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Q.1
You’re standing on a clifftop, taking in the view on a clear spring morning. A fleet of strange looking ships appears on the horizon. They’re long and narrow, with a curved bow and stern and rectangular sails. Do you:
A: Heave a despairing sigh - the tourist season is starting early this year
B: Pick up your tools and start carving a picture of them on a nearby rock - they might like it as a souvenir
C: Hurry down to alert your neighbours and arm yourselves in readiness
D: Collect your family and hide in the nearest broch
Q.2
You’re looking for your cas chrom. Are you most likely to have left it:
A: In the boot of your Skoda Pictavia
B: Round with your neighbour, who had run out of firewood
C: In your fishing boat
D: Over by the lazybeds
Q.3
As your group sits around the hearth one evening, the Druid elder stares into the flames and warns of fire approaching from over the ocean. Do you:
A: Take the Drambuie away from him - he’s already had enough
B: Tell him to stop worrying everyone and go to sleep
C: Ask him to cast a spell to protect the community
D: Make plans to move your family inland to a safer home
Q.4
Late at night, you hear something moving and scuffling around your hut. It sounds like it might be a bear. Do you:
A: Call up Facetime on your MacBroch Pro and start doing a whispered broadcast in the style of Gordon Buchanan
B: Go back to sleep - bears are cute!
C: Worry that it might be hungry, and wonder what food you can offer it
D: Silently pick up your spear - you’ll need its pelt for winter warmth
Q.5
On the incoming tide, a small boat is dragged up the beach by a group of devout-looking men wearing simple robes and speaking Irish. Do you:
A: Imagine that there’s a game on at Murrayfield and point them in the direction of the A9.
B: Eye them with suspicion - unannounced visitors are becoming quite persistent
C: Get them all drunk on Caol Ila 25-year-old and put them back in their boat
D: Greet them with open arms and help them to build a small chapel (well, it seems to make them happy)
Q.6
Late one night, you’re gazing at the canopy of stars and pondering on the complexities of life. Suddenly, a brilliant object blazes a trail across the sky. Are you:
A: Galvanised into action - that meteorite would make a great addition to your collection!
B: Moved to tears at the sheer beauty of the natural world
C: Paralysed with fear - the gods are showing their anger and you must make a sacrifice to placate them
D: Inspired to compose a Pictish poem in a language that future generations will understand (well, one of you should have done!)
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