ's and EW. How are you? Have you heard from E?
I will always support you. You are surrounded by so much love Michael. Everyone loves you and it is because of the person you are. Don't let the sad desperation of a selfish miserable person convince you different with her ignorant cut downs.
What friends are visiting and why? I respond to your message at Franks and thank you for that Michael. We have to be careful of Sarah who is looking for scoop.
I hope you can make lots of passionate love with Jeff tonight and he can whisk you away from your worries and leave them all behind. Come tomorrow, Megan can do the same. You are a lucky man, my friend. No man is a failure who has friends. That is from my favorite American old movie! I first saw it in London in 1998.
hugs,
L
xo
LOL! I am not on my death bed, L!.Please ignore Frank when he gets all dramatic like this. I really can't talk about it now...I do not like attention focused on my health...it stems from years of unwanted pity when I was a kid. Okay? I am fine.
I left you a message at Frank's regarding the other stuff. I don't know if it is still there or if you've read it. I really do not want to comment on exactly who the person is...just don't feel right about it. The hatred she has toward me I will never understand..I tried to get together with her, to meet her, as I thought this was what she wanted...but alas. I don't know what she ever wanted from me. She seems to disapprove of every aspect of me..no matter what I do...telling me I should do it different, not do this, do that, not be with this person...but be with that one..blah blah. Clearly she hates me and wishes me unhappiness...I just don't know why. It is no longer my problem and it has crossed the line..which sadly,means it is out of my hands. That's all I can say and I need to put this confusing experience, this aberration behind me.
J is home...but had to leave this evening to meet with his corporate people for a dinner. Haven't seen Megan in 2 days--since J arrived. She understands and has been very patient and supportive. I'll see her on Thursday. Have some other friends visiting this weekend ...and then my mom comes..so it has been busy. Thanks for your concern for me and your support. It is very sweet. Later...
Michael, I am so much confused now. I don't know who you are talking about. Is it Ajing again? Is she saying hateful and belittle things again and then to blame you for her nonsense and toddler behaviours? Ajing is so stupid and speaks like a dumb peasant that she is to think her games work with you because they have probably worked with so many stupid men she is to have been with her entire life. She is 3 divorced already according to people on the old polls and the people I talked to there. She cannot hold on to men because she is an evil maligner. Like what she said to me is so evil. She never met anyone like you and she thinks you are like the other uneducated and ignorant slackers she knows. I hate her so much . She is a rotted fish. If it is not her of whom you speak then I will apologize now up front so you will not be mad at me and I will allow you to defend her and offer my apology. Even ck told me she was not nice and deceitful and she said she lied. She is the one who sent you all of those messages that scared you away after season 8 Michael. ck told me.
Tell me on Frank's if you rather what the health problem is. Are you dying Michael? Are you sick or is it a hernia that needs to have surgery? I remember the years past when we talked and first met on line that you said you were a premie and had a lot of health problems as a baby and boy. Is your heart ailing again? I thought you said it was fine and just minor. What is the scare? I never know how to think because Frank makes a mountain from a bean hill out of everything. He talks of Jeff and skin cancer when you tell me it was a mole removal with suspected melanoma but was biopsy as good and not spread to cancer. Frank behaves as Jeff is to suffer from cancer and you just laugh and said it is not near that bad and that Jeff has no cancer, only a mole. Frank gets very excited Michael. I only want the truth. Jeff and Meg can take good care of you now. I love you.
hugs,
L
No need to be concerned. I am okay. I take life's bumps and blows as they come...I am happy and content. I am not hyper-focusing on my health concerns which will work themselves out one way or the other...but on larger life issues. Enough people are there for me and concerned abotu em that I can take the burden of worry off of myself. LOL! Right now...I am shedding myself of negative, hateful and dishonest people who masquerade as quite the opposite. One thing I respect about most people in general ...they know who they are--good or bad. It is the ones who think they are what they so badly want to be...but are wretched and ugly and hate-filled inside...and their live's decisions and their compounded isolation are evidence of that. Unfortunately, they damage the lives of the ones they love who are in their path by exposing them to their insidious and perpetual soul. These are the ones who search their entire lives for an answer--usually through some spiritual means...metaphysical source...to offer them artificial strength and temporary answers. They are convinced they are good and kind...because they can be these things too--when all the while they are only concerned with their own needs and the well being of themselves..over all else. They will convince themselves otherwise in their megalomaniacal state...in their narcissistic frenzy (and I mean that in a clinical sense) I feel so stupid and duped. And you can never convince these narcissistic people otherwise...they think they know who they are...but their inter-personal track records speak differently.
Please fill me soon Michael. I am worried and very curious. Sarah has been on Frank's all of the time now so will read there. We can go to MJs or to AIU if you feel unsafe here, but she looks at MJs too. What happened my friend? Why is Jeff flying back so abruptly?
hugs,
your L
I'm not worried about Sarah...she is harmless. I'll fill you in later...
I stayed away from here as you asked and now they are not talking about her anymore. Why are you not wanting to come here because of Sarah? Is she to lurk here too? We can go to e-mail or we can find another private spot from Sarah. You do not need to worry because they always are very nosey to look people up. Remember that in January they were obsessing over Dana's x and kept searching and posting pictures? And last time with Tanya and her husbands pictures in the carribean and they talked about how fat he was. They look up Jeff and found all of his interviews and his news pictures. They liked him because Frank said he was a hunk and Sarah said he was stuck up and thought he was handsome. It all stops when they satisfy their curiosity. They looked up Liz too and didn't do any damage Michael. They are jerks to do it but they are not going to expose it anywhere or start a problem. Megan is okay and she is not to fear from these dopes. You did not give confirmation if that is your Megan or the wrong one they found. If it is her she is very beautiful and looks like a nice person with a good family. I think she is good for you and she is very lucky to be dating you. I know your heart is breaking from E and you are depressing over her loss and the baby but it would be good to grow strong with a new person. I want your happiness and for you to feel contentment. Tell me how Jeff is and what are your plans with him. If you can't come here where should we go?
hugs,
L
Don't worry, L. Anything that Frank and Sarah are saying is pure conjecture...speculation. They don't know for sure, and even if they are correct, matters not. Ignore it. They dare try to contact her then I'll take issue...and even involve J and his legal team if necessary....So, I am not worried.
Michael!! I want to tell you here not to say it on Frank's that Frank and Sarah made hinting that they were going to another place to talk. I think it is because they know I am back from my holiday. I will check out to see where they are trashing you. I think it is about Megan because Sarah said to Frank "tell me about her at somewhere without the spy." I will look for their mean posts and I will guess that it is on EW or AIU.
All set...he restored the posts. Read and reply over there so I don;t have to cut and paste here.
Hmmmm...I'll check with Frank. I don't think he would play these games with me...I am pretty sure that he is always trying reorganize his blog and rearrange, etc. so probably has these and other posts relocated somewhere that he perceives to be a more relevant thread.
Jeffery won't be home for good until end of the month, at the earliest now. Elizabeth has been calling me and leaving me strange and unclear messages...making me call her back for really no reason. Stressful. Thank God I have megan to help me take my mind off of these issues and stressors....she is so cheery and upbeat and positive and she just tells me to relax and stay in the moment and makes me forget about the negative things and stay focused on the positive...she was there for me and is here for me..emotionally...I am beginning to think she was indeed a God send L...ha ha...you might be right for once.
They are not there Michael and I cannot find the posts I sent you. Is Frank playing the games or cleaning up again? I will try to find my replies too and resend them to you there.
Michael, do you like the song Jar of Hearts By Christina Perry? It is my favorite song.
xo and hugs,
L
Heeeey...answered you at Frank's...a few times. Did you get them?
Michael, I left you many messages at Frank's and I did not get a reply. Did you read them? By error I deleted them when I was to delete other messages on Frank's. I will post them again if you have not read them. Please let me know dearest.
hugs,
L
Ha ha...I'm fine. Never would have told you had you not specifically asked...do not worry. I am relatively certain it is an extension of a newer hernia protruding in that area...not uncommon. My internist has not felt enough of these I believe. Once i go to the Urology Oncologist...s/b all fine. I think when I have the ultrasound (and I've had plenty of those...) it will be clear and I won't even need to se the specialist. assuming this is another hernia...it is only the 2nd one as the once that had surgery twice...was the same hernia...was not properly repaired initially. I don't like to worry people...okay? Normally I would tell J this...but he is so stressed now and really cannot devote much attention to anything but his work. If he feels it during lovemaking...as Megan did...then I will let him know what's going on. But there is really no need to stress him now. I'll tell my mother once I get a definitive answer...but I also don't want her to be worried and call me and insist on coming out again. L, do I really need to explain to you how Megan discovered it? No...she was not looking for a lump there...LOL! She was not giving me a prostate exam or a testicular cancer check if that's what you were thinking. Use your imagination...she was pleasing me at the time she found it....we'll leave it at that.
Bro and I cannot leave to see J until sunday night. J has an all day off-site meeting on Sunday (of all days...) and I figured I'd stay here tomorrow...get some work done and then depart at night when he will be at his hotel. Then we have to leave very early Tuesday morning as I have a few work meetings later in the day. It will be a quick trip. Daniel is very excited to see him.
Hi Michael, I am once again very worrisome for you. Is your heart okay still and is the lump a cancer tumor or do you believe it be be herniated? I am glad that Frank made mention to this so I could know to ask you. I could not sleep last night. Thank you for opening to me. When are you to visit Jeff? When is your test on the lump? It is good that Megan discovered it or you might not know. Michael I don't understand how she could find it in that place by an accident. What made her suspect it and find it? Help me to understand this please. Do not be of concern I will not tell that witch Sarah so she can laugh about it. You should not tell that other witch you know too because she will do the same thing and tell everyone on Rickey's and post it all over the place. If you are still to talk to her after how bad she treats you. You know not to trust her too and I hope since you are smart you understand now.
A bachelorette party is for girls only. I know you would like to party and meet pretty girls and be the only man there! You are very funny and I miss your humorous.
Don't be concerning about the lump because I had the same fear for a breast lump and it was tissue and okay as you suspect that it was. It will be fine but please tell me results so I am not worried sick for you. Love you.
hugs,
L
Yes you are very tiny and petite...like many Asian women. I am glad you enjoyed your trip--traveling is good for the soul and I must begin to do more of it. Iw as such a world traveler as a child and young adult...but with work and the toll the traveling took on me...I am a bit averse to it now. Besides...Daniel dislikes traveling so I try to only go when necessary.This guy really altered my life...but he's well worth it.
Not sure if it is another hernia...I believe it is. there is no pain so if it is a simple hernia...I'll put off the surgery until it becomes imminent. My last hernia was in my groinal area as well, inguinal hernia...though not in the testicular region as this one is. I saw my doctor about it...and he thinks it may very well not be a hernia but a testicular lump. I am hoping he is wrong as that very well could mean testicular cancer..in fact, the odds are f this is not a hernia...it is probably not good. At the time the first hernia was discovered...they were worried that it was a lump too low to be even this type of a hernia...but it was. When I told my doctor about this he said this one is different...it is hard and solid and not 'moveable'. He said I needed to have an ultrasound of my testicle (oh fun!) next week and then meet with a specialist ASAP. This is all I need...LOL! I really think it is a hernia and they are worried over nothing. Megan found the lump on me and said "there is a weird lump in your ball" (way to kill a mood...) ..I said "yeah...it's called a ball" and she said no..a different one..it feels funny." So I felt it and agreed and assumed it was another hernia. Please do;t tell sArah..all I need is her making ball jokes about me..that might piss me off. I think Frank knows better--I hope--than to tell her about this. I realize he mentioned the hernia..but if he told her about this lump being something more..possibly..I'd be angry with him. Worst case...I get one ball removed. That would suck...but I could deal...and then I may have to live the rest of my life on boner pills...LOL! Well, guess it's all part of getting older.
Let me know the dates when you will be in NY for your bachelorette party...can dudes come...ooh...I might like going to that party...LOL!
Hi Michael!!! I am back and have very much missed chatting with you on Frank's and here. I want you to know that Frank and Sarah have been talking about you a very much amount because they think I was not there. Frank says that you have a hernia again. Is this a true account Michael? How come you have so many of these?
Michael, I am so happy and you do not have a clue to how much that we will be together again come October! It will be nice to see your face and your kind eyes and smile again. How I have missed them. The wedding is on 8 October. I do not know what the bachelorette party date is but it is before the wedding date. I will tell you when it is known to me. I can come out some days early to visit NY if you want me to and spend time to say hello. The wedding is on Long Island but the bachelorette party and rehearsing dinner are in Manhattan! Isn't this fortunate? I will plan when you tell me that it is still good. Roger is unsure if he can come to the wedding with his new position, but I hope he will.
Roger is taking me out again on this weekend for my birthday. I thought Hawaii was my birthday present but he said that a real gift has to be given on my birthday. I thought that was nice to express to me. He can be thoughtful, as you always are to me. I still feel 16 and do not feel like I am getting any older. Roger said to me that I still look 16 too! Nobody will guess that I am well into my twenties! In Hawaii someone at our lodging asked me if I was accompanied by my parents in the hotel! Do I look that little to you? I am so very petite and delicate that it misleads some people Michael!
Miss and love you! I am to go to sleep a nap now!
L,
No...not cross at you. Go spend some time with Roger be fore you leave. Okay? We'll talk later. Okay?
Michael, you seem cross with me. I didn't mean to sound inflammatory and divisive. I believe life begins at conception and if I can talk to a person and save one unborn child his life then it makes it worth it for me.I am in fear that you will get Megan pregnant and since you don't have a problem with abortion and Megan might not too that this would happen again and you would be devistate . I am sorry Michael I should mind by own business. Forgive my ignorance.
Well...thanks for praying for me..not sure it's going to do any good...but knock yourself out! Not to worry about Megan getting pregnant, we have it covered..thanks anyway. You may want to dispense with such highly inflammatory, judgmental and divisive language as "you don't want to kill another innocent life." Firstly, it's not nice and only serves to make me feel badly; secondly, it sounds fanatical and crazy similar to language used by the anti-chocie 'operation rescue' nut case zealots. Thirdly, I don't need your two cents on this so mind your own damn business. :)
Frank and Sarah must be pretty bored to focus their short attention spans on me and my life. Not much interesting happening with me now...everything is status quo. Perhaps Frank is reading me on the tech site and gossiping about Jeffery. I was just over on Frank's site and not much going on there...As far as what they are discussing re: me...I'm not sure and I don't really care...but thanks for letting me know. :)
Have a good night.
Now you have made my day! I am so excited to see you again in the fleshly body in October! Roger might come unless he has to work. That is not important because we are the friends and Roger is not your friend. I will let you know about the facts when I get them!
Michael I do not think it was a necessity to say that about Megan's pussy and God. You will go to hell if you keep this up! You are very fortunate that I pray for you and do so every night. I say my prayers to God and mention many people for him to watch over and you are one. Let us hope that God thinks I am worthy enough that he will allow you to pass through the gates of heaven in spite of your blasphemy! Megan sounds like a very good girl for you to be with. It is good that you will be seeing Jeff next week. You must very much miss him now. Michael you need to make sure that Megan does not become pregnant. I think having two pregnant girlfriends at once would not be good for you. Megan is young and so many young girls have abortions and that would be wrong. You don't want to kill another innocent life Michael.
I will see what Frank and Sarah are up to again. I think they know I was at Frank's because at one point on the chat viewing I must have logged in and Sarah said "Ellery, is that you?" and I quickly did a disconnect. They may be stealth now to avoid me. I am leaving soon for my early dinner. I am so excited about finally seeing you again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Ellery,
Glad you are enjoying yourself. Sure.... if you will be out in NYC anyway in October, come visit..let me know. Not sure what will be going on that month for certain so give me plenty of notice...and choices for a dinner. I am assuming that Roger is coming with you since it's a wedding?
J is fine...seeing him next week. Megan is great...we are getting along swimmingly. Baby fine as is Liz. Life isn't too shabby. Having Megan around has been doing wonders for my mood. She is selfless and eager to please ...I am enjoying her very much. She is a good person. Next time you talk to God thanks him for sending me Megan's pussy...I appreciate it..LOL! I will surely burn in hell for that one!
Not sure what Frank and Sarah could be talking about...whatever....
Where are you my friend? I miss you and am to worry that you do not reply! I will send a message at Franks after I post this. I am leaving to return home in 2 days from this day. This place is so beautiful and I will always remember it for my life! Roger has been very sweet and indulgent of me this holiday.
Update me on your life my friend! How is Jeff? Is E and your baby still healthy? How is your new girl Megan? Has she fallen in love yet? If no then it will be soon. She does not know what she has Michael. I think you and Megan might be together a long time. This is how things happen. You are in love and then the relations does not work and you have depression in your life from love lost and then a new person enters. This is what happened with Roger too Michael. Megan she maybe came to rescue you and was sent by God as an angel just for you. The stressing from Jeff and E becomes unbearable and then the Lord works in strange ways to bring you peace and happiness with another soul.
Michael I want you to know that on Franks that Sarah and Frank are talking about you again. They think I am not to check there while on holiday. They are wrong. Do you want to know the mean things that they say?
I miss you!!!!!!!!
I miss you so much Michael and have been thinking of how much I would love to go to a place like this with you. Do you miss me Michael? I am for sure going to New York in October so you must let me visit then! My friend who lives there is having her bachelorette party and I am to be in her wedding too. The wedding is in Long Island but the bachelorette party in New York the City. Do not say no this time since I will be there anyway. I will only make sure to have a dinner or drinks one evening with you. Miss you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes...I believe that Jeffery will come around. He is a happy person and has a hard time staying angry at anyone, especially me. He doesn't hold grudges. He is stressed, tired and dealing with a lot professionally, emotionally and health wise. I have faith he will come around.
Perhaps the "medic" thought to be conservative so Roger would not suffer long term damage. So Roger yelled at the hotel manager because their medical person misjudged? Sounds like he was just trying to do his job. Hope Roger's over-reaction was worth a free dinner.
Enjoy the remainder of your trip.
M
Michael!!! I am so happy to hear from you finals! You sound very great and I am happy that Megan is making you feel good. Jeff will come around because he can't help it he loves you so much. Who can blame him too Michael.
We are going to Mawi tomorrow and today we had a fun time to see the sites on these islands. I could live here except for Honolulu which is very busy like Los Angeles! It is very romantic but I have not received a proposal. I am happy for that because I do not feel ready to accept. Michael, will you ever get married? You would make a very good husband and never cheat like most men do. How is your "didi" doing? Is he in good health? Roger cut his foot on a rock yesterday and it is bleeding so much. We went to the hotel medic who said he needed stitching. When we got to the hospital and waited 2 hours to see the Doctor he said there was no stitching required. We were very mad that we wasted all those vacation hours. Roger took to yelling at the hotel management so they gave us a free dinner for tonight. I feel very lucky.
I miss you very much my dear man. I will try to check later tonight. I checked Frank's and replied to that message today.
Love and hugs,
L
Thanks for the messages here and at Frank's...but you should focus on your holiday away and on Roger, not me. Wait until you return to share your experience..okay? J and I are fine. Intact...though probably in need of a good talk soon, once he is less stressed. He looked very tired and I was concerned about him....but he showed plenty of energy ...if you know what I mean.
Yes my "lovemaking" with Megan was very nice, soft and gentle....I am in great need of affection lately and she has been happy to provide it. I just love the way she rests her head on my shoulder and chest and clasps her arms around my bicep...when we are sitting together or walking...it is very sweet and makes me feel as if someone really cares for me and feels protected by me...I like that. I don't get that from dudes, certainly not J...he always makes me feel like I am not doing enoughLOL!
Enjoy the time away. Later...
Hi Michael! It's Ellery! I am sneaking to say hello. I hope you and Jeff are made up and that you are enjoying your time with him. It is beautiful here like a paradise! I hope to sneak in later when I have the time. I will sneak in at Frank's too. I miss talking to you so much!I think Roger might think to ask for my hand during our vacation because he asked me if I thought this was a romantic setting and if I feel inspired to be with him forever. I said yes to both but now am not sure. Men are so much of a pushy nature when they want something, except for you Michael. You are never pushy like that about things.
I am leaving today in the afternoon. I am tired from finish packing until 2:00 am. I had 4 hours of sleep only, like you Michael! I am so curious about these songs, you must share!
How was your lovemaking with Megan after work yesterday? Were you able to get work done thinking about it. did you make love or just go our for dinner and a date? There is always time for that next week so if you missed out not to despair dear man! How do you feel about her Michael? Please open up to me more because I am so supportive and love to hear about your life. Let me in more. How is Liz and your baby? When is Jeff coming home, is it tonight? you have a very busy love life Michael! You may have to be like God and rest on the seventh day!
Will miss you.
Ignore Frank. I do.
Polymer Chem is easy if you are the engineering type...do not believe you are. I'd start with Adv Inorganic Chem as long as this is not your first introduction to the topic.
Well, we had some "songs" back 9 years ago when we were together. Not one single one that stands out, a few...until she reminded me of one recently that back then I shared w/ her that it reminded me of 'us'. She disagreed. However, recently she reminded me of this song title again (that I had told her when we first dated years ago reminded me of 'us'. ) The song resonates even more now and seems to be more about how I see 'us', with all of my self deprecation....the lyric is even more closely aligned with her...with us now. Not sure I can share it for fear I might confuse you with the meaning/interpretation. It's not very deep, mind you...not at all. It's a very uncomplicated Radiohead Song that I first heard in grad school when it was popular. I never listened to modern music until HS and college...and really never got that into it. Liz and I liked classical, but modern as well. I completely stopped listening to music on the radio...anything modern...after Liz and I broke up the first time. J has resurged modern music for me...though his taste leaves something to be desired. He likes things like...90's pop boy bands. LOL! Guess he likes some good stuff too. Doubt he ever heard of Radiohead. Just not his genre (Indy stuff). Anyway...doubt one would ever guess that this song reminds me of Liz...of us. again..it's simple and not deep.
There's another song that reminds me of Liz...us ...but it reminds me of the tragic loss of her and what happened back then so I try not to listen to it. It's a pretty song...but hits too close to home so I prefer not to reveal that one either. The weird thing is..I keep hearing that song pop up at the weirdest times. I heard it recently the day before she left for Amstrd when I was on hold during a phone call with Apple Comp it was one of the songs playing as my hold music...no kidding. So odd.
ALOHA!
Frank tries to make like Nils is your lover and that Nils is in love with you but that you are too oblivious to realise this. I believe your version Michael.
We are leaving tomorrow. I am so excited because it has been months since the time I have traveled.
Michael would you recommend Advanced inorganic Chem or Polymer Chem for first semester? Which would be easier?I want my first semester less stressful since I am jumping in after no school for 4 years.
What about songs? Which remind you of E? Do you two have your own special song? Did you ever?
Ellery,
J is fine health-wise. The 'melanoma' was superficial and was determined to be basal cell carcinoma and ill likely not return.
J and I will be fine. We are best friends first and foremost, so our differences, when we have them, are usually able to be rectified. He is a bit frosted over a couple of things: 1. I nearly (accidentally via neglect) killed his precious dog. 2. We had a discussion, over the phone, regarding a 'friend' of his visiting in DC...I suggested to J that so long as he was careful and used protection, he should feel free to have relations with this dude. The conversation went on for a while and J was very offended for some (what I thought to be innocuous) things I said . It's hard to explain and it is a long story. I just can't get into now. There is a lot of background about this kid ..this dude..
Nils and I are buddies...nothing more. I never invited him to see me in NYC. He was coming out for a medical conference and asked if I'd like to get together for a bit or to hang out. I said yes (he knows about J and about Liz and all about my complex life). He came a couple of days early for site seeing, etc. J was here too. Nils tried just one time to kiss me on the lips...I let him to a quick peck and then said "not gonna happen, dude." He responded "yeah, I know" or something like that. That was it. He has a serious boyfriend himself and he met J so I am sure he figured after meeting J I would not really be interested in him....and as J said "can't blame him for trying." LOL! Nils is a good guy.
Is there a song that reminds you of E? Do the two of you have "a song"? I know Jeff dedicates so many love songs to you and opens you to music. Does E? I try to have a a song with Roger but he says they are all too pop. He hates Beyonce and I love her. He says modern music sucks, but I love it!
I left you a long message at Frank's and you did not replied. You can read it still Michael because it is all there. I am leaving tomorrow for my trip. I will try to get on all of my sites while on holiday. Roger will be doing work these days because he is fallen behind. I will have free time to relax myself. I will catch up on e-mail and with my old friends from Singapore and GB.
Enjoy the time with Jeff. I hope that you both can mend your differences and get along well again. I think you are both under stressing for opposite reasons and it brings out worse case in many people. How can anyone stay mad at you Michael.? All you have to do is look at them with those eyes and they must melt. I know that you don't hold grudges so why should he too? He does not have the right to be mad at you Michael. He just loves you too much and that it always a disaster of a recipe when one wants more than the other. I don't think Jeff is use to be denied what he wants. I respect you for sticking by your gunstocks and being the true person that you are and your honest approach to all accusations. His melanoma is stress to him too and he thinks that being without you is also more hard to bear. What happened with this California man? I know you must share on the tech site with the gay crowd because Frank knows something and is being secretive. Frank keeps saying to Sarah how Nils has a large crusher on you and that you are too in denial to see it but that they all know it. Is he the one who visited you and is he handsome Michael? Why did you let Nils visit you and not me?
Yes...she is very nice, happy, positive, patient. Very honest. I promised her I would see her before J comes home. Once he is here.... I feel I need to spend my full days and nights with him as he has been away for so long...and he is very stressed...and because we have had a few minor bumps lately in on our relationship. Besides...I really miss him :( I told her I would be over her place right after work on Thursday (Thursday bro's caretaker is picking him up from work and taking him out). I'll have a couple of spare hours. I told her we could have dinner too...so long as we order in :D
How can you be sure that is her on that poll? Don't assume. Whoever it is...her or someone else...ignore the baiting please. I don't feel like dealing with this childish back and forth anymore. If you don't respond, she cannot antagonize you. Right?
Michael, She sounds nice. I am so of envy of her because she has guts and courage and I do not. I have feelings it will pay off in the end for her. Is she okay that Jeff is coming home the weekend or sad not to be with you? Are you making love to her today like she asked?
Michael I think that Quiet is leaving me confused messages at that twitter poll again pretend to be someone else. I thought you said you were sure that she would not do this and you even scolded me to stop. I have but she seem to want to taunt me. She is pretend to be another person to drive me crazy. I won't fall for her cruel and childish games this time. Why can't she stick with her maniac boyfriend and leave us alone? Has not she caused you enough pain?
She has said enough meanness to me to last 10 lifetimes.
Forgot to mention...I had said to Megan : "Are you sure you want to get involved, on any level, with an emotionally unavailable bisexual man who impregnated his now married x-girlfirend and is about to become a father, while living with his gay lover?" And she said "well, that's a mouthful...but I'm up for the challenge!" and she kissed me on the cheek. Well, maybe I'm a sucker for a good comeback or maybe I'm just too damn lonely...but it meant something to me.
Ha ha...Megan is very pretty, too pretty to be with me, that I can assure you. She is a good egg and I like her very much. She is not all up tight, and is similar to Liz and Ana in that she is very low key and positive about everything and doesn't look for answers up front, or premature expectations, or stress me out with focusing on her own needs and fears... or attempt to satisfy only her needs. She took a chance on me, and I offered her very little. I respect that. I told her a few weeks ago thatI would not have sexual intercourse with her because of J (though J is not having issues with my seeing females) and still my uncertainties...back ten...about Liz, even tough she was back with hubby. She was okay with it. She said that maybe she could just be there for me. Then when I saw Liz in Lon and I realized that all the love was still there between us , very strong, but she was also still in her marriage, very much...I welcomed someone else in a little. I told Megan that she needed to realize these things: I love a women very much and she is about to have my baby, God willing, very soon. I also love a man and he is intertwined in my daily life, quite tightly. There is no real chance at true love now...I can only spend some time with her and be with her in that moment. She paused and said "well, that's a lot for a girl to accept from a guy. But let's just hang out and take it day by day. No expectations. Let's just keep each other company for now and let me try to make you smile a little more often." Lunch meeting. Later...
I am leaving Friday but I hope to talk because I will take my LT with me! How is everything with you? I saw you at Frank's this morning, but you disappeared so quickly that I could not chat! Will you be back? How are things with Megan Fox? That is what Frank and Sarah call her now so I think she must be very beautiful. When is Jeff to be home and what will you tell Megan?
Roger is feeling better now but he is behind at work from sickness and now he will bring his portfolio to Hawaii so I will not get all of his attention! He is a workoholic like you.
That's really nice of you to say. Thank you. I needed that. :)
I think you are sad and depressed and miss E and miss J and you are falling for her. You are so romantic and warm even though you pretend you are not. She loves you and that is why she is resting her head on you. you make her feel safe and secure like you make me feel. I will guess that she already loves you and it is because you are so deserving. you are very lovable Michael. She will be all the better for it even of her love goes unreturned, I know I am.
Hi L,
Megan is newly turned 30. Frank is nosey and I am sure I dropped some things about her employer and her position and Frank is a good sleuth. Her photo is on the internet under her employer profile where she is an associate. She is very pretty...this is how I first noticed her. She was in an after work night spot so I was staring at her for a very long time and she walked over to me. I was quite uninhibited and am rather shocked she showed me any interest at all. She is much too attractive for me...which is par for the course!
Gigi is Liz...I think you told me that.Right? Perhaps you forgot.
J coming home this weekend. Not sure what to expect. I told Megan that he was coming home probably late Fri through Sunday. She then said "Can we please make love one more time before he comes home? It can be anything you want to do. " My kind of gal! LOL! I am really liking this girl...she knows me and my desires....
She came by my work today and brought me this japanese red bean pasty. It happens to be my favorite dessert...and we were talking about it the other day and she said she knew the best place in the City for these pastries which are pretty hard to find. She surprised me at work...which normally I do not like. this time it was oaky :) She called my phone and said "Don't be mad at me...I will leave something at the front lobby at the receptionist for you." I said "Where are you?" She replied "at your building, but I'm leaving now." I said "don't leave...I'll be right down." When I saw her she handed me the box--yummy! I told her we'd go for a quick walk around the block (it was so sweet of her to bring them by thatI thought I should, at least, spend a bit of time with her). She is so cute...as we were walking, she clutched onto my arm and linked it with hers and rested her lovely head on my right shoulder and chest area as we strolled. I like when she does this.
My internet is acting very funny again and going in and out. I don't know if it will go down again later. It is not posting what I wrote before so I think there is a delay. I hope these messages make it through to you.
hugs and love,
L
Michael, my computer was down all night last night. Our carrier just repaired the internet this morning. I left you 2messages at Frank's that you need to read. Sarah and Frank are not on the EW anymore because I think they said all that was needed. I will check it for you now and then and let you know if they trashing you more. I was chatting with Frank, sarah, Dana and T yesterday before my internet went down and it was apparently to me that Frank looked up your new girlfriend Megan's information. You mention that she worked for a large national financial company and mentioning it was near your work and some other clues you dropped without realizing. You mention her position in that company so Frank is smart and can solve these puzzles. He comment on how pretty she is and that she looks younger than 30. Michael, I though she was twenties. So I think Frank searched her unless you were too dumb and gave him her last name. He said he knows now what the attraction is to Megan "Michel is no exception to the american males penchant for competitive gene disbursement , he likes beautiful women." It was obviously to me that he saw how she looks. you should not give him any more clues. He is very good at this. Then Sarah said "Mike is lucky to get laid by these hotties like Megan, Jeff and Gigi, he better appreciate it." Then she did that awful---- lololololololol!! Micheal, who is Gigi? Is that another girl?
Roger has a strep throat so he is on antibiotics and we need him better before we go to Hawaii! Please check in because I miss you
Michael, my computer was down all night last night. Our carrier just repaired the internet this morning. I left you 2messages at Frank's that you need to read. Sarah and Frank are not on the EW anymore because I think they said all that was needed. I will check it for you now and then and let you know if they trashing you more. I was chatting with Frank, sarah, Dana and T yesterday before my internet went down and it was apparently to me that Frank looked up your new girlfriend Megan's information. You mention that she worked for a large national financial company and mentioning it was near your work and some other clues you dropped without realizing. You mention her position in that company so Frank is smart and can solve these puzzles. He comment on how pretty she is and that she looks younger than 30. Michael, I though she was twenties. So I think Frank searched her unless you were too dumb and gave him her last name. He said he knows now what the attraction is to Megan "Michel is no exception tot he american males penchant for competitive gene disbursement , he likes beautiful women." It was obviously to me that he saw how she looks. you should not give him any more clues. He is very good at this. Then Sarah said "Mike is lucky to get laid by these hotties like Megan, Jeff and Gigi, he better appreciate it." Then she did that awful---- lololololololol!! Micheal, who is Gigi? Is that another girl?
Roger has a strep throat so he is on antibiotics and we need him better before we go to Hawaii! Please check in because I miss you
Very astute analytical observation. Am impressed. A+
BTW...your last paragraph is a crock of poop so I will ignore it and not add it into your GPA as it will drag it down to a low C. And I don't grade inflate. :D
I like what you said and I like how you are so intellectual that you provide literary quotations that can be understood by all cultures to accentuate and illustration your point. I am of guilt for not being accepting of a friends behaviours whom I know to be true and decent human. For that I am sorry and beg for forgiveness. I judge and when you tell me I do that you are most correct. It is learning the ways of American culture compared to my insulated and protected culture. Do you forgive me?
Michael, I thought about you for a long time last night when I had insomnia. I began a new medication and it keeps me focused off depression but makes me not able to sleep. I think I have to switch it. I was awake and thought very long about you. I thought about all of the love you have in your life, but none of it is set or fixed, it seems to always be obscure and indefinite. Michael, do you wish it this way? What is Michael looking for from his pursuits of love? If you wanted to be with Jeff you know he is yours. If you wanted to be with E she is yours, but you doubt these things. I think you are looking for someone to set you apart, take you away and refocus your emotions away from a man because you see no future in loving a man only and away from the pains and the memories of your love of life E who represents the suffering and fear in you and who will stay with her husband only to avoid hurt. Your fear of hurting her has driven you apart. Megan is there and has presented you with an alternative to indecision and pain. You were looking for someone to save you Michael. For a long time I wish it was me who could fill that space in you, to come to your rescue. I know that it will never be and you have made it clearing and you have made me appreciate Roger. You search for someone and it is a person for you. It was Ana at one time and maybe now Megan. Michael, I understand and I know you will never be alone. I will not be surprised if Megan is the ultimate one who saves you from this and you are to be with her. You are looking for someone and I feel it.
Do not be angry with me for this, I want to say one more thing and this is not what I was getting at and it is an aside from my earlier expressed statements, but maybe the search is for God? Have you considered that?
No problem. I understand the confusion when one tries to grasp something such as another's penchant, or an idea or concept that appears out of the ordinary. I always remember Oscar Wilde's quote that brings me greater understanding, or solace (depending on the situation): "Nothing human in alien to me." I try to live by that...and in fairness, Wilde stole it from the Roman playwright Terence (whom preceded him in life by 2000 years ). Original quote is: "Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto"....How's your Latin these days? LOL! Rough translation: "I am a man, I consider nothing that is human alien to me."
The quote's a lot cooler though when it is attributed to Wilde.
Thank you Michael for explaining. It is all so new to me. I don't know how I feel about this but it is your business and not mine to judge. Sometimes when Roger and I do lovemaking we adventure to new areas but it usually involves oral sex or different positions never attempted. I love you for always being so honest. You are such a real man who is brave and not afraid to stick up for ideals and free will. I am sorry that you don't like to hear this, but I love you very much for the person you are. You are so different and so ahead of your time. you will take the time to explain something with such honesty knowing it is something that I find uncomfortable yet you still have the courage to speak the truth of your actions. I love this about you and I love so very many things about you Michael. Jeff and E and any other person who gets to be with you is the luckiest in this life. E is having your baby and I envy that. I dream of spending time with you again. you are very special. You always make me feel safe and okay with everything. It is a gift that you have.
Love and hugs,
L
LOL! Relax Ellery...I am not some dangerous pervert. Trust me, Okay? People become sexually aroused from different stimulants. Males tend to be more visual than females and I am no exception...in fact, I am highly visual. Yes....I am a person who "beats off to porn" and quite often. I never partake in my fetish unless the female is completely willing...it holds no appeal to me unless I know the women is at least aroused by my desire..if not by her own. I am not into bondage nor am I into pain, spanking, deviant behaviors such as S&M or degrading my partner. I suggest to my partner, quietly, what I would like to see her do... and if the woman agrees, I become very aroused. It is safe and there needs to be trust...therefore, I always know and trust someone before I can become sexual in this way with them. This is not all I do...I like the 'normal' stuff..intercourse etc. And these things are incorporated into my lovemaking. I would never hurt anyone...ever...that holds no appeal for me and would not arouse me. I do not force women to defile themselves. Watching a women submit to me under duress holds no appeal...having a woman disrespect her body (if SHE views it that way...I certainly do not) against her wishes holds no appeal whatsoever. I ask them to do things like masturbate for me while I watch and observe very ,very close up (bird's eye view). I ask them to do specific things like insert their fingers use a dildo...use 2 dildos...lick their fingers, etc. I am sorry if you find this disgusting...you have that right. I am telling you because I know you seemed disturbed. Yes...I do "normal lovemaking" and enjoy it very much. The last time I aw Liz we made love quite spontaneously...with no foreplay to speak of...straight intercourse only. It was very erotic and I enjoyed it immensely. I hope this provides a better understanding.
No...J and I do not do this. I only enjoy this with women...with men Ia m much more straight forward. J and I are on equal footing sexually.
I find this all very weirded Michael. You seem and look so sexy and so normal and are too handsome to be a perverted man. Why do you need to look and leer at naked vaginas and bodies? You are to sound like what Sarah has said many times a dirty old man. Why do you want to make the girl do things to herself and just watch that seems like a person who beats off to porn or something. Or to beat off from looking at a girl defile herself does not sound sexy. I don't know Michael and I am having a hard time understanding this. You don't spank or tie up do you? You don't pull hair or hurt them I hope. Please be honest for me. I should have a clue because there were signs I think. Do you do normal lovemaking too? Do you do the same things with men? Does Jeff pose and masturbate and do the things for you to order him to do?
No Ellery, it's true. What Frank says is entirely true and I've never tried to hide it. I don't like to think of myself as having deep, dark secrets...but I suppose I do...like most people. LOL!
The women I get along with best and the women I have spent time with and have had successful relationships with were all submissives...all of them. Many outside of the bedroom as well...docile, agreeable and consensual. Most have not been in that sexually submissive role before me. Bea was submissive sexually, bit not socially. LOL! She was a 'submissive alpha female.' this may be in part, while we did not last. Sorry to disappoint you...but 'tis all true.
The reason you and I didn't partake in this fetish is because you rather chased after me and got undressed yourself and pursued me...quite doggedly that evening...and I finally relented to your feminine wiles. Remember?
Was supposed to be at the HP movie with bro right now...but he is still so pissed off at me for not getting tix last evening (was sold out) that he is not talking to me. He went over to our neighbor and invited him to go (an elderly man) so I gave bro my ticket to give him.
There is no reasons to beat up on me when I was trying to help you. Are you trying to make me depressed and cry for some pervert reasons that you get off? I think that you waste your time with people who are your inferiors and not your equals, but I won't speak of this again or you will become upsetting again.
Frank and Sarah are spreading lies about you on EW and saying you are a sexual pervert who likes submissive girls who you can control and have them do things that are perverse and unnatural. Frank started it but is not insulting you as Sarah is and he is saying that you have odd fetishes and you like to always have girls stripped naked and you stare at them and only want submissive girls. I think you should go on there and respond and tell them to stop spreading lies and hate! You never did the submission to me so I think they don't
know what they are talking about.
Okay....Megan is "young and pretty"...feel better? But you were not talking abut Megan now, were you? I think you were indirectly referencing yourself. Funny you say I should be more confident because I can get young pretty girls easily. LOL! I have never been accused of lacking self confidence! The reason why I tend toward women who are closer to my age is because they tend to be into the same things that I am...they are more experienced and hence more sexually aware and open-minded. Okay? Can you give this a rest now.
The women whom I choose to be with are with me for the same reason...and none of it is superficial. Let's just leave it at that. Not mad at you...but you could benefit from a bit of tact. You are young...you will learn. Not mad...okay?
I don't understand. What did I do? I was being honest and telling you that you should have more confidence and you can get young pretty girls easily Michael. You don't need somebody's throwaways. I was praising you and not criticizing you! I feel now that I cannot do anything right and it makes me feel very daft.
LOL! Ellery, your mother is safe from me...not to worry...I will not attempt to seduce her.
I did not feel you were judging me...but judging a particular segment of the female population. Not nice.
Michael, I am sorry to be out of line with my comments. It is your business if you prefer the company of old ladies. You are handsome and sex appealing that I thought with your energies you are better with a vibrant and beautiful young girl. Michael, you would not like my mother she is plumpy and not very female to look at. She does not look like me and is not pretty or petite as I am, and I am happy I do not resemble her physical traits. You would not be interested in my mother and you must take my word! She dresses like a manly fashion too. I will not judge you anymore. I did not think I was judging you but complimenting you. I am sorry that I keep making bad mistakes because I care so much for you. You are the nicest man I have ever known.
Frank and Sarah are to be found at EW recap: Crystal Clearly. It took me many hours to find those rats. They are dising you, but Frank is behaving.
Well, that depends how sexy your mom is, how intelligent and interesting she is...if she is open-minded, honest and trustworthy and whether she has a keen sense of humor. Being pretty with some awesome curves helps too...but is not essential. So, maybe even your mother would be a better match for me than you are. Don't judge, it sucks.
I am sorry Michael I just thought that you are better suited with a woman who is young and fun like you. I know that E is not that old yet but Bea is the same age as my mother and it is hard for me to think of you dating my mother. What you had said about E she seemed like a homebody who just reads and plays a violin and likes boring mundane things and that is not you, Michael! You are 25 at heart! That is all I was saying. Since Megan is 10 years younger than you I think that is more suited to your interest and tastes as a man. I was insulting and so I offer my redress.
hugs,
L
ELizabeth is very progressive and just about the most inclusive and socially liberal person I have ever met. She doesn't just 'talk the talk' like most people who claim to be progressive thinkers. She is very 'bohemian', and by that I mean she has varied artistic, literary and world interests and disregards conventional standard of behavior based on this. She is, however, at the same time very sophisticated in her tastes and pursuits. She is not an "old fuddy-duddy". She is the most inclusive and broad minded person I know. Bea is very lively and "vibrant"....funny how you would refer to both of these very different, yet very forward-thinking women as "old, backward" thinking....they are anything but....and this is what I love most about both of them.
Old means too old for me? Are you to say again you are getting old and that you are too old for me. I like mature and experience men and I like men who are charisma Michael. You don't give me a chance. You are right and I love Roger. Knowing you are out there makes that hard. If I never met you, Roger would be my engaged prospect by this time. I understand that it is not meant to be. It hurts to know this, but I can cope. Friends is better than never met you and not knowing you, so I will take friendship then!
I think you pick the wrong women especially they are too old for you. Megan is younger and a better match than Bea or E with their old set ways of former generations. You are vibrant and forward thinking. Old backwards women are no good for you Michael. I know that E is not that old but she seems sedate and not modern and chic which is your desire.
You are correct, I care not what they say about me. If Frank starts deriding Jeffery again, unprompted, for no reason ..I shall take issue...otherwise, let them play their games.
No reason to be jealous...Megan and I are just having fun and she is keeping me company. She is very convenient right now and she was here for me when I needed someone. Besides...I am not a good person with whom to be involved. Roger is awesome...he is loyal and committed to you. Imperfect? Yes, but he is a decent man, a good wage earner, learned and cultivated. No reason to look elsewhere...especially where there is little or no potential. But this I mean.... if I wanted you with me I would have thrown out the invitation long ago. Okay?
Am in such pain! Pulled a hamstring running...I am getting old! Need to take it easy. Man it hurts!!
Michael, Sarah and Frank are at it again talking about you. I don't know where but I'll look at the suspicious places. I can tell because they say certain things then say go back to our old discussion where we can elaborate. I know you are to say you don't care, but I do care. Be careful what you say on that computer technical site because it is all coming back to Sarah and Dana. Unless you want the world to know. How was Megan last night? I admit that I am very jealous Michael! I am getting that I am not really your type of girl, but I can dream as you like to say!
I think it was July 7 when you told us at Frank's that you were to meet a friend for lunch and I think you said it was a woman. I was to think at that time you were talking about Megan. But it was lunch and more!! So that was when you and Megan did the bad deed! You are being so much forth to come with detailing now Michael! I am chatting with Dana and Tanny on Frank's now so come to join us. They are all watching America got Talent, but I am not. Are you Michael? Let us finish our talk over there.
Ha ha...don't worry...I have enough relationship issues to allow myself to fall for another person...not to worry. I shall keep it all in perspective. Not worried about another offspring...I did not deposit my baby making fluid inside of her. And other than that very first entry...which was rather unplanned for intercourse...I used protection the other 2 times we engaged in activity.I am seeing her tonight though...she called and said she wanted me to come over after work. So cute. I said "Why, do you need to hang some pictures in your new place?" She said "actually, I was hoping I could see you naked again." I said "DONE" and hung up the phone. She's cute...guess I'll have to spring for dinner once we're done! No problema!
Talked to J briefly last night and began to tell him about Megan and he stopped me and said "babe, I am stressed now to the hilt...I can't deal with this. I love you, I trust you...just no dudes. Okay? I mean it."
I realized this all started with Megan after I came back from Europe and after J left here on 4th of July long weekend. It happened quite against what I had planned. Think I was just lonely and needed to experience real affection from a woman. Anyway...she's pretty understanding of my situation and knows I am not looking for love with her. so, she'll be fine.
Yes...stop coming here ASAP...I will be fully off this site forever by Saturday. I am also thinking of cutting back on the entertainment sites as a whole, all of them, until Idol starts up again in January.. Could use the break. Becoming obsessive.....
I think it is hard to go on Frank's because Sarah is back and snooping. Why can't we stay here, EW or MJ's? I am leaving for Hawaii soon Michael. We can stop posting here when I depart.
Michael, I am worried that you are falling for her! I am worried too that you are going to be in the position of dealing with another pregnancy unless you were good and used protecting. Michael, Frank must have told Sarah because she said "lolololololol, Michael is trying to add to his brood."
Michael, it has been a long time since you have opened up to me like this and post personal things in such a long blog. I like this!
L,
Pardon the typos...I was eating and typing and on a conference phone call all at the same time! LOL!
So, should you need to reply, please do so on Frank's, as I am planning to leave Rickey's polls for good and restrict the access from my computer at home and work. Which means..I won't be able to log on here. Kinda busy but need a few days to do that. So, by this weekend I won't be accessing this place so better to stope coming here now.
I realized I never answered your question about 2-3 episodes w/Megan. So, after I had made love to her...I culminated but she had not --I know..sometimes I get too anxious and selfish, :) anyway, I had to perform on her to bring her to 2 climaxes....but after that, I was excited again, so asked if I could enter her again and she said "of course." An hour or so later...I forced to drive her home after we showered, etc. Snuck out on bro...LOL! She wanted to sow me her new apartment (she had just moved in). After my 5 minute tour, I said I should get going. So I kissed her and hugged her, then kissed her again and again....soooooo, we ended up in her bedroom for round 3! Since this all happened on the same day and within hours....I was considering it the same episode, sort of..hence 2-3, instead of a total of 2 separate sexual liaisons. I saw her this past Sunday for brunch, but no sex (am trying not to get too involved here). she is very sweet though....she does this thing to me that I really like, and nobody has ever done. When we were waiting at the hostess desk to be seated for brunch, she clutched my forearm with both of her hands and rested her head, while standing, against my lower shoulder and chest. As if she was hugging one half of my body. It was really nice...I liked it. I am not into publicly displayed affection...but she is...she si very confident and not afraid to rest her head on my shoulder spontaneously while we are walking or standing or even seated. I am beginning to like her a lot. Certainly and definitely not love...don't think that potential exists...but I like her quite a lot and feel more affection for her since we made love.
So...I'll be closing out the rickey polls probably on Saturday when I have a chance to permanently block it from my system. I'd like to maintain his blog page though...if I can eliminate the polls only, that is what I will do. So respond on Frank's, not here...okay?
J's piece was not in the Journal...Frank noted the wrong newspaper, LOL! What Frank said was "In the paper it says that Jeffery's assets will double in size. Lucky Michael!" I think that was Frank's attempt at penis humor. J is attempting to merge with 2 other companies, effectively buying them out. His assets will double in size...as in "financial assets." Frank looks for any opportunity to make gay dick humor. My " sugar daddy"? Not sure about that...though he will be an eceedingly wealthy now. His upfront costs for these purchases are astronomical...but the rewards are abundant. Not that he needs any more money. He is trying to talk me into quitting work and taking a break...or work for him. That's all I need is to be dependent, financially, on him. No siree! He'd just love that! Last he was here he said "okay...so my accountant has projected that I will double my asset base and earnings in the first year and then take off after that...so, are you sure you don't want to marry me?" I just laughed and said (jokingly)"If I thought you were serious, I'd answer you." And he replied "I AM serious. I'd marry you in a NY minute." Ha ha! Could you ever picture me married to a man??? The notion of me being married is funny enough...but to a MAN? LOL--he is awesome though--love the dude.
Just trying to make it through the day without Elizabeth. Gets easier every day. I am wondering if my life would be more stable, easier, happier...had I never contacted her. Then once the baby comes (God willing...) I'll be seeing her again and the hurt will come back and I will suck it up and pretend it doesn't hurt. I'm not that strong. But for now..it's just making it through the day without her.
Megan is a good person...happy-go-lucky, sweet, cheerful...fun to be around. Never complains or seems to get upset. It's refreshing. Once I took control she completely backed off with her sexual flirting and her e-mails and calls...and she let me take control. That's how I like it...being in the dominant role. Without going into detail...we had an episode a couple of weeks or so back where, while it was sexual in nature, it was not sex. We were both disrobed and we both pleasured ourselves. It was hard holding back and not having intercourse...but it was very erotic and visually stimulating and I enjoyed it. She was not too pushy after that interlude...but did tell me that she would like to do it again. Well...she is very physically attractive...sexy enough, while not the sexiest woman I've ever been with. But very pretty and looks awesome nude and posing for me. Her body is very pristine and flawless. Hope I'm not saying too much. Anyway...so you know Frank and Sarah embellish and love to fabricate bs to make me look like a sex addict. Why they enjoy this, I do not know. We met for lunch after I returned from Europe. We decided to go back to my place to replicate our previous episode. Bro was supposed to be dropped off at 5:00 by his caregiver. We were both nude but had not begun our activity or simultaneous mutual satisfaction. when the buzzer on my door rang from the lobby. Huh? It was bro coming home early w/ his caretaker saying he forgot his key! LOL! Buzzed them up and Megan and I quickly ran..mostly nude..into the bedroom. We were laughing because bro was calling my name throughout the apartment "Michael! Michael!" So, I yelled "I am in the bedroom..DO NOT come in, I'd like some privacy." Bro knows what that means, LOL! So he yells back "Oh Jeffery must be home. Hi Jeffery!" So he went to his bedroom to watch tv, his caretaker left..I apologized to her...but I was still on the bed with her laughing...partially naked..So, nature sort of took it's course and the inevitable happened. I just looked at her while on top of her and said "May I?" She smiled and positioned her body so I could enter her...and it happened. The hard art was sneaking her out after so bro would not meet her! THAT would have been awkward! Later...no spell check
I tried to chat with you on Frank's and then you disappeared! Michael, you no longer have a need to apologize. What you did to me coming to my rescue when nobody else would still will always mean so much to me whether or not the debt is repaid. Frank was teasing you and I must laugh too saying that now Jeff is expanding his corporation and the Wall Street Journal says he is to double his company in size that he is your sugar daddy. That is so funny because Jeff is younger than you Michael! I am glad you are good humored.
Hawaii is a few days away but I am packing early to be organized and so I do not forget and wear things that need to be washed.
Michael, what do you mean when you say 2 or 3 episodes with Megan? Would not you remember how many sex times you had? What does that mean? Are you to continue sex with her? I am being very curious again! Sarah seems to know something so be careful if you tell Frank anything. Michael, you have not told me what happened in Europe with E. Was it a loving or a friendly visit and is her health good now? When Sarah sends messages and she think you might see them on Frank's, she says PB as you and it stands for playboy. I am sorry Michael but Sarah is very jealous too so she needs to pretend you are a playboy and that you have no emotions and are a user in women. It makes her feel that she is not losing out on something. When she says PB it means you. I think we should call her BW for bitch woman! I am being so terrible now!
Okay, thank you again, for the unsolicited religious sermon. I suppose if it is in "God's hands" then....I better start going to church if I want things to turn out positive. Right? Uh-huh...
Well, it's not that simple. Elizabeth has nothing to do with Megan...and what I have done with Megan was only 2-3 episodes and not completely for sexual pleasure. She is being a friend to me at a time when I feel I don't really have anyone. She cared enough to offer me that. She made a point to be with me at her own inconvenience when I needed a shoulder...okay? Now that we have been intimate, I do care about her more...but that was inevitable. She is a good person and very nice, very positive, honest and fun to be around. She takes my mind off of things. Liz is back with her husband and it is no longer my place to speculate for how long a duration, or what impetus she has for staying with him. She may change her mind and she very well may not. I cannot wait around for her...unfair to both of us. She has no emotional expectations or long term romantic expectations of me. The only one I really need to answer to is J. He will be okay with this, I know. It only really happened on 2 or 3 occasions and may never happen again. We will see.
Again...I really wish you had not sent those funds to me. I don't know what else to say. I am still very sorry that you were made to feel as a user and so compelled to tell Roger about what happened so long ago and guilted into returning this money. It was a gift, not a loan. ... I only wanted to help. It still angers me when I think about how this all played out. I am very sorry.
Enjoy Hawaii!
Michael, I am worried too and I hope for you that E is well and healthy. Do they still expect they she will lose the baby? I know that it hurts your heart to think of this because I read what Frank wrote to Sarah and Dana about what you shared on your computer technical site. Michael, it is in God's hands and you must have faith.
Are you now having a sex and physical relations with Megan? I am a little surprising since you saw E in London that you would now be with Megan. I am only a guess this is what you are doing, so what is happening with you and Megan now? I was going to ask you at Frank's but I know Frank and Sarah know something and I did not want to have them gossip more about your life and sex partners. I know you do not like when they go negative.
Roger is wiring you the money when the bank opens at 9:00. I know you don't want it but it is only right. You should to give out your address in October when I asked you so I could mail it then. Thank you for your honor and I will not easily forget you saving me. You should have told me that it was unsettled about the money. I should then thank Quiet for bringing the importance of it's repayment to my attention. Roger also included interest for it as a loan. Is this acceptable Michael?
I have to run back to my packing. It will be nice to relax and be care freeing in Hawaii!
Very busy...met Megan this morning for brunch, and then had to work. Have been shirking my duties this week and last, and have found myself behind. My crazy life. Reeeeeeallly miss Jeffery. Bro has been keeping me on my toes with J gone...and now I have to make plans for unexpected company next week. Haven't heard from Elizabeth in a few days and am now concerned about her health. I hope I can sleep tonight w/ out worry. She didn't look particularly healthy when I was out there. She looked gaunt and tired. Poor thing. :(
Where are you my friend?
Ok. On 19 July. Which time? Don't let Sarah know or it will be disaster! What is the diagnosis then? Come to Frank's to tell me when the updating alert is off and on private again.
hugs,
L
Naomi is a former friend from London. We were pretty close for a spell...then she decided to hate me when I began dating Ana. That's okay though...not angry...she was just trying to spare Ana's heart from being broken. Ana and she were good friends os I get that. Besides...I think Naomi didn't like the fact that my relationship with Ana rather prevented both of us from seeing her as often. She is a nosey Parker, but a good mother and a decent person....a bit bitchy and meddlesome for my taste. I know I've mentioned her before...but perhaps not to you.
Michael, Who is Naomi? I don't know that name. Is she another former lover from London?
I care little about what Sarah says....it doesn't offend me so don't feel the need to event ell me...I don't really care.
I think I told you I was able to see many friends in Europe/UK...Bea, Ana, Liz and I even saw Naomi, who conveniently happened to pop in while I was visiting Ana. LOL! I had absolutely no intention of bedding Ana....I love her as a friend and as a former lover, but do not wish to complicate her life. She is happy with a boyfriend and she holds no resentment toward me. She knew from the onset that it was not to be enduring and while she voiced her feelings to me and her wishes to go further should I choose...she is happy for what we have and from what we have become: life long friends. She is awesome and so sweet and I care about her...a lot. In fact, if I were free of J and did not have the responsibility of Liz and the new baby coming...and if I resided still in UK....I would most definitely think of pairing with her in a relationship. Naomi was very cordial...bordering on kind this time! She hugged me and told me Thomas...her little boy...missed me. Ana, in her wisdom, did not tell her about Liz's impending delivery. Thank God or she would have started her bitch rants or given me the cold shoulder.
Gotta run--promised to take bro out for breakfast this morn.
Thanks Michael for the Hawaii information. I think I will let Roger take care of the planning because he is willing and I do not much care for planning out my journeys. I sent you a message on MJ's and it was deletion. Her blog is quiet now that Idol and Voice is over so she has time to perusal and find posts that are off topic. I left you that message again at Frank's and thank you for your reply there. I want you to know that Sarah is back to talking about you but that it has not been that bad yet. She said to Frank, "It looks like Michael is back to his old games again. That didn't take long. Maybe he wants to add to his brood, lolololololol!" First Michael, I did not know what brood meant but I looked up the word and it means children in a family. That was unkind to poke at the fun for E being pregnant with your baby and saying that you are to get other girls pregnant too. Frank thought it was funny but he is more joking than evil. She is so jealous just like Quiet. Then second, I really hate when Sarah does that - lololololololol, it is annoying to me. Why can't she write it once like everyone else?
Are you ready to open about what happened with your admirers in Europe? What happened with Megan this time, anything with sex or just friends? I am here to listen as your friend. I need your address to mail you the money I owed you. Thank you dear man!
Headache gone. I have visited Hawaii twice...once in my youth as a family trip, and then again during college spring break. Don't remember much.Volcanos are always fun to see....beautiful blue ocean water...caves. The thing about traveling is...if you do it with someone you really like...care about, etc...you will have a great and memorable time. Play it by ear and have no set plan or expectations. This is always, imo, the best way to travel. J is trying to close his deals so I don't want to pressure him about coming home again when he is working his (awesome and sexy) ass off. He will let me know soon...I may only get a days notice. I miss making love to him...it's been hard, worse than when I was in London because we were not getting along as well then. I need tot talk to him, so I am really missing his companionship and our conversations now. I need to talk to my sister about her step son touring Yale. I haven't heard an update...but I'll need some notice. I think he is planning to come end of this month. I have 2 friends who live in that area still (one is a Yale prof now) so will visit them then.
Hi Michael, I saw your message at Frank's from earlier in this evening and then when I made to reply, Frank's system was down. I think he is doing maintenance again so your message may be purged. How did everything go? I will try you at MJ's. I hope your headache is better. I use Ibuprophen when I have headaches and it works for me. Do you have any thoughts on Hawaii to share with me? When are you taking your nephew to Yale and when is Jeff expected to travel back home?
Michael, You are a gentleman through and through and have such strong values. I told you yesterday I am in awe of you and your resiliance and it is not wonders to me why you have so many admirers. The closer I become to Roger and the longer I know him I realise the same qualities in him too. Yours are more obvious to me, but his are there.
I know very much that look you gave her and with those eyes you have and that way of staring, I can only bet you she was flattered. She is not use to men smiling or looking at her that way because of her status and her most famous in the world husband. You have very much sex appeal just like her husband. Do you think he is hot too? Would you have sex with him if he was gay or bisex? I am only asking for curiosity.
What can you tell me about Hawaii? I know of nobody who has visited. I need some advice. Roger wants to do these boring type of activity walks and tours. I want to sun on the beach and go to Luau and try to surfing the waves. What is your advice if you have traveled to there.? We are beginning in Mawai.