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Glad Colorado College won out :). I was there for ICR in 2016 and loved the place. English faculty there are pretty cool too, though I know that wouldn't be your department.
W. T. F.
I voted Bucknell because they keep hiring every year or two. It's a super weird married-couple-led department, and the MLA interview I did with them in 08 was wack as hell and I want video evidence of your reaction to their curveball questions.
Colorado Springs is pretty cool, despite the megachurches.
I so wish my institution had a job opening for which you were qualified. I'd be busting in on those search committee to make my self annoying to advocate for you. But you wouldn't want our job here because of the the abysmal (abysmal, I say!) faculty salaries. But I'd love to work with you.
Keep the hilarity coming. Best of luck with your one job application!
I say get the Combos!