Awesome! Its in fact remarkable paragraph, I have got much
clear idea about from this article.
My therapist has been working on me because I was (hopefully all in the past) the self-loathing theory to the T! I see it in other women now all the time. You nailed it with that one. We are so smart we are able to set ourselves up in situations that will validate what we think of ourselves, without even realizing we do it, and without WANTING to do it.
I think all of these ideas are good, but I feel like I see the Project Theory more often than anything else. I don't know about the whole manipulation part, BUT I will say that I see a lot of women who have this attitude like "Oh, he's really got a good heart underneath all that [gruffness/meanness/jackassery/whatever], he just needs a good woman to love him," and of course she thinks she's that woman. She thinks she's going to bring out this big heart of his that's hidden underneath it all.
Like I said, I'm not familiar with the whole manipulation side of things, but what I can see is that this attitude women take is definitely a control/codependency issue. She's not happy with herself and so she's going to settle for "fixing" or "rescuing" someone else.